120825

 

Immaculate Conception mass!
Beautiful surprise to have a full mass with music

Doctors appointment
DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THE FOOD ALLERGIES

Adoration TURNAROUND. I could not ignore my conscience or loving affection.

Night = MASS #2!
Beautiful dark church afterwards

Choir director worried about my mental health in light of severe family stress. Seriously suggesting I spend Christmas Eve by myself, instead of risking having another suicidal meltdown like last year
Mom phone calls increase the terror; she KEEPS scheduling and pushing MORE STUFF. I just want to REST and live Advent AS Advent – I need quiet & stillness to worship & prepare for Christmas; not all this insane running around & partying.
It's so hard to say no to her though. She doesn’t accept it, and I've had it drilled into my skull since childhood that "you must do whatever mommy wants" even when it hurts and scares you, "to make her happy."
I'm so tired. I'm so tired of her literally ruling my life. I never got to "grow up" because I was always the maid, the doll, the nurse, the slave, the toy, the pet, the mirror. Even now I'm not allowed to be my own person because whenever I'm around the family there is an obligatory enforced role i must fill and i hate it.

I can't let this family insanity mangle Christmas for me again. I'm terrified that i really will die this year, if it does.


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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations%203&version=NET

2:19 The LXX records (emnēsthēn, “I remembered”)... whereas the MT preserves the form (zekhor), which may be... second person masculine singular (“Remember!”) or infinitive construct (“To remember…”). A second person masculine singular imperative would most likely address God...
(lit., “my poverty and my homelessness”) form a nominal hendiadys... “my impoverished homelessness” or “homeless poor”... Jerusalem’s inhabitants were impoverished and homeless.
[I note this because WHAT is being "remembered"– by the poet OR by God– is the people, NOT merely the poet's personal experience of shared hardship? The call is to "recall AND observe," to "consider AND attend to"; Hebrew "remembering" is ACTIVE even in its passivity; it "brings to mind" in order to "make present", therefore to make "immediate" as well, requiring attention AND attendance. For either party to "remember" the "homeless poor" is to SEE them AS such, truly to feel their suffering with them, and to testify TO "remembrance" of them by alleviating their distress now that it is known. To "remember" and NOT respond in charity would expose a very hard, very cold heart– betraying a memory of mere data, detached from compassion and from reality, and therefore good for nothing.]
[I wonder if it may be argued that, even in the poet's personal recall of his own individual anguish, expressed here IN lament, he IS "making" GOD "remember" it too? Because God ALWAYS listens with full care, attention, and understanding, and He is "acquainted with our misery through and through." For the poet to simply confess, in his distress, "I remember how bitter my life was (NIrV)", even without explicitly asking God to do the same, is enough of a prayer to function as one. Furthermore, if this poetic voice is indeed appropriated & fulfilled by Jesus Christ, then HIS remembering of "HIS" suffering is actually a "remembrance" of the suffering of ALL HUMANITY... actively so, upon the Cross. So yes, God has not forgotten, and will never overlook, the "homeless poor" of His people, because He remembers them as His Own Heart. "When they cry out," even alone, "the LORD hears them," for their cry is echoed on the lips of His Son. His personal "My life" as the Son of Man is truly "OUR life," the universal experience of poverty & homelessness when separated from God by sin, yet felt acutely by each soul in isolated anguish. Jesus takes it ALL on His Shoulders, unites all our aching hearts as one in His Own Pierced Heart, which remembers all of us in every moment, and– opened to us as the Door to Salvation– mercifully washes away all the bitterness of exile in the surpassing sweetness of His Love.]
[The Heavenly Jerusalem’s inhabitants are still in this "poor & homeless" condition, paradoxically, for as long as we live here on earth in the body, in a world and with a heart still plagued by the effects of sin, we ARE technically "in exile" from the eternal & spiritual City of God. We are "homeless" away from the LORD and His realized Kingdom, "impoverished" in that this world holds no value or wealth for us; our treasure is in Heaven alone. Nevertheless, "blessed are the poor in spirit." We are rich in His Promise, and we have a sure Home waiting for us, no matter how much we suffer lack & loss here. God is our everything, and His faithful Providence supplies all our needs; therefore, in every circumstance, and despite all appearances, "there is nothing we shall want."]

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Verse 3:19 clips/combos=

O Lord, remember earnestly my affliction, my mourning, my anguish, and my utter misery, my aimless wandering and my outcast state... Remember the wormwood and the bitterness, the gall and the venom!

The realization of my poverty and wretched homelessness is wormwood and gall to me..  Lord, remember my impoverished and homeless condition, which is a bitter poison.

Grievous thoughts of affliction and wandering plagued my mind... The memory of my suffering, pain, and homelessness is bitterness and poison... bitterness beyond words. Just thinking of my sorrows and my lonely wandering makes me miserable... My troubles are like poison for me.

Lord, please remember all my troubles, because I am sad. Remember that I am very lonely... Remember, I am very sad, and I have no home. Remember the bitter poison that You gave me.

I remember wandering around in misery, drinking the poison of bitterness... I think about my troubles, with no home to go to. It is like a bitter poison that I have to drink.

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom...

Don't forget everything I've suffered in my wandering, as bitter as wormwood and poison... I remember how I suffered and wandered. I remember how bitter my life was... Lord, Remember my trouble and my traveling from place to place, the wormwood and bitter feelings...

Oh LORD, remember the bitterness and suffering You have dealt to me!

[I just realized an even deeper purpose to the first-person delivery of these lines. By reading the words "I remember," we are placed in the position OF the poet, "putting us in his shoes," and fostering true empathy, because our minds are naturally compelled to identify with the sentiment, and will instinctively TRY to "remember" something analogous to "wormwood and gall" in our OWN lived experience. This both opens OUR hearts up to sincere lament to God, AND opens our minds up to realize that this same sort of suffering I personally know is known by ALL mankind in some way, and united as one hurting heart through this universal "I" of the poet. We say "I remember" as ourselves, just as much as we say it "as a voice for the voiceless" in our world, and as a "remembrance" of the poet himself, and his people. ALL of us are united in the "I remember"... and, as I mentioned before, this very act of remembering across the ages and within countless hearts IS the very "memory of God," residing in the Heart of Christ, and experienced entirely in His Person, as the True Man and New Adam. "We are all made one IN HIM"... "one God and Father of all, Who is over all, in all, and living through all"... "For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one Body [of Christ], whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit"... "If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it"... "Above all, clothe yourselves with Love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony"... "Christ is all, and in all." Etc. The point is, we are all one, in every way, in every time and place, through Jesus Christ, Who IS the very Word of Scripture, and Who cries every one of our "I remember" laments with us, on the Cross.]

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https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7743.htm
shuach: to sink, literally or figuratively -- bow down, incline, humble; a ditch, pit, depression

...conveys the act of sinking, bowing low, or being humbled. Across its limited but strategic appearances, it marks a descent—whether physical, emotional, or moral—highlighting humanity’s frailty in contrast to the steadfastness of God.

Psalm 44:25 presents the collective lament of Israel: “For our soul has sunk to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground.” Here shuach pictures utter prostration after devastating defeat, reinforcing reliance on divine covenant mercy.
Proverbs 2:18 warns of the seductive path of the adulteress: “For her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the spirits of the dead.” Shuach exposes the inexorable downward spiral of sin that [inevitably] ends in spiritual ruin.
• Lamentations 3:20 records Jeremiah’s personal grief: “Surely my soul remembers and sinks down within me.” The inner descent prepares the way for the prophet’s renewed hope in God’s mercies.

Theological Threads
1. National Humiliation and Divine Appeal: Psalm 44 places shuach amid covenant lament. The nation’s collapse drives them to appeal to God’s past acts and to anticipate future deliverance. The verb underscores that genuine hope often begins IN acknowledged helplessness.

2. Moral Decline and Ultimate Death: Proverbs 2 contrasts paths of wisdom and folly. Shuach in verse 18 portrays the downward pull of immorality. The language warns that sin does not merely stumble—it sinks, dragging the sinner toward death and Sheol.

3. Personal Brokenness and Restoration: In Lamentations 3, shuach describes the soul’s collapse under affliction. Yet this low point becomes the turning hinge to one of Scripture’s greatest affirmations of hope: “Because of the LORD’s loving devotion we are not consumed”. Humbling precedes healing.

Though rare, shuach appears in major genres—poetry, wisdom, and prophetic lament—linking communal, ethical, and individual experience. Its usage contributes to Hebrew parallelism, pairing downward motion with dust, death, or humility, thus amplifying poetic impact.

Ministry Applications
• Pastoral Care: Shuach validates seasons of profound discouragement. Counselors may guide believers from honest acknowledgment of “sinking” toward the hope anchored in God’s steadfast Love.
• Preaching on Repentance: Proverbs 2:18 equips sermons that expose sin’s trajectory before proclaiming redemption in Christ, Who “bore our griefs” and was “brought low” on our behalf.
• Corporate Worship: Psalm 44 models prayer that moves from national shame to petition for rescue, useful in liturgies of confession and lament.

Christological and Eschatological Echoes
The downward arc of shuach foreshadows the incarnate Son Who “descended” into human suffering and death yet rose triumphant. Believers share in this pattern: united to Christ, they may be “struck down, but not destroyed”, assured that every present humbling will be swallowed up in resurrection glory.

Shuach serves as a concise theological signpost: from the depths of humiliation or sin, God invites His people to look up, trust His covenant faithfulness, and anticipate ultimate vindication in the risen Christ.

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations%203&version=NET

3:20 Heb “my soul…” or “your soul…”
["Your" referring to WHOM?

3:20 ...In theory [shuakh] could be [from] a root (shikh, “melt away, despair”) or... a root (shukh, “to sink down, collapse”)... or of (shakhakh, “stoop down, be bent over”). None of these are common roots, and one or more may be byforms of each other... The various options yield similar meanings.

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Verse 3:20 clips/combos=

My soul continually remembers them and is bowed down within me...

I will be mindful and remember, and my soul shall meditate with me... I will call to mind the past, and my soul shall languish within me.

My soul still remembers And sinks within me.
My soul continues to remember these things and is so discouraged.
Surely my soul certainly remembers and is humbled within me.
My soul shall have them still in remembrance because it is humbled in me.

I remember it very well. My spirit is very sad deep down inside me.
I think about all those things, and I feel small and alone.
I remember them well. And I am very sad.

That's all I ever think about... My mind keeps reflecting on it... I think of it constantly, and my spirit is depressed...
Remembering it over and over, my soul is downcast... I think about these things all the time, and I feel very upset... They are always on my mind; this is why I am so depressed... I can’t help but remember and am depressed... My soul always remembers, and it has sunk within me... I certainly haven't forgotten. I remember it all too well, so I sink into depression.

Grieving, my soul thinks back; these thoughts cripple me, and I sink down.

I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.
For I can never forget these awful years; always my soul will live in utter shame.

Yea, thou shalt remember them, for my soule melteth away in me.
Lord, remember, and return my soul to me! Remember and restore my life!
Please remember me and think about me.

Remember, O remember; even though my soul shall fail in me.

Hebrew consonants =
Remember, remember [and call to mind] (and call to mind) upon my soul.
Remember, remember, and speak (and anoint) my soul.

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https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Lamentations%203:21

But this I recall/ call to mind, and therefore have I hope and expectation:

But then I choose to remember God, and this is my hope:
I recall this to my mind, Therefore I wait.

Nevertheless, I keep this in my heart. This is the reason I have hope:
But I have hope when I think of this [return it to my mind/heart]:
This I will return to my heart; Therefore I will wait in hope.
These things I shall think over in my heart, therefore will I hope.
I consider this in mine heart: therefore have I hope.
This shall go down into my heart; therefore I shall wait.
I bethink these things in mine heart, I shall hope in God.
This I turn to my heart -- therefore I hope.

But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
But in my mind I keep returning to something, something that gives me hope—
But here is something else I remember. And it gives me hope.
Then I remember something that fills me with hope.
Gaining hope, I remember and wait for this thought:
The reason I can still find hope is that I keep this one thing in mind:
However, I will call this to mind as the reason for my hope:
This I have reminded myself, therefore I will hope.
Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing:
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
Yet there is one ray of hope:

Hebrew says literally "this I CAUSE TO RETURN to my heart" = This is an ACTIVE, DECISIVE REMEMBERING OF GOD'S LOVE, recalled in SURRENDERED TRUSTING FAITH, that OPENS THE HEART TO HOPE IN HIM STILL!!

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations%203&version=NET

3:21 Heb “to my heart.” The noun  (levav, “heart”) has a broad range of meanings, including its use as a metonymy of association, standing for thoughts and thinking (= “mind”)
("...with respect to the motive of the thoughts of the heart... make firm their heart to You"... "Set your heart to all the words which I testify to you today"... "the thoughts of my heart"... "his heart does not plan this, for it is in his heart to destroy"... "Set your heart upon your ways”... "set your heart from this day and upward"... "let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart"... "Do not plan evil in your hearts"... etc.)

[I'm getting obsessive with translation data again. I need to stop.]

3:22 It is difficult to capture the nuances of the Hebrew word (khesed). When used of the Lord it is often connected to His covenant loyalty. This is the only occasion when the plural form of (khesed) precedes the plural form of (rakhamim, “mercy, compassion”)... The plurals may indicate several concrete expressions of God’s kindnesses & mercy or may indicate the abstract concept of His kindness & mercy... or the plural of intensity: “great compassion & mercy.” 

The MT reads (tamenu) as, “we are [not] cut off,”... “[Because of] the kindnesses of the Lord, indeed we are not cut off.” However, the ancient versions and many medieval Hebrew mss preserve the alternate reading (tammu)... “The kindnesses of the Lord indeed never cease.” 
[I love how BOTH possible translations harmonize beautifully with, and fulfill the meaning of, each other.]

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https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Lamentations%203:22

"WE HAVE NOT BEEN BROUGHT TO AN END BECAUSE GOD'S TENDER LOVE FOR US NEVER COMES TO AN END"
("Can a woman forget her baby who nurses at her breast? Can she withhold compassion from the child she has borne? Even if mothers were to forget, I could never forget you!")

"God is never finished showing us compassion"

It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed... because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish,
for His mercies never end... His tender compassions fail not.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases... The Lord's unfailing love and mercy still continue... The Lord’s trustworthy love never ends. His merciful compassion never stops.

Certainly the faithful love of the Lord hasn’t ended; certainly God’s compassion isn’t through... The Lord’s acts of mercy are not exhausted, his compassion is not spent.
God’s loyal love [will never] run out, his merciful love [will never be] dried up.
The grace of God is not exhausted...  He never stops being kind to us.

The Lord's kindness never fails! If He had not been merciful, we would have been destroyed.
We are still alive because the Lord’s faithful love never ends.
We were not completely wiped out. His compassion is never limited... His compassion has no limits.
It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction.

Because of the Lord’s gracious love we are not consumed... his commiserations have not failed... his mercies never diminish... His mercies don’t fail.

The kindnesses of God! ...The loving-commitments of God! For we have not been wasted or finished off...

The Lord loves us very much. So we haven’t been completely destroyed. His loving concern never fails... His loving-pity never ends.

How enduring is God’s loyal love; the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion... the kindness of His endless love is never exhausted.

Da One In Charge, he stay tight wit us guys foeva! Da tings he do fo show pity fo us guys, goin be lidat foeva!

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https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7356.htm
racham: compassion (in the plural); by extension, the womb (as cherishing the fetus); compassion, tender love, (great, tender) mercy, pity; by implication, a maiden/ damsel.

Racham expresses a visceral, womb-like tenderness that moves one to merciful action. It is never a cold or abstract pity; the word pictures warm parental affection that both feels and does. While often rendered “mercy” or “compassion,” its imagery of the womb links it to life-giving protection and nurture.

• Torah – chiefly in narratives that reveal covenant family loyalties
• Former Prophets – highlighting merciful judgments
• Writings – Psalms and Proverbs employ the word in worship and wisdom
• Latter Prophets – concentrated testimony to God’s restorative purpose
The pervasive pattern shows compassion as both divine attribute and covenant expectation for Israel.

Divine Compassion is the Character of God: The Lord’s Self-revelation in Exodus 34:6–7 (“The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God…”) becomes the fountainhead from which ALL later uses of racham flow. When David pleads, “Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your loving devotion; according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions”, he leans upon this foundational declaration. Prophets echo the same assurance: “Though a mother may forget, I will not forget you”, implying that divine racham surpasses even maternal instinct.

Human Compassion within Covenant Community: Because God is compassionate, His people must mirror that compassion. Zechariah commands, “Show loving devotion and compassion to one another”. The Solomonic judgment between the two women portrays true motherhood revealed by racham— she whose “compassion burned for her son” chooses his life over her claim. Such narratives ground social ethics in covenant mercy rather than mere sentiment.

Failure to exercise racham invites judgment, yet even judgment serves a compassionate end. After exile the Lord promises, “I will again have compassion on them and bring them back to their own land”. Hosea’s marriage metaphor climaxes with promise: “I will betroth you to Me forever … in compassion”. Thus prophetic hope rests on the steady pulse of divine tenderness that refuses to abandon His people.

Psalms employ racham to celebrate and implore God’s steadfast care... “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.” Such verses shape Israel’s worship, teaching the congregation to link praise, confession, and petition to the Lord’s compassionate nature.

While racham itself is Hebrew, the concept permeates the Greek Scriptures... The Gospel presentations of Jesus repeatedly portray Him as moved with “compassion”, fulfilling and embodying the Old Testament portrait of divine racham.
("through the heart of the mercy of our God, by which, descending from on high, he has visited us"... "because of the tender mercy of our God by which the daybreak from on high will visit usbecause of the tender compassions of the mercy of our God, wherein the day-spring from on high shall visit us")
("Since God chose you to be the holy people he dearly loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy"... "God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people... Put on, therefore, as God's elect, holy and beloved, tender affections of heartfelt compassion")

Practical Ministry Application
1. Preaching: Emphasize that God’s mercies are both affectionate and active; they initiate salvation and sustain sanctification.
2. Pastoral care: Model womb-like protection for the vulnerable– widows, orphans, refugees– in both tangible aid and spiritual nurture.
3. Discipleship: Encourage believers to “clothe yourselves with compassion” as the visible fruit of regeneration.
4. Missions: Let the certainty of God’s future compassion for the nations energize evangelism.

Reverent reflection on racham therefore deepens confidence in the Lord’s faithful heart and calls the redeemed community to display the same mercy in word and deed.

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3:23 The adjective (rav) has a broad range of meanings:
(1) quantitative: “much, numerous, many (with plurals), abundant, enough, exceedingly” and
(2) less often in a qualitative sense: “great” (a) of space and location, (b) “strong” as opposed to “weak” and (c) “major.”
The traditional translation, “great is thy faithfulness,” should be understood in a quantitative sense: “your faithfulness is abundant” [or, “plentiful”]. NJPS correctly translates, “Ample is your grace!”
[Maternal language abounds. That's deeply moving actually.]

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https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Lamentations%203:23

They are new and renewed every morning; great and abundant beyond measure is Your stability and faithfulness.
It is new every morning. He is so very faithful.

The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each morning.
Every morning he shows it in new ways! You are so very true and loyal!
Every day, we can trust him to be kind again. We know that he will do what he has promised to do.

Great is his faithfulness; his loving-kindness begins afresh each day... his mercies begin afresh each morning.
They’re created new every morning... They are fresh every morning... your faithfulness is abundant!

Here they are, every morning, new! Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise... Your faithfulness, God, is as broad as the day.

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https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Lamentations%203:24

The Lord is my portion, my share, and my inheritance,” says my soul (my living being; my inner self); “Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him... therefore in hope will I wait for Him.

"God is all I have,” I say; “therefore I will put my hope in him."
Deep in my heart I say, “The Lord is all I need; I can depend on him!”
I say to myself, “The Lord is everything I will ever need. So I will put my hope in him.
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my God, and I trust him.”
I say to myself, “The Lord is mine, so I hope in him."
‘He is my Lord,’ I say to myself. ‘He is the reason why I can hope for good things.’

My soul can say, ‘The Lord is my lot in life. That is why I find hope in him.’

My soul claims the Lord as my inheritance; therefore I will hope in him.

Have courage, for the Eternal is all that I will need. My soul boasts, “Hope in God; just wait.”

My soul said, The Lord is my part; therefore I shall abide him.

My portion [is] the LORD, hath my soul said, Therefore I hope for Him.

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https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Lamentations%203:25

The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and confidently and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God’s Word].

The Lord is kind to everyone who trusts and obeys him.

The Lord is good to those who put their hope in him... whose hope is in him.
He is good to those who look to him for help... to anyone who seeks help from him.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.

The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.

The Eternal One is good to those who expect Him, to those who seek Him wholeheartedly.

The Lord is good to them that hope into him.

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Sun of justice, you showed your day was dawning in the immaculate Virgin Mary;
    help us to walk in the daylight of your presence.
– Lord, may your mother pray for us.

Saviour of the world, by your redemptive power you preserved your mother Mary from every stain of sin;
    deliver us from the evil that lies hidden in our hearts.
– Lord, may your mother pray for us.

Christ, our Redeemer, you made the Virgin Mary the sanctuary of your presence and the temple of the Spirit;
    make us bearers of your Spirit, in mind, heart and body.
– Lord, may your mother pray for us.

King of kings, you assumed Mary into heaven to be with you completely in body and soul;
    may we seek the things that are above and keep our lives fixed on you.
– Lord, may your mother pray for us.


King of glory, Lord of power and might, cleanse our hearts from all sin, preserve the innocence of our hands, and keep our minds from vanity, so that we may deserve your blessing in your holy place.

Lord God, ruler and guide of heaven and earth, you gave Christ a share in our human race, made him a priest, and brought him into the temple of your glory.  Make our intentions pure and selfless and give virtue to our thoughts, that the King of glory may enter our hearts and bring us rejoicing to your holy mountain.