080925

Aug. 9th, 2025 08:57 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
LAUNDRY HELL NIGHT
Cannot get that stain removed smell of of the white jeans


Gonna bravely wear a SKIRT to Mass today
AND use our Saint Joan of Arc tote bag instead of the bookbag
Gotta live Fatima! Honestly It's restitution for all our years of transgender behavior and sexual sin. Now we must strive to be as modest and feminine and obedient as possible, as penance.

VOTD actually applies to this = Proverbs 31!!
Seriously, study that too. I must become that sort of godly woman, at long last, for the honor OF my God.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unexpected Genesis 24:14-28 TPT commentary on that exact femininity topic actually =

⭐"Would the girl be willing to give ten thirsty camels water from the well? [Rebekah’s] willingness to serve water showed that she had a true servant-spirit. What work to draw water for these thirsty camels! She had to lower her bucket down the well many times, for one camel can drink twenty gallons— all for a stranger!
(Furthermore, did this laborious and generous task without complaint or hesitation. She also didn't

⭐‼️ "It was evening, and it would have been dark after she was done."
(Still, Rebekah doesn't rush or do a halfway job as a result. She perseveres, no matter how "late" it makes her in her own errand, no matter if it "throws off her schedule", because she has completely prioritized Eliezer's needs over herself, and has even "gone the extra mile" in serving him. Eliezer only asked for a drink; her magnanimous response was a compassionate choice of her own volition, yet inspired and enabled by God's grace in her.)

⭐⭐‼️ "Only an exceptional woman would do something like this. She is a picture of the servant-bride of Jesus Christ."
("Exceptional" = "set apart" = "HOLY." I cannot be such a woman if I am still "caught up" in worldly things, or even worse, suffocated in the grip of my own foolish ego!)

⭐⭐‼️"This one act of service qualified Rebekah to be Isaac's bride and to be brought into the line of Christ and His inheritance. We often do not realize how one act of humble service will affect the world and bring promotion to our own life.
(I'm guessing "promotion" refers to an "increase of holiness"? To "promote" means "to move forward/ push onward" or "to raise or exalt someone to a higher grade, position, post, or office." It can also apparently mean "to reveal/ bring something to light." So, by an act of humble selfless service, we "move forward" towards being more Christlike, and are "pushed onward" to further virtuous acts, through the grace that enters us via such exercises of charity. We are "raised" above our ego, "exalted" in God's eyes by humbling ourselves. In time, a "higher grade" is a "level up" in what good we will be called & enabled to do, as well as our having a "higher quality" to our character, like the finest ore mined up by our good labors; a higher "position" lifts us out of the mire of sin, and sets our feet upon the rock of charity; a higher "post" is our being assigned to greater responsibilities for God, and a higher "position" is a loftier placement in our Christian walk uphill, as we carry our blessed crosses to the summit with our Lord. And ALL of this is initiated by "one act of humble service," the spark that lights the flame of the Spirit within us, and catches the tinder of our broken lives, transforming us even in that first instant. Faith is brought to life by good works. Love truly expresses itself through good works. Hope is demonstrated and magnetized by good works. We are composite beings; we are spiritual AND physical, soul AND body– just like Christ, ALL of our virtues and graces REQUIRE an "Incarnation" to be complete and true!! They cannot exist in mere thought or theory; they MUST be made MANIFEST, in our words and deeds. And they RADIATE to the world, inevitably so, for all humanity is connected, and all good things seek to spread themselves out to benefit the most people. Your "one act" WILL have a ripple effect that WILL ultimately affect the world, for each life touches every other, at countless invisible points. God orchestrates it all for good. He rejoices when we humbly but happily add our notes to His Song of Love, using the instruments of grace He has given us for that very purpose, following the score of His Son, and directed by the Spirit, always moving within us.)
(What truly astounds me is that this "one act of service" to Eliezer "qualified her" to share in the Messianic Promise. She had "one chance" that she didn't even realize was there, and yet her "constant character" was such that she was "already prepared" AND "immediately willing" TO do such a good work, however unexpectedly and suddenly. This shows that we MUST be READY to do God's work and will, at ALL TIMES, by MAKING our HEARTS the very sort that NATURALLY do such good! When the Spirit moves and calls us– when the Bridegroom arrives at midnight– there's NO TIME to "decide" or "weigh your options" or "hesitate" whatsoever! You don't have any time to "get into the right frame of mind," trying to quickly "work up a generous spirit" that you otherwise weren't disposer to having! We MUST be ALREADY AFLAME with the Holy Spirit, the "oil of grace" abundant within us from MANY "good works" stored up daily, "always keeping watch"! Then, when the hidden "qualifier" comes, that "one act" that suddenly calls us higher than we've ever been before, we will already be the "Proverbs 31" woman, already established in character and conduct as one QUALIFIED to be a BRIDE. And THAT'S the most amazing thing about this to me. You don't marry someone based on looks or hearsay. You don't choose a wife based on fleeting and temporary things. Rebekah here proved– BY her ready and willing charity, her free and generous hospitality, without any grumble or hesitation or protest– what kind of woman she already and solidly was at HEART. Her "one act" was the crest of a wave in the ocean of her character, built up by countless coalescing movements hidden within. It was the outward proof of inward disposition, so effortless and responsive that it couldn't be faked and was already a habit. THAT'S the kind of woman you want to raise your children and care for your home. THAT'S the sort of heart that CHRIST seeks in us, His Bride, the Church. I feel that every day, we have an opportunity to not only readily respond to His plea to "give Him a drink," but also to then freely offer to "water His camels" too, no matter the effort, no matter the labor, no matter the hour. We must be the sort of Bride that "just does that sort of thing," yes, "even for a total stranger," out of unconditional and irrepressible charity, in all things and all places and all times. We must be ourselves "wells of water" for thirsty souls, never tiring of giving, for it is why we exist. But we cannot do this alone. We need the Holy Spirit within us, the Fountain of Living Water. Rebekah’s kindness, although truly her own, was just as absolutely the grace of God moving her in direct reply to Eliezer's prayer! So we cooperate with the LORD. But to cooperate so fully and quickly, we must be COMMITTED to listen and hear and obey His gentle Voice within our heart, in each moment. This too is grace, and with every "single act of service," our candles burn a little brighter, until that moment when the Bridegroom Himself calls us to Him.)
(One last vital reminder... none of this is possible without faith. Rebekah was of Abraham’s blood; she was NOT a foreigner, nor an idolatress. The Shemites still knew the True God, however dimly, and therefore Rebekah was CAPABLE of being "qualified" as a bride to Isaac, the man to whom the holy Messianic Promise was given! If she did not have faith in that same God, she wouldn't be eligible to share in His Promise... and honestly, without the true faith, she also probably wouldn't have been able to act with such charity, because that's the SPIRIT’S work!! So from beginning to end, our salvation is BASED ON FAITH. Even our good works spring from that sole source, if they are to be truly virtuous, and not just self-promoting. FAITH is the essential and indispensable ingredient to making anything holy and acceptable to God. So pray for an increase of faith, every day... and, paradoxically, have faith that you will receive it. Let go, and let it in. God often works in loops; our surrender is what opens the flow. Cherish your mustard seed, and watch it grow. When we ask from Him with expectation, we will receive with gracious abundance– God, too, is like Rebekah.)
(The Liturgy of the Hours attests to this =
"Lord God, living Light of eternal Love, grant that, always aglow with charity, we may love You above all else, and our brethren for Your sake, with one and the selfsame love. Through Christ our Lord."
All Love begins with God. Our love for each other is only whole & complete & true when it is anchored in, and overflows from, our love for God.)


⭐"What energy Rebekah had! After filling many buckets of water, she then ran home to tell her household what had taken place."
(Rebekah’s energy came from CHARITY. She has a heart that delights in doing good, in being hospitable and obedient, in making sacrifices for the benefit of others. Even if her body was tired, her spirit was not. Isaiah 40:31!)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hosea/12-4.htm

⭐‼️‼️‼️ "[Jacob] prevailed: got the victory, went out of the field a conqueror, but not by such arms and methods as you [his unfaithful descendants] use. You are conquered by man because of your sins, he conquered with God by faith and prayer."
(Is THAT how Jacob "prevailed over men" too?? By keeping himself from sin, as much as he sincerely could, he thereby "stayed close to God," and GOD worked in and through other men for Jacob to prevail over them?? It's GOD'S Power that prevails in ALL cases, after all, even in the wrestle that earned Jacob his new name! By his persevering faith and prayer he "wages war" against the sin of idolatry that conquered his descendants. And because he stays loyal to the LORD, his God will conquer kings and nations for and through him. It's always God, doing everything, either directly or indirectly. When Israel as a nation turned away from God, sinning and worshipping idols, they cut themselves off from His Power and Protection, breaching the Covenant and losing their own blessings. Left helpless by their own isolation, they were effectively doomed to be overcome by their enemies; they had no power of their own, but their pride refused to admit or accept this. Even so, they cannot prevail or obtain victory, because their very "weapons" are doomed to fail– they are relying on violence and deception, betraying others for gain just as Jacob did in his youth; did they think they could escape the same consequences? No; God will humble them, punishing them, bringing them ultimately to that place of broken empty desperation where they will finally cry out to Him with contrite tears, and through thus being conquered by God, learn what it truly means to conquer with Him.)

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "We know he prayed with tears, though the story say not so, with sense of his own unworthiness, with earnestness for the mercy he desired, and apprehensive of the majesty of Him with Whom he wrestled. But you [unfaithful Israel], quite contrary, proud as IF worthy, regardless of the best part of the blessing, and earnest only for the meaner part, seek it not of God, but idols."

⭐"where God appeared to Jacob He commanded him to build an altar there to God, to restore religion and reform his family from idolatry, which he did..."
(It is so important to concretely recognize and remember the places where God has "appeared" to US. We cannot just leave them in mere personal memory. It is irreverent to treat as "common" a place where God touched our very soul. I'm serious. If God spoke to you and changed your life trajectory while you were standing in the kitchen, that kitchen is now holy, in its own private and small yet seriously real and legitimate way. So what do you do? You "build an altar." You REMEMBER God's "visit" there, and you offer worship there. Even if you just put up a crucifix and candle, or hang a picture of the Sacred Heart, or bless the spot with holy water daily. Do something to keep the reality of that encounter alive and actively PRESENT even now. I really feel this is important to do. God doesn't only come to us in church buildings. Sometimes He comes to us in profound moments within our own homes, or on the road, or in a store, or at an airport– God is not limited by space or time, and nothing can stop Him from reaching out to His children, whenever and wherever He chooses; especially not our own "criteria" as to where He "can" or "should" do so. God loves to subvert our expectations and overturn our proud rules anyway. The point is = the more watchful and open we are to God, the more we recognize and honor His actions even in the mundane, then the more receptive and aware we will be to His future works in our lives. By our faith, humility, and reverence, we ALLOW His grace to flourish ever more freely in all our life's experiences. But the "building an altar" is NOT "just for ourselves"!! God ORDERED Jacob to do it AS A TESTIMONY; as a WITNESS to the ONE TRUE GOD; by worshipping there, Jacob was SETTING AN EXAMPLE OF FAITH FOR HIS FAMILY TO FOLLOW. Jacob built an altar in a place where there WERE no altars: no places where God could be worshipped as He deserved, AND in the way He ordained. THAT'S what we do in church, AND in a "lesser way" in prayer. There is the "TRUE Altar" of the Eucharist where God LITERALLY MEETS US DAILY, and where we offer true worship, preserving true religion, and calling ALL the families of the earth away from idolatry through OUR testimony & witness & example as Christians. But then, going out from there, God still meets us in our daily wildernesses too; God comes to us in dreams and in angels, in places where we would never expect Him, in ways we don't recognize until later. Those encounters still deserve to be places of "worship," even if the only "altar" there is our faithful heart. Just don't forget where you met God. If you can concretely signify it, do so. Witness to Him. When you make a tangible testimony like that, it can speak to hearts who have little care for the Intangible. It can plant seeds of belief simply by existing, a visual echo of your faith, an unexpected yet present light in the darkness of the secular world. God wants to fill this lost land with holy places, I think, but we need to cooperate in the endeavor. We need to have our hearts and minds and lives open TO meeting Him, first... and open to being changed forever when we do.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️💜💜 "Jacob... wept not on account of the angel's touching his thigh, and the pain that might put him to; for he was of a more heroic spirit than to weep for that, who had endured so much hardship in Laban's service, in heat and cold; and besides, notwithstanding this, he kept wrestling with Him, and afterwards walked, though haltingly: but he wept either because he could not get out the Name of the Person he wrestled with; or rather the tears he shed were for the blessing he sought of Him; for it is joined with his making supplication, and is expressive of the humble yet ardent, affectionate, fervent, and importunate request he made to obtain it..."
(Man I actually didn't think about how much that would've HURT! And yet, yes, Jacob didn't quit, and he surely did walk! How did he gain such stamina and fortitude? THROUGH HARDSHIP. God effectively PREPARED him for THIS encounter ALL THE WHILE he was with Laban! Let this encourage you. I, too, sincerely want a "heroic spirit," but I am so ashamedly aware of my weakness & cowardice. But I pray, and must keep praying for it. Yet I must then realize that God will do for me what He did for Jacob– to develop a heroic spirit in me, GOD WILL SEND ME HARDSHIP! That's the s school, that's the forge, that's the arena in which virtue is learned and won and refined! So Jacob's tears were also purified. He did not weep for anything "selfish," even his own suffering. He had set his heart on God, and on his family, and included himself only inasmuch as God had, in making the Promise to him. Jacob was, at last, not in this for himself. This only came through years of humbling hardships, through the fires of trials that burned away his pride, and the patience born of love that wore down his ego into dust. You cannot be a hero if you are only serving yourself. A hero lives for the people. A hero is defined by his servant heart. A hero is one who puts himself in danger to protect others. A hero is, truly, empowered by love. That's why Jacob did not cry from his pain, and kept striving for the blessing– his pain was not his focus, nor would he let it detract from his essential attention. It was simply another hardship to endure and conquer, another potential power source for his virtues. He held tight to God despite it, not complaining nor seeking relief, thereby proving the sincerity and strength of his faith, and his determination to his holy cause. A heroic spirit does not dwell on injury; the truest hero is Christ, Who embraced His every agony as an additional means of salvation for others. If we can join ours with His, and think those same thoughts with Him, we will indeed become heroic by His Spirit, and like Jacob, we too will conquer by perseverance in faith and, blessed in our very brokenness, walk onwards to the Promised Land. No matter how much pain we must endure in our earthly pilgrimage, we can trust in God’s preparatory Plans for us, knowing that in Him, even our weaknesses are made into strengths, for they are the places where His Power moves through us. So let Him bring out your weaknesses, so that He can grow His virtues in your humbled heart. Accept and embrace your daily cross, for its weight is the source and sanctification of all our hardships, and by its grace and power God molds us into the likeness of His Son, Who is the one and only Hero of us all. Christ's tears were not for Himself, even in His pain. They were for us... for how much He loves us. When we are so motivated by Charity, then we will know we have a heroic spirit, His Spirit, and we can persevere through every pain, for love endures all things, and never fails.)
(The idea of weeping because he "couldn't get God's Name" is intriguing. I don't want to label it as mere frustration. Rather, Jacob was seeking a blessing from HIS God, from the God Who made the Promise to him, and to Whom he was praying. Maybe he desperately wanted to call Him BY Name at last, with this desperate need. Maybe it was just that ache to be closer to God, to know Him better, and this gentle refusal of higher Knowledge, although not meant for him, still ached with yearning and brought him to tears? ESPECIALLY since God has just asked HIM for his name, AND renamed him!! Jacob, now Israel, may have pleaded for the reciprocal reply in a rush of pious emotion, "recognizing" the angel as more than an angel and desperate for that confirmation that yes, this was God, the true God that he prayed to and Who had answered him– his tears were a sign of love, which was denied a request of information only to deepen the desire to know Him personally, and to seek to encounter Him again. Such tears would be immensely holy.)
(Jacob's tears were "joined with his supplication"; the two were one unit; the tears were an intrinsic part of the prayer. I also love the description= 1. it was "humble yet ardent." Honestly, only humility CAN be ardent. Pride can "put up a show" of passion, but those flames die quickly. Humility burns with its own internal stores, with the oil of grace, and it is ever renewed by the Spirit, as a humble soul gives Him its whole heart to fill. Pride is too full of itself, and its emotional outcries quickly fizzle out in frustration; Pride has no capacity for patience. Ardor is the special gift of a heart that is focused not on itself, but on another, in love. I think that is beautifully important to realize here: Jacob loved God, in order to pray like this. 2. he was affectionate! He spoke "as a friend" to God, even while feeling his unworthiness; one would not speak to an idol in such personal language; they do not care! Jacob also spoke tenderly of his family, reflecting God's Own merciful Heart.
3. He was fervent
4. He was importunate. This one is so important for me to remember, personally. As a woman I've been "conditioned" to be terrified of "being a bother" to people.


⭐"Jacob's position at birth symbolized the pre-eminence which God's electing Love had in store for him"
("The first act of grace is already a pledge of more," from yesterday. Do we think of God's acts in our lives that way?)


"he put forth such earnestness and energy to obtain the blessing, so Israel, by the example of their forefather, are encouraged to like strenuous exertion with like certainty of success... the weapons used, or the means employed, namely, weeping and supplication, in a word, the instrumentality of prayer; and the true way of prevailing with God, which is real humility and sincere supplication, not stiff, necked and defiant resistance to the Divine will and word, like that of Israel at the period in question."

"For the wrestling was that which he engaged in with the angel, holding him by prayers that he might bless him, not by the strength of work. If any one weeps and exercises penitence, and supplicates the Lord, he shall find Him in the grief of his heart, and when he has invoked Him, he shall hear Him answering." 



------‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

080825

Aug. 8th, 2025 08:56 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
Last day of mom's vacation
I CANNOT WAIT to get back to days centered around PRAYER

EARLY EBT DEPOSIT so we got all our groceries already!
Also quarters for laundry

THEY TOOK LIKE 9 VIALS OF BLOOD?????
We didn't pass out thank God. Just very tingly. Our blood pressure is chronically low anyway

Laurie keeps getting "functions shoved onto her" because she's closest to the Cores. This is messing her up bad
We think Purple's function CHANGED post-CNC??? That would explain a lot of why she's so unstable there

Deeply disappointed and disillusioned with the movies
Angry tears of frustration with the unChristian behavior & injustice & secular humanism in the films

Scalpel & Mimic being attacked in headspace??
Chaos 0 showed up & saved them

------‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hosea/12-4.htm continues

⭐⭐⭐‼️ "Moses [the author of Genesis] relates [Jacob's] words of earnest supplication; yet the tone is that of one, by force of earnest energy, wresting, as it were, the blessing from God, not of one weeping. Yet Hosea adds this, in harmony with Moses. For "vehement desires and earnest petitions frequently issue in tears." "To implore means to ask with tears"."
(This means so much to me. This is 100% TRUE for me. When my prayers are truly earnest, they WILL bring me to equally earnest tears. It's often the only time I CAN cry, especially in my recent past when I struggled daily with numbing addictive sin. Prayers alone could make me feel again.)
(You cannot "wrest"  blessing from God with anything BUT tears. Force of physical energy is of no avail for God is Spirit. Even for Jacob, that energy alone wouldn't have won him any sort of victory. God GAVE him that strength, remember, and our Omnipotent God isn't impressed by our mortal muscles or vigor or stamina in a fight. God is only amazed by our FAITH– or lack thereof– as Jesus was in the Gospels. Jacob HAD faith, but faith is PROVED by WORKS. What sort of works? Well, his prayers do count! And so does his wrestling, as it was done IN faith, not as a mere brawl or display of proud power. Jacob wrestled for a purpose: he wanted to be blessed. And THAT'S where the tears come from. He was DESPERATE. He was ABOUT TO DIE. He was SCARED. And he was SORRY. The weight of his situation, and the weight of his past, had combined in the heavy blackness of night and were crushing him. Jacob had no hope but God. Of course he wept. YOU CANNOT CRY UNLESS YOU ARE HUMBLED. And he was, pushed right down into the dusty riverbed with the burden he carried. He felt his ultimate helplessness, the utter futility of his previous scheming strategies. He had nowhere to turn except to the LORD. His entire life– AND the life of the Jewish nation – hung in the balance. How could this incredible need not move him to shed vehement tears in prayer, even as prayer? He wasn't just "asking" or "requesting." He was BEGGING, effectively. And guess what? The etymology of "implore" is from "plorare", meaning "to weep, cry out"– to implore is literally to "plead tearfully, invoke with weeping"; to "call on for help" even through sobs. God listens closely to such tearful prayers because they come from the very depths of our hearts, and are naturally guileless. How could God's Own Heart not feel as if its blessings were being "wrested" from It, by such a wrenching sight and sound? How could He not be conquered by His Own compassion, in rushing to respond to that pitiful petition? God's Love resonates in harmony with our faithful lamentations; our prayers offered in bitter mourning move Him to soothe our souls with His quiet sweetness. God gives hope and joy and so many graces in the most mysterious and powerful ways when we steadfastly trust Him and cling to Him in our dark and blue and heavy emotions. You know how much of a "fight" it is in your own psyche, just to stay afloat in those tumultuous waters of the soul. Jacob experienced the same. This was the inner wrestling to which the outer wrestling botj signaled and was empowered by. He could not have striven so earnestly for the blessing, without that driving force of imperative and anguished hope spilling over from within, filling both his words and his eyes.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️""Jacob, learning, that God Himself thus deigned to deal [so shockingly personally] with him [even now, just as He had in making His Promises to Jacob], might well out of amazement and wonder [at the Real Nearness of Divinity], out of awful respect to Him [for both His Power, and His Mercy in coming to him], and in earnest desire of a blessing [remembering God's constant gracious faithfulness], pour out his supplication with tears."
(The first shocking thing we learn of God's grace in our prayer is that God Himself "deigns to deal with us" personally and even intimately. He "stoops down to hear us." He "reaches out" to us. He speaks to us as "OUR God." He is never distant, He is never disconnected from us; He yearns to draw (and to "be drawn") ever closer to us. For Jacob to suddenly realize God was right next to him there at the river, must have been just as shocking from a proximity standpoint as it was from instinctive "holy fear". No other "god" EVER "came near" to humanity like this! God's Covenant Promises alone were revolutionary enough from a religious standpoint of that time; but now God was practically incarnate (foreshadowing fully intended)— He was "WITH" Jacob, in a unique and immediate way, just as He had been with Abraham! This is the MOST amazing and wonderful thing, even now, for us. God's gracious condescension alone should touch the heart with trembling tears, not in terror, but in ineffable wonder, at the magnificent mercy of God Who DOES this sort of thing, because of WHO HE IS. That's where our "awe-ful respect" is rooted as well: GOD IS GOD. THIS IS DIVINE MAJESTY WE'RE DEALING WITH. The very same Deity Who speaks such sweet blessings to us is also the One Who can incinerate us sinners in an instant, should He so choose. Our God made the whole universe and He can annihilate it just as well. He knows everything, controls everything, sustains everything, loves everything, judges everything. And here He is, wearing an angelic facade, wrestling with a mortal man, and all for that man's benefitbecause his benefit is part of God's Plan. God's Plan is to BLESS THE WHOLE WORLD IN CHRIST, remember. He has Promised the seeds and growth and protection of that blessing to Abraham’s lineage. He is there with Jacob now to confirm that truth. Jacob did not know the ultimate intention or outcome, for sure– but I think he did realize that God wanted to help him, and was actually literally right there TO do so, somehow. Put yourself in his place: facing death, powerless but for prayer, with no hope but a Promise... and THEN God ACTUALLY SHOWS UP, to test your sincerity of faith, to give you the opportunity to merit the blessing, when you had previously only stolen such things. How good and terrible and merciful and just a God Jacob had! How could he NOT cry? All that glory, all that mystery, all that grace, had listened and answered and CARED. Jacob fully felt the numinous gravity of this encounter, I'm sure, and a soul so keenly aware of its precious and precarious position before the LORD will absolutely weep from the weight of it, in any case. But even moreso, Jacob wept IN PRAYER. His tears and his faith were fused. THAT is where he had true power with God: in prayers charged with his wonder & respect & hope, which kept his heart from closing. God's very Presence enabled Jacob to weep, I'm sure. No heart can remain unmoved before Him Who shatters the mountains. This too is a grace.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Herein Jacob became an image of Christ, "Who, in the days of His flesh, offered up [specific & urgent] prayers and supplications, with strong crying and tears [loud and fervent pleading], unto the One Who was [always] able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His reverent submission [godly fear]." (Hebrews 5:7)"
("JESUS WEPT" A LOT MORE THAN ONCE IN THE GOSPELS, but it's always overlooked. Why? Because His tears are sacred and private, shed intimately with His God and Father alone. Tears are offerings, really. Our godly sorrow is a sacrifice He is very pleased to accept.)
(Jesus was heard because He was completely humble and entirely submitted to God's Will. Jesus trusted His Father unconditionally and unwaveringly. Jesus had a true and pious "fear of God" that honored and adored Deity, and that crushed all human ego and self-will. His prayers were pure and sincere, childlike and unpretentious, and apparently often accompanied by sobbing aloud. This is strongly noteworthy. This is our Savior, described here! His personal prayers weren't in the manner of the quietly kind blessings He offered over meals, or the composed corporate worship at Synagogue. When Jesus "went off alone to pray," He apparently poured out His entire Heart with weeping. )


⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "[Saying], 'he prevailed,' subjoining, 'he wept and made supplication,' describes the strength of penitents, for in truth they are strong BY weeping earnestly and praying perseveringly for the forgiveness of sins, according to that, "From the days of John the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force." Whosoever so imitates the patriarch Jacob... he, of whatever nation he be, is truly Jacob, and deserveth to be called Israel." "Yea, herein is the unconquerable might of the righteous... herein his glorious victories, in glowing longings, assiduous prayers, joyous weeping..."


⭐⭐❤ "He found him in Bethel - This may mean either that "God found Jacob," or that "Jacob found God;" which are indeed one and the same thing, since we find God, when He has first found us."


‼️‼️‼️ "In Bethel, where God found Jacob, Israel deserted ["lost"] Him, setting up the worship of the calves; yea, he deserted God the more there, because of God's mercy to his forefather, desecrating to false worship the place which had been consecrated by the revelation of the true God; and choosing it the rather, because it had been so consecrated!"


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ ""And there He spake with US" - For what God said to Jacob, He said not to Jacob only, nor for Jacob's sake alone, but, IN him, He spake to all his posterity, both the children of his body AND the children of his faith."
(THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SAY WE CAN "APPROPRIATE" GOD'S ANCIENT PROMISES TO OUR OWN PERSONAL LIVES???? IT'S BECAUSE GOD HIMSELF ALREADY INCLUDED US IN THE INITIAL GIVING, AS "SPIRITUAL ISRAEL"??? God speaks BEYOND TIME and BEYOND LIMITS of individual existence? God doesn't see ANY humans as separate from one another?? To Him, right in that very moment, JACOB WAS ALREADY ISRAEL– God speaks the "prophetic present tense"; whatever God Promises "will be", even now "IS" in ultimate Truth, even if it hasn't "been manifested in linear time" yet. But in our sempiternal God, that Promise HAS "already happened," in His Invincible Will. SO when He promised things to our ancestors, WE WERE INCLUDED by virtue OF our ancestry. That's immense. That's a life altering perspective shift. We don't have that sort of mindset in America and I think we NEED it, for the sake of our souls, and for the wholeness & truth of our faith at large. We are more connected in God, to God, to each other, IN each other, than we've ever dared to dream before. Suddenly the "Golden Rule" makes a staggering amount of sense!)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Thus it is said, "There did WE rejoice in Him" (Psalm 66) i. e., we, their posterity, rejoiced in God THERE, where He so delivered our forefathers; and, "Levi also, who receiveth tithes, paid tithes in Abraham, for he was yet in the loins of his father, when Melchizedek met him" (Hebrews 7:9-10). And Paul saith, that what was said to Abraham, ""therefore [his faith] was imputed to him for righteousness,"" was not written for his sake alone, but for us also, to whom [righteousness] shall be imputed, if we believe on Him that raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead" (Romans 4:23-24)... What God there spoke to Jacob appertains to us. God's Promises to him belong to all his posterity who follow in the steps of his prayerful faith."
(Anyone who denies the power of the Eucharist to "make the Last Supper & Atonement PRESENT NOW" needs to read this. Apparently that is just how God ALWAYS works. He transcends time, while embracing it. He IS the "eternal now," for He exists always and at all times, and when we encounter Him in His Sacraments we inevitably "encounter" all of the "past" that He brings with and fulfills in Himself? That's the Divine side of this connection beyond historical limitations. The human side is the result of "spiritual lineage"? Again, this ties right in to the "past as present" power of the Eucharist, as well as with how the Jewish people celebrate Passover even now = "Each of these actions not only adds a different flavor to the holiday, but provides a different way to put ourselves in the shoes of our ancestors. Indeed, the directive to retell and relive the Passover story is one of the central commandments of the holiday. This mandate not only calls us to experience the Exodus as individuals, but to recognize that all Jews, no matter where they are, share a stake in the Jewish story. We can’t see ourselves as having gone out from Egypt without seeing our fellow Jews walking next to us." (https://rac.org/blog/reliving-exodus-wherever-you-are) The original Exodus not only "happened TO" today's Israel "in spirit," in the "ancestral womb" as it were, but all of Israel today also consciously re-enters that timespace through ritual and Sacrament and prayer and FAITH. The reality of "Then" is our reality of "NOW" both directly by choice (like how Paul speaks of it), and indirectly by birth (as in the Psalm). It's amazingly beautiful.)
(BUT BOTH of these are founded on FAITH!! God's Promises and Wonders of old obviously cannot be "shared in" if one doesn't share the belief of Israel in the God Who made them His Own. Without that trust in Him, without belonging to the God of our Fathers in faith, a person disowns their truest Family, and isolates themselves from the spiritual nation. You cannot relive the story of deliverance if you run back to Egypt.)

⭐⭐⭐❓❓❓"There God spake with US, how, in our needs, we should seek and find Him... God is sought and found= in loneliness, apart from distractions, in faith, rising in proportion to our tears, in persevering prayer, in earnestness, which "clings so fast to God, that if God would cast us into Hell, He should, as one said Himself, "go with us, so should Hell not be Hell to us."""
(I NEED TO HEAVILY MEDITATE ON THIS. The punctuation is very confusing but STILL, the message is MASSIVE.)


UNEXPECTED MIND-BLOWING COMMENTARY ON HEBREWS 7:9=
⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ ""...through Abraham even Levi, he who receives tithes, has paid tithes,” the explanation being… “for he [Levi] was yet in the loins of his father [Abraham] when Melchizedek met him,” Isaac not yet having been begotten. There was a tendency in Jewish theology to view heredity in this realistic manner. Thus [says] Ramban on Genesis 5:2= “God calls the first human pair Adam [man] because all men were in them, potentially or virtually”. And so some of the Rabbis argued, "By the same sin that the first man sinned, the whole world sinned, because this [first man] WAS the whole world.” Hence Augustine’s formula “sinned in Adam’s loins,” and his explanation= “For we all were IN that one man, since we all WERE that one man, who fell into sin by the woman who was made from him before the sin. For not yet was the particular form created and distributed to us, in which we as individuals were to live, but already the seminal nature was there from which we were to be propagated; and THIS being vitiated by sin, and bound by the chain of death, and justly condemned, man could not be born of man in any other state."


THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH OF BIBLICAL THOUGHT =

"As traducianism began to dominate thought in the Western church, St. Thomas Aquinas reaffirmed the Catholic church’s position on creationism [at that time]: at conception the sperm, which contains sensitive and and intellectual matter (a soul) into the ovum, which was the nutritive matter that makes up the fetus. Intellectual souls then, as Aquinas states, are created simultaneously with the body. Tertullian, on the other hand, promoted traducianism. Traducianism, is the [ultimately heretical] belief that all humans stem from Adam, and as such, all humans inherit not only the flesh of the original man, but the soul and sin of the original man as well. Traducianism affirms that when God created everything, God also created souls and the ability of man to procreate and thus insert souls at conception. Martin Luther follows in the 1500’s and falls on the side of traducianism, affirming that the soul comes from one’s father."

⭐⭐⭐ "The process of spiritual generation is impossible; since the soul is immaterial and indivisible, no spiritual germ can be detached from the Parental soul."


https://digitalcommons.denison.edu/religion/vol13/iss1/2/
https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/15014a.htm

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://mailchi.mp/97c2af69b583/2024-8602014?e=fae62674c2

"Think of the things God needed to make Saint Mary Mackillop a blessing to the world: her grit, her patience, her perseverance, her compassion for people in challenging circumstances; it all came from the struggles she had as a kid. When we remember our hard times, we often feel abandoned, as if those times fell outside of the providence of God. Maybe those are precisely the times God was forming you into the blessing you are in this world. Romans 8:28 tells us that “God works all things together for the good of those who love Him.” Even…and…dare I say…especially…the tough times."


080725

Aug. 7th, 2025 08:55 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

CHAOS ZERO DREAM 💙💚💙💚
Robotnik was confronting him again?  I think he was saying something like "you'll always be defined by your past; no one will ever trust you or love you because of it; that will define you forever." Etc. He specifically implied me somehow, because I was standing nearby.
Chaos just glared at him and I KID YOU NOT his response was, "We're married."
Then, at Robotnik's incredulous look, Chaos added, "We have a child."
Chaos did get violently angry at some point and started to choke Robotnik?  And I remember just calling out his name, Sternly but with so much love in it. He stopped and turned around and looked at me with this incredible expression–  Shocked and chastened and yet deeply moved.
I said something like, If I'm going to be put into the wife position then here, Let me act like they do in the movies, and Be the one reminding you of who you truly are.
And I walked over and I placed my hand right next to his Ruby.

Corpus Christi morning!
Beautiful altar space

Nutritionist Vidcall with Baby
We might have "mast cell syndrome"???

THRIFT STORE HAUL (AS A SYSTEM)!! We were TALKING WITH EACH OTHER THE WHOLE TIME so we DIDN'T GET LOST OR DISSOCIATE, and since NO somafoni could get in, we didn't buy anything stupid!
NEVERTHELESS, between yesterday & today... we spent $80. That's INSANE. We've NEVER spent that much on clothing before! BUT it was WORTH IT because we FINALLY have clothing TO wear on occasions that require a certain dress code = WE GOT THREE CHURCH OUTFITS, TWO BEAUTIFUL CHURCH DRESSES, TWO WHITE SHORTS & TWO TANK TOPS FOR HOME... and, by Divine Providence, a TEAL SILK TANK TOP FOR SLEEPWEAR. It is next to impossible to find silk tanks but they're the only things we can properly sleep in. God has provided! And it was ONLY $5. So we are FINALLY SET for everything! We've been wearing the same outfit for a SOLID MONTH because we didn't have anything else. Texture/ sensory issues make it so hard to buy clothes so our absolutely astounding "luck" of today's haul was a legit blessing from God.
BTW there was also a teal tank top with black tentacles on it and dude I wanted it so bad but it didn't fit proper. Plus, sadly, that visual motif has become too strongly associated with "eldritch" nonsense. Bro I just love cephalopods okay

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trying to finish the Hosea 12:4 commentary page so we can FINALLY get into the CATENA commentary on Jacob & Esau, and then finally get back to 2nd Corinthians!!

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hosea/12-4.htm

⭐‼️ "Jacob’s supplication and tears, here mentioned, probably refer to those earnest prayers which he poured out to God, as is recorded Genesis 32:9-11. The conflict here spoken of, in which Jacob had power with God, ended in an assurance that his prayers were answered."
(Jacob was assured because he had FAITH to begin with– faith in GOD'S PROMISES & TRUSTWORTHINESS. It is indeed possible to pray & plead & beg God for something, but deep down, to be so afraid that He will refuse to help, that you CANNOT feel any sense of assurance in your prayers. This doubt is what prevented Christ from performing miracles!! He HIMSELF spoke MANY TIMES against this spiritually deadly and tragic tendency = "whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours... Ask, and it shall be given to you... whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Evidently, being assured of God's answer to our prayers is SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL, because our prayers are SUPPOSED TO BE SATURATED WITH FAITH IN GOD, to Whom we are praying to begin with!! We wouldn't BE praying if we didn't already have SOME trust & hope!! Just don't let doubt & fear & the lies of this fallen & cruel world choke out those beautiful flowers.)
(Once again, going into this study blind, I did not know that he specifically prayed BEFORE the wrestling began. And what's super notable about that is what the commentary on that verse says=)

⭐⭐‼️‼️"Jacob’s prayer, the first recorded in the Bible, is remarkable for combining great earnestness with simplicity."
(HOW does THIS prayer fit that criteria, when ABRAHAM'S SERVANT (Genesis 24:12) is actually the first person recorded as "reaching out TO God first" instead of God initiating communication? Honestly, prior to him, EVERY recorded instance of such dialogue was started by God Himself, either through visions or a voice, or through angels. But no one in Scripture "calls out first" until this poor and simple servant, sent to find the wife of Isaac, divinely destined for the first marriage consummated within the Messianic Covenant. This humble man was on a mission that would literally change history. He was the "angel" sent for the Promise and heralding a whole new lineage of man, of a whole new nation and people, of the perfect and perpetual plan of his master's God– and he had no idea. Man I think I actually want to study Genesis chapter 24 next; there is DEPTH here i never noticed before. In any case, Jacob’s prayer must count as the first COVENANT LINEAGE prayer recorded in Scripture? And it's not just "inquiring of God" like his mother did while pregnant. Nor is it actually comparable to Abraham’s servant's situation, because HE was only asking for a sign of divine will! No one in Scripture is recorded as PLEADING WITH GOD UNTIL NOW in Genesis 32. That's a fascinating detail and I am SURE it carries immense importance.)
(Why is "combining earnestness with simplicity" so "remarkable?" Is that not expected? Building off the dictionary definition of "earnest", Jacob is praying a "seriously important" prayer, one with great importance and firmness of purpose; he is giving it serious and zealous attention, and putting in all his vigor & effort... his intentions are solemn yet fervent, and his feelings are fully engaged in depth and sincerity. This is earnest prayer: the Etymological roots actually come from "COMBAT/ STRUGGLE", as well as "to set in motion"!! Jacob IS "wrestling" even just in his ardent spirit– and the "motion" implies that, as Jacob has actively involved his whole self in this prayer, the earnestly listening God is also moved. But as for the initial question: "despite" this intense devotion of exertion, the prayer he offers is not complex; it is not a litany, it is not a monologue, it is not an outpouring of every ache that his effort has unearthed. No, that prayer possibly comes with the physical wrestling (it sure does for me). But here he is no less earnest, and yet, the prayer is concise, precise, and direct; innocent, upright, and frank. He "simply" pleads and praises. He pleads the Promise, praises God for His prior faithfulness to it, and pleads for mercy in His continuing to do so for him and his family. That's it. The WHOLE PRAYER is BUILT UPON THE PROMISE. It is simple because it is PURE; there is NO EGO IN IT. For Jacob to be so zealously earnest without any admixture of passion is indeed remarkable, and attests to the genuineness of his faith.)


⭐ "After addressing God as the Elohim of his fathers, he draws closer to Him as the God who had personally commanded him to return to his birthplace."
(I love this "one step further" bit, because God invited it. Jacob had been commanded by God AS "his father’s God," by God personally reaching out to him, "drawing close" in a dream, calling Jacob into a new awareness of His Presence. But now, Jacob is effectively responding on his own, by echoing God's approach: Jacob personally reaches out to God in prayer, allowing for "drawing close" in the night encounter, where he is then called into a new purpose. But it begins by Jacob’s "step forwards"; he opens the door through prayer to the hope of God now becoming HIS God– which was actually his OWN promise, made at Bethel, to ONLY be fulfilled once he crosses the Jabbok! So God OF COURSE is going to fulfill that for him, in harmony with His calling! But my core point on the commentary is= We inherit our faith, "inherit God," from our parents and teachers and pastors. We learn about Him, about what He has done that proves Who He Is. But... we don't know Him for ourselves, yet, and so we cannot call Him "ours" until we do. It's like marriage, no surprise. Jacob acknowledges his holy inheritance, and presents it as a truth he accepts and embraces. But he doesn't leave it at that distance. He then speaks to God on a personal level. God called and commanded and promised JACOB, directly, not just in ways "handed down" from his ancestors. Jacob appeals to THAT, and so i feel he is subtly saying, "are You not therefore already my God?" He finally moves quietly into that space. "Help me survive this, so we can both prove constant in our promises to each other." This is an earnest prayer because it is finally built on personal relationship, even just the beginnings of it. We can only get close by getting personal. The two are linked.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "...While acknowledging his own unworthiness, he shows that he HAD ALREADY been the recipient of the Divine favour, and [IN that combined space he] prays earnestly for deliverance, [for both himself AND his family]. Jacob's mind does not rest upon his own death [as he prays], but upon the terrible picture of the mothers, trying with all a mother’s love to protect her offspring, and slain upon their bodies. [The prophets present this as] the most cruel and pitiable of the miseries of war. But finally Jacob feels that this sad end is impossible; for he has God’s PROMISE that his seed shall be numerous as the sand of the sea."
(We ALL can realize what Jacob did= we are ALL unworthy of God's grace, and yet He has ALREADY soaked us in it since conception. THIS is the foundation of ALL our hope= that God already loves us.
(HIS PRAYER WAS PURE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FOCUS ON HIMSELF. HE FOCUSED ON THE PROMISE OF GOD– WHICH NECESSARILY INCLUDED HIS DESCENDANTS!! Jacob wanted to be delivered from death for THEIR sake= he saw them all in UNITY with himself and his future; NOT as mere "accessories to destiny" but as BELOVED INDIVIDUALS. He cares about them AS PEOPLE, with COMPASSION. This is evident by the fact that he specifically mentions them in his prayer to God. He would not have done so if they were not genuinely dear to his heart. This selfless love ALSO mirrors God, and may have "given further weight" to Jacob’s request for deliverance, so to speak; I believe that God cannot refuse a prayer given in and for TRUE love– which is love for God AND for man, inseparable– for He IS that very love within us, and has commanded us TO love in such a way.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️ "In [petitioning] man, it may be ungenerous to remind another of promises made and favours expected, but in prayer to God, each first act of grace and mercy is the PLEDGE of CONTINUED favour."
(This is honestly rewiring my brain. Again, GOD STARTS THE WHOLE PROCESS. Honestly that's ESSENTIAL and FOUNDATIONAL; man actually cannot start anything on his own! Everything MUST be enabled by GRACE and preceded by PROVIDENCE. If God doesn't will it, IT WON'T HAPPEN. So... God always acts first. This means that we cannot make God give us mercy or grace. We cannot earn or merit or deserve it anyway. GOD must CHOOSE to GIVE it FREELY... and He DOES. He does, ALL THE TIME. This is absolutely amazing. God's character and nature DOESN'T CHANGE, so if He IS "the kind of God" that lavishes love and compassion on His creatures, He will ALWAYS act like that regardless of "external circumstance". If God reaches out to us in gracious mercy, it's never a one-time thing. Remember, He ALREADY showers us with grace; our recognition and awareness of it doesn't interrupt or invalidate the process. God's not "doing so in secret". He's not trying to avoid attention. BUT, in that first blessed instance when we particularly and personally receive His Promise, and our life changes forever thereby– even if we only "received" it through reading it in Scripture, and realizing we were included in its eternal scope– that instant becomes special, a "pledge" that God's goodness towards us will and must continue. Of course it always would have– that's Who God Is– but He has lovingly and mercifully given you that pledge of a Promise, to assure your hope and steady your heart. And with every "new first" we discover or discern, God's graces are "renewed" in us, even "every morning". So how does this tie into prayer? Because unlike men, God actually loves to be "reminded" of His pledges & Promises. Why? Because He loves making them. God delights in generosity towards us. God enjoys bring kind and merciful. God "looks for excuses" to bless and forgive us! And when we remind Him of this, it shows that we TRUST Him TO be such a God! It actually demonstrates FAITH, and attention too– we wouldn't listen or care or remember or hope if we didn't TRUST Him, and BELIEVE Him... and that means He MATTERS to us. This is at the heart of all love, and love is the heart of all virtue= To become beloved, the other person first has to mean something to you. We all mean more to God than we can ever fathom. He demonstrates this by His unfailing, unending, unlimited grace. Our prayers prove that God means something to us. Prayer is communication, and that means relationship. Prayer cannot happen without trust. If we don't trust God to answer our prayers, or even hear them, then we don't have a close relationship with Him at all– we don't know Him yet. We must therefore pray more, to speak to Him more often and more openly. We must read Scripture more, to hear Him speak to us directly and constantly. God will pledge Himself to you in those verses, in the Promises His Son brings complete to you. Go to Mass; meet Him there. He also will pledge Himself to you there, in the Liturgy and the Sacraments. Do you see? ALL of these things are available and possible to you because God has already pledged continued grace and mercy, and will continue to do so. Do not be afraid to "remind Him of this" when you are afraid or in doubt, as long as you do so with the dogged hope that no matter how things seem, God IS Faithful and God IS Good. Remind Him, because in doing so you remind yourself, and prepare your heart to see that pledge proven. I think God loves to be "called to remember His Covenant" by believing souls, because the very imploring means we're thinking about Him in that context. He always remembers His Love for us that made that Covenant, don't worry. Our prayers just give Him special opportunities to prove it in personal ways. A wife tells her loving husband to "remember" that he "promised" to take her somewhere nice for her anniversary perhaps, but she fears it might not be possible, or that it's too good to be true, or that he didn't really mean it. Of course he meant it, and he already remembers, and he would never lie to her or promise what he cannot give. BUT in her worry she isn't able to truly realize this. So now that his wife has revealed the troubled thoughts of her heart, and her special hope in him, she has actually given him the chance to respond to her in a way that proves his faithfulness and kindness and care, thus deepening their relationship. Something like that. Except in Scripture the "bride" is Israel, specifically reminding God her husband, when she was in a situation of desperate danger and need, that He "promised He would help/save her." But here's the thing: a prayer is saying this to God with hope and trust in His character. Yet Israel also tragically repeats the promise in mocking disbelief during her exile: "You promised you would help/save us," while already denying its fulfillment. "I knew you weren't actually going to," she implies. Her statement is not a plea, but a condemnation. Incidentally this heartbreaking lack of faith & love is what made God so "angry" with Israel; her heart refused to commit to Him, because she kept turning to sensual idols, refusing to have heartfelt faith. But back to Jacob’s case specifically, a prayer "reminding God" ALSO isn't afraid to BEG– "please, I NEED you; you PROMISED to help!" There may be great fear, but never despair; the instant we lose that radical trust, the instant we doubt God's Goodness and Trustworthiness, we can't walk on the waves anymore, and we start to hear the serpent speak. Do not lose hope!)


⭐""He found him in Beth-el"— This refers to God’s appearing to Jacob after the former vision, when God renewed His Promise of giving the land of Canaan to his posterity."
(Notice how many times God RENEWS His Promises, all through Scripture, even without bring asked or reminded, purely on His OWN generous & gracious initiative! And "RENEW" is key, too. It doesn't mean "restate the details for clarity" or "say it again in case you forgot." God's Promises are COVENANTS. To "renew" them means He ACTIVELY RE-PLEDGES HIMSELF TO US, AS FAITHFUL. This is also marriage imagery. God cannot help but "renew His vows" as it were. He loves us that much.)

⭐‼️"The prophet takes particular notice of the place where God appeared to him: as if he had said, He appeared in that very place where you worship a golden calf as your god!"
(The calf never promised them anything. I'm sure God was emphasizing that. The calf couldn't earn their trust or hope or love. The calf didn't reach out first to call and bless and guide them. God appeared in its place, to reveal to them the TRUTH they were subconsciously seeking– the True God, the ONLY Creator, Protector, Provider, Lord, and Life.)

⭐⭐‼️""And there he spake with us"— Who were then in Jacob’s loins... signifying, that God did not only speak to him there, but likewise did, by so doing, instruct his posterity to the latest generation. Certainly the things spoken concerned Jacob’s posterity, as much, or more, than himself."
(This is amazing because it shows that hundreds of years prior, God KNEW his descendants, and spoke to them SPECIFICALLY through him. GOD WAS THINKING OF US, AND INCLUDING US, WHEN HE RENEWED THIS PROMISE– arguably, that's WHY He renewed it, because only NOW was Jacob made ISRAEL!! )
(This ALSO emphasizes the mysterious yet constant Scriptural theme of descendants being spiritually connected to ancestors, all the way back to Adam. No one ever exists in solitude or isolation or separation. Every single human being is part of a history stretching back thousands of years, and their lives STILL affect us NOW. That's a great mystery, and I am sure it is anchored in and only understandable in God.)

⭐⭐💜💜 "...the eternal and unchangeable God; Who CAN perform His Promise, and execute His threat; Who is a most terrible enemy, and a most desirable Friend."

‼️‼️‼️"[A sinner] feeds himself with vain hopes of help from man, when he is at enmity with God."
(No human can "guarantee" all his promises and claims. Besides, if you don't trust God to help you, don't act like Divine Providence is going to ignore that disposition. You reap what you sow. If you don't trust God's Goodness, then you walk yourself off from receiving it.)
(I also want to specifically emphasize "FEEDS himself," specifically with "vain hopes" of "help from man." His food is hope, his hope is in something perishable and fickle, he will starve spiritually; only God can nourish and satisfy our souls. I'm just so struck by the idea of FEEDING on such hopes, or more specifically, "being fed by" them: making those his meals of sustenance; LIVING by them.)

"Jacob's weeping is not mentioned by Moses. Hosea then knew more than Moses related."
(Prophetic revelation!!)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

080625

Aug. 6th, 2025 08:49 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

BABY IS THRILLED TO SEE ME

Clothes shopping
ANGEL SKIRT & ROSE DRESS

SKETCH AT 11AM
GRIEF PROCESSING

Got home EXACTLY on time, THANK YOU GOD ❤

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://drelisblog.com/the-last-shall-be-first
Finishing this today to get back on track

⭐"The text remains silent on why God prefers Abel’s offering, cloaking the decision in mystery and emphasizing divine prerogative."
(I want to emphasize this. God doesn't have to tell us why He does anything. In fact, He typically doesn't. We NEED to accept that with utmost humility– with awe and trembling, even. There will ALWAYS be mysteries far beyond our comprehension and even our awareness; there will ALWAYS be secrets we will never and cannot ever learn; there will ALWAYS be a great fathomless unknown that will remain unknown to us forever. We NEED to be okay with this, and stop madly striving to always "get it" or "figure it out" because we CAN'T. We AREN'T SUPPOSED TO. What are we supposed to do, then? Simple= we HAVE FAITH IN GOD. He alone knows and understands and comprehends everything because He's the ONLY ONE that NEEDS to. He's the only One in control. So... we have nothing to worry about. If He refuses to reveal something to us, we can trust in His reasoning. We can trust that we don't need to know what He has hidden from us and we can rest in that. God WILL tell us what we DO need to know... WHEN we need to know it. Remember that too– God isn't stingy with His Knowledge!! He's just WISE. Don't assume something IS "hidden from you forever" just because you don't know it now. What to do then? ASK GOD ABOUT IT. Let Him reveal the motives of your searching heart. God WILL tell you the most important WHY right now– WHY are you seeking the answers you currently are? Are your reasons egotistical, or relational? Are they curious, or pious? Ask God to give you THAT information first. Believe me, if you are seeking knowledge because you just want to know and love and serve Him better, He WILL give you EVERYTHING you need, "and more"; but remember– to know God is to LOVE Him. I guess that's what I've been trying to say this whole time. True Knowledge, true Answers, honestly every "mystery" and "secret" worth knowing, is found in loving God. He is the only infinite depth, and the only one worth diving into. Every other "unknown" thing will be meaningless to you if you only know God even a little. We don't have to know the "why" of His decisions in data; we don't need to break it down to the cold specifics. We just need to know His Heart. We just need the Holy Spirit to breathe quietly into us. Knowledge and Understanding are HIS GIFTS after all!! Scripture doesn't "tell us" why God does many things because God reveals those "why's" through His Son and His Spirit, through Love and Faith. God is Light, and if we are IN the Light, "nothing will be dark to us." This too is a mystery, paradoxically. But that's how God works. "Even the darkness is as the day to You." We don't need to hyperanalyze the text to "find our answer" here. God IS His Own Answer– and Christ IS His Word. Look to the Gospel, and pray. God will not hide the Truth from anyone, as long as they seek it in Him, for love of Him. If you "can't find it," you're either looking in the dark, or in the wrong places. Truth is the lamp on a lampstand, the city on the hill. Truth CANNOT be a secret or mystery. Take hope and courage in that. Whatever you "don't know," don't worry. Take it to God. ASK for wisdom and light and truth. He will never withhold those virtues from you, even if He does refuse to give you certain information. Learn the distinction. Accept your finitude and limitations and subservient position. But give utmost thanks for the privileges and promises and power given to you still, by grace. God doesn't have to tell us anything. But He calls us His friends. He calls us His children. Listen to Jesus. He will tell you what you need to know.)


‼️ "Cain’s jealousy festers into murderous rage, ending Abel’s life in a tragic clash not over inheritance but over God’s approval. Abel, the younger, is exalted in God’s eyes, while Cain’s status as firstborn proves irrelevant."
(God will never approve sin. Check your motives. If you're seeking "status" with God you're already on the wrong track. If you're trying to "compete" with other Christians then you don't understand God's Love at all. It's honestly so sad that in our fear-driven pride, we so often apparently assume that God’s favor is a finite and conditional "prize"= that we must "win" it by being "better than" someone else, that there's "not enough for us both"– and besides "they don't deserve it as much as I do". Cain somehow felt that he had "lost" here? That if God loved Abel, God couldn't love Cain too? Why this cruel division between ourselves? Why this limiting of God's compassion and mercy? Why this jealousy? Did Cain kill Abel because deep down he feared that one day God would just decide "I like him better; he's perfect; why would I need someone as inadequate as Cain at all"?
Etc.)


⭐ "...Jacob exploits Esau’s hunger, trading a bowl of red lentil stew for the birthright. Esau’s impulsive trade is compounded by his marriages to Hittite women, which distress Isaac and Rebekah, raising fears about his suitability to lead their covenant family. Although Jacob is not without faults, he later deceives Isaac to obtain the firstborn’s blessing, which represents a material blessing of prosperity and authority. Yet Isaac always intended the covenant blessing of Abraham— promising land and descendants— for Jacob, confirmed by God in Jacob’s dream of the heavenly stairway."

⭐‼️ "Unlike Esau’s shortsighted trade, Joseph’s perseverance aligns with divine providence, enabling him to save his family from famine."
(FOOD parallel. Joseph PERSISTS despite threats of death, holding on to FAITH. Esau could not trust that far ahead. Interesting that "perseverance" ALIGNS with Providence, and THAT is what enables him to cooperate with it= God often takes great time to do great things. Perseverance is fueled by Faith. Joseph couldn't do anything at first but he didn't give up waiting on God. His FAITH was the GATEWAY FOR GRACE that KEPT his efforts ALIGNED with Providence!!)

⭐‼️ "Aaron, the elder brother, is a skilled speaker, while Moses, the younger, doubts his eloquence, claiming, “I am slow of speech and tongue”. Humanly, Aaron seems better suited for leadership, yet God chooses Moses to lead Israel out of Egypt and receive the covenant at Sinai. God appoints Aaron as Moses’ mouthpiece... but Moses holds the primary role as God’s chosen deliverer. This reversal highlights God’s pattern of empowering the less favored or self-doubting to fulfill HIS Purposes, subverting expectations of seniority or natural ability."
(I personally and unfortunately give too much credence to "natural ability & self-confidence" as "criteria for success" even with God. I was raised that way and it's very hard to unlearn. But it's utterly foolish spiritually. The whole point of God choosing someone with NO education and NO aplomb to do HIS Work, is so that it's OBVIOUSLY HIS WORK. Human "disqualifiers" become divine "qualifiers". He transforms our weaknesses by His Strength... but He doesn't remove them. THAT'S A HEAVY FACT. God DIDN'T make Moses eloquent. Instead, God worked WITH Moses's impediment, to "humble the proud" and to make the Truth revealed THROUGH Moses all the more awesome.)
(For all we know, God may have specially needed someone "slow" and "unskilled" to speak His Words, rather than someone verbose in vocabulary and prone to pleonasm, like me. God is simple. Human chatter is humiliating in the wake of His Word, and His Divine Silence says infinitely more than all the mortal speech in history. Saint Paul speaks on this same point.)
(By the way! If you DON'T have a natural ability or quality, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?? "Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD?" Moses's "disability" WAS ON PURPOSE. So is yours. GOD HAS A REASON FOR IT. Pray about it, be grateful for it, and surrender in hopeful trust to however He wants to use it for His glory in your life.)


⭐⭐ "God selects [the people of] Israel not [based on] power [–which they lack–] but BECAUSE they are “the fewest of all peoples,” whom He loves, in order to fulfill His covenant with Abraham... Israel embodies the “last” made “first.” In the New Testament, Paul describes the Corinthian church as “not many wise, not many mighty", yet chosen TO shame the strong... these communities [manifest] God’s preference for the humble and unexpected... offering hope to those who feel insignificant."


⭐⭐⭐ "The motif of divine reversal finds its pinnacle in Jesus Christ. Born in humble Bethlehem, He is no worldly conqueror. Scorned and crucified, He is the “stone the builders rejected”, yet His resurrection makes Him the cornerstone of God’s kingdom. His life and death embody the “last” becoming “first,” echoing [and fulfilling] the Genesis pattern and offering salvation to all. [In] the Kingdom of Heaven... the least significant or latest may be exalted, while the prominent or earliest may be humbled."

"These narratives are not merely ancient family disputes but divine object lessons. Abel’s favor, Isaac’s election, Jacob’s blessing, Perez’s breach, Joseph’s exaltation, and Ephraim’s precedence all point to a recurring pattern—God delights in choosing the weak to shame the strong."

"God’s ways are not ours. He does not measure worth by birth order, human merit, or societal status. His choices are rooted in grace, His purposes in redemption. Whether in the impulsive folly of Esau, the patient endurance of Joseph, or the crossed hands of Jacob, we see that God writes His story through the unexpected.
The ultimate reversal is Christ— the despised and crucified Who became the exalted King. IN HIM, the last are made first, the humble are lifted, and the overlooked are called. Genesis invites us to trust a God who specializes in surprising reversals, turning human weakness into divine triumph. Hold fast to His Promises, for He IS faithful to fulfill them— often in ways we least expect."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hebrews/12-16.htm

⭐⭐⭐ "But why, pray, may not ["a place of repentance"]  equally well and naturally signify: “to gain room for a ΜΕΤΆΝΟΙΑ to unfold and assert itself,” as at Acts 25:16 signifies: “to obtain room for a [legal defense] to unfold and maintain itself,” or Romans 12:19 (comp. Ephesians 4:27): “to give room to the divine wrath to unfold itself and make itself felt”? ... the expression ΜΕΤΆΝΟΙΑ itself is unsuitable, inasmuch as “this word can surely only denote an inner emotion of the mind, but not the bare outward recalling of a measure or a verdict” or... “of human penitence"... Nevertheless there attaches likewise to the notion of the “change of mind,” as above insisted on as its primary requisite, the notion of a proceeding in the inner or spirit-life of the man; which, however, naturally does not exclude the accessory notion that this inner process has also as its necessary consequence an external action."


"subjectively: he found no place in his heart for the feeling of repentance"

"...in the Christian domain a repentance that is worthy of the name can never be too late, never ineffectual."

"repentance (penitence, amendment, i.e. for the return to the theocratic union by the laying aside of his unhallowed, frivolous character)"

"he repeatedly dwells on the hopelessness—humanly speaking—of all wilful apostasy. On the other hand, “apostasy,” when it desires to repent, ceases to be apostasy, and the very meaning of the Gospel is that the door to repentance is never closed by God, though the sinner may close it against himself."

"His “repentance,” if it failed, could only have been a spurious repentance—remorse for earthly foolishness, not godly sorrow for sin, the dolor amissi, not the dolor aàmissi."

"The words place of repentance mean an opportunity to repair by repenting. He found no way to reverse by repentance what he had done. The penalty could not be reversed in the nature of the case. "

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hosea/12-4.htm

⭐‼️ "...God by nature and essence, and an angel by office and voluntary undertaking."
("Angel" is NOT a "species" term????)

⭐"He prayed with tears from a sense of his own unworthiness, and with earnestness for the mercy he desired."
(Important because his keen awareness and admission of his unworthiness DID NOT PREVENT HIM FROM SEEKING MERCY. Honestly it should "ENCOURAGE" us TO beg for it??? Because mercy by definition IS UNDESERVED. Still, the very asking or even pleading still feels proud & demanding. We DON'T deserve it. But God WANTS to GIVE it. The only person telling us NOT to implore Him for mercy is the devil, who only wants us to be CONDEMNED. So don't do his job for him! When you KNOW you're a wretched unworthy sinner, utterly without hope on your own, then PRAY EVEN HARDER. And yes, WEEP over your sins. Do NOT cry the hot tears of bruised pride, of frustrated ego. Instead, mourn for the relationship you bruised with God. Mourn for the pain you put in His Heart by your betrayal. Holy tears are selfless. And THESE tears WILL pleas for mercy, with utmost earnestness, because they know that only mercy CAN heal the relationship. Justice rightly retributes, but it does not restore. Only mercy does. Only mercy can turn your wrestling prayer into ardent embrace. God wants to do that. HE desires it more than you ever can– arguably, YIU only desire reconciliation BECAUSE God desires it first. The devil hates this. He would rather you stay stuck and miserable in your "worthlessness"... except you're NOT worthless. You're only "unworthy." There's actually a BIG DIFFERENCE. The key is that NO ONE is "worthy" of mercy & pardon & forgiveness from GOD, because His Infinite Goodness and Perfection is such that our sins, brazenly committed in offense to THAT, automatically put us in an infinite debt to match! Besides– the very nature of sin is such as to EXCLUDE ITSELF from forgiveness = see the example of Lucifer himself! We humans have been BLESSED with ignorance alongside our free will; it PREVENTS instant damnation. THIS IS ALREADY MERCY. You started off unworthy, born with original sin and concupiscence, and yet God was preemptively giving you a lifetime worth of second chances... by hiding Himself from you. He did this to spark a seeking desire in your heart, and to enkindle hope, and to lay the very foundation of faith. When you weep because He feels so far away, it is that very "distance" that allows for your salvific ache... and if you ARE aching, and missing Him, then your heart is still capable of love and THAT is the MAGNET of mercy. Jacob wept because he FELT that he was unworthy, for his many foolish sins and his heart still inclined to stray... and yet he did not despair, nor did he hate himself; rather, he WEPT in PRAYER– his tears were not tossed to the wind, or performed to please his ego, but were GIVEN DIRECTLY TO THE LORD. Jacob wept IN A RELATIONAL CONTEXT. He poured out his heart to God in sorrow for sin because he RECOGNIZED that sin was broken relationship with Him– just like his track record with his family at large. At the river, stripped of everything he had gained and finally facing the brother he had first betrayed, taking the first step of his unworthy path, Jacob felt his whole life wrapped up in remorse as death loomed merciless in the dark. And yet he ACHED for mercy. He desperately wanted to make things right, to be better than he was, to finally "let go of Esau’s heel" so the both of them could walk freely at last. But he didn't deserve it. But he wanted it more than anything. He was sick of being the supplanter. So he turned to the only hope of all humanity– he lifted up his voice in prayer to the LORD, and he wept for mercy.)
(...he also FOUGHT for it. This was God as Justice too, perhaps, making that side of His judgment on Jacob felt in the arduous struggle, and yet this too being merciful, taking the place of something punitive. But the whole time, God set his child up to win. With the very first syllable of his heartfelt prayer, with the very first twinge of the fearful contrition that drove it, God was already pouring grace out upon Jacob. All he had to do was persevere... without getting proud. His "unworthiness" was what qualified him. He would "prevail" with God, if he didn't try to prevail over God.)

⭐⭐⭐ "Jacob’s wrestling with the angel was, as has been just intimated, not only a corporal conflict, but likewise a spiritual one; from bodily wrestling he betook himself to spiritual weapons; he poured forth tears with earnest supplications and prayers, and strove, NOT so much for victory, as for a blessing: the ONLY way for a feeble, impotent creature, to prevail over his Creator."
(When we become aware of our physical ineptitude in a situation where it is required, our split-second instinct is to pray. Our sudden realization that "we can't do this" triggers an instant soul-glance upwards to the One Who can. Only pride prevents this process. Jacob's wrestling had no arrogant bent. He was desperate to obtain, not to overcome. He was holding on to God not in some attempt to push God down as an opponent, but simply because he refused to let God go as a Savior. Thus his physical exertion was the very means of his utilizing spiritual weapons. Bodily weariness echoed in his sin-tired soul, and thereby called it to "combat" as well.)
(Actually, here's a sudden thought. Jacob would not have prayed to a "man." I am sure he was praying with tears prior to wrestling, BUT DURING the wrestling, was he continuing the weeping prayers "pointed upwards", and in his mind perhaps, without recognizing his very God held in disguise? Or is this passage referring to the comparably short period of time AFTER his hip was wrenched, and Divinity thus confirmed, upon which revelation Jacob's prayers would have become directly verbal and assumedly far more emotionally charged from the intimacy?)
("We ONLY prevail over God by PRAYER." There is staggering significance and depth in that. What is prayer, to have such influence on the Creator of All?)

⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Jacob had come into imminent danger of his life, and was assaulted by an unknown antagonist with his whole power. He therefore himself also exerted his bodily strength to the utmost against this antagonist, that he might defend his life. Nevertheless, he did not contend only with the strength of his body; his faith also wrestled: and first, in such an immediate danger, he comforted himself that he had been ordered by God to return into the land of Canaan [to which country, in obedience to God, he was now journeying.] Then with his whole heart he laid hold on the PROMISE made him by the Lord in Beth-el, where he was fully assured of the divine protection. When therefore he was in distress, and assaulted by an unknown enemy with all his might, although he used his own strength, yet he contended more strenuously by FAITH, beholding the promise, and concluding with certainty that God, according to His Word, WOULD be present with him in so great a danger, and WOULD save him. And with this faith, [so to speak,] he prevailed over God; for although Christ tried Jacob in this conflict, nevertheless He could do nothing against, or contrary to, His Word, on which Jacob relied.”
(OH MY GOSH I GET IT NOW. THAT'S WHAT "PREVAILED" MEANS!!! Christ gave Jacob his "secret weapon," His "only weakness"= He is faithful, and He had PROMISED to protect and preserve Jacob! So when Jacob, perceiving he was confronted with death, trusted in GOD ALONE to save and strengthen him, GOD HAD TO DO SO, and He did so with JOY. )


 

080525

Aug. 5th, 2025 08:47 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Last night = watched The Bad Guys with Baby
BTW YES I APPARENTLY STILL HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON MISTY LUGGINS
Mom & Lou are so... at peace, relying on us??
In then immediate context of the film, that hit even harder

Benadryl news warning??
Worried about consequences to us, considering how we used it as a sedative drug during CNC

Morning Rosary with Baby
Lauds in the theater!

BAD GUYS 2!!!
GALATIANS 6:9 BRO
Honestly afterwards I felt disappointed though? I started talking it out with Genesis to try to figure out why, and man i was WEEPING within minutes. This movie actually hit me WAY HARDER than I expected.
The disappointment? 1. Snake made into "comic relief" with his tumultuous "romance" in stark contrast to his character in the original AND in the comics, 2. The bad girls didn't get much "redemptive character development", and 3. The guys also didn't seem to "grow" much.
Still, I am VERY glad I saw this film because upon reflection, it has brought out a LOT in me and I really need to journal about BOTH the films as a unity.

Points i want to talk about later (not now, i need to eat and do Scripture study)=
⭐HOPE!!!
+ "SUFFERING for doing good," even "getting NO REWARD" for being good, versus the lure of "weren't your bad days easier/ more fun/ more tangibly rewarding"?
+ COMMISSIONER LUGGINS. especially "I trusted you!"
+ the LOLLIPOPS. "Is it strawberry or cherry?" = "i cannot trust anyone to be sweet because they've all treated me sour" basically;
& "i stole the bag"; she didn't eat them, but gave them out INSTEAD of the teacher = usurped the AUTHORITY position, "I DECIDE who is good or bad"?? Attempt to "transcend" or "reject" morality by being "powerfully bad" ironically?? LOTS of feelings about her backstory, ESPECIALLY that her alias is "KITTYCAT." She doesn't call herself "Leopard." Deep down i think there is still a brokenhearted little mewling wanting a lollipop to be GIVEN to her.
+ FEAR VS RESPECT = respect is EARNED! Also I realized you can be WORTHY of respect but YOU CAN'T FORCE IT from others. But you CAN force FEAR
+ DOOM's name, too = ravens are seen as harbingers of death; she apparently just accepted this as her fate, pun intended.
+ i want to think more about Pigtail, especially in light of my own "phobia" of pigs/boars.
+ PIRANHA PRAYING THE ROSARY??? MI HERMAÑO EN CRISTO???
⭐ THE IMMENSE AND LIFECHANGING VALUE OF CHOOSING TO SEE THE GOOD IN OTHERS/ GIVING THEM THE CHANCE & OPPORTUNITY TO BE GOOD/ BEING MERCIFUL & PATIENT WITH "TOUGH CASES" etc.
‼️ KITTYCAT NEVER GOT THIS and it's WHY she went "bad". Her teacher apparently had a PREJUDICE against her, for "looking scary", OR even because maybe she WAS a "problematic student." Nevertheless, Kitty TRIED to be good, in whatever way she knew and was capable of. But it "wasn't good enough". The bar was always too high, or simply put in a place she couldn't access.
+ BTW CHILDREN WON'T UNDERSTAND "GOOD" PROPERLY IF NO ONE HAS EVER MODELED IT TO THEM. They cannot "imitate and integrate" something they've never experienced. This is why you must be patient and kind with "troublemakers," because they typically come from troubled homes. You can only "correct" that behavior with compassion, NOT with angry punitive measures that probably just reflect their parent's behavior.
+ The "Bad Girls" having very "nonfeminine" body types? As opposed to Diane and her gorgeous hips, seriously. Felt like a sort of visual shorthand for "suppression of feminine virtues", or even just vulnerability?? Diane was never harsh or sharp; she was powerful, yes, but she was always kind, and soft too– notice her fluffy face and tail. Her edges aren't hard. But Kittycat's ARE. She's all muscle and bulk, and although yes that's gorgeous too, it's obviously a "threat display" on her part. Contrast to Pigtail being a TANK and yet still being presented as "soft," because all her edges are curves. Doom is in the middle; birds are are interesting. She's more vertical lines, almost "too cool," despite her flirting with Snake? I need to think about her more; I admittedly didn't give her enough attention in the film because I subconsciously "put her aside" in exasperation over the romance bit. That was unfair of me and I am very sorry. So I owe her one.
+ on that note and lastly = Snake's comment about picking locks being compared to romancing??? Hit home unexpectedly. I think he said you have to be "slow" and "gentle" and "playful" and "melt through" the cold/hard metal, so to speak? Something like that. But it hit me oddly sharp because I see those three descriptors as THREATS. And yet they apparently "picked the lock" of HIS heart. So I want to reflect further on that.
+ Obligatory question = I AM SURE THERE WAS SOME METAPHORIC PURPOSE FOR INCLUDING THE LUCHADORS AND YOGA REFERENCES.
+ "it won't be easy, but with the right attitude and the right friends, the "good life" will come to you" = important reframing of the term "good life", redefining it from "ease & wealth & power" to instead focus on integrity & relationships. Beautiful but heartbreaking because if you don't have good relationships it can RUIN you. THIS is why Christ calls us to mercifully "BE a neighbor" to others, actively and unconditionally, WHEREVER we see an unmet need or a lonely heart.


Quick Adoration stop on the way home
Hebrew study email = HOLY JESTERS?????????
COULD THE "NEW BLOODLINE" BE TIED TO THAT???

🌟🌟🌟 OH BTW I forgot to type that yesterday = we NEVER RECOVERED from CNC because the BLOODLINE CRASHED. Normally it would "GROW" or "SHIFT"; the Jewels and Jays "EVOLVED INTO" EACH OTHER like a lineage of descendants. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN CNC BECAUSE WE ALL "DIED", AND THE PHYSICAL ALTERS TOOK OVER. Now when Jewel & Jay are "back," they're effectively "BACKUP SAVE SELVES" AND ARE NOT GROWING "OUT OF" THE CNC TIMELINE & GRANDMA TIMELINE???? They ARE DETACHED FROM THE TRAUMA and so we CANNOT MOVE FORWARDS because THAT DISTANCING LEAVES A GAP IN OUR CORE CHRONOLOGY!!!! So now we're actually wondering = would our "new Core," the one who would "PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF" and reconnect the timeline and be ABLE to move us all forward, be an "outgrowth" OF THE "JESSICA" BLOODLINE???? Because THEY apparently picked up AFTER CNC??? And those "lost years" STILL HAVE TO BE INTEGRATED. But it is very confusing, with some of the old Jewels and Jays STILL being around but NOT AS ACTIVE CORES. And the Jessicas are allegedly unable to love, which DISQUALIFIES them from being Cores at ALL. So there's a lot to think about and work on.
But we will absolutely look into the jester thing. If we can remove the trauma from that term, I am sure it will help in some way– which is why God sent it our way– because the early teenage self USED to identify with that "name"!!! (AND with CATS?? It was a name pun that may have relevance too) We'll see.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh wow JUST like yesterday, today's devotional is ON TOPIC to BOTH my life lately AND the film=
"Even godly people WILL tire of doing good things."
THAT IS SO IMPORTANT because it SOUNDS BLASPHEMOUS but it's NOT. It is a DEEPLY HUMBLING TRUTH and the sooner we come to terms with it & surrender to the reality of it, the BETTER we will be ABLE to do good WITHIN our human limitations, BY GRACE!! Let me assure you from experience– if you're trying to be godly, but assume "godliness" means "never having a hard time," or that "holiness" means "never making a mistake," YOU ARE ACTUALLY A SLAVE TO SCRUPULOUS PRIDE and GOD WILL LET YOU MESS UP AND COLLAPSE FROM EXHAUSTION SO HE CAN SHATTER YOUR SHELL OF PIOUS PERFECTIONISM AND GET THROUGH TO YOU. If you refuse to admit or accept or even FEEL when you're morally & spiritually tired, you'll end up "running on empty" and your "good works' will start to feel excruciating. I know. It's like when you're severely sleep-deprived, the slightest things can trigger an angry outburst or sobbing fit, because your mind and body are wrecked and need a recharge and they cannot operate properly until they do. DO NOT SAY, "GOD'S GRACE WILL GET ME THROUGH" YOUR DENIAL BECAUSE THAT'S DISHONEST & PRESUMPTUOUS. Sometimes God's grace will MAKE YOU STOP. Of course God wants you to "do good," but YOU'RE NOT GOD– you CANNOT do "ALL the good" and He doesn't expect you to!! God values quality over quantity! If you're tired, it means something needs attention; something is off-balance. Tiredness is temporary, but it serves a purpose. Our bodies only get tired for specific reasons, after all– no food, no sleep, overexertion, sickness, inflammation, age. Do any of those apply to you spiritually? Reflect on that. But DON'T pretend it WON'T happen!!)

⭐"That's why Saint Paul encourages everyone to continue to push forward in doing good. We should continue to help [and serve] people, [to] share the hope of Jesus with others, [and] live as God would want us to— especially when things get hard."
(GOODNESS = SERVICE, INTEGRITY, & EVANGELIZATION???)

⭐‼️ "God knows that we'll eventually grow weary. And when we grow tired and frustrated, we'll probably begin to question why we're doing any of this to begin with. (WOLF DID!!)
But Galatians 6:9 encourages us to persevere in doing good things [by] living godly lives and helping those around us... Similar to how a farmer must work diligently to plant his crops and WAIT for MONTHS before the actual harvest, Paul says there will be a harvest for those who do not give up."
(GOODNESS REQUIRES EFFORT. IT REQUIRES LABOR & DILIGENCE. Virtue is a MUSCLE you must EXERCISE!)

"If we do not give up, Scripture says there will be a reward for us. We may receive that reward during our time on earth, or in heaven— but regardless of when we receive it, we should persevere in doing good [motivated by our hope in God's Promise, and full of joy in knowing that we are doing His Will].
(The "firstfruits" of our "reward" IS the grace of perseverance itself?? Doing good IS "its own reward," even if it DOESN'T "make your tail wag" because it requires hard labor & sacrifice. It still keeps the fire of holy love burning in your heart. I have never regretted doing a single good thing, regardless of cost– that too is a great reward. I have grown in virtue as a result of choosing the good when it is the most difficult, and that is a great reward, as well as a great grace! You see how God's Gifts are all wrapped up in God's Challenges? But we only gain the prize by perseverance, which is what proves our hearts as true contenders. We must "finish every fight"! We cannot throw in the towel! We cannot give up on caring for our planted seeds halfway through the hot season! Where else would we even go?? (John 6:68) If we leave God's Garden for Satan's City, we will soon find that there is no fresh air, no running streams, no shady forests, no flowers to be seen. It is all cold metal and plastic and paper, an artificial world that drains you dry. THAT'S what will truly exhaust your soul, the way a cancer does. The "tiredness" you get from goodness is refreshing in comparison! Not only that, but "godly tiredness" is an invitation to rest, and to let OTHERS do good for YOU. Grace is reciprocal and relational, remember!)
(What is the reward in heaven? The Beatific Vision. Heaven is ultimate consolation.


⭐⭐💜 "That means that your work matters! There IS VALUE to how you live and love others. So, keep it up. Keep doing good. There are blessings on the other side of your pain."
(

⭐⭐💜‼️"Spend some time today considering the good that you have done and can continue to do for others. Who can you help? Who can you share the hope of Jesus with? How can you continue to persevere in living a godly life? If you've grown weary or defeated, make a commitment today to never give up. CHOOSE to persevere through whatever season of life you’re in, knowing that there will be a harvest for those who finish well."
(

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "God, help me to never become tired of doing good things. As I grow closer to You, give me the endurance to serve and love others no matter how I’m feeling. I want to bring those around me closer to You— so please help me to act more like You."
(Goodness is, really, simply reflecting the character of God. It is letting Jesus Christ shine on others through us.)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://drelisblog.com/the-last-shall-be-first

⭐‼️ "The book of Genesis weaves a compelling tapestry of human ambition, divine promises, and startling reversals, with sibling rivalry emerging as a central theme that illuminates God’s sovereign choices... Genesis explores the struggle for birthright, divine favor, or covenant leadership."
(I never realized sibling rivalry was that prevalent but it IS. It's sad, though– fallen humanity is here defined by ambition, rivalry, struggle, competition, superiority... it's in direct contrast TO God's Promises; we try to "get for ourselves" by power, what we should instead be humbly receiving from God on HIS timing. We want what WE want, too, according to OUR understanding. This is WHY we get "startling reversals"– they're actually God turning things "right side up" in an upside-down world.)
(The very phrase "struggling for divine favor" is so sad. God doesn't play favorites, and you cannot "win" or "merit" His Grace, especially not by stepping over someone else. The same goes for leadership in the COVENANT. Remember it works like a FAMILY, not a dictatorship! Father figures, especially holy ones, must be SERVANT leaders. This is what Jesus exemplifies for us, and it's also what astonished His Disciples. They were working from this "Genesis mindset" too, with their ambition & rivalry & seeking favor, even after centuries had passed. This goes to show that we NEED God to "reverse and re-center everything" in His Chosen One, Jesus Christ– the Promise of Favor fulfilled, the Sovereign Servant Leader of the New Covenant, and the true Firstborn Who illuminates every human relationship and ends all our rivalry by His Generous Love. His sole ambition was to do His Father's Will, as man was meant to from the Beginning... and when we stop struggling to do things on our own, and instead humbly receive His grace and mercy, we are finally restored to His Family, to our Holy Father, and we will have peace at last.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "These stories consistently challenge primogeniture— the ancient cultural norm where the firstborn son inherits the family’s wealth, title, and authority, leaving younger siblings with diminished prospects! By repeatedly elevating the younger or less-favored sibling, Genesis reveals a divine pattern that subverts human expectations, affirming God’s authority to choose the unlikely to fulfill His Promises. For those feeling overlooked or marginalized, these accounts offer profound hope: God sees potential where humanity sees weakness, transforming the “last” into the “first” to accomplish His redemptive purposes."
(I didn't realize primogeniture benefits effectively "took away from" the younger siblings! But it makes sense; only one man can lead the family, and manage the business, etc. Would they possibly feel less connected to the family, the younger and less-favored they sadly were, if they were "at the end of the line" for "available blessings" and likely expected to "make it on their own"– in contrast to the firstborn, raised specifically in the bosom of his parents, linked to their legacy from infancy, made the icon of their hopes and heritage? Younger kids had older parents to begin with, after all, diminishing their vigor and capacity to care as closely? And the more elderly siblings they had, the less attention they would get, due to it being "spread out" over everyone else, and the "new baby" routine perhaps becoming mere routine? I don't know enough about their culture to guess, but I should research to understand better, so I'm not assuming or projecting.)
(God CHOOSES the UNLIKELY. That means so much to me. And what does He choose us FOR? To FULFILL HIS PROMISES. That is MIND-BLOWING.)
(God's Purposes are ALL REDEMPTIVE??? What else would He be doing, honestly? But He accomplishes them THROUGH PEOPLE– and specifically the "last" ones; the "least," the "forgotten" & "overlooked," the "leftovers," the "rejects," the "undesirables," "useless," the "wastes of space," the "burdens," the "blemishes on society," the "unwanted," the "unloved." The sick & scary & smelly & stupid, the weak & wasted & washed-up & wrecked, the homeless & helpless & hopeless & hated, are all still loved by God, to the astounding extent of even being chosen by Him to manifest His Goodness to the world. Why? Because His Power is made perfect in those who have no power of their own. God gets all the more glory & praise when His instruments neither seek any for themselves nor would merit it to begin with. God makes Himself the most evident when He works through a soul who has no ability to work on their own. God's Light shines brightest against the backdrop of their "darkness", declaring that these "unlikeliest" ones, dismissed and demonized by the proud, are not evil and are not to be avoided. God reveals His Face in the poor & lowly, in the downtrodden and the crushed, because in their poverty and detachment there is room for Grace to enter in... and TRANSFORM their hearts FOREVER. Once God has truly touched you, this world is nothing; it becomes a strange joy to be outcast from it, because now your sights are set solely on heaven, and the cross you carry is what carries you there.)


‼️‼️‼️‼️ "God looks on the heart. There was something in Cain’s motivation and heart attitude, and possibly something in his performance, that made his offering unacceptable to God. It was obviously something that he was aware of and COULD remedy, since God tells him after the fact, “You will be accepted if you do what is right". Abel, on the other hand, had the proper motivation, the proper procedure, and the proper relationship with God. That relationship was based on faith: “By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did”. Ever since the beginning, people must come to God in faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God”, and [therefore] faith is evidently what Cain lacked."
(THIS IS A GAME-CHANGER. God's reply to Cain always intrigued me, because yes it DOES imply that Cain KNEW– or should know, by all means, as the very son of Adam– what WAS righteous... but he DIDN'T DO IT. So even in this rebuke and redirection, God is being VERY KIND & MERCIFUL. He is directly indicating the problem and patiently giving the opportunity to learn & do better, as well as giving SOLID HOPE that this "failure" is NOT an "end-all"! If Cain humbly "does what is right" next time– because yes, God DOES give a next time; he GETS a second chance– he WILL be accepted! And Cain KNOWS HOW, and Cain CAN REMEDY it. All there is now is time, in which to learn this new & unique grace of repentance and restoration!  This is reason for rejoicing!!)
(...but Cain "didn't have faith." THAT was what was missing. Cain could apparently talk with God but didn't have a relationship with Him. He didn't pray from his heart. He didn't follow procedure because he probably thought he had a better idea. His motives were compulsory, reluctant, selfish, seeking praise & gain for himself instead of God; seeking to be "favored over Abel" instead of seeking closeness to his LORD. Why do I suggest such things? Because that's how a heart thinks that doesn't trust in God. Of course Cain "believed" in God; they had just left Eden, and God literally talks to Cain in a direct way we can only dream of–so his "lack of faith" means that Cain trusted himself more than God. Maybe he refused to rely on what he couldn't see. I don't know. But when he made his offering, he KNEW it was somehow half-hearted or haphazard, and still didn't correct things. That just throws me for a loop. It means his heart was already turning cold towards God, somehow. I'm just... stunned, that Adam's own son didn't have faith in God. ...OH. MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS ADAM'S SON. MAYBE HE KNEW THE STORY OF THE FALL AND WAS MAD AT GOD FOR IT. MAYBE, IN HIS HEART, CAIN BLAMED GOD FOR IT. MAYBE CAIN COULDN'T RECONCILE THE IDEA OF A "GOOD GOD" WITH THE CURSE OF SIN & EXPULSION FROM EDEN, AND SO HE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE HE COULD PUT HIS TRUST IN SUCH A "CONTRADICTORY" GOD??? The irony is that Abel knew the SAME STORY and yet HE trusted God AS GOOD despite the reality of sin & death. This is worth meditating on far more deeply than I can today.)
(Could this "faith = accepted" idea also apply to Esau & Jacob, with God being merciful to the latter, despite his dishonest methods, since Jacob actually HAD FAITH?? It didn't excuse his actions, and it didn't prevent the consequences, but Jacob WAS STILL BLESSED, and God LED HIM INTO RIGHTEOUSNESS. But none of those good things would have occurred without Jacob having faith in the God Who COULD do such Good for him, and had even PROMISED to, despite his wretchedness. THAT'S why faith pleases God= it recognizes and honors His Character, Which is Love & Justice & Truth & Peace & Goodness itself, etc. Faith in God TRUSTS Him as LORD and RELIES on Him as Father. When our hearts are in that position, seeing and believing Him AS faithful, we naturally want to please Him, and our faith will open us up to receive the grace TO do so.)
(Jacob's motivation & procedure were "half & half"?? Was his morality skewed by culture, where such trickster behavior was seen as allowed under such circumstances? His motivation was the conviction that he was acting "on God's behalf" at benefit to himself?? And he didn't have a "personal relationship" with God yet, but he DID believe.)

‼️‼️‼️ "In Jude 1:11, we read, “They have taken the way of Cain,” a description that refers to lawless men. This may mean that they, like Cain, disobediently devised their own ways of worship, and they did not come to God by faith. Cain’s offering, while acceptable in his own eyes, was not acceptable to the Lord. In some way, Cain had perverted God’s prescribed form of worship, and [so] his heart was not right..."
(BEWARE TO ALL "CHRISTIAN WITCHES" AND "CHRISTOPAGANS"!!!)




080425

Aug. 4th, 2025 08:45 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Moms first day of vacation so WE are ALSO taking a vacation week

NOOL mass. So scared we wouldn't get the Blood. but we did ❤
HUNGER HOMILY. Explicit Gaza mention. KEEP PRAYING FOR THEM. Also offering up small "hungers" of our own as spiritual sacrifices FOR THEIR BENEFIT!!

Highway impatience. Ashamed of it. "Channeled" MARY'S trusting Heart. God will get us exactly where He wants us to be, WHEN He wants us to be there.

ELIO 9AM!!!
Oh my gosh I AM SO GLAD I WENT TO SEE THIS
I WEPT at the radio signal navigation bit, and at the ending
"What if there's nothing in me TO want"?
Man if they had kept Elio canonical gay that would've hit SO MUCH HARDER tbh
"I didn't give earth a chance; I think I want to try"
"This isn't what I wanted my life to be" vs "I only want you"
+ARMY/ARMOR METAPHOR; VULNERABILITY!! ONLY BREAKING ALLOWS LIFESAVING CLOSENESS
+NO HUMAN BEING IS EVER "ALONE"; our great strength & blessing is our unity as a species; we NATURALLY WANT AND NEED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED
⭐PARENTS ARE SACRED & INDISPENSABLE = they are the ONLY human relationship in which their love for each other CREATES A NEW LIFE TO LOVE. Children are SUPPOSED to be "WANTED" in the most PROFOUND way– as a LIVING RESULT OF SHARED LIFE & LOVE. You do not get that kind of "wanting" in ANY friendship! Anyone can "want you" around as a friend, but only a parent can "want you" into existence, as their child. That's an IRREVOCABLE AND INHERENT CONNECTION. The family unit, as it was intended by God, is absolutely the bedrock of society, and it NEEDS to be protected and cherished and healed and honored. But that can ONLY happen WITH God!!! GOD, WHO IS LOVE, AND A TRINITY OF PERSONS, IS THE MODEL & TYPE & PERFECTION OF EVERY HUMAN FAMILY. And so every human family must know and love and serve Him in order to be complete & whole & true themselves.

In general the film really spoke to our own heart, our youngest heart, who was/is just as obsessed with aliens, and wanting so badly to meet them. I don't know if she wanted to "join them" in the same way Elio did, though– she herself identified too strongly AS an alien to think in terms of "separation" to begin with.

One big problem today = the previews and ads before the film.
I was literally IN TEARS from disgust and anger at the worldly "culture" portrayed and presented in them. It was SICKENING how shallow and sinful it all was, disguised in glitter and fun and laughter and silliness. But it made me nauseous, to discern the rotten flesh beneath the smiling mask. It made me furious, because it broke my heart.
HOW MANY LOST SOULS ARE MARKETING THIS? HOW MANY LOST SOULS ARE FOOLED AND ENTICED BY THIS? How deep does the devil have his dirty claws sunk in the guts of the entertainment industry?
...


Decided to go get the olive oil after the movie so we won't worry about it. Genesis & Laurie keeping me on track.
They're "blurring"???? "Gadfly" and "Protector" roles very similar actually. But Laurie "hasn't been doing her job"; her color instability and the trauma of CNC affected her possibly irreversibly. But that does not mean she's broken. Things just need to be healed and corrected, even in her. She needs her edge back; her true strength was in her sharp and hard points. We NEED those to FIGHT WELL!

Just in time for a Library stop to get BAD GUYS 1 & (FINALLY) VENOM 3!!!

Also remember it's SAINT JOHN VIANNEY'S FEAST DAY!! I am so dearly fond of him. "Lucky" radio homily catch on the drive home= I didn't realize his past was so full of rejection though!! I was deeply touched, it gave me so much hope for myself too. God will guide me to where I need to be, too, even if the world thinks I'm utterly stupid and incapable and "not worth investing in."

God got us home for BK RIGHT ON TIME!

Sudden HUGE realization while fighting OCD =
GOD DIDN'T "DISARM" THE DEVIL; HE REDEFINED THE VERY NATURE OF HIS WEAPONRY!!! If you take a weapon away, he can just get it back, or find something else to use, etc.
What are his weapons, that he uses to harm our souls? FEAR, SUFFERING, AND DEATH. These are the results of sin causing Adam's fall, AND that triad CAUSES US to fall into sin as a result.
BUT JESUS TOOK THOSE THINGS INTO HIMSELF AND UTTERLY TRANSFORMED THEM. The Cross REDEFINED THEM ALL into means of sanctification!!!nNow, they can SERVE GOD. So the devil literally HAS NO WEAPONS anymore, towards those who are in Jesus!!

THIS IS ALSO REDEMPTIVE SUFFERING = "OFFER IT UP" THROUGH CHRIST'S CROSS!! He suffered FOR US although HE was INNOCENT = we can do this for OTHERS!!! We can "pay THEIR debt" through grace in us; WE can suffer pain that would otherwise be meant for THEM as just punishment OR as just consequences??? But ONLY if WE "AREN'T GUILTY" of the sins that caused them, by being in a state of grace and detachment from sin???
I thought of this with the OCD. If I suffer this discomfort that triggers sexual trauma, BUT I AM NO LONGER IN IT, I can "defeat the devil" by suffering this "IN THE PLACE OF" women in this world who were "supposed" to suffer for sexual sins??? I can help "take on their penance" by accepting this pain?? And that ALSO helps conquer the "OCD contamination" terror, because it's NOT "filth" anymore in this light, it is a "psychic sharing" of something that CANNOT "TOUCH ME," but my endurance is keeping it from touching anybody else?? I can see it AS a "cross" now because now I understand what that MEANS. It means I am willingly "bearing someone else's burden" out of merciful love, when I have no obligation or compulsion to do so. I suffer with all of humanity, but I give meaning and purpose to this suffering through grace, by "redefining" it on the Cross. I can thereby help unite more of humanity TO Christ through my own sharing in His Passion, and global human suffering, simultaneously. No one ever suffers alone. We all bleed the same, just like Jesus. It's not pointless. God has given us the privileged ability to turn the devil's weapons into channels of God's blessings, into means of uniting and healing souls. Death is no longer the enemy. Pain is no longer to be fled from or avoided. Fear has been completely tamed and declawed, now serving only to direct us away from sin. Christ Crucified has conquered all things with His Love. All praise and honor and glory be to our Good and Merciful Lord!!

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daily reading thoughts = numbers 11

"The sons of Israel began to wail, ‘Who will give us meat to eat?’ they said. ‘Think of the fish we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic! Here we are wasting away, stripped of everything; there is nothing but manna for us to look at!’

First off bro... YOU WERE SLAVES. You weren't "eating for free"!! You had NO RIGHTS, NO DIGNITY, NO FUTURE there. You were objectified, used, tossed aside, seen as a mere labor resource. HOWEVER this very circumstances probably made it so that when they DID get to eat, it was their "ONLY JOY" and so its "RELIEF" factor got blown way out of proportion in comparison. Their minds clung to all they could get.
BUT NOW they are OUT of Egypt and so, in a sense, yes, they HAVE been "stripped of everything," Because that little joy WAS their ONLY joy, EVEN AMIDST SLAVERY. Take the latter and the former is lost too, because of the context! But they were MEANT FOR MORE. The problem is, they HAVE TO LOSE the "little" they had first. The wilderness is necessary. So their emotions ARE VALID & REAL, but the are the result of a LACK OF TRUST = FAITH. God has promised them good things– but they don't know what that REAL joy looks like yet, and so they feel bereft, because they lack the faith that IS the anchor and foundation of ALL true joy!!
They want to go back to slavery because it was "all they knew" and they have never experienced something like this. They are seeking comfort and familiarity like children–yet they are abused children, running back to the place of trauma solely because "at least they fed me. At least I knew I had a place to live." They DON'T KNOW HOW TO TRULY TRUST YET; they never had the opportunity TO do so, OR anyone WORTH trusting!! So this is all new and understandable, even if it is still "sinful" in its rebellious and contentious character. But it is coming from very wounded, very sick hearts. It will take time to heal yet.

"Wasting away" = also referring to the "death of the old self"? Not simply exaggeration of hunger, like Esau! They HAD food, but they wanted more, in both variety and amount; they needed to mortify their novelty-seeking appetites in order to be more obedient and receptive to God. They HAD to LET their old way of being "waste away" by "starving it" of its lusts. Their "SLAVE SELF" had to die along with the Egypt it belonged to= they were enslaved to sinful passions, to ungodly pride & idolatrous greed, and they could not enter the Promised Land with those shackles still on; the very weight would kill them in this desert.

"Look at" = fascinating choice of words, INSTEAD of "to eat"!! This betrays their SENSUAL APPETITE, as opposed to real bodily needs! They wanted luxury and richness and "interesting" flavors, as well as "pretty things" and a "plethora of choices" which they could admire visually as much as gastronomically. They wanted the "PRIDE OF THE EYES"– THE VERY FIRST LISTED TEMPTATION THAT LURED EVE INTO DEATH. In order to sin, we must first LOOK at it. "The woman SAW that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes..." She saw what the devil had SUGGESTED to her, in direct yet subtle defiance of God's command to not eat it! Do we not "hunger" after what we see? The fruit was forbidden– why then stand there admiring it? That was no matter to her! Why even choose to consider it? If she had kept her eyes fixed on God, finding HIM pleasing above all, she would not have been turned to face the devil's direction. "The lamp of the body is the eye... if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be!"
Israel, in wanting "pleasing" things to look at, is rejecting the simple yet all-sufficient gift of their LORD. They are blinded to the bounty of His grace, of the miracles that surround them, because they have fixed their eyes on their own lusts. They want to LOOK; to "get" what they desire, as a shopper or scavenger "looks" for his own food... they do not want to "close their eyes" in humble surrender of control, and receive whatever God gives, in faith.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOUVERSION SPEAKING RIGHT INTO THIS TODAY = MATTHEW 4:4!!

God's WORD is ALIVE! It is our TRUE FOOD. Scripture is our joy, hope, peace, comfort, purpose, passion, life, etc. It renews and nourishes and strengthens us, refreshes and keeps and sustains us.
We NEED to KNOW GOD'S Word, which is TRUTH ITSELF, in order to prevent "being poisoned" by the lies of this world!
⭐We need to "EAT" Scripture DAILY to feed our souls, but we also need to DIGEST it!! I remember reflecting on this EXACT thought YEARS ago (major deja vu). We must take the time to READ it, to STUDY and UNDERSTAND it, to PONDER it and really "hide it in our heart" by MEMORIZING it, even just by natural familiarity with it! THEN, with it "written inside us," we can APPLY it, and put it into PRACTICE!!
⭐‼️ "Renew your mind" with Scripture and it will "change your behavior"; what you put into your thoughts is what you get out of your decisions & deeds = SOW & REAP PRINCIPLE. Literally EVERYTHING YOU "LET IN" IS A SEED. BUT is it wheat, or darnel? There are TWO diligent "sowers" out preparing for harvest, remember!! BUT THEY DON'T WALK THE SAME PATHS??? God plants His good things where He knows they have means to grow INTO goodness– in sunlight, with rain, and in fields of good labor? But the devil throws his evil seeds into places that may look nice but that bear no good fruit, only poisonous berries?? He plants seeds that only grow in the shade, or that grow so wild that they choke their neighbors? You get the picture. The point is, be wary of the environment you are in. It's not just your soul-soil, it's what seeds you expose yourself to, that CAN be planted there!! Do NOT linger in gardens full of tangled overgrowth and carnivorous plants!! BE CAREFUL!!!
⭐ BELIEVE what GOD says about you IN SCRIPTURE, so you CAN be who HE says you ARE, and DO what He says you CAN do IN HIS GRACE!! This requires TRUST; true transformation, even miraculous changes in our very character, cannot happen without FAITH– but with faith, IT WILL. Trust me. It's happened to me, the instant I surrendered into His Hands. GOD IS FAITHFUL, AND HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES, AND WHAT HE SAYS IS TRUE & ETERNALLY IRREVOCABLE. So LEARN what He says in His Word– pun intended, for Christ personifies it– and LIVE BY IT. There is literally no surer foundation! BUILD your life on the GOSPEL!! It alone can & will reliably and surely guide you from "here" into the "hereafter"! SO TREAT IT LIKE THE LIFESAVING "MAP" IT IS, in this desert of our days.


And oh man LOOK AT THESE JACOB/ESAU PARALLELS in the daily reflection =

‼️‼️ "Jesus was hungrytaunted by the enemy to satisfy His craving for food."
(The devil tells us to "satisfy cravings." This is slave language. He wants us to "placate" or "please" a demanding taskmaster, a primal and selfish, often even mindless, lust for some temporal thing... typically food, and typically when we don't need it. But in this legitimate case, where Jesus's human body IS naturally "craving" anything edible, the devil STILL goads Him to "satisfy" it– to treat HUNGER as the "boss," or even as a wild animal? The word implies a gesture done almost under duress, to keep it from losing its temper, or acting in violence, or otherwise harming you. At least, that's what it sounds like to my traumabrain. "Satisfaction" is not a kind or caring word. It is a stomach full of holes, an addict chasing a high. It is never truly happy. It always wants more. Do not seek to satisfy it. You must direct your true efforts and intentions and object elsewhere. Cravings are to be ignored; let their own hunger eat them alive. You, Christian, are not bound to them, so do not be fooled or bullied into servitude. What you need to listen quietly and carefully to are your GOD-GIVEN AND GOD-HONORING NEEDS.)
(Note also that Jesus was TAUNTED. The devil WILL MOCK you for your sacrifices and self-control, for your temperance and your modesty... and he will often do this through other people. Be wary. Remember that you serve and seek God alone. Don't let the slaves of appetite drag you into their filthy cell, back into Egypt, just because they claim there's "free food," and you're "missing out" on what there is to see. It's a trap. Do not turn back.)
(Etymonline says: "To taunt is to press upon a person certain facts or accusations of a reproachful character unsparingly, for the purpose of annoying or shaming, and glorying in the effect of the insulting words: as, to taunt one with his failure."
DID ESAU "LET HIMSELF BE TAUNTED"??? Was his pride as a hunter bruised? Was he humiliated by the weakness he felt by hunger? )

‼️‼️ "Essentially, Satan provoked Jesus to prove that He was God's Son by turning rocks into bread."
(The devil judges divinity by power alone, and he sees power as control. "Prove you're God by altering the laws of nature at will." "Prove you're God by refusing to accept limitations." Satan sees "godliness" as brute force and proud exaltation.)

‼️‼️‼️ "Can you sense the manipulation?" "If you're really the Son of God, do something. Take matters into your own hands. Give in to your desire. Provide for yourself. Is God even good if He holds out on you?""
(This is what Jacob and Rebekah were tempted into doing??? "If you're REALLY the chosen firstborn, do something. Take the matter onto your own hands." And then the provision aspect, with the goats perhaps... "God gave them to me," but he and his mother were the ones acting in God's place, claiming control, not waiting on prey to appear by "chance", but slaughtering their own herd at will. I'm really stretching the metaphor but it speaks to an insidious tendency of human nature so the warning is apt, even if only in that more generalized sense. "Would you still trust and serve God if it turned out you weren't the one to get the blessing?" "Is God good if He sends you into exile and servitude?" Etc. The answer is, as we see later, absolutely yes. Don't ever trust the devil. He can't see the big picture, and he doesn't care about honoring it regardless, because he refuses to accept the Truth. God IS Good, ALWAYS.)

‼️‼️"...the devil temped Jesus with protection and power, but Jesus rebuked him with Scripture."
(The devil cannot give either of those because HE is the "king" of SIN– the very threat we NEED to be protected against!! And ALL power comes from GOD– even his!! It's not his TO give; and even if he could do you really think he'd share ANY of it with a worthless human, a child of his enemy, like you??)

⭐‼️ "Jesus knew that life is more than having a full stomach. Though He surely longed to satisfy his physical craving, He knew that true sustenance comes from God."
(This is because TRUE LIFE is ETERNAL LIFE.)

⭐"Jesus knew that engaging in debate with the enemy isn't wise. Instead, He relied on the power of Scripture, quoting from Deuteronomy as His weapon of defense."
(Remember what we said earlier! He KNEW Scripture enough TO wield it as a weapon from His Mind & Heart!)

⭐‼️"Jesus knew He had nothing to prove. Unlike Adam and Eve in Genesis, who doubted God's goodness and gave into temptation, Jesus was able to resist the enemy."
(Key words = PROVE, GOODNESS, ABLE, RESIST.)
(PROVE = You'll never "convince" the devil. You don't need to. Don't even try.)
(GOODNESS = ALL temptations to disobey/ distrust God's commandments assume that, if we followed them, we would suffer pain or loss somehow... And we assume such things are always "signs of malice" towards us. So, we try to "escape' that risk by letting ourselves be fooled by the empty promises of safety & pleasure that the devil offers by disobeying God's laws. We forget that God's Law is literally, and quite obviously, about LOVE. "LOVE DOES NO EVIL to one's neighbor; THEREFORE it is the FULFILLMENT of the Law!" But NOTE = it's about NEIGHBOR!! It's SELFLESS! It's the CROSS!!! Jesus loves us with infinite, unconditional, everlasting, perfect Love, and yet THAT LOVE "KILLED" HIM. But it saved our lives from death forever. THAT'S what obeying God is about!! The point ISN'T to be "comfy and happy" in this fallen world! The point of obeying God's Commands is that THEY ARE GIVEN IN LOVE, FOR LOVE, BY LOVE, FOR GOD IS LOVE, AND LOVE IS THE HIGHEST & PUREST GOOD, AND SO ALL HIS LAWS ARE GOOD, EVEN IF WE "SUFFER" FOR KEEPING THEM, BECAUSE THEY KEEP OTHERS FROM SUFFERING!!! And remember what I said much earlier about Jesus REDEFINING SUFFERING!!! When you LOVE the Cross, you're no longer afraid of "pain or loss", because in this world all of that is temporary, and in Christ it can even be used for eternal benefits! Suffering paradoxically becomes joyful, when united with the Lord, because we share HIS joy, which He WON FOR US BY THE CROSS, the HIGHEST joys on this earth: redemption, atonement, and the hope of Resurrection!! Our sufferings now serve THOSE ends! My pain can be offered up for the conversion of sinners, for their redemption by Christ! My losses free me from temporal things so I can put all my hopes in eternity beyond the grave! My suffering in the place of others, and with others, shares in Christ's at-one-ment for us all, a unity of love only possible through such total willingness to share even the agonies of one's neighbor, in pure compassion, so no one is ever alone, and our greatest sorrows are transformed into opportunities for our deepest joy! THIS IS WHAT YOU LOSE BY DISOBEYING GOD BECAUSE YOU'RE "AFRAID TO SUFFER" A LITTLE. DON'T SELL THIS FOR THE SOUP.)
(ABLE = Jesus's humanity was ONLY capable of resisting temptation because He KNEW God was Good & Trustworthy, and didn't feel the need to "justify" that to the devil... or to any human ego. God has "nothing to prove" because His Truth is self-evident. Jesus didn't have to "test" the "validity" of His Father's faithfulness, or constant care, or good purposes, in order to put all His Faith in Him. God's character is a REALITY, not a theory! Having that knowledge and conviction, Jesus was ABLE to resist the devil's foolish and shallow attempts to "poke holes" in His filial trust. But how did Jesus "get" such assurance of God's faithfulness? LOVE. IF YOU LOVE GOD, NO DOUBT CAN EVER SHAKE YOU. IF YOU LOVE GOD, NO TEMPTATION CAN EVER TRICK YOU. IF YOU LOVE GOD, NO HARDSHIP CAN EVER CONQUER YOU. LOVE IS YOUR ANCHOR, YOUR LIGHT, AND YOUR SWORD. LOVE IS GOD, AND GOD LOVES YOU. When we love God, we give ourselves totally to Him– there's "nothing left" TO "give in" to anything else!)
(RESIST = NOT "FIGHT". This is notable to me because sometimes, you literally don't need to– and shouldn't– "battle" the evil facing you. "Only STAND STILL, and the LORD will fight for you!" "BE STILL, and know that I AM GOD!" Sometimes our only marching order is to hold our holy ground. The devil may be stupid in eternal matters, in fact he's the most stupid of all creatures in that regard– but he is SCARY SMART in the ways of sin. That means, do NOT argue with him. NEVER "wage a war of words" with the "father of lies"; you WILL LOSE. Be humble, but don't fear him– fear God. The more you interact with evil, the more you give him your attention, the more opportunities he has to get his thoughts and images into your mind and heart. You cannot conquer him, and guess what? You're not supposed to! That's JESUS'S job, and He ALREADY DID SO!! Your job is to RESIST– to simply stop him from moving forward. Take your stand against his lies, and stand firm, opposing him and refusing to budge. Hold out against his assault– you have the Shield of Faith, after all. You can withstand it, by grace, and grace is always available, so ask for as much as you need. Remember, victory belongs to God, and so do you. There is no need to "beat him" by force; he's already lost! You need only to RESIST the devil, "and he will flee from you"– and your faithfully steadfast humility in contrast will glorify God all the more.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️❤"Jesus knew He was being tempted by the devil and acted in accordance. We must learn to recognize when we're under attack, and remember to fight back with God's Word... Remember, God HAS enabled you to fight back with Truth by the power of the Holy Spirit."
(WHEN WE'RE ATTACKED, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT BACK– BUT NOT WITH HUMAN POWER!! GOD IS STILL THE ONE FIGHTING FOR US!!! Also, realize this: the devil is all darkness, lies, hatred, and pride. God is Light, Truth, Love, and Humility. So THOSE are the conquering weapons; not brute force or intellectual gymnastics! God marches into battle head-on, never using subterfuge, never afraid to confront the foe directly. But then what does He do? He SPEAKS. And with one Word, all His enemies fall (John 18:6!). This is the ultimate show of His Power, a proof that He is in total control. He need not even lift a Finger to utterly destroy those who oppose Him; all He has to do is breathe on them (2 Thessalonians 2:8!). So we must realize that God does not "fight" the way we humans do. "For, though we are still living in the world, it is no worldly warfare that we are waging... though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. We use God’s mighty weapons [of divine power], not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." etc. 2 Corinthians 10. You see what the war ACTUALLY looks like now? A sword of metal can pierce through a heart of flesh, but it cannot pierce through the pride and obstinacy that dwell therein. Only the Sword of the Spirit can do that, "which is the WORD OF GOD" (Ephesians 6:17); "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul and spirit, joints and marrow, as it judges the thoughts and purposes of the heart"... "God's Word can cut through our spirits and souls... until it discovers the desires and thoughts of our hearts" (Hebrews 4:12). If it can, and does, do that to US, just imagine how TERRIFIED the devil must be of it!! Do not hesitate to wield it against him– but do so skillfully!! It's a HEAVY Sword, powerful and great! You can only "lift it from the Stone (Matthew 21:42)" if you are humble! If you try to swing it by your own strength, it will crush you. Hold it in your hands, and hold it to your heart, and it will move your arms to victory, if you will be led. Let the Word of the LORD speak for you, and you will not be ashamed. Fight back with the TRUTH that incinerates lies on contact– the TRUTH of WHO GOD IS and WHO YOU ARE IN GOD.)


‼️‼️"So, how is the enemy tempting you this week? How is he enticing you to doubt God's trustworthiness?"
(I highlight this for Esau= he, too was "enticed" by "doubting the trustworthiness of his God-given birthright" in a sense?? He effectively didn't think it was of any good FOR God to have given it to Him, if he was "going to die anyway" as it were. He didn't have any faith that God WOULD 'let him survive his hunger" and furthermore to live long enough TO live out the birthright he had been graced with. This was a very subtle, very passive distrust, but it was real. If Esau had trusted in God's faithfulness to provide for His people, including himself, he would NOT have exaggerated his hunger so, OR given in so impetuously to it. The devil knew THAT was his true weak spot... not his sensual appetites in themselves, but his doubt that God would do anything about them.)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


"O Godhead, here untouched, unseen, All things created bear your trace..."
(Literally every creature in existence reflects some aspect of God. This is SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TRUTH. It's beautiful to meditate on too. Look at the things you take for granted in Creation, and make a habit of consciously recognizing the "traces of God" in them. It WILL change your life.)

"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it."
("Treasure in a field" vibes. I love the imagery of "keeping" it, like a child finds some unexpected precious thing and holds it close, treasuring it for years to come. I think of what few items I've intentionally "kept" over the years– they may seem worthless to others, but I know their inestimable value, a value of the heart & spirit, and so I "keep" them. But such things are never to be "shelved" or put in a drawer, out of sight and mind, despite their worth. If they are truly valued, they will be cherished. THAT is "keeping" in truth.)

Lord, let your love come upon me, the saving help of your promise.
And I shall answer those who taunt me, for I trust in your word.
()

Do not take the word of truth from my mouth, for I trust in your decrees.
I shall always keep your law for ever and ever.
()

I shall walk in the path of freedom for I seek your precepts.
I will speak of your will before kings and not be abashed.
()

Your commands have been my delight; these I have loved.
I will worship your commands and love them and ponder your will."
()

"“You wanted no sacrifice or oblation, but you have prepared a body for me” (Heb 10:5)...  My food is to do the will of my Father."
()

"Lord Jesus Christ, you were made obedient unto death, and your name was exalted above all others. Teach us always to do the Father’s will, so that, made holy by obedience which unites us to the sacrifice of your body, we can expect your great love in times of sorrow and sing a new song to our God."
()


080325

Aug. 3rd, 2025 08:44 pm
ieroaima: (Default)

Homily today =
Rich in God's sight = GENEROUS = GRACE ABUNDANCE TRUST
Everything God gives us is meant to serve and benefit others

BLOOD ON THE ROSE.

Talking to many neighbors!
Charlene, Paul, Mike, Nick
Remember Shahrooz's pizza later too!
It's good to have community on a Sunday.
Saint Paul book daily reflection fits this exactly

SPHERAE INSPIRATION OUT OF NOWHERE????
THANK YOU GOD!!!!!

Fighting the OCD hard today!

Still obsessing over this weeks schedule, with catsitting Baby.
I think I'll spend the evenings with her. I'll bring my laptop and do my work there, to keep her company.
Maybe I'll go over early before 7am mass, too, because she's used to mom bustling about before work from 5-6am anyway. That way it'll be more "normal" for her, with me there while mom's away. Maybe I'll say my "audio prayers" (Rosary, Saint Bridget, Ascension & Youversion reflections) during that time to give her the "noise" too; otherwise I'm very quiet!
In any case it's actually an "honor" to do this... it proves that my mother trusts me, and her boyfriend trusts me, to be in their house with their beloved cat for 5 days. In the past this NEVER would have happened; I was too criminal. But now, I'm being invited into their home, even asked to be there, and my presence isn't a threat or burden or problem. That... that is huge. That is solid proof that I have changed for the better, significantly and genuinely so, by God's grace, even since last year. Do not downplay or devalue this fact.



------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the tabs are cleaned up as of yesterday! So finally we can focus back on the Biblehub commentaries & etymology

Hopefully finishing Hebrews 12:17 today.

OH WAIT FIRST it's Alexander Maclaren homily time!! I LOVE his insights; prepare for MUCH copypasting of it

‼️‼️ "...what Esau is represented as seeking, and seeking with tears in vain, is not repentance, but the Father’s blessing."
(Vital note = you CANNOT disconnect the two!!)
("Tears in vain" = tears that ARE vanity; they were not of a "godly sorrow" but of a worldly one!! He wept for material loss and the grief of a lost benefit; he wept out of regret but not remorse. His hopes were dashed all at once and the blow was indeed painful; of course he cried! He assumed he had lost his last chance TO be blessed by his father, too, who I feel I rightly assume was dear to him. So his tears were valid and legitimate and real... BUT VAIN. They could not retrieve or restore what was lost or taken away. They could not coerce his father to make a similar effort. And, they could not achieve anything of spiritual value. His tears were ALL FOR HIMSELF, in the end. THAT'S what made them useless!)

⭐‼️"The character of Esau is a very simple one. In many respects he is much more attractive and admirable than his brother Jacob."
(Very interesting thoughts here. First= an Ironic parallel of "simple" to Gen 25:27= Jacob is there described as "simple" (CPDV) in contrast to Esau; the Hebrew word is "tam" and is more often translated as "complete." So it ideally fits the more subtle Greek translation of "simple" seen in uses of "haplous", "akakos," "akeraios"= meaning "clear," "innocent," "harmless," "guileless"= an "undivided" and/or "unmixed" heart and soul. Jacob was not so at first, in his behaviors or motives, BUT I like to think that the description of "tam" was more of a "prophetic declaration" over him; a recognition & designation of the true kernel of his heart, regardless of current immaturity, that he was called to grow into through grace. In that way he is indeed the "type" for ALL the "children of Israel" in future ages. God calls us to be blameless & perfect before Him– to be "tam"– and we ARE so, in Christ, whose entire life proved Him as the fulfillment of Israel. He MADE us "tam", "complete," in Himself, through His utter simplicity of heart & soul: Christ was about ONE THING = doing the Will of His Father, Who Himself is divinely simple. (https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/what-is-divine-simplicity)
ON THE OTHER HAND... For Esau being "simple," we can refer to the Hebrew word "pthiy"= the "silly," "gullible," "thoughtless," "easily misled"– literally, the "seductible"... someone easily enticed or deluded. It is explicitly a lack of wisdom, knowledge, and prudence. New Testament Greek renders "simple" as "idiotes"!! But there it means one who is merely"ignorant"; a man "unlearned & unrefined" but not necessarily "bad;" the Greek focuses more on a lack of "gifts" and "education," not morality. That potential aspect of "simple" men is clear in the Hebrew = a man who is "ignorant & unlearned" in WISDOM is thus entirely prone to folly & evil persuasion; left to his own natural human ignorance, he will easily be lured into lust for the lies of the world. Calling Esau "simple", therefore, is actually more merciful than calling him an outright "fool" ("kesil")= THAT word "is not intellectual deficiency but spiritual and moral obstinacy". Thank God, we have proof of this being the case in Genesis 27= Esau has apparently grown in virtue, meeting his long-gone and once-hated brother with a wholehearted, reconciliatory embrace... and joyful tears. Perhaps, in his "simplicity," he had a secret grace– there was ultimately "no room" in him for the complexity of cunning that Jacob could foster. Esau may have been equally capable of "letting go" of his hot emotions as he was of feeling them to begin with. Was Rebekah right? Or was it only God's grace in faithfully blessing Esau despite his own failures that moved his heart to let go of vengeance, seeing that under Providence he hadn't lost what he had needed? In any case, his tears now are the opposite of vain– they are "simple," guileless and unmixed, and a blessing to his brother.)
(Second thought = building on the "simplicity ("akeraios") of God/Jesus" in contrast to the "simplicity ("pthiy") of Esau", the homily calls Esau "more attractive and admirable than his brother Jacob (Israel)." I immediately thought of Isaiah 53:2. This is another striking contrast between the "earthly man," Esau– his very name like "Adam" himself out of the "red dirt"– and Jesus, the "firstborn of God," Himself the true Israel, the new "Adam" from heaven. Esau, all rugged & manly & powerful, is indeed "attractive" from a natural viewpoint. But Jesus, judged as meek & mild & maybe even effeminate & weak (despite probably having the build of the carpenter He was), "had no stately form or majesty" in worldly men's sight; "no special appearance that we should want to follow Him." Esau was all muscle and bright red hair, a real "man's man," definitely an eye-catching and charismatic figure. Yet Scripture tells us, with shocking bluntness, that Jesus "wasn't some handsome king. Nothing about the way he looked made him attractive to us"... "He had no beauty that we should desire him." Remember what "pthiy" means. Jesus doesn't seduce anyone. He has zero appeal to those "unlearned" in the things of God. Those people are too busy chasing after the empty promises of the devil– too busy flirting with idols. You all know how that ends. Even so, as much as He yearned to be yearned for, Jesus didn't ever try to win anyone over with appearances, even the "simple" who would be "attracted" to glory & glamour. That would still be manipulative, and it would only attract shallow admirers and curiosity seekers. No, Jesus wanted Love, and Love HAS to be FREE. So He refused to even risk giving even the slightest impression that He was "seducing the people"– despite the claims of the religious leaders (Saint Paul also dealt with this). Jesus was purposefully "unattractive". He was "plainer" than Jacob, "dwelling along the tents" of humanity, a humble Shepherd, living with His Mother... you get the idea. But the big point here is = people with "simple-headed," "worldly," "profane" hearts like Esau will find him attractive and admirable, but not Jesus. On the other hand, "innocent", "wise," and "spiritual" hearts through the grace OF Jesus will find in Him a beauty and glory beyond all telling, and will desire Him more than life itself.)
(Also remember God describing DAVID versus his brothers at his anointing?? 1 Samuel 16:6-7 + 12; interesting inclusion of BOTH these ideas in one man)
(As for being "admirable," the same principle stands, in reference to virtue. We'll get to that in the next paragraph. In short, though, the spiritual man will only admire in Esau what he first recognizes in Christ Jesus. The worldly man will admire in Esau those "worldly virtues" that Jesus stands in blatant contradiction to, or those innate "human virtues" that Jesus naturally does display, but not in any way they can recognize.)

⭐⭐‼️"[Esau] is frank, generous, quick to kindle into anger but quick to forgive; placable, easily to be entreated; with the wild Arab virtues of chivalry and generosity and bravery; and the vices belonging to such a character, of almost utter incapacity to rise beyond the present, and of a great susceptibility to mere material and sensual gratification."
(I honestly love that Mr. McLaren has taken the loving care to discern and declare actual virtues displayed in Esau, even in what little we know of him, and how unfavorable most of it admittedly is. THIS is how you live out 1 Corinthians 13:7.)


‼️‼️‼️"The birthright is a long way off, very unsubstantial, very ideal, and the thing that is nearest him, though it be small, shuts out from his view the far greater thing that lies beyond. Therefore he elects to secure present gratification of a material character, whatever becomes of future satisfaction of a higher and more spiritual nature. And are you going to throw stones at him for that? ...Is there nobody here that believes more in wealth than in purity? Is there no young man here who would rather live to make a fortune than to cultivate his own nature into loftiest beauty? Are there none of you that despise the priceless things, the things that have no price in the market because they are beyond all its wealth to purchase? Are there none of us who are such fools that a [tangible] spoonful of pottage today seems to us to be more real and more precious than a whole [invisible] heaven hereafter?"


⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Esau had a show of reason [according to this world]. He said: ‘I am ready to die, and what will my birthright do for me?’ [But it is] Better a thousand times that he, or we, [when making a moral decision would come at significant physical cost,] should die "as animals" [do, by willingly submitting even to death by means of hunger or cold or illness or violence, in order] that we may live [instead in eternity] as the sons of God, than that we should buy [mere animal] existence at the price of true life [by choosing to preserve or protect our mortal body and health by unjust, immoral, or ungodly means]."


"...his faults are nothing at all extraordinary, but only putting in graphic form, and in such disproportion as to be almost absurd, the choice that the mass of men always make between present and future, between the material and the spiritual."
(This framing of Esau as a "symbol of man's internal struggle" is so important to discern & ponder. Scripture DOES do this FREQUENTLY; it is FULL of types & patterns & symbols & themes, motifs & memes & metaphors, because it is the true story of all mankind, of every human soul, and we are MEANT to discover ourselves in every word of it, because we ARE there, just as we are all in Adam, and are called to be in Christ. Scripture has literally infinite depth and application to every single person's individual life as a result. You cannot study it without studying yourself in the very process. And so when we read about Esau and Jacob, every one of us is reading about not only those real men of old, our ancestors and brothers, but also about ourselves, connected to them through Adam if not by Abraham, and knowing in our common life what it means to be human, to be a creature of God, in these broken bodies and in this broken world, yet always and incomprehensibly embraced by endless invincible grace.)

‼️"...afterwards, we do not know how long, he found out what a fool he had been..."
(Notable= it took THAT LONG because that realization was apparently ONLY POSSIBLE through his FACING THE CONCRETE CONSEQUENCES of his decision. Esau had a "sensual" mind; so he needed a "sensible" demonstration of the "unseen outcome" of his choice for it to make sense to him??? The birthright had just been an "intangible idea" to him; it was only "real" in theory; unless acted upon, it was effectively "unreal." The soup was not, in blunt contrast; nor was his hunger. They were tangibly existent to him, right then. He did not have the capacity for true"faith"– to trust, based on the trustworthiness of another, that what they "promised" to him in a yet unseeable, ungraspable, even uncertain future was nevertheless both in their power and possession TO give, and WOULD be given at the proper time. But Esau was blinded by the threat of death, judging all intangible future things as its hapless prey by default, surrendering them all to its jaws when it growled in his hunger. Esau seems to have had no real faith in spiritual realities, and therefore he also had no hope. If he did, he would not have sold his grounds for it for the paltry price of stew. "But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait eagerly for it with patience and composure." None of that was so with Esau. He didn't feel like a fool for what he did because it was "reasonable" to his stunted understanding and earthly priorities. His "foolishness"– his impatient lack of foresight, and ignorance of the big picture– only became apparent to him when the consequences of his repudiation were manifested in a sensible manner: in the words of his father, and the actions of his brother, that had been directly affected by his failure to stop and think instead of feeling.)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"There is no sign of sorrow for SIN, of repentance in that sense of the word, [in Esau,] but if we take the word not in the religious meaning, but in what may be called its secular significance, there are in Esau’s case, as recorded in Genesis, both the elements of a decided alteration of mind and purpose, and of penitence and sorrow for the past.... there is in him a decided and fundamental change of view, of mind, as to the value of the birthright that he had despised, and that is repentance; and there is bitter sorrow for what had passed, and that is repentance; and there is earnest desire that it might be different, and that is a sign of repentance."
(THE FACT THAT THERE IS A "SECULAR / RELIGIOUS" DISTINCTION OF REPENTANCE IS ABSOLUTELY VITAL!!! IT'S HONESTLY A GAME-CHANGER IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE.)

"[Esau] found no field on which such 'repentance' as he had could operate, so as to undo that which was past. His repentance did not alter the fixed destination of the blessing. His repentance, his change of mind as to the worth of the thing thrown away, and as to his own conduct in despising it, did not bring the thing back again to him. His tears did not obliterate what was done. He wished that it had been otherwise, but his wishes were vain."

🌟🌟🌟🌟 Here, take this whole next bit because it DESCRIBES MY EXACT STRUGGLE WITH MY DARK HISTORY and as always, Mr. MacLaren's brutally honest and beautifully vivid language stabs me straight through to the heart 🌟🌟🌟🌟

"And that is the lesson, my brethren, which this text as it stands is intended to teach us. We are pointed back to that tragic picture of Esau there, weeping, wringing his hands in the wild passion of his uncultured nature, when the blessing, seen to be desirable too late, had vanished from his convulsive grasp. And the lesson that is taught us is just this old solemn one. There may come in your life a time when the scales will fall from your eyes, and you will see how insignificant and miserable are the present gratifications for which you have sold your birthright, and may wish the bargain undone which cannot be undone. You cannot wash out bitter memories, you cannot blot out habits by a wish. Tears will not alter the irrevocable, you cannot avert consequences that fall upon a man, the consequences of a lifetime, by any weeping and wringing of your hands, and by any wish that they might disappear. ‘What I have written I have written,’ said Pilate, and in tragic sense it is true about many a man who at the end looks back upon many ‘a line which dying he would wish to blot,’ but which stands ineffaceable, not to be scratched out by any of your penknives, unless you can cut out the substance of the soul on which it is written."

"My brother! learn the lesson. You young men and women, do you begin right, that there may not be, in your career, deeds or a set of the life which one day you may wake to see has been all madness and misery! Oh! it is an awful thing for men to stand looking back upon a past life which to them appears as the vale of Sodom, on the morning after the eruption, did to Abraham as he looked on it from Mature, ‘and lo! the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace.’ So foul with slime-pits of boiling bitumen, the indulged lusts of the flesh, and dark with curling smoke-wreaths which tell of infernal fires wasting the fields that might have waved fruitful with harvests, the dark remembrances and blighting habits of sin set on fire of hell, does many a man’s life lie spread out to his gaze. How fain would he cancel the record, if he could! How fain would he forget and reverse the history! How fain would he bring back his early innocence of these lusts and crimes! In vain! in vain! The past stands - ‘Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.’"

"I know, thank God for the knowledge, I know that - as we shall have to say presently - any man, at any moment of his earthly career, may find, if he seeks for it, the mercy of the Lord which bringeth salvation, but I know too that the salvation which comes to a man who has all his life been giving himself up to earth, and limiting his views and moulding his character by the present and its contemptible objects, will not be as large, as full, as blessed in many an aspect, as the salvation which might have been his if at an early stage in his life, with his character still to mould, and his memory still unwritten with evil, he had turned himself to his God, and found peace in the blood of Jesus Christ. Maimed and marred in a thousand ways, having memories which burn and sting, having habits which it will be hard to fight against; with the marks of thee gyves upon his wrists; and his eyes unaccustomed to the daylight, like the prisoner that came out of the Bastille after a lifetime of imprisonment there, and wanted to go back again because he could not bear freedom and sunshine: so many a man brought to God and saved yet so as by fire, near the end of his days, has to feel that it is not 'all the same' whether a lifetime has been spent in the temple and priestly service, or in the foul haunts of vice and debauchery."

"We shall always have as much of God as we can hold, and as much of salvation as we desire; but the tragic thing is that a life spent in living, Esau-like, for the world and for the present, lames our desires and limits our capacities, so that even if such a man afterwards become a Christian, it may be impossible even for the giving God to give us as large a bestowment of His mercy and grace as we might otherwise have possessed. On the other side it is not to be forgotten: ‘the publicans and the harlots shall go into the Kingdom of God before you,’ Pharisees and Sadducees. And there is such a thing as the deep repentance and the passionate trust with which a soul, all spattered and befouled with fleshly sins, may cleave to the Master that may overcome even these disabilities of which I have spoken. But in the main it remains true that even if Esau at the last gets a blessing, he bears away a less blessing than he might have done had his earlier life been different."

...seriously, we need, if at all possible, to journal extensively about ALL of that.



⭐⭐⭐⭐ "...if a man desire to repent, he must have changed his views as to the conduct of which he desires to repent, and that change of View IS the repentance which he desires. And if a man desires to repent, there must be in him some measure of regret and sorrow for the conduct Of which he desires to repent, considered as sin against God, and that IS repentance."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "To desire [our salvation] is to possess [it]; to possess in the measure of the desire, and according to its reality. There is no such thing in the spiritual realm as a real longing unfulfilled: ‘Whosoever will, let him come and take of the water of life freely.’ And the awful pictures that have been drawn of men weeping because they "could not repent," and of men with passionate tears imploring from the Father in heaven the blessing which "does not come to them", are slanders upon God and misapprehensions of His Gospel. That Gospel proclaims that wheresoever and whosoever will ask shall receive, or rather, that God has already given, and that nothing but obstinate determination not to possess prevents any man from being enriched with the fulness of God’s salvation."

‼️‼️‼️ "Only remember, dear brethren, it is possible for a man to wish vagrantly, with half his will, to wish in a languid fashion, to wish while he is not prepared to surrender what stands in the way of his wish being gratified. And such [lukewarm] wishing as that never got salvation, and never will. There are plenty of people that would like to "be saved" as they understand it, and [would like] to be sure that they are so, who are not prepared to close with the terms of salvation. It is not wishing of that sort that I am talking about [when I speak of true wishes]. Heaven may be had for the wishing, but it must be an honest wish, it must be out-and-out wishing, it must be wishing which actuates the life, it must be wishing which drives you to the Cross of Christ. And then, in the measure of the desire shall be the gift; and the larger the petition, the larger the benediction which comes fluttering down from heaven on to your head and into your heart."

"We have all sold our birthright, but we have a Brother in Whom we may win it back, the elder Brother of us prodigals, who, instead of grudging us the fatted calf and the festival welcome, Himself has died that they may be ours; and that no penitence may be unavailing, nor any longing be unsatisfied, forevermore.
Whatever we are, whatever has been our past, however embruted in sensual vice, however entangled in material gains, we have but to turn ourselves to that gracious Lord our Brother, in Whom the Father blesses us with all heavenly blessings, and we shall share in the birthright of His firstborn Son, ‘being heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ.’"

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "...The object which Esau aimed at in his so-called repentance [by tears, was] the change of his father's determination to give the chief blessing to Jacob. Had he sought real repentance with tears he would have found it (Mt 7:7). But he did not find it because this was not what he sought. What proves his tears were not those of one seeking true repentance is, immediately after he was foiled in his desire, he resolved to murder Jacob! He shed tears, not for his sin, but for his suffering the penalty of his sin. His were tears of vain regret and remorse, not of repentance."

‼️‼️"Before, he might have had the blessing without tears; afterwards, no matter how many tears he shed, he was rejected. Let us use the time!"
(MATTHEW 25:1-13!!!)

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "The language is framed to apply to profane despisers who wilfully cast away grace, and seek "repentance"– that is not real; but [only seeking to] escape from the penalty of their sin– but in vain... Tears are no proof of real repentance."
(The Bible reference they give is 1 Samuel 24:16-17 = "When David finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, “Is that your voice, my son David?” Then Saul wept loudly. He said to David, “You are more innocent than I, for you have treated me well, even though I have tried to harm you!" TWO CHAPTERS LATER Saul goes after him AGAIN with a similar conclusion= "Saul replied, “I have sinned. Come back, my son David. I won’t harm you, for you treated my life with value this day. I have behaved foolishly and have made a very terrible mistake!”" And then he STILL DOESN'T ACTUALLY CHANGE. Honestly though I think Saul was legit mentally ill. He possibly WAS genuinely sorry in that moment, but his headspace was so screwed up that amidst the tumult of his emotions & poor reasoning it didn't stick.)
(In contrast, TRUE tears of repentance are wept FOR GOD and BEFORE GOD ALONE, with spontaneous purity of heart– not for show, or in any attempt to twist His Arm!)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Tears are not an infallible sign of repentance: men may be more concerned for the loss and mischief that come by sin, than for the evil that is in it; and such repentance is not sincere; it does not spring from love to God, or a concern for his glory; nor does it bring forth proper fruits."

"as Esau’s sin was, such was his penalty... How therefore should these Hebrews, knowing all this, root out such a root springing up in themselves, or others, that they might not be guilty of such sin; lest having despised God’s blessing for their own ease, honours, or profits in this world, when they may desire to seek with tears the blessing of the eternal inheritance from God, he should irreversibly reject them."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "The fool in the Bible [is] the one who does not want to learn, from the experience of visible things, that nothing lasts forever... that all things pass away, youth and physical strength, [even] amenities and important roles. Making one's life depend on such an ephemeral reality [as this world and our human ideas within it] is therefore foolishness. The person who trusts in the Lord, on the other hand, does not fear the adversities of life, nor the inevitable reality of death: he is the person who has acquired a wise heart, like the Saints."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

080225

Aug. 2nd, 2025 08:42 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Accidentally woke up at 5am
This worked in my favor because I FORGOT TODAY IS FIRST SATURDAY so I actually had time to say morning prayers


Psalm 24 hits different now after this Genesis 25+ Bible study


I think the BIG message God is giving me through this unexpected Scripture study focus is that I AM BOTH JACOB AND ESAU.





------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hebrews 12:16 snips.
https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hebrews/12-16.htm


‼️ "Esau is mentioned as a type of “the profane,” who care not for divine things, but only for the gains and pleasures of this world."

⭐‼️‼️‼️"Where persons fail of having the true grace of God, corruption will prevail and break forth; beware lest any unmortified lust in the heart, which seems to be dead, should spring up, to trouble and disturb the whole body. Falling away from Christ is the fruit of preferring the delights of the flesh, to the blessing of God, and the heavenly inheritance, as Esau did. But sinners will not always have such mean thoughts of the Divine blessing and inheritance as they now have. It agrees with the profane man's disposition, to desire the blessing, yet to despise the means whereby the blessing is to be gained. But God will neither sever the means from the blessing, nor join the blessing with the satisfying of man's lusts. God's mercy and blessing were never sought carefully and not obtained."

‼️‼️‼️ ""Lest there be any fornicator"... Allusion is made to Esau as an example, who, himself a corrupt and profane man, for a trifle threw away the highest honor which as a son he could have. Many have regarded the word used here as referring to idolatry, or defection from the true religion to a false one..."

‼️‼️ "The word "profane" here refers to one who... treats religion with contempt, or has no reverence for what is sacred. This may be shown by words [and by conduct]; by the manner; by a sneer; by neglect of religion; or by openly renouncing the privileges which might be connected with our salvation. The allusion here is to one who should openly cast off all the hopes of religion for indulgence in temporary pleasure, as Esau gave up his birthright for a trifling gratification. In a similar manner, the young, for temporary (worldly) gratification, neglect or despise all the privileges and hopes resulting from their being born in the bosom of the church; from being baptized and consecrated to God (as "firstborn"!) and from being trained up in the lap of piety (to fit that role)"

‼️‼️‼️ "It is clearly implied here that Esau sustained the character of a fornicator and a profane person. The former appellation is probably given to him to denote his licentiousness shown by his marrying many wives, and particularly foreigners..."

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "The birth-right, in his circumstances, was a high honor. The Promise respecting the inheritance of the land of Canaan, the coming of the Messiah, and the preservation of the true religion, had been given to Abraham and Isaac, and was to be transmitted by them. As the oldest son, all the honor connected with this, and which is now associated with the name Jacob, would have properly appertained to Esau. But he undervalued it. He lived a licentious life. He followed his corrupt propensities, and gave the reins to indulgence. In a time of temporary distress, also, he showed how little he really valued all this, by bartering it away for a single meal of victuals. Rather than bear the evils of hunger for a short period, and evidently in a manner implying a great undervaluing of the honor which he held as the first-born son in a pious line, he agreed to surrender all the privileges connected with his birth. It was this which made the appellation [of a "profane" man] appropriate to him; and this will make the appellation appropriate in any similar instance."

⭐ "The birth-right seems to have implied the first place or rank in the family; the privilege of offering sacrifice and conducting worship in the absence or death of the father; a double share of the inheritance, and in this instance, the honor of being in the line of the patriarchs, and transmitting the promises made to Abraham and Isaac. What Esau parted with, we can easily understand by reflecting on the honors which have clustered around the name of Jacob."

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Fornication is nearly akin to gluttony, Esau's sin. He profanely cast away his spiritual privilege for the gratification of his palate... The smallness of the inducement only aggravates the guilt of casting away eternity for such a trifle, so far is it from being a claim for mercy (compare Ge 3:6). One single act has often the greatest power either for good or for evil."


⭐‼️‼️‼️""his birthright" —Greek, "his own (so the oldest manuscripts read, intensifying the suicidal folly and sin of the act) rights of primogeniture," involving the high spiritual privilege of being ancestor of the promised Seed, and heir of the promises in Him. The Hebrews whom Paul addressed, had, as Christians, the spiritual rights of primogeniture: he intimates that they must exercise holy self-control, if they wish not, like Esau, to forfeit them... An example well fitted to strike needful horror into the Hebrews, whosoever of them, like Esau, were only sons of Isaac according to the flesh."


‼️❓""uncleanness", Greek pornov, is not to be taken so strictly, as only to note "fornication" as uncleanness committed by unmarried persons, but all sorts of pollution and filthiness..."

‼️‼️""bebhlov" imports one who had a bitter frame of spirit against the first table (of the Law); one of an impure mind towards God, opposite to godliness, who neglects and spurns at holy things, rolling itself in its own pleasures, riches, & honours, with a despising of God, His grace, and His glory."

‼️‼️"Esau... was most notoriously profane, who irreligiously undervalued and despised the blessing of the birthright, to which was entailed by God the double portion, the priesthood and dominion over the family, the blessings of the covenant, and the being a type of Christ; he basely and impiously gave it away to his younger brother, slighting it, and freely and fully making it over to him, and all for one eating, the base gratifying of his sensual appetite but once."

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Many live as enemies of the cross of Christ... They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth... those who indulge the corrupt desires of the flesh and despise authority... who are abandoned to sensuality-- craving, as they do, for polluted things, and scorning control. Fool-hardy and self-willed... They aren't afraid to insult the [Lord's] glory... These men are like irrational animals, creatures of instinct, born to be captured and destroyed. They blaspheme in matters they do not understand, and like such creatures, they too will be destroyed... Their destruction is their reward for the harm they have done. They love to indulge in evil pleasures in broad daylight. They are a disgrace and a stain among you. They delight in deception even as they eat with you in your fellowship meals... They proudly brag out loud about their stupid but high-sounding nonsense. And by being vulgar and crude, using sinful cravings of the flesh, they entice and trap people who have barely escaped from living the wrong kind of life... They promise these people freedom, but they themselves are slaves to corruption, depravity, and destructive habits. A person is a slave to whatever he gives in & succumbs to, and thus allows to defeat and conquer him... for a person is brought into bondage and controlled by whatever overcomes and masters him."

‼️‼️‼️ "[A "profane" man] is a transgressor of the first table of the law; who is an idolater, a swearer, a despiser of public worship and ordinances, and who behaves irreverently in divine service, and mocks at the future state, as Esau...  a mind as does not give God his due honour."

"The birthright was reckoned sacred; it was typical of the primogeniture of Christ; of the adoption of saints, and of the heavenly inheritance belonging thereunto; all which were despised by Esau: and so the Jewish paraphrases interpret the contempt of his birthright [as] a despising of his part in the world to come, and a denial of the resurrection of the dead: and his contempt of it was shown in his selling it; and this was aggravated by his selling it for "one morsel of meat"... and apply to him the passage in Proverbs 28:21 "for a piece of bread that man will transgress" (Also Ezekiel 13:19?)."

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Esau lightly parting with his religious privileges and his patrimony for a present gratification is an appropriate warning to those who day by day were tempted to win comfort and escape suffering by parting with their hope in Christ. The warning is pointed by the fate of Esau... his bargain was irrevocable... some time after the sale of the birthright Esau sought the blessing with tears but found his act was unalterableThe lesson written on Esau’s life as on that of all who miss opportunities is that the past is irreparable, and however much they may desire to recall and alter it, that cannot be... If now, through any temptation or pressure, you let go the benefits you have in Christ, you are committing yourselves to an act you cannot recall."

‼️‼️‼️"...the writer is probably alluding to the Jewish Hagadah, with which he was evidently familiar. There Esau is represented in the blackest colours, as a man utterly sensual, intemperate, and vile, which is also the view of Philo... Philo explained the word “hairy” to mean that he was sensuous and lustful... “intemperate and libidinous”... A man of coarse and unspiritual mind"... Lust and intemperance in eating are closely connected."

‼️""profane" denotes one outside the sphere of sanctity, and so debarred from sacred privileges."

‼️‼️‼️ "Esau... lost irrecoverably the privileges which in his profaneness he had scorned... The essential moral of his history is this: being the firstborn of Israel, and so the primary inheritor of the promises made to Abraham, he set no store by the privilege, and so lost it irretrievably. In early life he so lightly esteemed his birthright as the eldest born (carrying with it, as is supposed, in the patriarchal age, the priesthood of the family, and in his case, as might be presumed, the custody and transmission of the promises) that he parted with it for the gratification of a passing appetite. His words on that occasion expressed the limit of his aims and interests: "Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?" Later in life he nevertheless presented himself to claim the blessing of the firstborn from his dying father, but found that he had been forestalled. It does not appear that he had meanwhile changed his mode of life or made amends for his former carelessness; still, he felt now that he had lost something worth having, and was grieved exceedingly. But not even his "great and exceeding bitter cry" availed then to recover what was forfeited. And so neither he nor his seed had part or lot in the Abrahamic promises: the time of opportunity was gone forever."

‼️‼️"...the "great and exceeding bitter cry" to which allusion is made was, not because he could not himself repent, but because he could not get the blessing."

‼️‼️‼️"..."When he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected; for he found no place of repentance [i.e. of change of mind in the bestower of the blessing], though he sought it [i.e. such change of mind] with tears;" or, "When he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected (for he found no place of repentance), though he sought it [i.e. the blessing] with tears." If, the latter rendering being adopted, Esau's own repentance be intended, the idea maybe, either that there was no place left in which even a real repentance could avail, or that of a real repentance he had become incapable; for his tears might be those only of vexation and remorse, not expressing any more appreciation than before of the birthright in its religious aspect... his views of life had [not] risen above thoughts of worldly prosperity. We observe, further, that nothing is implied one way or the other as to Esau's own salvation; it is only the privilege of being the patriarch of the chosen seed that he is said to have thus irrecoverably forfeited."

⭐‼️ "...sacred privileges, if persistently slighted, may be lost beyond recovery. [Yet] the 'possible inefficacy' of a true repentance, however late... is not therefore necessarily implied of Christians with respect to their personal salvation; or that, if it is implied of them, it is not till their probation in this life is over that a "place of repentance" in this sense can for them be found no more..."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/hebrews/12-17.htm

‼️‼️‼️‼️ ""After the blessing had been bestowed on Jacob" = This afterward was probably not less than forty or fifty years after; for he sold his birthright when he was young, and now, when he wished to recover the blessing, Isaac was about one hundred and forty years old: so long, it seems, he lived in his sin, without any proper sense of it, or repentance for it. Things went prosperously with him in the world, and he did not consider what he had done, or what would be the end of it. But falling now into a new distress, he was filled with perplexity. And so it is with all secure sinners: while things go prosperously with them they can continue without remorse, but sooner or later their iniquity will find them out."

"When he would have inherited the blessing — The patriarchal blessing, of which he esteemed himself the presumptive heir, and which he knew not that he had virtually renounced BY selling his birthright. For the apostle here distinguishes between the birthright and the blessing: he sold his birthright, but would have inherited the blessing. And herein he was a type of the unbelieving Jews at that time; for they adhered to the outward things of the blessing, to the rejection of Him who was the whole life, soul, and power of it."

"...when he would have obtained what had been given to his younger brother, he was rejected — Namely, by his father; for he... Could by no means induce his father to alter his mind; though he sought [either] the blessing, or the repentance of his father... with tears— For, instead of repenting, his father confirmed the blessing of Jacob."

‼️‼️‼️‼️"Esau had discovered a great readiness to part with his birthright, and all that was annexed to it by divine institution; not considering, it seems, what it was significant of as to matters spiritual and heavenly. Hence he put so little value upon it, as to give it up for one morsel of meat. And afterward, regardless of what he had done, after the power of his present temptation was over, it is said he did eat and drink, and rose up and went his wayas a man utterly unconcerned about what had taken place; whereon the Holy Ghost adds that censure, "THUS Esau despised his birthright." He did not only sell it, but despised it. But he is represented on this occasion as being under great amazement, as if he had little thought to fall into such a condition. And thus, at one time or other, it will happen to all profane persons who refuse the mercy and privileges of the gospel; they shall, sooner or later, fall into a state of dreadful surprise. THEN shall they see and feel the horrible consequence of that conduct, and of those sins, which before they made nothing of."

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "The "blessing" here referred to was not that of the birth-right, which he knew he could not regain; but that [blessing specially] pronounced by the father Isaac on him whom he regarded as his first-born son. This Jacob obtained by fraud, when Isaac really "meant" to bestow it on Esau. Isaac appears to have been ignorant wholly of the bargain which Jacob and Esau had made in regard to the birth-right, and Jacob and his mother contrived in this way to have that confirmed which Jacob had obtained of Esau by contract. The sanction of the father, it seems, was necessary, before it could be made sure, and Rebecca and Jacob understood that the dying blessing of the aged patriarch would establish it all. It was obtained by dishonesty on the part of Jacob; but so far as Esau was concerned, it was an act of righteous retribution for the little regard he had shown for the honor of his birth."

⭐⭐⭐‼️"...once the blessing had passed the lips of his father, he found it impossible to change it. Isaac firmly declared that he had "pronounced" the blessing, and though it had been obtained by fraud, yet as it was of the nature of a divine prediction, it could not now be changed. He had not indeed intended that it should be thus. He had pronounced a blessing on another which had been designed for him. But still, the benediction had been given. The prophetic words had been pronounced. By divine direction the truth had been spoken, and how could it be changed? It was impossible now to reverse the divine purposes in the case, and hence, the "blessing" must stand as it had been spoken."

"The decision of God on the human character and destiny will soon be pronounced. That decision will be according to truth, and cannot be changed. If we should despise our privileges as Esau did his birth-right, and renounce our religion, it would be impossible to recover what we had lost. There would be no possibility of changing the divine decision in the case, for it would be determined forever. This passage, therefore... should be used to keep us from disregarding our privileges, from turning away from the true religion, from slighting the favors of the gospel, and from neglecting religion until death comes; because when God has once pronounced a sentence excluding us from his favor, no tears, or pleading, or effort of our own can change Him. The sentence which he pronounces on the scoffer, the impenitent, the hypocrite, and the apostate, is one that will abide forever without change. This passage, therefore, is in accordance with the doctrine more than once stated before in this Epistle, that if a Christian should really apostatize, it would be impossible that he should be saved."

He despised his birthright, accordingly also he was despised and rejected when he wished to have the blessing. As in the believer's case, so in the unbeliever's, there is an "afterwards" coming, when the believer shall look on his past griefs, and the unbeliever on his past joys, in a very different light from that in which they were respectively viewed at the time." ..."He that will not when he may, when he will, shall have nay"."

Proverbs 1:24-31 ERV
[24] “I tried to help, but you refused to listen. I offered my hand, but you turned away from me. [25] You ignored my advice and refused to be corrected. [26] So I will laugh at your troubles and make fun of you when what you fear happens. [27] Disasters will strike you like a storm. Problems will pound you like a strong wind. Trouble and misery will weigh you down. [28] “Fools will call for me, but I will not answer. They will look for me, but they will not find me. [29] That is because they hated knowledge. They refused to fear and respect the Lord. [30] They ignored my advice and refused to be corrected. [31] They filled their lives with what they wanted. They went their own way, so they will get what they deserve."




------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm actually going to quit the Jewish commentary because although its interesting, it's NOT Christ-oriented, and it is consistently full of theories and questions as a result.
However if I come across something convicting or relevant to my life as a Christian, I will paste it here for edification's sake.

I will clean up and comment on it later, if and when I have time. Today I am too rushed for time. But for now I at least want all the data together in one coherent place.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lots of contextual datalogging after this point
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://goodquestionblog.com/2014/03/27/why-couldnt-god-defeat-jacob-in-a-wrestling-match/
(A quick revisit of Genesis 32 while I'm on this site!)

⭐⭐⭐❤ "So what was God trying to demonstrate in this wrestling match by limiting himself to human powers? When he blesses and renames Jacob he says, “You have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” So he had probably been giving Jacob an opportunity to demonstrate, in a dramatic way on a single occasion, the tenacity and endurance God had seen him develop throughout 20 difficult years in exile. Those years had transformed Jacob from a conniving and grasping young man to the mature leader of a large clan who was now willing to face the brother he’d cheated and make things right with him... God considers it “an excellent thing” for the character qualities Jacob has developed to become known, and so He arranges (personally!) for a demonstration of them, in the form of this wrestling match. (We might similarly see some of our struggles in life as an opportunity that God is giving us to demonstrate the character we have been developing.)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️❤ "[God told Jacob ] “You have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” How can a person “overcome” God? ...I think it means that Jacob, in a desire to get back home from exile (something only God could make possible), determinedly worked through everything in his life that would have KEPT God from LETTING him to go back. When he was finally heading home, he testified to Laban about the honesty and integrity he had developed: “I bore the loss myself,” he said, if any of Laban’s flocks were torn by wild beasts or stolen. So we might say that Jacob was “wrestling” with God all those 20 years in exile, striving to become the kind of person God could safely send back to Canaan to continue the line of covenant promise. The wrestling match just before he got back home was a dramatic demonstration of what had been going on all along. God took on human form and limited powers in order to make that demonstration."

(I NEED TO COMMENT ON THIS ASAP. IT IS EXACTLY MY SITUATION.)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://drelisblog.com/blessing-stolen-and-returned


we argue that Jacob returned the firstborn blessing to Esau, establishing himself as a repentant man worthy of becoming the father of God’s people, Israel.

Jacob got a taste of his own medicine. He too was savagely tricked.

"Despite the hardships Jacob faced in Paddan Aram, it would be a mistake to assume the stolen blessing was without effect. The power of the stolen blessing transformed Jacob’s limited resources into tremendous wealth and passive income... Even though the blessing was not Jacob’s, it possessed a power that no human faults could hinder."

"The blessing of Abraham, which Isaac had passed to Jacob, was powerfully at work. God spoke to Jacob: “I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land” (Gen 31:13).
Laban was unwilling to let Jacob go, forcing him to flee, just as he had once fled from Esau. Now he had to run in the opposite direction. It is important to understand that the original and intended readers of the Book of Genesis were ancient Israelites who had recently escaped slavery in Egypt. Jacob’s servitude to Laban resonated with them because they also knew how hard it was to escape their master."

When Jacob confronted Laban, he boldly recounted the suffering he endured...

Jacob’s trials did not end with this confrontation... Here again deceit plays a central role. 

Jacob humbly referred to himself as Esau’s slave. The modern word “servant” is correct but obscures the original meaning to some degree. Jacob acknowledges his brother’s authority and dominion over him. 

Fear gripped Jacob, convinced that Esau was coming to kill him in revenge for his treachery twenty years earlier... Jacob called upon the God of his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac, boldly asking Him to fulfill His promise to make his descendants as numerous as the sand of the sea. In an act of repentance, Jacob sought to return the stolen blessing by selecting generous gifts of livestock for Esau. The proportions of the animals were carefully chosen to ensure Esau’s herds would prosper exponentially, both physically and symbolically returning the stolen blessing of the firstborn."

"Even though Jacob feared for his life and the lives of his loved ones, his trust in God’s promise ultimately prevailed. But NOT UNTIL Jacob wrestled with a mysterious figure who blessed him and changed his name to Israel. This encounter was a rare divine intervention to ensure that Jacob, the father of God’s people Israel, would not change his mind about meeting Esau. HAD he done so, he would have REMAINED a supplanter of his brother, a thief. God’s special messenger declared to Jacob/Israel that, having wrestled with God, he would from now on overcome people. Despite his fear, Jacob persevered and continued his journey towards the promised land..."

⭐⭐⭐ "Jacob’s approach reflected his [new] priorities. Rather than hiding, Jacob went ahead, bowing seven times to acknowledge Esau’s full and rightful claim to the blessing of the firstborn he had stolen. What followed left Jacob speechless: Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. Then they wept together."
(PRODIGAL SON VIBES????)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "The translation obscures several more Hebrew insights. Esau said, “I already have plenty/abundance (rav), my brother. Keep what you have for yourself”. Esau seems to have deliberately used the Hebrew word (rav), meaning “much” or “abundance,” invoking the word of the Lord spoken to their mother Rebekah many years ago: “And the older ("abundant") will serve the younger ("little")/ or vice versa". Perhaps most significantly, Jacob used two distinct Hebrew terms to describe his animal gifts to Esau: 1. ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, accept my gift (minchati)…’ The root of (minchah) is related to a gift, offering, or tribute given to someone, often in a religious or ceremonial context. 2. ‘Please accept my blessing (birchati) that was brought to you…’ Jacob first asks Esau to accept his gift (minchati), but then shifts to “my blessing” (birchati), explicitly acknowledging the stolen blessing he is now returning. Unfortunately, many translations fail to capture the distinction between gift and blessing, using words like “present” or “gift” instead. Others accurately use the word “blessing.” By doing so, the first group of translations neglects to recognize that Jacob is offering back to Esau the blessing of the firstborn, which he had previously taken from him."

⭐⭐⭐"Jacob’s journey unveils a timeless truth: God’s grace transforms even our gravest mistakes into pathways of redemption. The blessing he stole from Esau, driven by youthful ambition and his mother’s misguided counsel, did not deliver the prosperity or dominance he sought. Instead, it brought trials that tested his spirit and reshaped his heart. Through these struggles, Jacob learned that true blessings flow not from human schemes but from God’s unshakable promises. The blessing of Abraham— God’s presence, a multitude of descendants, and a promised land— became Jacob’s anchor, guiding him through deception, hardship, and loss. In his courageous act of returning the stolen birthright to Esau, marked by genuine repentance, Jacob shed the weight of his past and stepped into his divine calling as Israel, the father of God’s people. Jacob’s story inspires us to let go of selfish ambitions and embrace God’s faithful promises. It beckons us to walk humbly, trusting in a God Who redeems our failures, heals our wounds, and leads us into a future filled with hope, purpose, and abundant life.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://lighthousefellowship.co.uk/esau-the-man-who-sold-his-birthright/

"Esau looked at the fact that he was hungry and decided that a meal today was better than a blessing tomorrow. Why should he have to wait for his father to die when it could take years for it to happen, when he could have a filling meal now? So he gave away his future for a bowl of soup."

"As the oldest son Esau would have inherited the bulk of Isaac’s wealth. This would have included, cattle, sheep, monies, as well as servants. His younger brother would have been expected to follow him. He would have been acknowledged as the head of the house with all the rights and privileges that went with the position. Remember their grandfather Abraham had been a very wealthy man... Isaac who would inherit all his wealth... would have been a very wealthy young man at the death of his father, then went on and increased his wealth even more..."
(This knew knowledge really highlights the starkly ludicrous contrast of real value between Esau's two choices, and the equally astonishing foolishness of his decision!)

‼️‼️ "Esau’s despising of his birthright showed his poor reasoning, which would show up again when the time came for him to marry. Instead of seeking his father’s help in choosing a wife, as Abraham had done when choosing Isaac’s wife Rebekah, Esau went and picked his own wives."
(The "poor reasoning" is here tied to SELFRELIANCE. "Lean NOT on your own understanding"!! He DIDN'T SEEK WISDOM, which is SPIRITUAL. He was perhaps TOO PROUD to "ask for help", or advice, or guidance, or even permission!! So he inevitably made "poor" decisions– true wealth is "wisdom," and wisdom begins with the fear of the LORD. Esau apparently did not have that... and his marriage PROVES it. He "picked his OWN wives" = he "chose his OWN religion"!! Remember how inextricable marriage and covenant are as symbols! Esau did NOT honor GOD'S "engagement" to His chosen people, to Abraham’s family line! He effectively decided to "marry a prostitute" in comparison!)
(This is also a VITAL symbolic warning to today's culture, in which families LET their children choose BOTH their OWN "wives" AND religion. The parents often DON'T GIVE any wisdom in those respects, because they DON'T HAVE ANY. They live a relativistic life. They LACK and may even REJECT any true sense of spiritual legacy or direction or calling or purpose. So their children are simply left to make their own equally impoverished decisions.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Jacob learnt and understood the value of the birthright and held that knowledge against the day that it could be used... The kingdom that Esau could have built was destroyed because of his lack of knowledge."
(THIS IS WHY I DO SO MUCH OF THIS STUDYING & RESEARCH.)

⭐‼️‼️❓"Jacob was called "the trickster" [by Esau,] yet what is shown is that he was a smart man who sought after knowledge, and learnt how to use what he learnt to his benefit. Jacob knew that the birthright on its own would mean much without the blessing, but rather than give up, he sought [out the opportunity to own] both blessing and birthright, leading him to gain everything... his ability to understand the value of things would aid him in later life when dealing with his uncle Laban and even dealing with Esau. Jacob had knowledge and vision and used both to his advantage... while Jacobs manner [of doing so was indeed] deceitful, it was done based on his knowledge and vision [of the blessing's value], both of which were lacking with Esau."


⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "God has given every man a gift. The question is: will you despise it like Esau, or desire it like Jacob?
When Esau lost his blessing to Jacob, he would finally understand what he had lost– and yet, even then, he would seek to blame his brother rather than his own short-sightedness."


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "...whatever skill, talent, or ability that God has blessed you with… do not despise it. Use it to His glory, and see what He will do with it. If you are not sure what to do, then do what James says [and ASK GOD for wisdom to choose according to HIS will for you]. Don’t be like Esau. Don’t lose the blessing that God has FOR you because you despise the gift He HAS given you."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


https://hope4israel.org/toldot-tashpa/
(THIS SITE IS GOOD TO USE AS IT CONNECTS JEWISH CONTEXT WITH CHRISTIAN TRUTHS)

"God alone chooses who will continue the lineage of redemption; He decides through whom His Seed of Promise will come!"

⭐⭐‼️ "I believe Jacob’s name, “Ya’akov” holds significance and can shed light on why God chose him and loved him. The root word for Yaakov in Hebrew is (akev), which is heel, from which the name (Ya’akov/Jacob) is derived. This is yet one more amazing hint of the “seed” that would be the source of redemption, which continues through Jacob’s lineage. The name here is not coincidental, as it reminds us of Genesis 3:15, where the LORD says that He will put enmity between the serpent’s seed and the woman’s seed, and that her seed will “bruise [the serpent’s] head” while the serpent will “bruise [the woman’s seed’s] heel”. The second point related to his name is that it can also mean, “to follow”. I believe that the “following” here is two-fold: first, it refers to following the lineage of the blessing. Secondly, it also speaks to Jacob’s role in following after God, which is a command that continued on to the children of Israel, who were Jacob’s direct descendants."
(Remembering the "rearguard" from the other day= the ARMY at large is GOD??? And Israel is "close at His Heels," not becoming distant or separated, while still staying "behind Him" (through humility) as He advances, to "protect the Promise (the Seed) from the world"???) Israel doesn't "see His Face" OR lead the charge; she is entirely subject to her General, to her Lord, Who is invincible as God yet vulnerable as Man. So she, as a nation and people, is the "line of defense" for the Messiah, the "protective force" for His entire lineage, even if she does get very "bruised" in the battle? BUT she WILL NOT DIE, because God WILL protect her as His beloved Child– the prophets emphasize this! Even if she suffers great loss of "parts", she has not lost her "whole" purpose: God has PROMISED to deliver His People, and to crush the serpent's army THROUGH the Seed she exists to safeguard! She is HOLY and SACRED and so God will NOT suffer her to fall prey to the enemy.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Esau did not choose to follow God... Instead of hating Esau, it is entirely possible that God simply changed the right of the first-born and did not choose Esau to fulfill this role, but instead chose Jacob to receive and honor the inheritance... God’s will is always supreme to anything else; it takes precedence over cultural norms, our human sense of justice and fairness, and even family relationships. While we may not be able to understand why God does things a certain way, we can choose if we will submit to His will or rebel against it. The choice is yours… will you follow Jacob’s footsteps, choosing to follow and work for God, or will you follow Esau’s footsteps?"
(To frame a contrast here = in NOT choosing to follow God, Esau "chose" to follow the "only other candidate": the evil trifecta of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Even unaware of that horrid power, Esau was nevertheless "working for them," when he prioritized his hunger over his responsibility, when he valued the immediate more than the promised, when he disdained the spiritual to pursue the physical.)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://outorah.org/p/183/

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "...the birthright was essentially the right to the priesthood. Esav was not interested in this position... Esav recognized that the priesthood includes various restrictions. Violation of these restrictions is, in some instances, punished with death. Esav was not interested in this burden... As firstborn, Esav had the right to the priesthood. He simply was not interested in rising to an essentially spiritual position."

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Esav tells Yaakov he will sell him the birthright. He explains that he is destined to die. Therefore, the birthright will not provide him any benefit... Esav lived a dangerous life. He constantly sought thrills and placed himself in dangerous situations. This was the root of Esav's keen interest in hunting. Esav's personal goal was to maximize the intensity of pleasure and excitement in his life. He did not expect to live a long life. In fact, Esav did not expect to outlive his father, Yitzchak... the birthright would only become significant with Yitzchak's death. The right gave the firstborn preference as an heir. Therefore, Esav did not expect to ever benefit from the birthright. Esav sold it to Yaakov because it was of little value to him."

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "...in selling the birthright, Esav rejected the concept of the afterlife and the resurrection of the dead... Esav sold his birthright because he was completely focused on his material and temporal existence. He wanted to maximize his thrills in this world. He was not at all concerned with eternal existence. He did not consider the impact of his behavior upon his soul or the afterlife. Implicit in his decision to sell the birthright were a rejection of the afterlife and the resurrection of the dead."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.alexisrael.org/toldot-birth-rights

"The Hebrew word for the birthright - bechora - appears in only one place outside the Jacob-Esau story. It appears in connection with children’s inheritance rights. In Jewish law, the firstborn receives an inheritance double the size of his brothers. This is standard practice as recorded in Deuteronomy 21:17... This source anchors the birthright in the financial sphere. The birthright designates the firstborn as the major beneficiary of the father’s will. And following this line of argument, it would seem that this story is about Yaakov buying future inheritance rights from Esav..."

"And as for the logic of his statement : I AM AT THE POINT OF DEATH (lit. walking towards death) : Every day, when hunting, Esav put his life in danger, there being animals who might kill him. It was a clear possibility that he might die before his father.”
Esav tells Yaakov that there is no point in his holding on to the birthright as he is “going to die”. Esav does not expect to see the money of his father’s inheritance. He expects to die in the course of his life’s career as a hunter. In that case, he might as well cash in his future options now."

"...the following commentaries see the contradiction in Esav’s response a sign of his inconsistency, his fickle nature, his opportunism and living for the moment...  ESAV SPURNED THE BIRTHRIGHT: We need to be told this detail here because, as we see later on, Esav later expresses regret at the sale of his birthright: ‘He stole my birthright’ . Thus the Torah tells us of his inconsistency and stupidity: Now, when he wants to eat he sells it and he regrets it afterwards... When his father became old and Esav realised that Isaac will die and he (Esav) might outlive him, he regretted the sale and began to see the entire incident as a trick.”

"It would seem that Yaakov shows little regard for material possessions. RASHI  views the concept of a birthright not so much in terms of financial rights and benefits. He understands the birthright as a spiritual legacy and a position of religious responsibility. The firstborn of each family would be the religious representative of that family, offering the family sacrifices and performing sacred ritual. He explains the exchange of the birthright in the following way: "SELL ME YOUR BIRTHRIGHT: Because religious worship was performed by the firstborn. Yaakov said to himself, ‘this man of evil deed is not fit to bring offerings to the Lord’."
In this reading, the birthright imposes not material nor any other remuneration for the firstborn. The birthright implies obligation and responsibility; even danger; for the firstborn are meant to act as priests serving God as representative of their family. Esav rejects the responsibility of the Divine Service. In a fascinating reading of the text, Rashi translates Esav’s statement “Hinei anochi holech lamut” as a statement that the strict priestly laws with their death penalty . (Improper Temple service could result in death eg. Lev. 10:1,2.) might lead him to his death. Why then, bother with the priesthood? It has no particular advantages! It would also seem apparent that Esav does not particularly value this form of activity as a life’s career.

the Torah stresses Esav’s desire for freedom, especially from this sacred role as opposed to Yaakov’s desire for duty and holiness.
According to this reading, there is no pressure, no extortion. Yaakov welcomes the opportunity to play a part in the Divine Service whereas Esav is keen to be rid of it.

It is unclear why Esav regrets the sale later, but we may suggest that as he feels the increasing rivalry of Yaakov, he resents any encroachment of Yaakov on his “territory”, no matter what.

the firstborn was to assume the father’s position as head of the family, with the requisite honour of his younger brothers. This is why he said to Isaac, ‘I am Esav your firstborn’, to say that he was the firstborn, fitting to be blessed.”
...Yaakov wants to know who will be the heir to the legacy of Abraham. This is a tradition described by God when he spoke about Abraham - “For I have singled him out, that he may instruct his children and his family line to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is just and upright” (18:19) - of religion and ethical standard. Yaakov wants to be the heir to this tradition. He wants to be the father of the nation that will inherit the Land of Canaan. He feels that he can do this better than Esav who seems to show little family commitment... Yaakov concerned with one thing. Yaakov knows that there is a promise that has been made to Abraham. He is to father a nation that is to transmit certain messages to the world. The vehicle for this is the Nation of Israel in the Land of Israel. Yaakov wants to ensure that this spiritual destiny is left in safe hands.

Yaakov was constantly concerning himself with the needs of the family home. Esav would eat daily at home but spent his days hunting - not enough to fill the family needs but he would occasionally provide a tasty joint of meat - but the traditional family trade was sheep farming and Esav gave no assistance in this area.” He describes Yaakov’s feelings of resentment to his brother who took from the family but wished not to contribute.

Esav lives in the here and now, hand to mouth world of the hunter, who scoffs at the long-term view and enjoys the moment. The quick-fire verbs of eat-drink-stand-leave gives a sense of certain hurry, maybe coarseness, but certainly not a person who wishes to live the examined and contemplative life.
Yaakov’s position as responsible in some way for the business of the home and his obsessive interest in a “virtual” commodity such as a birthright demonstrates his far-sightedness and his deep concern for the future of the leadership of the family and the entire faith legacy of Beit Avraham.

As we have seen in this story, however we define the Bechora; whether the bechora is an expression of inheritance rights, or religious priestly duty, or family leadership and responsibility, these rights CAN be transferred.

This Parsha comes NOT to emphasise the role of the firstborn and the status of the birthright but rather to lower its importance. The Torah tells us that it is good deeds and a God-fearing heart which will achieve success and honour. Birth confers no automatic rights for man. It is the actions of man which will lead him to the greatest heights.

In pesukim 27:46-28:9 we read about Yaakov being sent to Padan Aram to Abraham’s homestead to find a wife. Yaakov is acting in typical patriarchal fashion, finding his wife in the “old country” amongst the “land, birthplace, and father’s house” that Abraham left! Esav gets the message. He realizes that he didn’t merit the Berachot because he did not act in time honoured covenantal tradition. Esav responds by marrying again. This time he marries “in the family.” It is striking that this topic forms the framework, or the “bookends” for the “blessings” narrative. By doing this, the Torah virtually indicates explicitly at the very outset that Esav was unsuitable! He was not a covenantal candidate!

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/2372639/jewish/Esau-Sells-His-Birthright-for-a-Mess-of-Pottage.htm

"Why did Jacob want the birthright? Originally, the firstborn were intended to serve G‑d in the Tabernacle and later in the Holy Temple, so Jacob wanted to gain that privilege, feeling that Esau’s wickedness made him unworthy of performing this service."

""Here I am going to die, so why do I need the birthright?” ... If Jacob wanted the birthright because of the attendant privilege of serving in the Temple, then Esau was observing that failure to perform this service properly is punishable by immediate death, and that therefore he’d prefer to forgo it... Esau was the type of person who expected to “live fast and die young,” since he was constantly exposing himself to danger in his hunting activities. Therefore he assumed his father’s estate was no concern of his."

"...the birthright was actually not worth much in monetary terms, so that bread and lentil stew was a fair exchange for it."

"“He got up and left, and Esau mocked the birthright.” With this phrase the Torah disabuses us of any notion that "poor Esau had been forced" into selling a prized possession for some food to still his hunger. We see that that he entered into the deal wholeheartedly, and that he treated his birthright with contempt. In keeping with the explanation above that the birthright meant the right to serve G‑d in the Holy Temple, this mockery amounted to rejection of the Creator and disdain for serving Him.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://thelehrhaus.com/tanakh/navigating-uncertainty-revisiting-blessings-and-deceit-in-parashat-toledot/

Isaac and Rebecca pray for a child together and their prayers are answered when Rebecca conceives. Rebecca receives a divine message that she is expecting twins and that these twin brothers will be in perpetual conflict. The relationship of these sons will be defined by a zero-sum game in which the success of one will be at the expense of the other. Rather than being partners in the world they will inhabit, they will be in an indefinite struggle, with one brother subservient to the other. However, as noted by both Radak and Netziv, the divine message was ambiguous as to which brother would be the patriarch of the nation of Abraham — Would the elder serve the younger (ve-rav ya’avod et ha-tza’ir), or the younger serve the elder (ve-et ha-rav ya’avod ha’tza’ir)? As such, neither Rebecca nor Isaac is certain as to which of the twins isto be the chosen son. The options for interpretation of this divine message were meant to convey that either option was conceivably possible and that human intervention would determine which of these options would be realized. Rather than divulging the future, God left Isaac and Rebecca with the challenge of navigating through the uncertainty of who would be the future progenitor of the chosen people.

As the boys grew, Isaac admired the vigor, daring, and cunning of his older son, and thought he was the likely candidate for leadership, while Rebecca believed the qualities of leadership were more appropriately found in the mild-mannered and spiritually sensitive younger son, Jacob.

Isaac may have begun to question Esau’s suitability for leadership when, as per Hizkuni, he learned of Esau’s public renunciation of his birthright for short-term gain. Prudence and sound judgment are prerequisites for effective leadership, and Esau’s shortsighted behavior lacked both. Yet, it was upon Esau’s choice of the women he married that Isaac became certain of Esau’s disqualification. Isaac remembered the efforts his own father had put into finding him an appropriate spouse and the importance of marrying the right partner, and he saw that Esau had chosen wholly inappropriate wives who brought great grief to him and Rebecca (26:35). It was self-evident that Esau could not be the chosen son to lead the children of Abraham, especially with Yehudit and Basmat, the Canaanite Hittites, as potential matriarchs. Isaac understood all too well that Esau could never be the recipient of a blessing which would subordinate his brother Jacob.

Despite this, Isaac had doubts about Jacob’s ability to lead the Jewish people. The children of Abraham were destined to live in a hostile, foreign land where they would be enslaved and oppressed (14:13), and their leaders would need to possess a fighting and indefatigable spirit, as well as cunning and guile, to survive the vicissitudes of a long exile. While Isaac knew of Jacob’s cleverness in purchasing the birthright, he remained doubtful as to whether the gentle tent dweller possessed the daring and guile necessary for leadership.  Rebecca may have shared these concerns.

Isaac and Rebecca, therefore, decide to put Jacob to the test by preparing a ruse that requires him to be manipulative, dishonest, and deceitful. It involves Jacob overcoming his fear of being exposed to the wrath of his father and having to face the inevitable deadly fury of his brother. The test entails Jacob (thinking he is) tricking his blind father into believing he is Esau. To execute this, Esau is sent on a prolonged hunting expedition. When the moment arrives, as Isaac sends Esau off to hunt, Rebecca would pressure and embolden Jacob to take the initiative and steal what he believes to be Esau’s blessing. Isaac would grill Jacob with questions such as “who are you?”; “how did you find prey so quickly?”; “let me touch you; are you really Esau?”; “but are you really my son Esau?”; “the voice is the voice of Jacob but the hands are the hands of Esau”; “come closer and kiss me” — to all of which Jacob must lie and say, “I am Esau your first born” and “I am [ truly Esau, your son],” all the while outstretching his camouflaged arms to his father and dreadfully fearful that Esau will suddenly appear with his own prepared meal.

Isaac had always known the gentle side of his younger son, and he had therefore suspected until now that Jacob lacked the worldly skills that he so admired in Esau. The ruse, designed by Isaac and Rebecca to prove Isaac wrong, did just that. Jacob, exhibiting cunning, courage, and deceit during his test, exposes Isaac to a side of Jacob that he had not previously witnessed. He learns that the yosheiv ohalim, the tent dweller, possesses the resourcefulness and wiles of the tzad tzayid, the hunter. According to this reading, the verse“Ve-lo hikiro, ki hayu yadav kiydei Eisav ahiv se’irot” (27:23) is to be understood as “The one who stood before him was not the Jacob he had previously recognized, in that this son exhibited the hairy masculinity, cunning, and resourcefulness of his hunter brother, Esau.”[3] This was exactly what Isaac had sought to discover through the test, a Jacob possessing the attributes of both the soft-spoken tent dweller and the cunning wiles of the powerful, rugged hunter of the fields (the voice of Jacob and the hands of Esau, 27:22). Isaac was now prepared to bless Jacob: va-yevarekheihu (27:23).

Isaac’s blessing takes hold and is legally binding, as he knows exactly whom he is blessing. Isaac learns that his blessings have received divine approval when he senses the fragrance of godliness on Jacob: Behold, my son’s fragrance is like the scent of a field blessed by God” (27:27)...

When explaining to Esau how the blessing was ‘inadvertently’ given to Jacob, Isaac uses a clever play on words: “Ba ahikha be-mirmah, vayikah birkhatekha” (27:35). To Esau, the meaning is a straightforward alibi; your brother took, through trickery, your blessing. To Isaac, it means something entirely different: your brother demonstrated guile and cunning and therefore received the blessing which I had thought, long ago, would be yours.

...In this final meeting of father and son, Isaac makes no mention of having been exploited by Jacob, as, on the contrary, it is Isaac, together with Rebecca, who has capitalized on his own disability in order to devise and execute his test of Jacob...

When sending Jacob off to a foreign land, Isaac and Rebecca were undoubtedly filled with concern for his well-being. Divine justice would inevitably exact a toll for Jacob’s participation in a deception that had inflicted bitter anguish upon his brother Esau. They could not have known, at the time, about Laban’s switching of the daughters or about Jacob’s own children tricking him into believing that Joseph had been killed. Nonetheless, they understood that, in accordance with the heavenly principle of ‘measure for measure,’ Jacob would have to pay a price for his involvement in the ruse they had prepared...

Yet, Isaac and Rebecca had confidence that the qualities which Jacob had demonstrated in the ruse they had prepared for him would serve him and his progeny well. They now knew that he possessed the strength, resourcefulness, and determination that would allow him to thrive in his new surroundings, and the courage to overcome the challenges that awaited him. They were assured that they had properly navigated the uncertain waters of raising their sons, and believed that Jacob would eventually be able to return to the land of Abraham in order to fulfill the role he was now destined to play.
While Isaac and Rebecca assuredly wrestled with their intended scheme, being aware of the resultant painful consequences for their son Jacob, they nevertheless understood that the essence of authentic leadership frequently necessitates making sacrifices and enduring the ramifications of challenging circumstances and choices."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


https://jewishlink.news/bechora-or-bracha-or-bechira/

"...consider the following: David himself was not the firstborn; he was—in fact—the youngest of Yishai’s sons... birth does not confer leadership. Leaders must be those who care about the nation more than the self; those who would weigh the opinions of others but then decide firmly and those who recognize their own limitations and admit their own mistakes... caring individuals whose concern for others outweighs their interest in themselves. And that is what allows them to rise to leadership. They do not become leaders merely through birth."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


https://tanach.org/breishit/toldot/toldots1.htm


Bechira
We use the name bechira (selection) to describe God's blessing of "zera v'aretz" to the Avot, i.e. being chosen to become the forefathers of His special nation. Bechira implies that only one son is chosen, and that all other children are rejected. As we explained above, this process began with God's choice of Avraham Avinu and continued with His choice of Yitzchak over Yishmael. It is not clear, however, when this bechira process will end.
Bracha
We will use the name bracha to describe a blessing of personal destiny (e.g. prosperity, power), given by a father to his sons. For example, Noach bestows a bracha on each of his three sons (9:24-27). He does not choose one son to become a special nation. Rather, he blesses (or curses) each son based on his potential. The classic example of bracha (as opposed to bechira) is found in Parshat Vaychi when Yaakov Avinu, prior to his death, blesses each of his twelve sons (see 49:1-28). In those blessings, Yaakov is not choosing which of his children will become God's special nation. Rather, he bestows a blessing of personal destiny on each son, according to his understanding of each son's character and potential (see 49:28).
Thus, according to these definitions, bracha is typically bestowed by the father, while bechira is bestowed by God.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://tanach.org/breishit/toldot/toldots1.htm

Considering that the reason for God's "bechira" (selection) of Avraham was in order that his offspring become a nation (see 12:1-2), this 'filtering' process of choosing only one son over others could not continue forever. Should only one 'favorite son' be chosen in each generation, a nation could obviously never develop. Sooner or later, this 'filtering process' must end, and an entire family must be chosen...
there is no apparent reason for Yitzchak to assume that only one son is to be chosen and the other rejected. Unlike Yitzchak and Yishmael who come from different mothers, both Yaakov and Esav are born from the same mother. In fact, they are twins! Therefore, it is only logical for us to presume that Yitzchak assumes that both Yaakov and Esav are chosen.
Furthermore, even if there is some divine reason to choose only one son, it should be God's choice and not Yitzchak's! After all, up until this point, God alone had been involved in this bechira process. He had chosen Avraham, and He alone had chosen Yitzchak over Avraham's other offspring...


As we explained above, one could suggest that Yitzchak expects that both his children will become 'Am Yisrael' [or, to be more precise, 'Am Yitzchak']. However, realizing that he is aging, and understanding that in order for his children to become a nation they must have political leadership, Yitzchak must appoint one of his sons as the family leader.
For this job, Esav - the "ish sadeh" [a man of the world (see 25:27)] - is obviously the most suitable candidate. [You need to have a "macher" to run a country. Furthermore, realistically speaking, Yaakov & Esav are over sixty years old, Esav is married with children, has a job, and can take of himself and others; while Yaakov is still single, and 'living at home.' Hence, Yitzchak choice of Esav to become the family provider and leader is quite logical.]
Undoubtedly, Yitzchak has a blessing in store for Yaakov as well - most probably a blessing of spiritual leadership. Yaakov - the "ish tam yoshev ohalim," a man of the book (see 25:27) - can provide the family with spiritual guidance. [This 'theoretical blessing' for Yaakov is quite similar to the ultimate duty of shevet Levi (see Devarim 33:10).] However, without first setting up a nation (via Esav), there would be no one around for Yaakov to guide.
[The fact that Yitzchak had called upon Esav, his eldest, to receive his blessing first, does not rule out the possibility that he may have intended to bless Yaakov afterward. Note in Parshat Va'ychi how Yaakov first blesses Yosef, and only afterward blesses his twelve children.]

Rivka knows something that Yitzchak doesn't! Recall that when she was pregnant with Yaakov and Esav, Rivka senses a struggle, and seeks God for an explanation (see 25:22).
God's answer to her (and not to Yitzchak!) already alludes to the fact that the bechira process has not yet ended... Because of this prophecy, Rivka knows something that Yitzchak does not - that her twins are destined to become two nations, and hence, only one of them can be chosen. Realizing this, and knowing from that same prophecy that it must be the younger brother (see 25:23, "v'rav ya'avod tza'ir"), Rivka knows that Yaakov is destined to receive bechira, and not Esav.
Yitzchak, however, is unaware of this prophecy. [Note 25:23: "va'yomer Hashem lah" - to her, and not to him!]
It is not clear why Rivka never informs Yitzchak of this prophecy. She may assume that Yitzchak also knows, and only later realizes that he doesn't (see Ramban 27:4). Alternately, she may understand that it is God's intention for only her to know, and not Yitzchak. Whatever the reason may be, as the children grow up, each parent has a different perception of their destiny. Yitzchak assumes that both Yaakov and Esav are chosen, while Rivka knows that it will only be Yaakov...

Rivka has limited time to act, yet feels responsible to the prophecy which she had received, and hence obligated to rectify the situation. In her eyes, this may have been the original reason why God had originally granted her this knowledge. Unfortunately, however, Rivka must resort to trickery to make sure that Yaakov will receive the blessing instead.

After Yitzchak grants Yaakov (thinking that he is Esav) a bracha of prosperity and leadership, the real Esav arrives and begs his father for another blessing (see 27:34,36). Yitzchak's first response is that the special blessing which he intended for Esav (prosperity and power) had already been given to Yaakov (27:35,37). There is no other bracha for Esav, for he is obviously not suitable to receive the bracha of spirituality, intended for Yaakov. However, since Yitzchak still assumes that both sons are chosen, in the end he is able to grant Esav another bracha instead.
[This extra blessing ("tal ha'shamayim u'shmaney ha'aretz"/ see 27:38-39) includes prosperity, for this can be shared by both brothers. However, since the blessing of political leadership ("hvei gvir l'achicha..." /see 27:29) can only be given to one son, Yitzchak tells Esav that he will be able to obtain this blessing only should Yaakov fall."

Yitzchak is not granting Yaakov the bechira. He is blessing Yaakov that God should grant him the bechira.. 


"this entire episode may carry an important message concerning how to relate to the nature of our physical world and leadership.
Indeed, to become a nation, there are times that the 'aggressive' qualities of an "ish sadeh" are needed. However, there is a popular notion that these physical responsibilities should be delegated to the "ish sadeh" and to one who is only an "ish sadeh", leaving the spiritual realm alone to the delicate "ish tam". Yitzchak's original intention to bless Esav may reflect this notion. After all, Yaakov, the "ish tam" was not yet fit to receive the blessing of prosperity and leadership.
Therefore, to secure that blessing, it was necessary for Yaakov to first don the 'hands of Esav.' To establish God's special nation, there are times when it is necessary for the "ish tam" to take on the responsibilities of the "ish sadeh". Separating these responsibilities between two sons reflects the notion that spirituality cannot be found in the physical world of establishing a nation.
At the time of these "brachot", Yaakov himself is not yet ready to become an "ish sadeh". But sooner or later he will need to be able to blend these qualities. Later in his life, before he returns to Eretz Yisrael, Yaakov must finally confront the 'angel of Esav,' this time without trickery, to prove that he is indeed worthy of that leadership task. Nonetheless, it is significant that the primal character of Am Yisrael is that of Yaakov, the "ish tam."

Even though many situations in our history will arise when we must don the 'hands of Esav' - when we must act as an "ish sadeh" - our dominant trait must always remain that of an "ish tam." For when Am Yisrael enjoys prosperity and political leadership, it is only for them to provide mankind with spiritual guidance.
Throughout our history, even though we must periodically 'don the hands of Esav,' our voice must always remain 'the voice of Yaakov!'"

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://catholicexchange.com/becorah-hebrew-birthright-explained

"The Hebrew word for “birthright” is becorah and belongs by custom to the firstborn male who opens the womb. The becorah legally entitles the first born to a double portion of the father’s inheritance. The Hebrew word is itself related to the verb for “bear new fruit.” Since Esau was the firstborn the “birthright” was legally his... The blessing or beracah includes within it the notion of the birthright but also more generally a prophetic wish from father to son of long life, fertility, & prosperity. Sometimes the beracah was actually a litany of curses and hardship for ill-favored children. Usually the blessing would serve as a "last will and testament" and was given to the children by the father near his death. The firstborn would receive his blessing first, and would usually receive the best blessing. Then other lesser blessings might follow... The point of the whole story [of Esau & Jacob] is that the firstborn has been passed over and so has forfeited both the birthright and the blessing that might have been his. St. Paul sees in this an [ironic!!] allegory for Israel, who is GOD’s firstborn, who in rejecting her Messiah, rejected her firstborn status and saw her blessings go to the “younger” Gentile nation."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://goodquestionblog.com/2023/06/03/why-didnt-isaac-confront-jacob-about-stealing-esaus-blessing/

"...from the perspective of many contemporary cultures, Isaac should have confronted his son about his deception and theft and corrected him. Beyond that, many contemporary readers will wonder in the first place why, when Isaac realized what had happened (“Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.,” he told Esau), he did not retract the blessing that Jacob had obtained fraudulently. Was it really the norm in this culture for people to be bound by their word, even if they had been led to give it under false circumstances? Apparently so. There is a comparable account in the book of Judges of how the Gibeonites, a tribe living in the land of Canaan, deceived the Israelites into swearing an oath of peace with them by pretending to be a group that lived far from Canaan. The Israelites were supposed to destroy all of the Canaanite tribes, but when they finally learned who the Gibeonites really were, they said, “We have given them our oath by the Lord, the God of Israel, and we cannot touch them now.” As I said, this may seem strange to many contemporary readers. We do not consider people to be bound by their word if they have made a statement under compromised circumstances... What readers of the Bible may wonder most is how God could consider people to be bound by their word under such circumstances. Isn’t God fair? Why would God hold people to statements they would not have made if they had not been deceived? I think the answer, as we see often in the Bible, is that God chooses to work within the conventions of human cultures to pursue his redemptive purposes. The Bible clearly disallows many cultural practices that are destructive of human flourishing. But in general... God works out His plan through the free choices, good and bad, of human moral agents, accommodating human cultures in the process. Rather than completely setting aside the cultures humans have built, which are often for the most part positive creative achievements, God looks at a situation and says, “I can work with that.” [So] I would say that Isaac did not confront Jacob about stealing Esau’s blessing because Isaac considered it a “done deal” according to his cultural norms and there was nothing he could do about it."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://goodquestionblog.com/2023/04/08/did-jacob-receiving-the-birthright-have-more-advantages-than-disadvantages/

"Esau, for his part, does not seem to have been interested in the birthright, so Jacob didn’t necessarily have to take advantage of Esau’s venality and impulsiveness, bringing out the worst in him, to get it.
Ideally, the two of them could also have spoken directly, with Jacob suggesting, “Look, I’m interested in this, while you’re interested in that, why don’t we both do what we’re interested in?”
If things had happened that way, I don’t think we would see many disadvantages in Jacob having the birthright. He was God’s choice to carry on the covenant line, and he ultimately proved to be a man of faith and character."

"But as God works out his plan through the free choices, good and bad, of human moral agents, things are rarely as neat as they could be if people always made the best choices and brought out the best in one another. I am not so much disturbed by the way Jacob [still] receives the birthright despite his cheating and deception as I am amazed at the way God is [always] able to carry His purposes forward even as people act in immature and sinful ways... it would still have been better if everyone in the family had acted consistently in a godly and mature way. But to see what God WAS able to do even as all of them needed to learn and grow has advantages of its own. It certainly gives the rest of us hope that despite the brokenness and frailty of which we are only too aware, God CAN still bring the stories of our lives to beautiful conclusions."





080125

Aug. 1st, 2025 08:39 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 


Real Life Catholic email today HITS STRAIGHT TO THE HEART and I'm putting it UP FRONT because THIS IS MY EXACT LIFE SITUATION right now AND what I've been PRAYING ABOUT =

"Saint Alphonsus Liguori (whose feast day is today) made a vow never to waste time. He was a bishop, oversaw a religious community, and served people in need. He also wrote about 60 books—often in little half-hour increments whenever he had free time. But for all his busyness, he would drop everything if someone needed to talk to him— not just the “big deal” kinds of people, but anybody. And he had no problem spending an hour or two with someone who simply stopped by. You see, he never saw "wasting time" with people as wasted time. What a beautiful (and challenging) witness!
I don’t know exactly how this principle should look in your life. I’m not sure how to apply it to mine! But I do know this: “making time for people interrupting him” is how Jesus did his ministry. He didn’t just preach to large crowds. Along the way, he always made space for interruptions— time to stop for the person in need— because he never forgot that people ARE the mission. He didn’t come to save a “thing” but people: you and me."

I cannot stop thinking about this.



So on THAT note God is LEVELING ME UP
Mom movie & Shahrooz pizza


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could NOT stop crying during prayers this morning
We really need to STOP praying while biking, it's too overwhelming mentally
Prayers should stay still & quiet. We NEED exercise time to REST & RECHARGE OUR MIND and "burn off" body stress; praying during this is NULLIFYING ALL OF IT and making the prayers a BURDEN. So STOP!!

Switching the body outfit for August is HELPING WITH THE OCD??
The shorts fit tighter & slightly longer and so the touch somehow isn't as triggering?? THANK YOU GOD
In any case LEARN TO SIT WITH SUFFERING. We NEED to have that freedom & privilege. God give us the grace.


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still working through Genesis 25-27 as the Spirit leads.
Feeling pulled back to the Etymology soon though.

⭐⭐⭐ BTW STOP COPYPASTING EVERYTHING. You're NOT obligated to respond to every statement, and we DON'T need to "collect data".
STICK ONLY TO COMMENTING WHAT IS BUILDING UP OUR MORAL UNDERSTANDING AND COMPREHENSION OF THE DEEPER SPIRITUAL NARRATIVE.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://hmml.org/stories/series-food-the-hunger-of-esau/

⭐‼️‼️"...why was Esau so hungry? Esau... was a tough man who was used to spending long periods in harsh conditions. However, he came home longing for and coveting what his twin was cooking... Esau was suffering intense hunger or starvation... “exhausted and tired"... “hungry and distressed"... weary or in great pain. [In an Arabic commentary] Esau describes himself as empty [in both hand & stomach]... “he suffered intense hunger and became weak in front of this [food].”  [An Arabic commentary claims] Esau was in the desert hunting when he noticed a deer running before him. He chased the deer under the heat of the sun until noon but did not manage to catch it. He arrived home almost fainting from exhaustion and hunger, red from sun exposure, to find his brother Jacob and his mother Rebecca eating. Esau asked his brother for some food, saying, “My soul has melted out of hunger.” ...When Jacob made birthright the condition, Esau wondered in himself about the benefit of the birthright when he was on the brink of starvation [and with no other ready access to food]... could this be an attempt to excuse him for abandoning his precious birthright? ...commentators usually end their interpretation by blaming Esau for such an irresponsible act. However, Arabic manuscripts provide compelling insight into attempts to do justice for Esau through considering his motives and the conditions he had experienced. The moral of the story remains: do not abuse those who suffer hunger, and be careful and patient when you are hungry so as not to be manipulated and sacrifice your privileges."
(Pasting this because it shows mercy to Esau and that's so important to me. He's not a one-dimensional figure for plot purposes. He was a real living human being and he was taken advantage of in a very compromised state. His attitude and "deserving" do not factor into the morality of Jacob's manipulation of a person in essential need and his own twin, no less! Esau may have been "careless," but Jacob was COLD. Esau was foolish and boorish here, almost animal-like in submission to his primal need, but Jacob used his sharp intelligence like a hunting knife against him. In that regard, Jacob actually had the much greater sin.)


Cleaning out tabs...

https://www.gotquestions.org/firstborn-in-the-Bible.html

⭐"The nation of Israel is identified as God's “firstborn” in the Bible... Israel held a special place of privilege and blessing among the nations."
(Named after JACOB, the younger twin– who, with the Promise given to him by Divine choice, WAS in effect "GOD'S firstborn"!

⭐"People in ancient cultures attached great value to the eldest son, assigning him distinct benefits and obligations... certain unique rights, responsibilities, and privileges... given priority and preeminence in the family, and the best of the inheritance."
(Benefits = boons & advantages
Obligations = binding commitments
Rights = special entitlements & freedoms that couldn't be revoked?
Responsibilities = accountable duties particular to him alone
Privileges = special advantages and permissions
Priority = considered first, regarded as more important?
Preeminence = distinction, excellence, surpassing rank)

⭐"The firstborn male was important because he was believed to represent the prime of human strength and vitality as the “opener of the womb”. As a result, the firstborn son became the primary heir of the family. The firstborn’s birthright involved a double portion of the household estate and the leadership of the family if his father became incapacitated or was absent for some reason. After his father’s death, the eldest son usually cared for his mother until her death and provided for his unmarried sisters."
(THIS IS ALL DESCRIBING JESUS. He fulfills all of it!
+ "opened the womb" of GOD; "firstborn of ALL Creation"
+ the prime of God's Strength & Life: "the fullness of God" in Him
+ "double portion"= "heaven AND earth" are given to Him
+ Leadership AS MESSIAH when God "was incapacitated" in broken Judaism and "was absent" to the pagan nations
+ After Joseph’s death, he cared for Mary = also gave her John
+ Unmarried sisters = with the "soul as female" assumption, refers to all "who do the will of the Father" (Matthew 12:50) but who are unbaptized (not part of the Church = Christ's Bride) & even ignorant of the Gospel??? Refers to all "grace obedient" souls who, faultlessly, do not know the Christian faith; Christ still preserves them??
(The "womb opener" bit is so interesting. It makes sense though, to assume that the FIRST child got the "maximum potency" of both parents generative capabilities, and subsequent children "had less potency available" as a result. It's like, once the seal is broken, "decay" inevitably begins. So the firstborn has an almost "biologically inherent superiority" from this mindset.)

⭐ "In the Old Testament, firstborn humans—and animals—were considered sacred to God. After God rescued Israel from slavery in Egypt, He commanded the people to consecrate every firstborn male human and firstborn animal to Him. The dedication was in memory of God’s great deliverance, and a sign to their children that God had brought them out of Egypt... the first male born to any woman or animal belongs to God. The cost of redemption is a sacrificed lamb. This evokes what happened on the night of Passover when Egypt suffered death and Israel was spared."
(THEY'RE ALL SIGNS POINTING TO CHRIST.
+ "Firstborn Son" AND Paschal Lamb
+ Concept of "first" = "only, exclusive" vibe; God creating all things "perfectly and once"? "All things THROUGH CHRIST"
+ Consecrated = set apart from the world, dedicated to GOD = WORSHIP; possibly patriarchal PRIESTHOOD; animals would be SACRIFICED. Jesus was BOTH.
+ Deliverance = from the 10th Plague; explicit reference to Jesus delivering from death
+ Brought out of Egypt = FREE from slavery; Jesus dies "in our place" so we are liberated from legal power of SIN)
(Firstborn consecration = "never forget that, if not for God, I would have been killed too (all men are guilty sinners, not just Egypt); God REDEEMED my life from Death (not simply "spared"= there was a BLOOD EXCHANGE with the lamb!!) so now I will serve Him WITH my life")
("Sacred" means "state of being sanctified" = Exodus 13:2 uses 6942. qadash, "to make holy." The word notably typically refers to THE SABBATH, to PRIESTS, to ALTARS, and to OFFERINGS. So FIRSTBORN are already inherently tied to ALL of that... as well as the later TABERNACLE. Again, absolutely Jesus foreshadowing.)

⭐⭐ "ALL prior implications of the firstborn’s role in the Bible serve to illuminate Christ’s preeminence over all creation and in the family of God."
(Key emphasis on "FAMILY"!! We can overlook that too easily.)

⭐ "In Egypt, as in most other countries, the law of primogeniture prevailed— the eldest son was the hope, stay, and support of the household, his father’s companion, his mother’s joy, the object of his brothers’ and sisters’ reverence."
(...We have really lost this entirely in America, it seems. But this realization of original gravity sheds much light on Scripture. Being the eldest son, the firstborn, wasn't just a "status," it was a VOCATION. Remember, in truth & in history, despite our modern culture of death, FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. The firstborn was the ANCHOR of its "hope," for a continued lineage, and for parental joy & support. He was their "stay," without whose blessed existence the married couple would languish in disgrace & grief? And he was their "support" as they grew older, and as the household grew larger. He was to be NOBLE of character, a good example & source of virtuous pride, the kernel of the family unit in a way.)
(ISRAEL’S FIRSTBORN, BEING CONSECRATED, MAGNIFY ALL THESE ASPECTS?)

‼️"In taking his position as firstborn lightly, Esau sinned against God and his family."
(WELL NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY!!)

⭐⭐"The description "firstborn of all creation" speaks of Christ’s preexistence. He is not a creature but the eternal Creator. God created the world through Christ and redeemed the world through Christ."
(To BE the "firstborn" OF Creation necessitates that He exist BEFORE ALL CREATED THINGS. A creature cannot be the "firstborn" of all creatures, because then who created it? It's a logical impossibility. Christ existed PRIOR to everything else, and HIS existence as Life and Logos is the very FOUNDATION AND FOUNTAIN of ALL creaturely existence: all that exists in us, first existed in Him. He is the "power and vigor" of God, the perfect and initial "expression" of God's Own Life.)
(Here's a hot take = Christ, AS MAN, LITERALLY IS THE "FIRSTBORN OF GOD", THROUGH THE VIRGIN MARY!!! Jesus is the "NEW ADAM" in the spiritual sense ONLY because He was an "Adam" to begin with!! JESUS IS THE "FIRSTBORN" OF THE NEW HUMAN RACE, AND THE "NEW CREATION" HERALDED BY THIS REDEMPTION. So He fits the term in BOTH mortal and divine ways!!)
(Notice the CREATED + REDEEMED pair! A firstborn child is "created" by loving parental union; BUT that same child is REDEEMED from deathg by the slain lamb!! Christ is BOTH the firstborn Son AND the firstborn Lamb!! He "redeems Himself" as a man from death BY His Own death, BECAUSE He is also the "spotless lamb OF GOD"?? Death COULDN'T touch Him; He had no sin to "merit" it! And so, again, THROUGH Him, mankind is "reborn"? As the "Firstborn" He acts on His Father's behalf and in His authority, and since God spoke the Curse over Adam's disobedience, God now keeps the Promise that lifts it, over the Son's obedience? His "blessing" is given to ALL mankind, through Him, when we receive His Spirit? I don't know my theology on this well enough yet to postulate further; I apologize. I'm getting confused so that means I MUST stop.)

"In paying for our sin, Jesus Christ suffered death, but He also became “the firstborn FROM the dead”; that is, He conquered death and is the first person to ever be “born” to eternal life AFTER dying."
(He "REDEFINED" death for us?? Death will still occur until the Parousia, but it can't "charge a fee" or "post bail" now?? Jesus, bring INFINITE LIFE as God, basically "paid our debt OF life" to death WITH the endless wealth of HIS Blood. So when the faithful encounter Death, she cannot keep us because Christ has already "bought us out", by dying AS a man– or rather, AS MAN, in the very essence of what it means TO be human. He REDEFINED us in Himself. He is the "firstborn" of that newness.)

⭐⭐‼️"Note that Jesus is called the firstborn, not the first-created. The word "firstborn" (Greek word "prototokos") signifies priority. In the culture of the Ancient Near East, the firstborn was not necessarily the oldest child. Firstborn referred not to birth order but to rank. The firstborn possessed the inheritance and leadership. Therefore... The phrase "firstborn of all creation" proclaims Christ’s preeminence [and] sovereignty over creation... After resurrecting Jesus from the dead, God gave Him authority over the Earth."
()

⭐⭐⭐"Jesus CREATED the world, SAVED the world, and RULES the world. He is... the eternal Son of God... the self-existent, acknowledged Head [and Ruler] of creation... the Messiah... [The term "firstborn" declares] the PREEXISTENCE, the SOVEREIGNTY, and the REDEMPTION that Christ offers... Christ’s supremacy, sovereignty, and priority extend over all things and all other beings."
()

⭐⭐⭐ "Just as the firstborn son is head over his earthly family after his father, Jesus Christ is Head of the [heavenly family of the] Body of Christ— the Church — after God the Father. Just as the firstborn son receives the greatest inheritance from his father, Jesus Christ receives the world as His inheritance."


I'm headed down a Scripture-hopping rabbit hole here, although its a beautiful one. I can't learn everything all at once! Time to regroup.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.gotquestions.org/

‼️‼️‼️ "Esau focused more on earthly things than on the things of God. He would rather have his physical cravings satisfied than receive God’s blessings... our actions have consequences, and sometimes those consequences are permanent, even after we have seen the folly of our ways."
(This is painfully relevant to our past. We must humbly remember this and accept those consequences as just, as well as merciful, for they are given from God's Good Hands and they help bolster both our repentance and our revulsion of past sins.)

‼️ "Receiving a blessing from one’s father was a high honor, and losing a blessing was tantamount to a curse."
(This helps explain Esau's distraught reaction, especially since he was so favored by his father!)

⭐"An Old Testament blessing of a father to his sons included words of encouragement, details regarding each son’s inheritance, and prophetic words concerning the future... A patriarch’s final blessing was important in biblical times as a practical matter of inheritance rights. In addition, some final blessings included prophetic statements that reveal God’s supernatural power at work through the men of His choosing."

⭐"A birthright was an honor given to the firstborn, bestowing “head of household” status and the right to inherit his father’s estate. The son with the birthright would receive a double portion of whatever was passed down."
(Now this makes sense. The eldest son was naturally the most capable– due to being oldest and therefore helping raise his siblings and support his parents from the very first– of leading the household and managing the property. Not only that, but with the real threats of infertility and infant mortality and death in childbirth, it was only logical to honor the firstborn with these responsibilities as a rule, to ensure he was being RAISED in a manner that would properly DISCIPLINE & QUALIFY him TO act as the future family head & manager, especially if there were no further siblings, or if his mother died early. So yes it was an honor, but it was a very practical and necessary one too.)
(Lastly I emphasize "right to inherit" because land was ESSENTIAL back then and would likely have caused sibling feuds if it hadn't been preemptively authorized... ESPECIALLY once the Promised Land became divinely distributed and NO ONE had any right to reallocate or reassign it.)

⭐‼️"A blessing could be given regardless of birthright. However, a greater blessing was given to the one who held the birthright... While a birthright belonged to the firstborn son, anyone could receive a blessing. In the time of the patriarchs, such blessings acted as a “last will and testament” and were highly prized as a means of revealing God’s will."
(I didn't realize this! So Jacob wouldn't have lost a blessing; he just wanted the BIGGER and SPECIAL one? He wanted "more of what was in the will"? In any case, that shows more of a disturbing "coldness" to Jacob’s heart– this is HIS DYING FATHER and he is still thinking "what can I get out of it?" Because he didn't refuse Rebekah at all, rather protesting in worries that it WOULDN'T work, so he obviously agreed to the ruse! He readily took advantage of a LAST WILL, and at his elder brother's expense. He "bought" Esau's inheritance, which was bad enough, but now he STEALS this emotionally weighty, deeply personal and final blessing from his own father, and robs his father of his intended hopes in the process. That's heinously wrong.)
(If Jacob was "seeking God's will" for his future in this, like Rebekah was allegedly seeking to "make sure" God's will for him happened as she interpreted it, then neither of them understood God properly. He couldn't be manipulated, and He didn't need their help. They only ended up the victims of their own schemes... and God's plans continued invincibly.)


https://bibleproject.com/podcast/why-cant-jacob-and-esau-both-be-blessed/

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "If God’s blessing is about fruitfulness and multiplication, and it can be passed from one person to another, rather than always having to be received directly from God, why can it only be given to one son rather than to both? Esau says in verse 38, “Have you only one blessing, Father?” Why can Isaac give only one blessing? ...The story assumes a cultural practice from this time in history, in which a first-born son becomes the “image” of the father, inheriting his father’s status, property, and blessing. The blessing in question is the blessing of Eden to be fruitful and multiply and rule the Earth. That’s the blessing that gets passed on to the chosen lines of people. But again and again, we see God breaking the mold and blessing people from outside the chosen family. This is because the whole point of blessing a chosen family is so that those chosen ones would bless others. But the chosen ones are often greedy and abuse God’s blessing. THAT'S what is highlighted in this story with Jacob and Esau and then intensified throughout Jacob’s life."
(OH MY GOSH THIS CLARIFIES SO MUCH.
First= ONLY GOD CAN GIVE LIFE  THE CHOSEN PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BIRTH THE MESSIAH. THE MESSIAH JESUS IS THE NEW ADAM. HE BRINGS US "BACK TO EDEN" FREE FROM SIN. SO THE CHOSEN PEOPLE ALONE ARE BLESSED WITH THE BLESSING OF EDEN, A "PROMISE" OF HOPE IN ITSELF THAT MAN WOULD BE RESTORED TO HIS ORIGINAL INNOCENCE, A HOPE FULFILLED IN CHRIST. In short = the Messiah was promised IN Eden. The chosen people are given the blessing OF Eden as the "sign" that all was not lost; that blessing had not disappeared; they were carrying it on in hope. And that hope is FOR ALL THE WORLD= just like Adam was the father of ALL mankind, SO IS THE MESSIAH, to a reborn and reunited mankind. The Edenic Blessing is ENTRUSTED to Israel, but in order for the blessing to TRULY reflect the reality of Eden, it MUST include ALL HUMANITY.)
(Something huge that is implied here= ALL BLESSINGS ARE MEANT TO BE SHARED???? Does this echo Eden in speaking to the shared nature of humanity, of our inherent interconnectedness, of our common blood? We are made for relationships, just like the Trinity. Eden was built on FAMILY. The blessing OF Eden is FOR FAMILY!! Do all blessings then follow this as a pattern?? Actually it's kind of just common sense. Why would you ever keep a blessing all to yourself?? If God has been that good and generous and kind to you, jf you have received such a wonderful gift and benefit, shouldn't you NATURALLY want to benefit others in turn with it, and reflect God's generous goodness back to them, for His glory and your joy?? That's the reasonable response!! So... what was Jacob thinking, in what he did? Did he not realize that, even as the blessing was for wealth and power, it would still involve his family? He would still have to involve others IN his blessing, inevitably? And he wouldn't "lose" those benefits BY "sharing" them, but rather such liberality would work "in his favor" by principle?? Even if he then had "less wealth to his own name" than he would have if he had greedily kept it all, he would have gained far more in the truly important riches of honor and virtue and justice and mercy and being pleasing to God?? What in the world was he trying to gain by stealing his brother’s blessing away, and thus depriving Esau of ANY such wealth?? We all rebuke Esau for his hunger-induced shortsightedness, but what about Jacob's equally myopic gambit here?? He obviously wasn't thinking about anyone ELSE'S futures, not with any earnest!! He just took Esau's!! Jacob might be even blinder to consequences than his brother–  Jacob's own "hunger" has compromised his judgment too. He wouldn't share the lentils, and now he wouldn't share the last will. He drove Esau to begging twice. Did Jacob not understand what a blessing was for? Did he and Rebekah hear the oracle solely as a "license to dominate", and not question the means they took towards that end? Did Jacob not understand what it meant TO be the head of a family, to be a leader, to be a father? Did they not see this reflected in God? Did they not realize that to rule is to serve?)


https://goodquestionblog.com/2017/11/17/why-didnt-god-give-esau-back-the-blessing-that-jacob-stole/

⭐ "the blessing that Jacob stole from Esau was specifically the blessing of primogeniture, that is, the blessing Esau would have been given so that he could fulfill his responsibilities as the first-born son of Isaac."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Primogeniture was one of the existing cultural institutions that God incorporated into the Law of Moses to promote order and provide for those in need... In this culture women didn’t own property and so they were dependent on male relatives, typically their fathers and then their husbands. But any unmarried sisters, or widowed sisters without children, would have to depend on this oldest brother after the father’s death. That’s why he was given a double portion: so he could care both for his own immediate family and for his extended family in his late father’s stead. It was customary for a father, on his deathbed, to bless the firstborn son, asking God to give him material abundance so that he could care for the extended family, and to make his brothers come under his authority so that order would be preserved within the clan."
(THIS IS ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL IN ITS MERCIFUL JUSTICE and it makes SO MUCH SENSE. THAT'S HOW and WHY you share your blessings!!
...it also is shedding light on just how complicated Esau & Jacob's situation really was– because I've been forgetting about Esau's track record. If his WIVES weren't respecting his PARENTS even now, would his wives have taken advantage of Esau’s birthright wealth upon his parents deaths, leaving his mother neglected?? Did GOD let Jacob take the birthright from Esau for the sake of the Abrahamic bloodline at large?? Jacob was already much closer to his mother, and in touch with her needs! As for authority, maybe that's simply because Jacob was seemingly less impetuous than Esau, and more given to management tasks? So was God working a deeper, hidden "justice" by "giving Esau the just deserts" of his unbelieving and earthly lifestyle– completely unfit to lead a holy people– by his OWN decision, and transferring it legally to capable and faithful Jacob, despite his underhanded methods, because the crude "means" was actually worthy to highlight Esau's unworthiness???)
(So I'm probably completely misjudging Jacob due to my own ignorance and I apologize. There's so much I don't know, and learn from paragraph to paragraph! Jacob did very wrong in robbing his brother, yes. But maybe he was thinking like "Robin Hood." He was still cruel to steal and deceive, but his moral compass may have been skewed by his own judgment of Esau as "unfit to preserve the future of the family", and of himself as "the leader his family needed," maybe even "which God had already appointed." So he had faith, and a sense of justice, but ironically they were BOTH still so, so skewed by pride.)

⭐⭐‼️ "God works through the free choices, both good and bad, of human moral agents to accomplish His purposes... God does not take away our free will; God lets us choose, and God is ALWAYS able to work with our choices to advance His Own positive purposes, although there can also be negative consequences for people who make bad choices."


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Genesis tells us that “Esau despised his birthright,” that is, his responsibilities as the firstborn son weren’t important to him and he was likely to neglect them. Jacob, on the other hand, was hard-working and ambitious—a real hustler. He was much better suited to assume the leadership of the Israelite family as it began growing rapidly into a group of tribes that would become a nation. Ideally, Esau would have recognized Jacob’s abilities, and his own disinclination, and offered Jacob the role of family leader voluntarily. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. [And] Jacob was a “hustler” in another sense—a con artist. He took advantage of a weakness in Esau’s character to defraud him. The book of Hebrews describes Esau as “profane,” meaning literally that “nothing was sacred to him"... Jacob “sold” [the stew] to him in exchange for his birthright, which he knew meant nothing to Esau. But Jacob still had to get the blessing that went with the birthright, and so he also deceived his father Isaac, pretending to be Esau once his father’s eyesight had grown so dim that he couldn’t tell the difference."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"As a result of this deception, Jacob received his father’s blessing, in God’s name, of both material abundance and family leadership. So why did God honor this blessing, when it was obtained under such fraudulent circumstances? As I said earlier, God works through the free choices, both good and bad, of human moral agents to accomplish His purposes. Unfortunately we often don’t give God good choices to work with, and that seems to be what happened in this case.
There were plenty of negative consequences for Jacob: He had to flee from his brother’s anger at this deception, leaving with nothing but a staff and spending twenty years in exile. But through the hardships of those years, his character was shaped and he BECAME a man who COULD lead the tribes of Israel into their future. The same thing could have been accomplished much more positively, but I think that everyone involved didn’t give God enough good choices to work with to allow things to happen any better. As I said, God doesn’t take away our free will."


⭐"One final observation I’d like to offer is that when Jacob returns from exile a wealthy man, rich in flocks and herds, he does make some restitution to Esau for the material abundance he stole from him when he took his firstborn blessing. Jacob sends Esau hundreds of goats, sheep, camels, and donkeys, and when they meet in person, he says to him, “Accept the gift I have brought you.” This is literally, “Please accept my blessing that has been brought to you.” Jacob is making restitution by providing Esau with a “blessing” in place of the one he stole. Jacob also bows down to Esau and calls him “My lord,” even though Isaac’s blessing to Jacob had been, “Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.” These actions on Jacob’s part don’t undo Esau’s surrender of his birthright; that was a permanent transaction between the two of them, even though it wasn’t concluded under the best of circumstances. But it does seem that Jacob, now that he is more mature, at least tries to return some of the benefits of their father’s blessing to Esau. Sometimes this kind of thing is best we can hope for. It’s a messy world, even with an omnipotent God actively working to bring about its renewal."




------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Divine Office is fantastic today =


"...instead of Mark’s ‘he could do no work of power there’ Matthew has ‘he did not do many works of power there’ because of their lack of faith. Thus in Matthew the lack of works of power is Jesus’ own decision because of their lack of faith, rather than any limitation of his power. Matthew frequently stresses that faith is a pre-condition for Jesus’ works of power, and in this Gospel Jesus often says to those whom he has healed, ‘Your faith has won this for you’. Faith is increased by these works, but there must first be some faith in Jesus on the part of the person to be healed."


"Be pleased, O Lord, to enkindle our hearts with the celestial fire of your Spirit, just as you granted that Saint Alphonsus should celebrate these mysteries, and by them offer himself to you as a holy sacrifice. Through Christ our Lord."


"I will gladly boast of my weaknesses, so that I may feel the protection of God’s power over me, for his power is strongest when we are weak. We have a spiritual treasure hidden in earthenware vessels, to show that the supreme power belongs to God and not to us, for his power is strongest when we are weak."

"All holiness and perfection of soul lies in our love for Jesus Christ our God, who is our Redeemer and our supreme good. It is part of the love of God to acquire and to nurture all the virtues which make a man perfect."

"Has not God in fact won for himself a claim on all our love? From all eternity he has loved us. And it is in this vein that He speaks to us: “O man, consider carefully that I first loved you. You had not yet appeared in the light of day, nor did the world yet exist, but already I loved you. From all eternity I have loved you.”"


"It was for [man] that [God] created heaven and earth and such an abundance of things. He made all these things out of love for man, so that all creation might serve man, and man in turn might love God out of gratitude for so many gifts.
But He did not wish to give us only beautiful creatures; the truth is that to win for Himself our love, He went so far as to bestow upon us the fullness of Himself. The eternal Father went so far as to give us His only Son. When He saw that we were all dead through sin and deprived of his grace, what did He do? Compelled, as the Apostle says, by the superabundance of His Love for us, He sent His Beloved Son to make reparation for us and to call us back to a sinless life. By giving us His Son, Whom He did not spare precisely so that He might spare us, He bestowed on us at once every good: grace, love and heaven; for all these goods are certainly inferior to the Son. He Who did not spare His own Son, but handed Him over for all of us: how could He fail to give us along with His Son all good things?"


"I exhort you to press forward on your journey in the grace with which you have been clothed; and you should exhort all men to gain salvation. Perform your office with all diligence of body and spirit. Strive for unity, for there is nothing better. Help all men, as the Lord also helps you; suffer all men in love (indeed, you are doing this). Pray unceasingly. Beg for wisdom greater than you already have, be watchful and keep the spirit from slumbering. Speak to each person individually, just like God himself, and like a perfect champion bear the infirmities of all. The greater the toil, the greater the gain."
   
"It is no credit to you if you simply love the good among your disciples; seek also to tame the more troublesome by your gentleness. Remember that not all wounds are healed in the same way  where the pain is acute, apply soothing poultices. Be prudent as the serpent in all things but always harmless as the dove. This is why you are both body and spirit — so that you can deal tenderly with the things which appear visibly and pray that the invisible things may be revealed to you. Thus you will lack nothing and abound in every gift. These critical times have need of you, as a ship needs a helmsman and the storm-tossed sailor needs a harbour. Be strict with yourself, like a good athlete of God. The prize is immortality and eternal life, as you know. I offer myself up as a sacrifice on your behalf — myself and these chains which you yourself have kissed."
   
"Do not be caught off balance by those who plausibly teach perverse doctrines. Stand firm as an anvil under the blows. The task of great athletes is to suffer punishment and yet conquer. But especially must we endure all things for the sake of God, that he also may endure us. Increase your efforts and watch for opportunities. Look out for the one who is above time and has no need for opportunities: the Invisible who became visible for us, the Intangible who is above suffering and yet suffered for us, who in every way endured for our sake."

073125

Jul. 31st, 2025 08:58 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
Timing all the prayers today!
I'm essentially living a hermit life so I want to know if my schedule actually lines up with theirs.

Went to Adoration
Just missed the rain, thank you God
Got Jesus different flowers today. Pink rose & a yellow "trumpet" one

No mass due to thunderstorm predictions
BUT they CHANGED the forecast LAST MINUTE.
So i COULD have gone after all
Crushing despair. Actually angry at God for this loss??
Couldn't stop crying. Scream sobbing.
Offering it up for MOM.
"I offer up my unbearable hunger for the Eucharist, which I cannot have today, so that she CAN receive the grace TO feel.such hunger for the Eucharist and RETURN to the Sacraments as a result"
Thinking of Saint Paul & Romans 9:3. This is a HUGE sacrifice for me. It still hurts unbearably. I hope to God Himself that I'm not delusional in hoping that this WILL be for her spiritual benefit.

Spiritual communion was so difficult because of my bitterness over missing physical Mass; almost a "grudge" against God??? I was SO HURT. I told Him this, offered him my tears & pain & rage anyway because that's all I had, begged for grace to let go & accept His mysterious Will & trust radically.
"Spirit" Host hit my insides like a ROSE??? "Give us bread but give us roses" thought from yesterday. No coincidences.
SHOCKINGLY SOFT in contrast to all my sharp hurting. Told God this, struggling to open up to it. "I'm not used to mercy".
INFI WAS THERE SOMEHOW. I was ONLY able to SOFTEN & RECEIVE PEACE when I felt hir.

Fighting the devil by repeating that "God NEVER changes His character" & listing examples from Scripture

ALSO, SELF-HATRED IS DEMONIC. That hit me loud & clear today.

OCD HELL continues.
Trying so hard to offer it up without triggering trauma meltdowns.




------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gotta start posting credit hyperlinks!


https://drelisblog.com/trading-future-leadership-for-a-bowl-of-stew/

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Bible translators oversimplify the Hebrew of Genesis 25:23, seeking to make the text both intelligible and clear [to English speakers. But] The Hebrew word for “older” ("rab") means “abundant one,” not “older,” and [the word translated as] “younger” ("tsair") simply means “young.” Furthermore, to confirm that the “abundant one” serves the “young one,” the Hebrew structure ["et ha"] would be needed before “young”, but it is absent. Thus, the Hebrew text is ambiguous, leaving it unclear whether the “abundant/older” serves the “young/younger” or vice versa. This distinction is very significant because this stunning ambiguity provides further detail about what Rebekah knew and when she knew it. In other words, God did NOT explicitly tell Rebekkah that her older son, Esau, would become a servant of her younger son, Jacob. At least, we cannot see it in the original Hebrew text. God seems purposely unclear on who will serve whom."
(THIS PUTS THE WHOLE THING IN A NEW LIGHT. This is why I need to start with the Hebrew + Jewish commentators on Torah FIRST. I've been reading Protestant notes instead and they are just as different from the Jewish notes as the Catholic ones. No wonder I'm overwhelmed and confused. I NEED DISCERNMENT.)
(In any case, God does NOT give an explicit prophecy. That's typical of oracles, actually, and typical of God. We should never "expect" Him to tell us precise plans– because He knows that then we'll get complacent, OR try to control things around it, or even get proud over "knowing" what God does. By leaving us partly "in the dark" for now, we must rely and wait on His Light and His timing, for things to be made clear. This fosters FAITH & TRUST & SURRENDER, and it also deepens our senses of HUMILITY & REVERENCE in the face of divine mystery. We don't have the right TO know God's details. We must be meekly grateful that He deigns to tell us anything! Furthermore, who's to say we even understand it correctly? This translation issue is PROOF that we DON'T. There is no room for pride whatsoever in this matter. Only GOD HIMSELF can properly, correctly, clearly interpret and reveal the full & true meaning & intent of His Own Words & Prophecies. 2 Peter 1:20-21 attests to this! So literally ALL we can do is PRAY for HIS Wisdom to understand God's oracles as God allows us to, for the discernment to act on His Words only according to His Will, for whatever purpose He gave those Words to us. We cannot guess or assume here. And sometimes, like with Rebekah, the oracle given ISN'T SOMETHING WE CAN, OR SHOULD, "DO ANYTHING" ABOUT?? God was "PROMISING" an outcome by declaring it. SHE WASN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS REALIZATION. That was the key mistake she made here = she apparently interpreted the oracle's "success" as "dependent on HER actions" and not solely on God's assertion.)


⭐‼️ "When the twins were born, Jacob emerged grasping Esau’s heel, as if he did not want to be left behind."
(Oh WOW that colors his behavior. That's a motivation i never suspected, but it makes so much sense. Esau was not only older than him (already giving him privileges), he was stronger, tougher, more assertive probably, more overtly "masculine". He was the poster child of strength & vigor. Most notably, though, he was ultimately his father's favorite. Jacob may have felt it necessary to take extra measures to "prevent" getting overlooked or undervalued in favor of his brother, who was "hairy" (virile, manly) even from the womb!)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Rebekah’s actions suggest she was unaware of something Isaac knew: There were two distinct blessings. The first blessing, meant for Esau but obtained by Jacob through deception, was the blessing of the firstborn. This blessing focused on material prosperity and clan leadership... The second, far more significant blessing was the covenantal blessing of Abraham, which Isaac intended to give to Jacob from the beginning. He later gave Jacob the blessing before sending him to Paddan-aram to hide from his brother’s fury..."
(I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT "SENDOFF" COUNTED AS THE LEGIT BLESSING!!! It was placed in such a sudden, almost rushed context in the narrative! But how fitting, for God to humble His Own Words, amongst all the proud human striving, and to give it at the "last second," in the earnestness of urgency, when there was no time for human ego or cunning to intervene.)

FIRSTBORN BLESSING (FROM ISAAC) =
1. Dew of heaven
2. Fatness of the earth
3. Abundance of grain
4. Abundance of new wine
5. Peoples serve you
6. Nations bow to you
7. Master of your brothers
8. Your mother's sons bow to you
9. Cursed be those who curse you
10. Blessed be those who bless you
(THIS WAS MEANT FOR ESAU!!! ISAAC WAS TRICKED INTO GIVING IT TO JACOB, REMEMBER!!! BUT ALSO REMEMBER THE IRONY THAT ESAU HAD ALREADY SOLD IT TO JACOB ANYWAY!!!)

COVENANT BLESSING (FROM GOD) =
1. May God "El Shaddai" bless you
2. May He make you fruitful/ fertile ("bless your marriage")
3. May He give you a multitude of descendants ("father of many nations"
4. May he make your descendants a "great nation" (an "assembly/ community/ company" of peoples) 
4. May He give you & your descendants the blessings He promised to Abraham
5. You will "possess/ own/ inherit" the land God gave to Abraham, "where you now live as a foreigner/ sojourner/ alien/ outsider" 
(NOTABLY, ESAU WOULDN'T "GET" ANY "CHILDREN" OR "LAND" IN THE BIRTHRIGHT!!! Instead, that blessing gave FOOD (WEALTH) & POWER. Those were EARTHLY gifts, which God could potentially give anyone He so favored, AND arguably that a powerful enough man could "aquire for himself," as it were?? (By God's allowance of course) But THESE were PARTICULAR blessings that NO MAN could obtain on his own?? ONLY GOD GIVES CHILDREN, for one. As for the land, it had to be conquered. And GOD ALONE gives that power.)
("God gives us the Promise, but the Promise requires a miracle to perform it.")

⭐‼️"As Jacob, now a fugitive from Esau’s anger, slept on a stone and dreamed of a stairway to heaven, God reaffirmed this Abrahamic blessing he already received from his father."
GOD'S BLESSING AT BETHEL
1. I WILL give you & your descendants the land on which you lie
2. I WILL multiply your descendants as the dust of the earth
3. I WILL spread your descendants out in all directions
4. I WILL bless all the families of the earth in your descendants


‼️‼️‼️‼️"Rebekah’s organization of Jacob’s deception to secure the blessing may have been further influenced by Esau’s marriages to two Hittite women, which had already caused her and Isaac significant distress. These marriages likely brought great disappointment in Esau, but perhaps more significantly, they sparked fear for the small covenant community they still called family. If their future family leader could not guide his wives to honor his parents, how could he be qualified to lead them all?
In other words, Rebekah may have feared the additional turmoil that these women— and their elevated status— might bring to the clan if Esau, as the firstborn, assumed his inheritance and rights. Their prominence within the family could have made this distress worse, prompting Rebekah to ensure that Jacob received the blessing of the firstborn instead."
(As always, MARRIAGE AND COVENANT ARE INEXTRICABLY CONNECTED, even in this unusual way! Esau's marriages were effectively SCANDALOUS for a potential patriarch! And covenant is about FAMILY & FIDELITY. Esau's breach of those morals was already excluding him from Covenant blessings even without external interference.)
(Notable to me is that Esau is described as a skilled "husbandman" BUT he's apparently a poor "husband." He was a "man of the land," but apparently not much of a "man of the family." And it doesn't surprise me that he "couldn't control his wives"– he can't even control his own hunger or temper, as we see in the next two chapters! Not only that, but if Esau was out hunting more than he was around his wives, he wasn't doing much personal leading to begin with. And lastly, if THEIR attitudes were LIKE HIS– if he didn't prioritize honoring his family's heritage or religion– then maybe he didn't even see a need to "change anything"!!)

‼️‼️‼️ "Many believe Rebekah acted with 'profound faith', trusting God’s oracle that “the older will serve the younger” by urging her son to deceive her husband, Isaac. However, Hebrew analysis reveals that the previously mentioned phrase’s ambiguity indicates no definitive promise existed... given Rebekah’s prominent role in Genesis, establishing Israel’s family, it is surprising that, if her [deceptive] actions "reflected outstanding faith", she is not listed among the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11, unlike her mother-in-law, Sarah."
(I DIDN'T REALIZE SHE WAS EXCLUDED and that is absolutely notable to take into account. In any case, FAITH CANNOT "JUSTIFY" DECEPTION and it upsets me that so many arguments for Rebekah DEFAULT to the contrary. If she REALLY TRUSTED God's oracles, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE ACTED TO "MAKE SURE". A truly faithful woman would have GONE TO GOD IN PRAYER with her worries about apparent circumstances! God wouldn't be thwarted! God would take care of Esau, and his wives, in the way HE divinely saw fit, for HIS Plans! GOD would decide "who deserved what," according to TRUTH! But Rebekah doesn't even PAUSE to CONSIDER God's will. She eavesdrops, and immediately drags Jacob into her impulsive and selfdriven scheming. Ironically, she's acting like Esau did when he sold his birthright... she's making a snap decision based on her hunger, and sealing her fate with food. Although I'm amazed that she apparently didn't reconsider or reflect while she was cooking. Maybe then she was acting like Jacob did... thinking too much, about the wrong things, planning her strategy and not resting in God's authority.)

⭐‼️‼️"The narrative quickly shifts to Esau returning exhausted and famished from a hunting trip, as he and his team were the clan’s primary providers. Jacob, likely anticipating this opportunity, may have strategically timed the cooking to control the family’s food distribution."
(HOW??? I don't understand the mechanics here– I'd have to research– but in short, this shows again that Jacob was "TOO clever" of a man. He had a manipulative disposition possibly. He was always looking for opportunities to take, and advantages to claim. He "didn't want to be left behind" so he always made sure he was somehow in the lead, somehow having the upper hand, even if it meant grabbing someone else's heel. So here, if Esau was the PROVIDER for the family, a key position with inherent vital influence– food IS power, really– the only way Jacob could "be better than" Esau in that regard was to "control the distribution"??? The family needed more than meat, after all; and if Esau had a poor catch, then Jacob was now the one with the "life-giving" position. Is that what's happening here? OR did he SOLELY want to exercise such power OVER ESAU???)

‼️ The Hebrew vividly captures Esau’s desperation, literally pleading, “Feed me this red, this red thing, because famished I am.” This impulsive demand for the red lentil stew... [used a] particular Hebrew word for “eating/feeding” [that] eventually came to mean something like “stuffing food into the mouth of an animal.”...it referred to an undignified way of eating, which is related to the concepts of “gulping” and “devouring.”... Exaggerating his hunger, he prioritizes immediate relief from his hunger and fatigue over his future role as a leader. In other words, he opts for quick, tangible relief now instead of embracing his future blessed responsibility... a stark reminder [for us] to value enduring opportunities over temporary satisfactions."
(Esau is letting his hunger "eat away" his humanity– he is acting completely uncivilized; even his language is degraded. Notably he is unfazed by his own crudeness. This may have even been common behavior for him, which would have influenced Jacob's scheming. In any case, this is NOT how a national leader, or a covenant father, acts. His "desperate begging" only adds to his shame, with this in mind, because it's not legitimate– Esau EXAGGERATES his hunger because he cannot tolerate the physical discomfort and bodily insistence. Again, not leadership qualities! He's actually acting like a CHILD. Honestly his behavior is so weird to me considering that he's an "expert hunter"! Shouldn't he be more "tough" and "disciplined"? As the eldest son, shouldn't he act more "like a man"? But no, he apparently has no self-control and no foresight and no capacity to reign in his emotional responses. He lacks patience, temperance, and wisdom. I can't imagine how he hunted. Maybe he was just so used to "the outdoors" that he wasn't so good with "indoors" behavior. Nevertheless, his priorities were determined by his gut, not his brain. He primarily seeks the tangible, the sensual, the immediate, as we discussed yesterday. He lives "in the now" to a fault. He probably didn't even consider the possibility of having such a poor hunt that he'd get so hungry as to be practically delirious– an oversight likely caused by pride in his skill even moreso than thoughtlessness. He may have been prone to "exaggerating" in general, then, both feeling and acting in "loud and large" ways. In short... the man was not thinking about what it meant to be a leader, or even a mature adult. He was only feeling. His capacity for "endurance" apparently only existed out in the field. The only opportunity he was disposed to detect was the one he could see and taste. But "we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." So the question is = are you seeking to "satisfy" your stomach or your soul? Are you walking by faith or by feelings?)

‼️‼️ "In an irrational and bizarre turn of events, Esau agrees to Jacob’s unreasonable demand."
(ESAU WASN'T ACTING WITH "REASON" TO BEGIN WITH; JUST EMOTION & INSTINCT. His "slavery to" his carnal nature– his hunger– made him irrational!)

‼️‼️"The Hebrew emphasizes Esau’s cavalier attitude with a rapid sequence of verbs... This brisk phrasing highlights Esau’s indifference, as if the transaction were inconsequential. He behaved as if nothing had happened [despite his] reckless dismissal of his privileged status."
(Google AI clarifies = "A cavalier attitude refers to a dismissive, unconcerned, or even haughty way of behaving, particularly when dealing with important or serious matters. It implies a lack of respect for the gravity of a situation or the feelings of others... often associated with arrogance or a nonchalant disregard for potential consequences.")
(What hits me the hardest is that Esau acts like NOTHING HAPPENED. He sells his status ON OATH and then immediately chows down. He makes a permanent, solemn, irrevocable decision (however brainlessly, he still did it), and the very next second is stuffing his face with stew. I can't even get into his mindset. Was his head that empty? Did he have ANY real capacity for gravity and seriousness? Was he also that clueless and unconcerned as to WHY Jacob would make such a bizarre and heavy demand over dinner? I guess I'm so disturbed because I NEVER want to be so dehumanized by my OWN body's carnal clamoring, so mindlessly driven by animal appetite, that I become blind to the spiritual side of the situation. I NEVER want to be so ignorant and unaware of my privileges in Christ, or my status as a Child of God, or my responsibilities as a member of the Church Family, that I become dismissive and indifferent! I NEVER want to be so obsessed with my self-centered present that I disregard my God-directed future!! I NEVER WANT TO TRADE MY LIFE IN FOR LENTILS. But Esau's heedless hunger is a deadly warning to us all. No matter what seemingly trivial decisions we make today, every single one matters to God. Every single choice we make permanently affects our destiny and our character. And let me say it to you straight– it's better to starve to death than sin.)


⭐"Jacob... embodies persistence, yet his path to true blessings shows that divine plans prevail despite our human flaws... Let us choose wisely, holding fast to God’s promises with patience, but at the same time trusting Him that even our missteps can lead to blessed horizons, where God’s presence will guide us toward true purpose and calling."
(Neither Jacob nor Esau were patient. They both "held fast" to other people in hopes of benefitting by them (Esau favored by Isaac, Jacob stealing from Esau) instead of relying on to God's guarantees.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://drelisblog.com/blessing-stolen-and-returned/

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"the blessing of the firstborn, which Jacob took from his brother Esau, did not bring him the easy life of prosperity and dominion over others that he so earnestly sought. However, the blessing of Abraham, received from his father Isaac before leaving for Paddan-Aram, brought exactly what was promisedGod’s presence, many children, and land to live in."
(DID JACOB KNOW ESAU'S BLESSING WAS SO MATERIALLY BASED??? DID JACOB ACTUALLY WANT SUCH THINGS TOO??? Somehow I never considered that!! But this author claims he "WANTED an easy life" of not only prosperity, but "DOMINION". And yet, isn't that what I've been wondering at with him & Esau? I guess it just scares me a bit, that the "quiet man living in tents" had dreams of power over people. And yet he ACTED on that dream consistently, it seems, even if unconsciously.)
(I love the awful and true contrast. What we TAKE for OURSELVES, will always DISAPPOINT us, and we will eventually LOSE it all. BUT what we are PROMISED by GOD, will always SATISFY, and we will KEEP it all, even to eternity. And even if in our stupidity we might think "but that's not what I want," that's your ego talking, not your soul, and in any case God's gift IS ALWAYS what you NEED, whatever it is or isn't... and it specifically BELONGS to YOU.)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://mailchi.mp/broadstreetpublishing/i-hear-his-whisperfind-fulfillment-in-me-7787127?e=ba01d0c4f7

"Often, we try to wrap our minds around the miraculous before diving in and accepting the validity of God’s extravagant promises. We reason and examine every detail as if we can figure out HOW God will do what He's said He will do.
It sure would be nice to have certainty before taking a risk! But the only guarantee we have is that God will be with us. Even if we misconstrue what He ’s said, HE knows how to get us back on track [and He WILL]. The mercy, love, and compassion of God are our safety net in every decision.
God, I’ve wanted confirmations that everything [I choose to do or not do] will turn out all right. The truth is Your love and faithfulness are the only assurances I have. And they are enough."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wordonfire.org

"St. Ignatius was a man who fell completely in love with Jesus Christ and endeavored, out of that love, to give himself totally to the Lord. But his life did not start out that way. A serious cannonball injury and long convalescence became a turning point. 
There is a lesson here for us as well. So often, in the midst of tragedy, injury, or trauma, we ask, “Where is God?” or “How could God let this happen? But look at St. Ignatius: What began as a great tragedy became the occasion for new life in Christ. 
God used this experience to clean out St. Ignatius’s attachments to his own ego, to his pursuit of a noble career, and to the pleasures of the world. By opening himself to God’s grace in the midst of his suffering, St. Ignatius began the journey that led him to become a great saint...
When we find ourselves on a bed of pain, instead of reading it as dumb suffering, we can remember that God is in all things, and pray for the strength to respond to His ever-surprising grace."

073025

Jul. 30th, 2025 08:57 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
Dream hack.
Miserably sick this morning.
Still feel so broken & wrong physically.

Weight gain still feels like moral failure

Cancelled today's telehealth. I cannot mentally handle it right in the middle of eating, especially not after the recent days.

I said in my pain, "I wish today was the sorrowful mysteries."
God said, "It's even better: it's the glorious. I give you hope."

I NEED TO START READING BACE AGAIN!!!!
MY HEART WON'T STOP HUNGERING FOR IT

It's taking me until 130pm to eat breakfast now because of the OCD HELL. WHY IS IT SO BAD.
It's all around "purity" and "virginity" and being "clean" and "untouched". It's unbearable. I wish I could just suffer through the sensory triggers but it is unbearable.
Jesus telling me "It's your hairshirt" for mortification. I cannot "take it off"; it will always torment me. So I cannot keep "kicking against the goads". I need to learn, by grace (for it alone is sufficient), how to ACTUALLY endure this unique torture without terror or complaint or self-loathing, so I CAN offer it up for souls.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Continuing with our unexpectedly longterm study of the twins.
I feel this inexplicable NEED to understand their story and situation as clearly as possible.
(Also I Need to FOCUS on WHERE I am studying. Jumping around is overwhelming. CHOOSE one= Biblehub, Youversion, Catena, Concordance, etc. Or do the Google sitehopping. But FOCUS!!)
(The "problem" is TANGENTS. I follow trains of thought & investigate what i need to learn to understand context. This is fine, but don't "start a study within a study" because of it. Focus on finding your answer needed– ask the Holy Spirit to guide you– and then return to where you were first diverted, with the necessary knowledge. Trying to learn too much at once, about too many things, just results in garbage data. You WILL get overwhelmed!)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some Youversion verse comparisons while biking=

Esau described as =
Able, rugged, hardy, skilled hunter, an outdoorsman, liked the open country, loved the outdoor life, at home in the fields, a man "knowing of hunting", an expert hunter, a cunning hunter, a man of the field, a husbandman, an earth-tiller, a man of agriculture

Jacob described as =
Quiet temperament, peaceful, a simple man, contemplative, calm, even-tempered, plain, civilized, homely, mild, upright, complete, preferred to stay at home, dwelt in tents, stayed among the tents, lived the life of a shepherd, preferred life indoors, "dwelled in tabernacles"

(SOME EVIDENT "CAIN & ABEL" PARALLELS????)
(Esau tilled the ground, Jacob a "shepherd" in CEVDCI!)

"Hunting" for food apparently began after the Flood? So hunting is necessarily tied to death. BUT before hunting, animals were still killed for SACRIFICE!! Notably both are the direct consequences of original sin = now animals must die for humans to live = a visible sign & reminder of the Fall, AND ultimately foreshadowing the Crucifixion??)
(Animals were "GIVEN" as food BY God, yes, but this was not necessary in Eden and WILL CEASE in Gods Kingdom.)

‼️‼️‼️ "We do not find mention of hunters (in Scripture) except Nimrod and Esau. This (hunting), then, is not the way of the children of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob…"


⭐‼️‼️ "6679 tsud ("hunt") traces a theological arc from legitimate provision to predatory wickedness... In Genesis 27, hunting characterizes Esau’s life and supplies the meal Isaac desires. When Jacob usurps the blessing, it underscores how ordinary vocation can be twisted by deceit... vocational skills can only serve covenant purposes when aligned with righteousness."
(Jacob was trying to "hunt down the blessing"? And in the process he ended up acting in a "predatory" manner towards Esau?? Which was made even more reprehensible because it also involved "ILLEGITIMATE provision" for Isaac: Jacob did NOT hunt for it; it was NOT the meal Isaac asked for; it was given NOT out of charity but as a tactical move. Ironically, JACOB was the "hunter" here– and thus, in a strikingly real way, by usurping his brother's VOCATION in the very process of deception, JACOB "WAS" INDEED ESAU. He wrongly moved into that role more than he realized. But Jacob was only "feeding himself" here. Yes, God made it all work out, but the bottom line is that right now, Jacob really wasn't thinking about anyone else's benefit. He was more of a "cunning hunter" than his brother, in this ruse.)

⭐‼️‼️‼️ "6718 tsayid denotes both the act of hunting and the food supplied through the hunt... Genrsis 25-27 anchors it in household dynamics. Esau’s identity is inseparable from the chase. Isaac’s partiality— “Because Isaac had a taste for wild game, he loved Esau”— creates a fissure that Rebekah and Jacob exploit. The repeated references to “game” in Genesis 27 expose how unchecked appetite (both for food AND paternal blessing) can entangle an entire family."

‼️‼️‼️ "Esau’s [lack of discernment, which was evidenced in his] impetuous trade of birthright for stew, warns against privileging immediate appetite over long-term spiritual inheritance."

⭐‼️ "Leviticus affirms hunting as legitimate while subordinating it to reverence for life and obedience to God’s statutes. Legitimate hunting acknowledges God as Giver of life and requires reverence for His ownership [of it]... life’s sanctity demands respectful handling... Every hunter must integrate practical provision with reverent obedience, ensuring that every chase, meal, and decision remains “before the LORD.”"

⭐‼️ "God permits and equips people to secure [animal] food through skillful endeavor. Yet success must lead to gratitude, not pride... extraordinary skill in taking game could elevate a man’s renown, [so he must be wary of the sinful] tendency of human might to seek dominion apart from God." 

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And the boys grew, and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was an upright man, remaining in the tents."
(Interesting & seemingly ironic contrast, considering Jacob's "craftiness" in the upcoming verses?)

"Esau is “a hunter, a man of the field,” while Jacob is “ish tam,” (a simple/whole man) who sits in tents. These textual descriptions, Rashi and Ibn Ezra point out, indicate that Esau is a “trickster,” a man not to be trusted, while Jacob is a “simple” or “naive” shepherd, who spends his days studying Torah."

⭐CEVDCI translation also equates "living in tents" to shepherding!

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birthright according to Youversion =
1. Leader of family / Head of family / Place of honor in family
2. Double share of inheritance = property rights / father's possessions
3. Before the Tabernacle was set up, the firstborn also acted as the family PRIEST, offering sacrifice

⭐‼️The AWFUL SPIRITUAL IRONY of Genesis 25:32
"Esau said, “I’m starving! What good is a birthright if I’m dead?”"
"Esau said, Since I’m going to die anyway, what good is my birthright to me?”"
"Esau said, “I am almost dead from hunger. If I die, all of my father’s wealth will not help me.”

⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️ HPB HITS CLEAREST AS ALWAYS =
"Jacob tell, “Shoots. But firs, you gotta sell me yoa right fo get oua faddah stuffs bumbye afta he mahke cuz you da oldes. Den I let you eat.” Esau tell, “Eh, me, I litto mo mahke awready cuz I neva eat. No matta I get da right fo get his stuffs cuz I born befo you. Dat no mean notting—cuz I goin mahke!”
Jacob tell, “Swea to God right now fo you give me da right!” So Esau swea to God. DASS how he sell Jacob da right fo get dea faddah stuffs bumbye afta dea faddah mahke!"

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT'S WHAT "SWEAR/ OATH" IMPLIED!!!

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I FORGOT HOW HELPFUL THE NET BIBLE NOTES ARE =

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "...an important circumstance accompanying the birth = Whereas Esau was passive at birth, Jacob was active, "his hand clutching Esau’s heel"..."
(VERY UNEXPECTED CONTRAST!!

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "The name Jacob is a play on the Hebrew word for “heel”. The name (since it is a verb) probably means something like “may he protect,” that is, as a rearguard, dogging the heels. It did not have a negative connotation until Esau redefined it."
(THAT'S WHY I NEED TO READ THE ETYMOLOGY! The Hebrew has SO MUCH DEPTH and these similar words & puns GET LOST IN TRANSLATION.)
(But oh man that changes perspectives. Who is Jacob protecting "as rearguard," then? His brother?? The "nations" once he becomes Israel??)
➕"Just as a military rearguard defends against surprise attacks from behind, God shields His people from spiritual dangers and unseen threats... God is not only a guide and leader but also a protector who ensures that His followers are safe from any threats that may arise from behind... It reminds Christians that they are never alone in their journey of faith. As they move forward in obedience to God's call, they can trust that He is both leading them and protecting them from behind... It serves as a powerful reminder of God's faithfulness and His ability to protect His people from pursuing enemies... ensuring their safety from behind as they advance... God is not only leading them into new beginnings but also securing their past and present, preventing any harm from overtaking them."


⭐‼️ "[Jacob's temperament is juxtaposed] with Esau and draws attention to the striking contrasts. In contrast to Esau, a man of the field, Jacob was civilized, as the phrase “living in tents” signifies. Whereas Esau was a skillful hunter, Jacob was calm and eventempered, which normally has the idea of "blameless.””
(Interesting that "skilled hunted" is apparently contrasted with "calm & even-tempered," especially in light of the "civilized" note as well– implying that Esau was "wild" in comparison?? He definitely wasn't "even-tempered"! And Scripture WARNS about how anger & hot emotions lead to sin– so Esau "couldn't" be "blameless" if he was acting with such a disposition?? But why the "hunter" focus specifically? Was it just to imply the "inherent violence" in that skillset?)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ ""Jacob cooked some stew" = There are some significant words and wordplays in this story that help clarify the points of the story. The verb “cook” is (zid), which sounds like the word for “hunter” (tsayid). This is deliberate, for the hunter becomes the hunted in this story. The word (zid) means “to cook, to boil,” but by the sound play with (tsayid) it comes to mean “set a trap by cooking.” The usage of the word shows that it can also have the connotation of acting presumptuously (as in boiling over). This too may be a comment on the scene."
(SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THE HEBREW??? THIS GIVES IT SO MUCH MORE GRAVITY & CLARITY!!!)

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "So Esau said to Jacob, “Feed me"; etc. = The rare term (la’at), translated “feed,” is used in later Hebrew for feeding animals. If this nuance was attached to the word in the biblical period, then it may depict Esau in a negative light, comparing him to a hungry animal. Famished Esau comes in from the hunt, only to enter the trap. He can only point at the red stew and ask Jacob to feed him."

‼️‼️‼️"The writer can use the word “red” to describe the stew that Esau gasped for to convey the nature of Esau and his descendants. They were a lusty, passionate, and profane people who lived for the moment. Again, the wordplay is meant to capture the “omen in the nomen.""

‼️‼️‼️"Esau is portrayed as a profane person who would at the moment rather have a meal than the right to inherit. He will soon forget this trade and seek his father's blessing in spite of it."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay time to Crack down on my REAL QUESTIONS here.

1. What was the key difference between the birthright and the blessing?
2. Why did Jacob want the birthright and Esau didn't?
3. Why did esau want the blessing but not the birthright?


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ “The family name and titles passed through the lineage of the oldest  son. The birthright was more than entitlement to the family inheritance; it involved a spiritual position as well. The place of the individual in the covenant status of Israel was part of the birthright and it was this aspect which made the foolishness of Esau so profound."

⭐‼️ "Esau did not place a high enough value on the birthright. He allowed his momentary hunger to cloud his judgment and did not think past the feeling in his belly to grasp what he was truly giving up and how it would affect his descendants."
(I'm emphasizing the big dichotomy here between THOUGHT + JUDGEMENT, and HUNGER + FEELING. Esau operated by the latter, and Jacob apparently by the former. This makes sense though, considering their occupations: Esau, a "man of the outdoors," needed to act on instinct & prioritize immediate survival. Jacob, "living in tents"– and apparently eating a vegetable diet that required extensive, slow, & patient preparation– had a mind predisposed to reflection and possibly even security, at least compared to his brother, whose next animal meal was never guaranteed and would move him about unpredictably. Jacob may have developed a sense of "assurance" that Esau didn't, so when Esau came in hungry & laserfocused on bodily needs, aware of how important meeting them was to an outdoorsman, Jacob did not share the same "life or death" perspective and probably couldn't even empathize. Jacob may have even disdained him. Ironically, Jacob was ALSO operating on "hunger"– but of the spiritual sort. He hungered for the birthright. Perhaps seeing Esau so desperately famished awakened that echo in himself; I cannot say what his mind was pondering as he cooked the stew. But for THAT to be his immediate response to his brother's rather tactless demand, suggests that he hit a nerve. In any case, Esau wasn't one to ruminate and plot like Jacob was. He was very "here and now." He apparently didn't typically consider the longterm ramifications of his decisions, possibly because he didn't see "tomorrow" as guaranteed, living in the wild as often as he did? Maybe he was so enamored with that lifestyle that he never bothered to consider how massive a shift in priorities the birthright would eventually require of him. And considering that he married idolatresses, in a blatantly careless disregard for his national and spiritual heritage, I don't even know if he was even thinking about "descendants" with any seriousness at all. In any case, his attitude in general was not one to ponder the fine points. Right now, he was an exhausted hunter, he knew his body's needs, and the future– with all its intangible and unpredictable mystery– could wait. He'd meet it when it got here. He didn't have the time, or mental capacity, to think about subtler things, and Jacob knew that. The problem? Esau apparently never had such time. For the very suggestion of forfeiting his birthright to not even raise a red flag, shows that the term itself held no significance or weight to him. It may have simply been a legal term, something he had coming to him, but again– he'd "deal with that situation when it arrived". He wasn't planning ahead. That's the impression I get. In contrast, Jacob seems to have been obsessing over it. He knew it had value to him, with his tent-life, probably immersed in family affairs, probably well aware of his history, probably dreaming of what could be. He had time to sit & cook his food. His physical hunger was not a concern; but his soul was ravenous. On that front, he was the skilled hunter.)
(One last bit= remember the "personality descriptions" with Jacob being "even-tempered" and "civilized" in comparison to his brother. Indeed, Esau’s temper here was not "even"; it seems it was subject to his emotions of the moment, easily shifting, prone to drama and fervor. His manners are also quite uncouth; we get the impression of volume, swagger, messy eating, and even entitlement here.) (MAYBE THAT'S WHAT SET JACOB OFF?? Esau was acting like, as the firstborn, he had a "right" to not only eat Jacob's food, but also for Jacob to FEED him? And Jacob retaliated, potentially acridly, that he'd serve his brother IF Esau gave up the firstborn privilege that was unconsciously coloring his actions. This would, in turn, be a strikingly ironic "echo" of the birth oracle, in which the "older would serve the younger," but orchestrated by subterfuge. By this brazen bid, Jacob was essentially refusing to be put in any position other than what the oracle predicted of him– which was a very proud attitude. Jacob may have had a genuine superiority complex, exacerbated by Isaac's favoritism and Esau's unappreciated privilege. In effect, while Esau couldn't think past the sensory shouts of his starving body, Jacob's hungry heart was clamoring just as loudly. Both brothers were blinded by their appetites, just on different levels.)

🌟🌟🌟‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Esau sold his birthright, in a sense, "fair and square". He couldn't really blame Jacob for that. [But] afterward, he kept his eyes on the blessing from his father, which he knew would be big because Isaac loved Esau more than Jacob. Esau had placed more value on the blessing (from his father) than the birthright (from GOD). He saw them as separate things. He belittled it over losing the birthright, but cried over losing the blessing."
(THAT'S THE DISTINCTION I WAS LOOKING TO FIND!!! These are KEY POINTS I had NEVER considered!)
(It sounds like Esau saw the birthright as almost trivial? Like, "so I get most of dad's stuff, I become the man of the house, I offer the animal sacrifices... big deal." Would that be a plausible thought on his part? Did he not rightly the property & estate, being an "outdoorsman"? Or did he already feel entitled to it? Did he already feel like he was as "important" as his father, due to the favoritism? Did he not have a clue as to the reverence and solemnity of the priesthood, and solely saw it almost as a "level up" to his hunting vocation?? So they birthright MAY have seemed like "things he already had" in some sense, that he "couldn't lose" in any significant way? OR, he wouldn't care much IF Jacob got the care of the property, and had to run the family affairs, and do religious duty, because then JACOB could deal with all those "domestic" responsibilities and Esau could just continue with his wild & free life???)
(BUT ESAU KNEW HIS FATHER FAVORED HIM AND WOULD GIVE HIM WHAT HE KNEW HIS SON WANTED??? So the blessing was like a Christmas present in contrast; it held promise & hope & excitement; it wasn't just cut-and-dry legal affairs. AND it was PERSONAL.)
(BUT HERE'S THE BIGGEST THING WE ALL MISSED!! ESAU'S EXPECTED BIRTHRIGHT ISN'T JUST BY CUSTOM OR TRADITION!! IT'S TOTALLY ATYPICAL AND UNIQUE!!! WHY? BECAUSE THIS BIRTHRIGHT IS FOR THE FIRSTBORN OF ISAAC, WHO IS THE FIRSTBORN OF ABRAHAM, WHO IS THE PATRIARCH OF THE COVENANT PROMISES!!! AND THOSE PROMISES ARE WHAT ALL HIS LINEAGE'S FIRSTBORN WILL NECESSARILY CARRY ON, BECAUSE THE WHOLE POINT OF THE FIRSTBORN PROMISES IS THE LINEAGE– THEY ARE ALL ULTIMATELY LEADING UP TO THE MESSIAH!!!)
(Esau not only prioritized the hoped-for material gain of the Fatherly blessing, but he also SEPARATED it from the SPIRITUAL PURPOSE of the birthright responsibilities!! In this way he effectively compartmentalized the two contexts??? He wanted to "live his life" of wealth & power, and then just "manage God's household" on the side?? In spirit, THAT'S IDOLATRY. And that's ALSO foreshadowed by his having TWO wives, who didn't believe in the LORD!! )
(Esau’s entire attitude around faith and religion is so lackadaisical that I wonder if he'd never had any personal experience of God. Maybe to him, it was more "story" than reality, and certainly less tangible than his hunter's life. After all, they were only two generations in to the Covenant!! There was barely any "proof" of God yet; FAITH was PARAMOUNT. The problem is, they were also living in a world of false gods. So it was probably also much easier than to it would even be for Israel to put one's faith in the wrong place, and that's what Esau did. He trusted in human strength, not God's power. He banked on human hopes, not God's promises.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Jacob was selfish because he would not share the stew with his brother. Esau was selfish because he was thinking only of himself: He had no right to sell or trade away his birthright. Both brothers were thinking only of themselves."
(Oh wow I didn't think about that side of it with Esau, ESPECIALLY in light of the finally clarified fact that THIS birthright wasn't merely legal; it was INHERENTLY ATTACHED TO THE COVENANT because he was ISAAC'S FIRSTBORN!! So, unlike all other firstborn sons, Esau DIDN'T have any right to sell or trade or reject it, because it was GIVEN BY GOD on SPECIAL & SPECIFIC TERMS. Just like the family line, it was MEANT to be EXCLUSIVE. So Esau's marriages already proved his utter ignorance, or total disregard, of this solemn and privileged uniqueness. But it was also a sad sign of his predestined doom– he WASN'T the true heir anyway, and his way of life only illustrated his unfitness.)
(It hits unexpectedly hard that Jacob wouldn't share. He failed to show free hospitality to his hungry brother. He instead used Esau's own need against him as leverage for his OWN gain. He wasn't just 'not sharing'; he was also stealing! There is no way to justify such behavior, especially since Jacob probably would have pulled the "but he deserved to be tricked/ didn't deserve the birthright" card, criticizing his brother's boorish attitude in an act of equally entitled arrogance. For his heart to have immediately been closed to sharing food, AND for his later deception of his own father to have ALSO involved the self-appropriating misuse of another's due food, reveals a hardness there that he probably wasn't aware of, or wanted to admit... especially if he was using "the prophecy" as justification for his rather selfish decisions, claiming they were "for the greater good", and therefore letting spiritual pride rule him.)

⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Jacob knew his brother. He knew he cared nothing for the birthright. He knew that he could bargain for it and that he would get it. It is ludicrous to suppose that any sane man would trade a birthright for a bowl of soup - unless he already despised that birthright. And, as such, he did not deserve it. And it was foretold, that he would not have it."

⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Esau traded a double portion, priestly position, and judicial authority in the family for stew. He gave up his blessings. Why would he do this? Why would he throw away these gifts? As we look forward to Genesis 27, Esau prepares for his blessing as if he did not swear it to Jacob. Maybe that oath to Jacob seemed like a joke to him? Maybe Esau did not take the stew situation seriously?"


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's Gospel homily hit hard = "heaven doesn't fall out of the sky into our lap"; we have to SEARCH DILIGENTLY for it, and THEN we have to BUY IT!!!

Papal reflection elaborates with MAJOR JACOB/ESAU VIBES =

"These parallel stories highlight two characteristics regarding possession of the Kingdom of God: searching and sacrifice. It is true that the Kingdom of God is offered to all — it is a gift, it is a present, it is a grace — but it does not come on a silver platter: it requires dynamism; it is about searching, journeying, working hard. The attitude of searching is the essential condition for finding. The heart must burn with the desire to reach the valuable good, that is, the Kingdom of God which is made present in the person of Jesus. He is the hidden treasure; he is the pearl of great value. He is the fundamental discovery who can make a decisive change in our lives, filling it with meaning.
Faced with the unexpected discovery, both the farmer and the merchant realize that they are facing a unique opportunity which should not be missed; hence, they sell all that they own. Assessing the inestimable value of the treasure leads to a decision that also implies sacrifice, detachment and renunciation. When the treasure and the pearl are discovered, that is, when we have found the Lord, we must not let this discovery become barren, but rather sacrifice everything else in order to acquire it. It is not a question of disdaining the rest but of subordinating them to Jesus, putting him in first place; grace in first place. (Pope Francis, Angelus, 30 July 2017)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

In tears over the LOVE OF GOD in today's devotionals

"Fully conscious of his own lost estate, and of the deceitfulness and vileness of his nature, yet, by a glorious outburst of faith, he sings “nevertheless I am continually with thee.” Believer, you are forced to enter into Asaph’s confession and acknowledgment, endeavour in like spirit to say “nevertheless, since I belong to Christ I am continually with God!” By this is meant continually upon his mind, he is always thinking of me for my good. Continually before his eye;—the eye of the Lord never sleepeth, but is perpetually watching over my welfare. Continually in his hand, so that none shall be able to pluck me thence. Continually on his heart, worn there as a memorial, even as the high priest bore the names of the twelve tribes upon his heart forever. Thou always thinkest of me, O God. The bowels of thy love continually yearn towards me. Thou art always making providence work for my good. Thou hast set me as a signet upon thine arm; thy love is strong as death, many waters cannot quench it; neither can the floods drown it..."

"I appeal to you by the mercy of God. This appeal is made by Paul, or rather, it is made by God through Paul, because of God's desire to be loved rather than feared, to be a father rather than a Lord. God appeals to us in his mercy to avoid having to punish us in his severity. Listen to the Lord's appeal: In me, I want you to see your own body, your members, your heart, your bones, your blood. You may fear what is divine, but why not love what is human? You may run away from me as the Lord, but why not run to me as your father? Perhaps you are filled with shame for causing my bitter passion. Do not be afraid. This cross inflicts a mortal injury, not on me, but on death. These nails no longer pain me, but only deepen your love for me. I do not cry out because of these wounds, but through them I draw you into my heart. My body was stretched on the cross as a symbol, not of how much I suffered, but of my all-embracing love. I count it no less to shed my blood: it is the price I have paid for your ransom. Come, then, return to me and learn to know me as your father, who repays good for evil, love for injury, and boundless charity for piercing wounds..."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------








------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He subdues peoples under us
    and nations under our feet.
Our inheritance, our glory, is from him,
    given to Jacob out of love.


The princes of the peoples are assembled
    with the people of Abraham’s God.
The rulers of the earth belong to God,
    to God who reigns over all.


May all peoples be gathered into your Church to form a holy nation, a kingly priesthood, your own chosen heritage, to praise and adore your divine majesty, now and for ever.

we, too, give ourselves entirely to you in praise.
Through Christ our Lord.


This little joyful pair of parables could well have been told by Jesus at a moment of discouragement for the disciples: ‘you may be having difficulties, but it is all worth it.’ The follower of Jesus must be convinced that the Kingdom is worth everything: the demands are absolute, as we have seen so constantly with the volunteer who was not allowed even to bury his dead, or the ones who must enter life crippled or half-blind in order to avoid harming others. The feature which appears in both parables is ‘sell everything he owns’.

072925

Jul. 29th, 2025 08:51 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
PRECIOUS BLOOD MORNING!
I swear if we DO get a bicycle, I will GLADLY make the mini pilgrimage to this church every morning (except Thursday unfortunately, no morning mass) JUST to receive both Species. It does something profoundly Good for my heart. I NEED the Blood. It's part of who I AM, somehow. God knows that I'm sure.

Got home JUST IN TIME to prep things and eat, thank You God once again, He always comes through at the very last yet perfect moment; His timing is impeccable. (Of course)

LUNCH RUSH!!!
Well really its breakfast but this injoke is eternal


Bought carrots by compulsion again. TERRIFIED though.
Remember they feel like broken glass to eat! And they're ADDICTIVE!!
I'm going to just bravely leave the whole bag downstairs for someone else. It'll be an act of almsgiving. Thank You God for the opportunity to REALLY SACRIFICE with this because our stupid addict brain WANTS to keep the carrots although we KNOW the will trigger the panic purging. So NO. We will donate them for the glory of God.


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Etymology day for Jacob because we have no time to type heavy reflections right now.
Plus we NEED this extra knowledge to understand more thoroughly.

6117. aqab 
"Esau replied, “Is he not rightly named 'Jacob'? For he has supplanted me these two times..."
VERSUS
6119. aqeb
"Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding on to Esau’s heel, so he was named 'Jacob'..."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

➕ 6117. aqab
"1. (properly) to swell out or up
(Remember yesterday with 7613 seeth!! Notable contrast between pride & humility in "lifting up"= through self effort or through God's will!!)
2. to seize by the heel
3. To circumvent (as if tripping up the heels)
4. also to restrain (as if holding by the heel)"
‼️"To stay, supplant, follow at the heel, assail insidiously, overreach, take, deal craftily"

⭐ "Aqab" conveys the notion of grasping from behind— whether literally seizing the heel, or figuratively out-maneuvering, deceiving, or withholding. From this verb comes the patriarchal name Jacob (Yaʿaqōb), so every biblical occurrence of the verb invites reflection on the interplay between human craftiness and divine overruling."
(You cannot "sneak up on" God! To try to "outwit" Him is insane hubris. And yet, all sin acts like it can.)

⭐‼️‼️Esau’s cry frames "aqab" as deliberate manipulation. Jacob’s scheming cannot thwart the covenant, yet the verb exposes the moral cost of self-promotion.
(Self-promotion is always detestable in God's sight, even when "along the lines of what God wants"– which was Rebekah's motivation in both inducing & accompanying her son in this sin! She knew God had promised that "the older would serve the younger," but she had no right to FORCE that on her OWN terms!! She was indeed cursed by her own words.)
(What part of the Covenant was JACOB trying to thwart though?? HIS scheme was TAKING THE BIRTHRIGHT; his mother goaded him to take the patriarchal blessing too! Let me Google this...)

⭐"The birthright was a custom that gave the firstborn son a privileged place in the family, affording him a double portion of his father’s estate, a special blessing by his father, and leadership in the family. The birthright was Esau’s, but in a moment of hunger, impulsive and short-sighted Esau traded his birthright for a bowl of soup. “Thus Esau despised his birthright” = He treated it as something of little or no value."
(So Esau would get 1. Double the material inheritance, 2. a personal blessing, 3. The role OF "patriarch" upon Isaac's death?)

⭐⭐‼️"The birthright was-- legally speaking-- Esau's inheritance advantage as the firstborn son. His was a double portion of his father's estate... along with the family business and leadership... [but] SPIRITUAL leadership was entailed on the COVENANT Family. Esau was naturally in line to receive [BOTH:] the birthright and the blessing of the covenant promises."
(So Jacob was trying to "thwart" the FIRST-BORN RIGHT to the Covenant genetic inheritance??? Oh wait NO, Esau only complained over losing the PATRIARCHAL BLESSING– he apparently valued THAT more than birthright business?? Wait the COVENANT was TIED TO ISAAC!! So Jacob WAS trying to thwart the genetic precedence! And Esau wanted THOSE promises! Is that ironic, since the promises were long-term and Esau sold his birthright for short-term gain?? What WAS the key distinction between birthright & blessing?? I need to read more into this.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Scripture puts the loss of the birthright in perspective, by telling us plainly that 1. Esau despised the birthright--something he should have valued for its own sake, and 2. that [the birthright] was his from God, not merely from a 'natural accident'. This advantage meant no more to him than a passing hunger pang. We should note that he did not "trade" his birthright 'double portion' for Jacob's 'single'; after the transaction, Jacob stood to inherit his father's ENTIRE estate in property terms, which he "bought" for a bowl of soup, taking advantage of his brother's casual indifference. By the way, this maneuver doesn't reflect well on Jacob's character."
(So Esau DIDN'T WANT his father's PROPERTY?? Or at least didn't care much about it? Was it because they were still living in a foreign land? Or did Esau want to "make his own way" out of pride? Again, I have no clue. More research is needed.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️"We also know Esau was profane, and did not share the faith of his father. Yet, this lack of true faith did not mean he saw no earthly advantage to possessing his father's special relationship with Deity. Esau reckoned a great advantage was due him when Isaac indicated he would pass his blessing along to his favorite son. Isaac's present wealth was destined for Jacob; but Esau's calculus was that the God-of-blessing would oversee his future (as he had done for Isaac) and therefore Esau would be quite secure in earthly terms as he pursued his OWN aims."
(OH MAN THIS HITS SICKENINGLY HARD.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Isaac was [apparently] planning on severing the blessing from the birthright, as Jacob's securing the one did not compel the other to his own interest."
(Was this "spiritually illegal" on Isaac's part??? Or did he NOT KNOW that Esau had forfeited his birthright? After all, I doubt either brother would have spoken of it, out of shame!)

⭐"To "despise your birthright" means to undervalue or disregard something of great importance, often spiritual or familial, in favor of immediate gratification or trivial pursuits. Esau "despised his birthright" by trading it for a single meal, demonstrating a lack of appreciation for the significant privileges and responsibilities that came with being the firstborn son."
(It also proves his PRIORITIES. Maybe his "wild & free man of the land" attitude clashed with the very idea of becoming "responsible for the family"??? I mean, his knee-jerk reaction to hunger was "feed me now." He had no temperance, no capacity for self-denial. He put his immediate & selfish need over the long-term & communal need. He was unwilling to sacrifice. He was also therefore unable, from lack of moral fiber, to call Jacob out on what was a blatantly inappropriate request!! So Esau apparently did NOT have the kind of character ABLE to regard spiritual things as important. He "lived in the moment," and for his own pleasure. Lastly, maybe he felt "entitled" to privileges, which would make him unappreciative?? Maybe he assumed he was so favored by his father that he didn't "need" an intangible "birthright" to get what he wanted? Who knows. In any case, all such questions operate on the same basis = Esau was only thinking of personal, material gain. He was not interested in the BIG picture of God's Covenant Plan.)

‼️‼️‼️ "Esau, firstborn heir of the covenant, valued that [spiritual] privilege so lightly he traded it in for a [carnal] pot of stew- and since he despised the things of God, he was despised [by God]... For one serving of food which satisfied him for only a few hours, Esau gave up blessings which extend into eternity!"
(ADAM'S SIN WAS OVER FOOD, TOO!!!)
(BUT the PRIMARY sin, seen first in Eve, was the DOUBT OF GOD'S RELIABILITY. It was a LOSS OF UNCONDITIONAL TRUST in God's Always Good Will. She DIDN'T TRUST GOD TO PROVIDE HER NEED ON HIS OWN TERMS?? I guess what I'm asking is: was that Esau's attitude too? Was his overall "hunger" for worldly things such that he couldn't "wait on God"? If he had refused to sell his birthright and gone temporarily hungry as a result, would he have trusted God to feed him at some point, and the proper time, trusting that He knows our needs? Did Esau even HAVE a SPIRITUAL hunger???)

⭐⭐⭐"Yet God had other plans for Jacob, as His chosen seed. The path Jacob took to obtain the spiritual blessing of his father and the leadership it conferred was ungodly, yet God allowed Jacob's sinful deceit to be the means of GOD'S providing those to him... In earthly terms, Jacob stole the blessing from his brother; but in heavenly terms, GOD gave the blessing to whom HE would, and withheld it from whom He would... Jacob had a long time to learn his lesson that spiritual blessings are not obtainable by carnal-- let alone sinful-- effort..."
(This paradox of Divine Sovereignty is what I've been learning in that book Tony gave me. Literally nothing escapes God's Will. Even when "bad things" happen to us, even if God didn't "directly ordain" it, He DOES "permit it," otherwise it wouldn't have happened. And EVERYTHING serves God, whether it realizes that or wants to or not. This is inevitable, because God IS, and everything exists through & for & in Him. So yes, God gave humans the special gift of Free Will, but that ability to "choose" does not make us "free" of the laws of reality. We can make free actions, and free moral choices, but honestly, any mortal can tell you how "small" the sphere of "freedom" is. There are limitations & hindrances everywhere, inside & outside ourselves. That's just how life is. But we STILL have free will! And God STILL RESPECTS IT, even if it by principle can never thwart or frustrate or even slightly delay or alter His Plans & Purposes. Honestly that's a HUGE RELIEF. But it also carries this painful & confusing side= yes, God's Promises to us WILL be fulfilled, but if WE make stupid decisions along the way, especially trying to "make it happen on our own," God will ALSO allow those. He will mysteriously work them INTO the application of His Promise, with Omniscient perfection. BUT we will STILL pay the consequences for our sins. We are not "absolved" just because God can use our bad choices for His purposes too. Justice still stands true.)
(Jacob's path was "ungodly" because 1. he tried to "OBTAIN" what was spiritual by carnal means. Therefore he "didn't involve God" in the methods. But even worse, 2. Those means were unloving. He deceived his own family TWICE. He stole what he legally had no right to. He took advantage of his family's flaws to serve his own interests. Such sinful efforts could NEVER result in spiritual profit! THEREFORE, Jacob COULDN'T have "stolen" the Promise!! You can't lay physical hands on an intangible reality! In the end, in BOTH cases, the "concepts" Jacob attempted to grasp were ONLY "REALIZED" BY GOD'S GIVING WHAT THEY DESCRIBED.)
(Perhaps Jacob deserves a bit of merciful credit too. As his mothers favorite, perhaps he KNEW of the prophecy about him in the womb?? If so, then he probably had AMBITION towards that end since childhood, possibly fomented by watching Esau behave in ways that he (and maybe his mother too) judged as "unworthy" or "unfit" for the patriarchal inheritance??? But at the root this was all unhealthy outgrowth from a holy awareness– the bottom line that "the older would serve the younger." Their fallen human natures may have just "jumped on" that divine pledge as a "goal" to pursue by their own power, and therefore as a "justification" to whatever cunning means they employed to ensure it. Still, if they didn't believe God, they wouldn't have acted on His Promise, even if their actions were broken. Plus, their "zeal" to obtain it proved that they knew its value! They HAD faith, and they RESPECTED the Promise, in the end. The narrative suggests that Esau didn't. If he knew what the birthright meant in God's plan, he wouldn't have sold it, especially not so carelessly.)

(Did they DOUBT GOD'S CAPABILITY??? Did they fear that, if Esau got the blessing, it would somehow "override" the prophecy??)

(WAS JACOB'S PRIDE WOUNDED???
Esau acting "entitled" to food
Jacob having to "serve" HIM
Was he "disgusted" by Esau's attitude, judging him "unworthy" of the birthright & deciding to "JUSTLY" take it???)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Moreover, it is vital that the recipient of such blessing come to realize that the earthly good that was bound up with the blessing served ONLY as a SIGN of the spiritual good: the Reality it pointed to.
Jacob, by coming to faith in the God of his fathers, also came to value the Promise, AND the Giver, above the gifts. Esau would never have valued the Reality, had he any idea what the signs even meant."
(So the TRUE blessing WAS SPIRITUAL, in ALL aspects??? After all, the land & people & honor were, in the end, FULFILLED IN CHRIST. The earthly side of that greater benefit was "a bonus" in comparison. So to avoid dishonoring God AND His Messiah, God made sure that the line of blessing included men who DID realize the true purpose of it, however dimly– that it extended far beyond them in time & effect & intention, always pointing to a future only God knew, and therefore testifying of a higher reality. But this realization is ONLY POSSIBLE BY FAITH. GOD gives the land & descendants, but why? They don't really know. They benefit from it, yes, but the greater plan is hidden. All they CAN do is trust that there IS such a plan, and obey Him for His sake, in Whom they believe and serve. Faith has to be selfless in a very real sense. Faith values the Giver more than the gifts because faith loves the Giver. To believe in God, truly so, lifts the heart out of the world. His Goodness is so beautiful, when we finally grasp a tiny bit of it, that it puts all worldly glamor to shame. When we realize HE is the SOURCE of all our gifts, that He GAVE them to us IN His merciful love, that generous love alone steals our heart away from the material goods! Once we have faith, ALL our earthly possessions become signs of grace, all pointing to God, because we know from Whose deliberate and mighty Hand they came, and Whose Fatherly Heart freely bestowed them for our Good.
So... what a frightening thought, that Esau WOULDN'T have valued this Reality. Why? Would knowing of a deeper spiritual "purpose" have "ruined" the appeal of earthly things for him? Was he unwilling to acknowledge or accept the moral responsibility such knowledge would demand? Was he too content living his freeroaming hunter's life, to "sit in tents" like Jacob, praying in quiet stillness? Was he too proud to admit that his life & vigor were "not meant for him," but intended to serve a greater purpose, meant to be just one more link in the blessed chain of men ultimately leading to Christ? This commentary effectively claims he had "no room" for spiritual goods in his life. Is that what a lack of a contemplative life does? Is that what a sense of one's own power– especially in a hunter, a sort of power over life– does to a soul? Esau wouldn't let himself be humbled, not even by hunger– not even by losing the blessing. He never showed any self-doubt or reticence. He always had to be "in control" or at least "coming out on top." Even when hungry, he basically demanded food, acting as if it was his right to have it– in his dramatic lament, he somehow still refused to plead or ask from need. His attitude was all headstrong, all still keeping himself in a higher position than his brother. Esau wept for the loss of his blessing, but only because he had lost a benefit, not from contrition or "holy" sorrow– indeed, his tears quickly evaporated in rage, and he swore to kill his brother and get even. Esau didn't think about God in any of his troubles, but instead hefted his own might & sought his own interests. Esau could never have "used" the gifts properly, because God couldn't use HIM.)

⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️"As a man of God, Jacob [and 'Israel' at large] was included in the lineage of the eventual Savior, while Esau and his descendants suffered for his attitude towards God. Esau became a picture of rejection throughout the Bible.
God uses us to carry out HIS will if we love and respect Him. [BUT] Esau disregarded God’s law, married women outside of Israel, and didn’t respect his birthright. [THEREFORE] It was part of God’s providential plan that Esau be excluded from the line that would lead to Christ!!"
(THAT'S THE REAL BLESSING = BEING CONNECTED TO THE MESSIAH!! But to be in that lineage you HAVE to be GODLY– even if you have great struggles with sin, like ALL the Patriarchs did, even King David! But they STILL LIVED BY FAITH, and strove to become better. In contrast, apparently, Esau didn't give a thought to God's honor.
(God "LET" Jacob take the birthright even if it was manipulative, because ESAU HAD ALREADY DISOWNED IT in his actions & attitude???)
(BTW MARRYING "OUTSIDE OF "ISRAEL"" here refers to ABRAHAM'S lineage– therefore it ACTUALLY MEANS "MARRYING OUTSIDE OF THE COVENANT"!!! )

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️"Instead, God chose Jacob, who was flawed, yet faithful, to carry on His [MESSIANIC!] promise to Isaac and Abraham. Despite his shortcomings, Jacob proved upright in the end, honoring God in his actions.
God’s covenant would not fail; He would form His people from their family, and through that family, bring His Son into the world."
(Christ Jesus came into this world to SAVE SINNERS and Jacob's story is a PROOF of the TRUTH of that divinely redemptive purpose, even all the way leading up to its fulfillment. Jacob himself became a sign, pointing to the Savior! )
(Christ MUST have an honorable lineage, however flawed.)

⭐‼️ "It is important that we keep ourselves unstained from the world and listen to God's Word, that we may have eternal life in Him."
(Esau WAS "stained by the world"??)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"...the tragic story of Esau warns of the consequences of being a profane person, i.e. one unable to appreciate holy things and other blessings from God. Because he sold his birthright for one morsel of food, Genesis describes him as having “despised his birthright.” The rights and privileges of being the firstborn son of Isaac, the sole heir of Abraham, meant little to shortsighted Esau. His profane nature would be seen again when he married two Hittite women and brought grief to his parents— a couple whose own marriage was carefully arranged by Abraham so that his son would NOT marry a woman of Canaan. Because of this profane nature, Esau has lived on in infamy as the great illustration of one who irretrievably lost an important blessing because of an inability to see what really mattered."


⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Jacob was second by birth, and naturally would have been further blessed (as in his youth) through a continued connection to the singular or principal heir of the covenant--presumably Esau if he had been worthy. But as we know it was never God's intent to so regard Esau, a thing prophesied in the birth oracle. JACOB was the divinely designated heir, and in his line of descent should eventually come the [true] Seed and Heir. Hence, the true meaning of the blessing: Earthy blessing was given unto the end of divine fulfillment in Christ. It was vital to realizing that end that the heir to the blessing be a man of faith—Abraham's faith."
(I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION= ESAU WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE THE TRUE HEIR!! The birth oracle apparently forbade it, in saying he would SERVE Jacob!!)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Esau put his temporary, physical needs over his God-given blessing... In the New Testament, Esau’s choice to sell his birthright is used as an example of ungodliness a “godless” person who will put physical desires over spiritual blessings. By his negative example, Esau teaches us to hold fast to what is truly important, even if it means denying the appetites of the flesh. Both Old and New Testaments use the story of Jacob and Esau to illustrate God’s calling and election. God chose the younger Jacob to carry on the Abrahamic Covenant, while Esau was providentially excluded from the Messianic line."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "When we first met Jacob and Esau… from before birth into adulthood, these two brothers fought over everything. But at the very heart of their hatred for one another has been this question: who is going to win the Father’s blessing? Who is going to win God’s protection and provision? Who is going to gain God’s love?
And really this question lies at the heart of every human conflict. We fight over resources, we fight over ideas, we fight over a million different things! but underneath it all lies the poison of fear: the fear of missing out. The fear of losing what is most precious to us: the love of our Father."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"Abraham had worked very hard to make sure Isaac would not get entangled in marriage with the local people and the local gods. Abraham’s household is supposed to be a living model of what true worship looks like — and that will never work if the household gets tangled up with other gods and other systems of worship. And what Scripture is showing us here is that, once again, Esau despises his birthright. Esau knows the story of how his mother Rebekah was brought from far away at great effort and expense, and he knows why! but he does not care. Esau, by marrying idolatresses, despises God’s plan to use Abraham’s household to bless all the nations on earth. And by this point in Genesis, we have learned that if a man really wants out of God’s plan, then God will let him go."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Abraham loved Ishmael, whom God rejected, and who also rejected God. In the same way, Isaac loves Esau, whom God has rejected, who has also rejected God! Scripture wants us to make this connection between Esau and Ishmael: that is why it makes special mention of Esau’s quiver and bow, because in the previous generation it was Ishmael who grew up to be a famous archer.
So just like Abraham, Isaac loves his oldest son. However, unlike Abraham— in this case— Isaac is not willing to set Esau aside at the Lord’s command, as Abraham was willing to set Ishmael aside. Isaac knows about the prophecy Rebekah received before the boys were born: he knows that the older is destined to serve the younger. In fact, he probably also knows about how Esau gave away his inheritance for a bowl of dal. But Isaac loves Esau more than Jacob! So he is going to ignore the prophecy, ignore the deal that his sons made between them, and bless Esau anyway.
And we know that Isaac knows that he is going against God’s will here because he asks Esau to meet him privately. Everywhere else in the bible, when a father is getting ready to die, he calls all of his children together so he can give each one a share of the family blessing. But here Isaac only calls Esau. His plan— his secret plan— is to give 100% of the blessing to Esau, and leave nothing for Jacob.
But Isaac should have known that God cannot be mocked or manipulated: because it turns out that Rebekah noticed her husband’s strange behaviour, and she made sure to be listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau."

‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Notice: Jacob is not worried about lying, he’s worried about getting caught."

‼️‼️‼️"Isaac feels compelled to check three times and make sure this is Esau. And the fact that Isaac IS so suspicious gives us some insight into what his household has been like during these years of conflict: Jacob is clearly well-known for his deceptive ways, he is well-known for how he manipulated and robbed his brother, and Isaac is seriously worried that something similar could happen to him!"

⭐‼️ "These men, father and son, plotted together to cut Jacob out of the inheritance. And now their plan has backfired terribly upon them. Isaac intended to give Esau everything. Now he has given Jacob everything."

⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️ "in Isaac's blessing to Esau we find another connection between Esau and Ishmael. Because, back in Chapter 16, when pregnant Hagar was in the desert running away from Sarah’s abuse, God told her that her son Ishmael “will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone, and everyone hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.” And that sounded bad! — until we realized that, for a poor, abused slave-girl, this promise was good news, because it was a promise that her son would not be a slave. And so, even though Ishmael grew up to reject God’s covenant promises, still God kept HIS promise, and gave Ishmael the blessing of not being a slave to others in this life. 
In the same way, this blessing for Esau sounds bad. And it is bad! But for a man like Esau, who craves strength and independence above all, this good news. He has already rejected God’s covenant promises, and now HE has been rejected BY God’s covenant promises — but still, God is going to keep HIS promise, and allow Esau to break free from slavery in the future."

‼️"Isaac’s blindness is not just physical, it is spiritual as well. So far in Genesis, blindness and spiritual foolishness have always gone together... So when Scripture opens this episode here by telling us that Isaac is old and blind, we are supposed to connect the dots and realize that Isaac is no longer the wise man he used to be... The young man who was once willing to give up his own life to God’s plan, has turned into an old man unwilling to give up his son Esau to God’s plan."

⭐⭐"Just about the only good news we can find here is that, with Isaac’s final words, he does pass on to Jacob “the blessing given to Abraham.” So even though God’s covenant household is now a total train-wreck, God’s covenant with Abraham is still secure. God’s plan to bless all nations on earth is still on track."

‼️‼️‼️ "Esau suddenly realizes how displeasing his Canaanite wives were to his father Isaac; "so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, Ishmael’s daughter." And you know what? We have to give Esau some credit here: his heart is finally in the right place. So far he has totally despised his birthright, given away his inheritance, gotten married — twice! — without consulting his parents! But here, as soon as he realizes how unhappy his father is about all this…he tries to do the right thing, and marry someone from within the family of Abraham. It’s just really too bad that, instead of actually consulting his dad, he just went and married into the wrong side of the family. He marries the daughter of the rejected son of Abraham: Ishmael, the son who rejected God. And so, as a result, Esau actually ends up confirming his own rejection of God, and his own rejection by God. The rejected household of Esau has now bound itself into a covenant with the rejected household of Ishmael."

⭐‼️"And this detail meant something to the ancient people of Israel, the people of Moses’ generation. They had an uncomfortable relationship with the Ishmaelites and especially with the Edomites, who were the people descended from Esau. So all this history about Esau was meant to help the people understand why the Edomites were so nasty.
This history was also meant to help the people of Israel be kind to the Edomites, even though the Edomites were so nasty. In fact, later on, in the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses makes this point explicit: he says, “Do not despise an Edomite, for the Edomites are related to you. The third generation of children born to them may enter the assembly of the Lord.” In other words, if the Edomites come and want to join our nation in worship, let them!
And so this history of Esau also contains hope; this hope that, one day, God is going to call ALL the rejected sons of Abraham, and all the rejected nations, back into the blessing and protection of the covenant. Esau and Ishmael have both rejected God’s covenant, but this does not mean that God has completely cast them off: the promise of blessing for all nations is also a promise for them."
...So the Old Testament prophets told the people of Israel, “Don’t worry, the story is not over yet. Yes, Esau has rebelled against Jacob’s rule, and taken terrible revenge upon us, just as Isaac prophesied. But a day is coming when Jacob’s nation— David’s kingdom— will be restored, and the people of Esau will be fully incorporated into God’s covenant, along with people from all the other nations.” ...Jesus’ Judgement Day on the cross turned out to be the Judgement Day that Amos had prophesied: “In that day,” Amos said, “on Judgement Day, I will restore David’s fallen shelter, and will rebuild it as it used to be, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and all the nations that bear my name!" And here we are today: God’s people gathered in from every nation of the earth to worship under the protection and blessing of God’s covenant with Abraham. Christ’s Church is David’s kingdom that is being restored. Christ’s Church is God’s kingdom growing on earth. Christ’s Church is the fulfillment of all these ancient prophecies.
And this is why we can say that the Good News for the ancient people of Israel is also our Good News: even though God’s covenant nation often looks like a total train-wreck…God’s covenant with Abraham is still secure. God’s plan to bless all nations on earth through Abraham is still on track. The great in-gathering of all the lost sons of Abraham is happening right now, before our very eyes! — if we have the eyes to see it."

There's a LOT more in the article for edification purposes, but I just wanted to include the Scripture & salvation history bits as a "context" for the big picture, and a stunning clarification of God's mercy & faithfulness even when His people reject Him.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Rebekah had watched the twins grow up. She knew that Esau was a hunter, a man of violence. She had seen that he was impetuous, mercurial, a man of impulse, not calm reflection. She had seen him sell his birthright for a bowl of soup. She had watched while he ate, drank, rose and left. So Esau despised his birthright”. No one who despises his birthright can be the trusted guardian of a covenant intended for eternity."

⭐‼️‼️ "Esau's marriages were also evidence of his failure to understand what the covenant requires. By marrying Hittite women he proved himself indifferent both to the feelings of his parents and to the self-restraint in the choice of marriage partner that was essential to being Abraham’s heir."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"It is impossible to read Genesis 27 and not to feel sympathy for Isaac and Esau rather than Rebecca and Jacob. The Torah is sparing in its use of emotion... [so] phrases like “trembled violently” and “burst out with a loud and bitter cry” cannot but affect us deeply. Here is an old man who has been deceived by his younger son, and a young man, Esau, who feels cheated out of what was rightfully his. The emotions triggered by this scene will long stay with us. Then consider the consequences. Jacob had to stay away from home for more than twenty years, fearing of his life. He then suffered an almost identical deceit practised against him by Laban when he substituted Leah for Rachel. When Jacob cried out “Why did you deceive me", Laban replied: “It is not done in our place to place the younger before the elder”. Not only the act but even the words imply a punishment, measure for measure. “Deceit,” of which Jacob accuses Laban, is the very word Isaac used about Jacob. Laban’s reply sounds like a virtually explicit reference to what Jacob had done, as if to say, “We do not do in our place what you have just done in yours.”... as you have done to others, so will others do to you. The deception brought all concerned great grief, and this persisted into the next generation."

‼️‼️"Jacob was deceived yet again, this time by his sons, when they brought him Joseph’s bloodstained robe: another deception of a father by his children involving the use of clothes."

⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️"Isaac fully understood the nature of his two sons. He loved Esau but this did not blind him to the fact that Jacob would be the heir of the covenant. Therefore Isaac prepared two sets of blessings, one for Esau, the other for Jacob. He blessed Esau with the gifts he felt Esau would appreciate: “May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness– an abundance of grain and new wine”– that is, wealth. “May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you” –that is, power. These are not the covenantal blessings.
The covenantal blessings that God had given Abraham and Isaac were completely different. They were about children and a land. It is this blessing that Isaac later gave Jacob before he left home: “May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples” – that is, children. “May He give you and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now reside as a foreigner, the land God gave to Abraham” – that is, landThis was the blessing Isaac had intended for Jacob all along. There was no need for deceit and disguise.
Jacob eventually came to understand all this, perhaps during his wrestling match with the angel during the night before his meeting with Esau after their long estrangement. What happened at that meeting is incomprehensible unless we understand that Jacob was giving back to Esau the blessings he had wrongly taken from him. The massive gift of sheep, cattle and other livestock represented “heaven’s dew and earth’s richness,” that is, wealth. The fact that Jacob bowed down seven times to Esau was his way of fulfilling the words, “May the sons of your mother bow down to you,” that is, power. Jacob gave the blessing back. Indeed he said so explicitly."

"Rebecca and Jacob made a mistake, a forgivable one, an understandable one, but a mistake nonetheless. The blessing Isaac was about to give Esau was not the blessing of Abraham. He intended to give Esau a blessing appropriate to him. In so doing, he was acting on the basis of precedent. God had blessed Ishmael, with the words “I will make him into a great nation.” This was the fulfilment of a promise God had given Abraham many years before when He told him that it would be Isaac, not Ishmael, who would continue the covenant... It may be that this was a fact that Rebecca did not know. She associated blessing with covenant. She may have been unaware that Abraham wanted Ishmael blessed even though he would not inherit the covenant, and that God had acceded to the request.
If so, then it is possible all four people acted rightly as they understood the situation, yet still tragedy occurred. Isaac was right to wish Esau blessed as Abraham sought for Ishmael. Esau acted honourably toward his father. Rebecca sought to safeguard the future of the covenant. Jacob felt qualms but did what his mother said, knowing she would not have proposed deceit without a strong moral reason for doing so."

"There is such a thing as an honest mistake, and it is a mark of Jacob’s greatness that he recognised it and made amends to Esau. In the great encounter twenty-two years later the estranged brothers meet, embrace, part as friends and go their separate ways. But first, Jacob had to wrestle with an angel. That is how the moral life is. We learn by making mistakes. We live life forward, but we understand it only looking back. Only then do we see the wrong turns we inadvertently made. This discovery is sometimes our greatest moment of moral truth."

"For each of us there is a blessing that is ours. That was true not just of Isaac but also Ishmael, not just Jacob but also Esau. The moral could not be more powerful. Never seek your brother’s blessing. Be content with your own."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"As noted by the Netziv (Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehudah Berlin, 19th century commentator), Isaac proposed to bless Esau with birkas haaretz (the blessing of the land)–physical plenitude and mastery over the physical world.
Reserved for Jacob, and conferred upon him by Isaac before he fled to Laban’s house, was birkas Avraham (the blessing of Abraham)–the blessing that Abraham received ensuring that his descendants would be God’s chosen nation.
Isaac had no reason to think that one of his sons would be rejected; he believed they would both lead this chosen nation as partners, with Esau as General, mastering the physical world, and Jacob as High Priest, carrying on the spiritual legacy.
However, Rebecca, the mother of these two brothers and, importantly, reared as the sister of Laban, knew that such a partnership was impossible. She understood that Jacob NEEDED BOTH blessings–to COMBINE spiritual strength with mastery over the physical world–in order to be the father of the Jewish nation.
Accordingly, she orchestrated the “theft” of the physical blessing in a context wherein Jacob would be introduced to his destiny–to be a person with kol Yaakov (the voice of Jacob) but also with yedei Eisav (the hands of Esau)."
(The "impossible partnership" concept is SO INTERESTING. Is it implying that you CANNOT "SPLIT UP" the authority OR blessings?? Like some sort of gnostic mindset, cutting earth off from heaven, body from spirit, even in such a "minor" sense as a divided "rule"? But such division is FATAL to our souls; we Christians know this! There is ONE LORD for BOTH!)
(Also I'm getting major Jesus vibes here with the "both/and" of the Incarnation itself)

❓❓❓❓"She thus wanted Jacob to undergo an apprenticeship with her brother, Laban, the master trickster, so that he would know how to combine these traits. He achieved mastery over the physical world, the Keli Yakar (17th century commentator), points out, when he surpasses Laban’s ability to beguile his adversaries. After this “education,” the fully developed Jacob is commanded by God to return to Canaan, whereupon he wrestles with Esau’s angel and is given a new name: Yisrael. This new name demonstrates his completed evolution, a name by which we, his descendants, are called: Benei Yisrael (the Children of Israel)."
(THIS IS SO INTRIGUING???)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️"Also, ever notice what Jacob was doing from the moment he was born? He was striving after the blessing of God. Esau had disdain for God's blessing in contrast. He traded it for a bowl of stew.
Jacob paid a price for his methods. His own father in law 'deceives the deceiver' for years after he runs away. Yet, Jacob's heart was always after God's blessing... He literally fought for the inheritance that Esau gave away."

"The issue is, He didn't bless him because he tricked his brother, he blessed him because that's what His plan already was. Esau was blessed; just not with the blessing of the birthright; which had a more important blessing: being the one, the spiritual leader through whose line the Messiah would come.
Esau didn't want it. He gave it up to Jacob from before that deception. Jacob suffered because of the deceit he did. Esau largely got the temporal blessings he was really into. When Jacob wrestled with God, he had to come to terms with the evil he did by trying to make God's plan go by his and his mother's scheming.
[And yet] God already calculated his folly before it all happened."

"...the answer reveals at least a part of the plan and character of God.
Firstly, it shows a pattern of God's choice that we see over and over again. God has a pattern of choosing the "second" or different choice than we would. God chose Abel's sacrifice not his brother Cain's. God chose Jacob not his older brother Esau. God chose Jesus the "second Adam". God chose gentiles to reveal his blessing to the nations after the Jews rejected him. God is in the habit of choosing the "second"...it just seems to be a pattern in the way God chooses.
Secondly, it shows God's character. God chooses the guilty ones in spite of the fact that they are guilty. The Hebrew term for this is his "Khesed". Over and over again, scripture shows us that he [actually] chooses those who break his commandments. He doesn't choose the ones who look the best, or are the most skilled (Esau); he chooses the ones who are generally lazy, do work beneath them, are thieves, and have no good reason to be chosen (Jacob). This shows us a part of who he is. He is a God who chooses us not based on anything good or bad that we do. This is a description of the kind of God that is described in the Bible. It is a part of his nature to choose the "second".
It’s like His way of telling us “I know you think you know what should or will happen, but really you don’t, so stop pretending you do”. Also his way of showing how his strength is made strong in the weakest and worst of people. This seems like good news to those of us who happen to be weak and awful, like a message that redemption is coming for us... He came to heal the sick, not the ones who think they are already good by themselves. I think that’s intentional. He knows the ones who think they're all good won’t come to him anyways, so he focused on those in the valley (which is everyone; some just are unaware of it)."

"God had a plan to bless people, even when they did not deserve it.
...much of the whole point of Genesis (and the OT in general) is that God blesses the unworthy to make something great out of what the world would consider trash. Adam sinned, Noah got drunk, Abraham has a whole list but let's go with his lie that Sarah was his sister so that he could could pimp out his wife, blanking on Isaac, Jacob was a cheat, Judah (the line of Christ) sold his brother into slavery and hired his daughter as a prostitute, Joseph was awesome and a hero - doesn't get a tribe named after him, Moses was a murderer, and Israel at large was like a lightning rod for pagan practices.
The whole point is that God is forming something from nothing (albeit metaphorically after the whole creation event). It is so God gets the glory in everything. No one can say they are great because of their own hand, but only because of God's.
But you are correct that it seems backward to what we would expect."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


⭐⭐⭐‼️ "Once again, both barrenness and God's intervention play a role in the birth of the next generation in the line of God's people. Rebekah remained barren for a time, unable to have children... We're not told how much time passed between Isaac's prayer and Rebekah's pregnancy, but we do learn that Isaac was 60 when his sons are eventually born. That means the couple remained childless for 20 years.
The important thing to note is that Isaac took action. Prayer is action. He prayed to the Lord for his wife. God responded to Isaac's prayer. God had promised that multitudes would come from Abraham, but each birth in the line of God's chosen people thus far seems to have required special intervention from God Himself to take place. God's people understood that their children were gifts from Him."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slight tangent on Sovereignty & Election & Mercy

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "In Romans 9, Paul is building an argument that there exists a difference in Israel: between those who are truly Israelites and will receive the promises of God, versus those who are merely born into the nation. He is pulling examples from Israel's history to make his case. His first example was that not all of Abraham's offspring were included in the line of promise, only Isaac. Now Paul points to Isaac's sons to show that, before they were even born, God picked one twin and not another to receive His covenant promises– only one through which His line of Promise to His chosen people would continue. Paul wants us to understand that God's choice was not based on behavior, good or bad, since the boys were still unborn... God made a choice about the two boys to serve His own purpose of election.
[In the same manner,] not every single one of Abraham's descendants was made part of the promise of God. There was still an element of God's sovereignty and choice in deciding whom to bless. Paul is emphasizing this point to show that a saving relationship with God is never as simple as merely being born from the right parents. Isaac's wife Rebekah conceived two children by one man, meaning that she was carrying twins. [But] Only ONE would (could!!) carry the promise that was given through Abraham... God's choice about which of Rebekah's twin boys would receive the covenant promises had nothing to do with their merits or their attributes. It was not about their works, since God declared His decision before they were born!! It was not about their parents, since they came from the same two people.
And, now, Paul quotes what God said to Rebekah before the twins were born: "The older will serve the younger." That means that God's choice to give the covenant promises to Jacob was also not about birth order (the firstborn had no advantage here). God simply chose to serve His Own purposes before ANY human factors came into play. It was entirely a matter of His omniscience and sovereignty."

⭐⭐‼️‼️❓ "God decides who will receive His promises and who will not [they are NEVER "merited" or "owed"]. His election is something subject only to God's Own Sovereignty [nothing and no one can "obligate Him" or "make Him" decide anything]. Paul will use this concept to explain not only that God has the right to choose whom to save [because ONLY HE saves, and it's NEVER deserved, ONLY GIVEN], but ALSO that He has the right and ability to save those who are NOT ethnically part of Israel: the Gentiles [while STILL honoring His Promise exclusivity= He simply brings the Gentiles INTO it THROUGH CHRIST, Who is the FULFILLMENT of the Promises anyway! So God is simultaneously just and merciful, and ALWAYS free]."

⭐⭐‼️"God said that He would show mercy and compassion on whomever He so chose. The right to decide who received benefits from God was a decision left to exactly one being: God Himself. Paul offers this quote to show that God retains the right to choose for Himself, based only on Himself, to whom He will give His favor. God is under no obligation, whatsoever, to rely on other criteria or some "higher" standard to make such a choice. Perhaps that's not a very convincing argument against the idea that God is "unfair" [by human ideas] in choosing one over another. However, this already eliminates the suggestion that God is being "unjust.""

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"Paul is making the case that God deciding who will receive His favor, or His mercy—and who will not—is not unjust. In the previous verse, Paul quoted God's words to Moses: that He would show mercy and compassion on whomever He chose to, or not, accordingly only to His own will. Another way of putting it might be that God retains the right to give His mercy to whomever He wants. He's not obliged to do anything for anyone, so God choosing some for mercy and not others cannot be unfair in the negative sense that word most often means. In fact, the most "fair" thing to do would be to withhold mercy from all people; mercy is a benevolent form of "unfair" treatment.
Now Paul makes it clear that receiving God's mercy, or not, has nothing to do with human will or work. God is not being unfair, in choosing only some for mercy. No person can ever earn His mercy, so nobody has more of a claim to deserve it than any other. God owes His mercy to absolutely, positively no one. By definition, "mercy" is something given to those who do not deserve it or have not earned it. If it's earned or deserved, it's not an issue of grace or mercy."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize for all the copy pasting today but I am determined to understand This as well as I can.
The only thing is I'm looking in the wrong places. I'm going to read as many Jewish articles as I can to get the most complete and honest picture. I probably won't be pasting them here unless something really strikes me because otherwise I'll have the entire articles on my blog by the end, as this post basically proves.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"While the Jewish nation is far from the first of nations, we are the nation that G-d has chosen to be closest to Him. The birthright signifies not order of birth, but a special relationship. The firstborn, whether human, animal, or even plant, is to be dedicated for service unto G-d, acknowledging His mastery over the world."

"The death of the Egyptian firstborn was more than the tragic necessity that would finally induce Pharaoh to let his slaves go. Their deaths taught the Egyptians the true meaning of being a firstborn. It is the firstborn who must set the moral example for all who follow."

"Ultimately, the Torah wants to downplay the special privileges of the firstborn. Throughout the Torah, it is the younger brother who outshines his older brother(s). One could even argue that one of the themes of sefer Breisheet is the insignificance of birth order. It is Moshe, not Aharon, who is the one who gives us the Torah. It is the Levites who replace the eldest as the spiritual leaders of the Jewish people. Ultimately, it is not the order of birth that matters, but realizing the responsibility that our birth, as G-d's "eldest", places upon us."

"The eldest son naturally became the priest in virtue of his priority of descent, provided no blemish or defect attached to him."

"The first-born son succeeded to the official authority possessed by his father. If the latter was a king, the former was regarded as his legitimate successor."

"In the patriarchal age [before the Law], it was in the power of the parent thus to convey it from the eldest to another child. [BUT] After the Law was given through Moses, the right of primogeniture could not be transferred from the first-born to a younger child at the father's option."

"A " double portion" of the paternal property was allotted by the Mosaic law, nor could the caprice of the father deprive him of it... [BUT] Reuben, through his unfilial conduct, was deprived of the birthright... [and] Esau's act, transferring his right to Jacob, was allowed valid."

"In Isa 14:30, the '"first-born of the poor" signifies the poorest of all; and in Job 18:13. the "first-born of death" means the most terrible of deaths."

"It is noteworthy that in our Lord's genealogy the line is frequently carried through a younger son."

"Yaakov's name hints at his future role in overcoming Eisav's schemes, as the heel is the part of the body that ultimately crushes the head of the serpent (a metaphor for evil)."

"Eisav accuses Yaakov of deceiving him twice:
• The Birthright (Bechorah): According to Rashi (Bereishit 25:34), Yaakov rightfully acquired the birthright when Eisav showed contempt for it by selling it for a meal. The Ramban (Bereishit 25:34) adds that Eisav willingly relinquished it, demonstrating his unworthiness.
• The Blessing (Berachah): Eisav claims Yaakov "stole" the blessing meant for him. However, the Sforno (Bereishit 27:36) explains that Yitzchak’s blessing was always intended for Yaakov, as Eisav was unfit for it due to his wickedness."

Q: Why was Esav so upset about losing the blessing?
A: Esav valued the material and spiritual benefits of the blessing, which included prosperity and leadership (Ramban on Genesis 27:36). The Talmud (Bava Batra 16b) also suggests that Esav recognized too late the importance of the blessings he had disregarded earlier.

Q: What lesson can we learn from Esav's complaint in this verse?
A: The verse teaches the consequences of neglecting spiritual opportunities. Esav dismissed his birthright earlier (Genesis 25:34), showing he prioritized temporary needs over eternal values. The Midrash (Tanchuma Toldot 8) warns that delaying or rejecting sacred responsibilities can lead to regret when it’s too late.



072825

Jul. 28th, 2025 08:50 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
Completely broken this morning
Blackout exhaustion
So much pain.
Lost, confused, weak, tired, hurting. Feel like a child, utterly helpless.

Tomorrow I have to go to two appointments. I'm already exhausted. But I cannot skip either.
At least I can drive to church tomorrow, that's God's mercy– I don't think I'd have the strength to walk the mile uphill with how I feel.
Plus, on driving days I get to receive the Precious Blood. I think I NEED that in my very soul right now.

I miss praying. I had such a solid schedule for prayer going and then the Friday abuse + weekend rush threw me off. All it takes is three days to rewire my brain, historically. That's why my selfabuse recovery schedule is always three days too.
But... I could barely think this morning. I had to repeat the Rosary decades three times. I could barely get through the bathroom wall prayers. I'm only now saying the Divine Office, now that I'm in Adoration.
It's also why I'm typing. I feel safe here with Jesus. I offer Him my reflections on the phone.
But... I think I just want to be with Him, for now. I need His Rest and quiet.

Someone put a new bouquet in the chapel. It has red flowers and violet chrysanthemums. I love how they smell. They're comforting. I'm not sure why yet, but its a memory I'd like to find.
In any case its better than the mums today. I don't think I could have handled flashbacks on top of fatigue. God is merciful.

Walking home & talking to Leon about "purpose" = he said for ALL of us it is "to know, love, and serve the LORD" (and each other for His sake), because our TRUE CATHEDRAL SYSTEM CENTER IS CHRIST = THIS FACT IS LIVED OUT IN EACH COLOR UNIQUELY.
Indigo = insight, but moreso mystery
He said Violet was definitely "suffering"
Laurie was pinged by this & joined in the discussion

Steadfastly said ALL the kitchen & bathroom prayers. Refused to skip because of fatigue = that only FUELS the sloth!
I feel REAL HOPE & peace now, knowing I WAS faithful in sticking to the prayer routine, despite great difficulty.
Prayer itself is my true consolation. It's my only source of real joy.

Added the last few Portraits of Saints cards to the wall
1111 when i finished!

Getting better at praying the Saint Bridget Passion without distraction & repeating perfectionism = I HAVE to VISUALIZE what I'm saying or it "doesn't make sense" and I dissociate; ESPECIALLY the Our Father & Hail Mary, because they're "automatic" and prone to comprehension degeneration

OCD hell continues





------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hosea 12 continues.

⭐"Jacob took Esau by the heel in the womb in order to obtain, if possible, the privileges of the first-born... and again, by his strength, prevailed in wrestling with God for a blessing... whereas his descendants disregarded God's promises, putting their confidence in idols and foreign alliances. Jacob conquered God, they were the slaves of idols..."
(The implication is that ALL of Jacob's striving was based on God's promises?? He was ALWAYS reaching out to grab the BLESSING! In contrast, national Israel had no faith in God TO bless them??? So they didn't bother trying to "take hold of" the promises because they didn't take them seriously? And yet they put "CONFIDENCE" in mute idols, and in human military might! What can an idol promise? Nothing. They only claim to have powers and control over what Israel wanted, and who tried to "earn" or "coerce" it out of the idols by their worship?? It was all egotistic. Likewise, making beneficial foreign alliances always involves self-honor. Israel used her "strength" to serve herself, by enslaving herself to the whims & wants of earthly powers & false gods. Jacob, however, used his power to go after God, even if he did rely on himself too much. Still, he never lost faith; he always knew & attested that the blessings he sought & received were from God alone, even if he did also utilize his human strength in the process– a flaw that was knocked out of him at the Jabbok.)

⭐"this strength [with which Jacob wrestled] was not of nature, But of grace, a fruit of the Divine love and election, strength from God... this strength received of God was well employed, in it he wrestled for and obtained the blessing...There was something of the heroic in him, even in the womb, a conqueror from his birth... In this action there was something divine, miraculous, and preternatural; it was not the effort of nature merely, but contrary to it, or at least above it; and not done by chance, but ordered by the providence of God, as a prediction and testification of his future greatness, and even of his posterity's, in times yet to come."


⭐❓❓"Spiritual Israel lays hold of the heel of Jesus, "the First-born of many brethren," being born again of the Holy Spirit. Having no right in themselves to the inheritance, they lay hold of the bruised heel, the humanity of Christ crucified, and let not go their hold of Him who is not, as Esau, a curse (Heb 12:16-17), but, by becoming a curse for us, Christ is a blessing TO us."
(WHAT'S THIS CURSE THING??? I have to take another tangent, forgive me.)

⭐⭐‼️❓❓ "As the promised Canaan had to be gained forcibly by Israel, so heaven must be forcibly gained by the faithful (Re 3:21; compare Lu 13:24). "Strive," literally, "as in the agony of a contest." So the Canaanitess (Mt 15:22)."
(THIS COMMENTARY IS HEAVY!!


⭐⭐‼️‼️"Jacob's strength lay in his conscious weakness, whence, when his thigh was put out of joint by God, he hung upon Him. To seek strength was his object; to grant it, was God's. Yet God's mode of procedure was strange. In human form He tries as it were to throw Jacob down. When simple wrestling was not enough, He does what seems to ensure Jacob's fall, dislocating his thigh joint, so that he could no longer stand. Yet it was then that Jacob prevailed. Thus God teaches us the irresistible might of conscious weakness. For when weak in ourselves, we are strong by His strength put in us ( 2Co 12:9, 10)."

THIS COMMENTARY REFERENCES THE FOLLOWING VERSES =

⭐⭐‼️‼️Job 23:6 = "Will he use his sovereign and absolute power to oppress me, as men do those whom they cannot fairly answer? No, but he would put strength in me — He would not use his power against me, but for me; by enabling me to plead my cause, and giving sentence according to that clemency which he uses toward his children."
"...to hear me and all my reasons meekly, and to judge favourably, and to help and deliver me..."
"Will he make use of his mere power to overwhelm me and confound me? Will he take advantage of omnipotence to triumph over me, instead of argument and justice? No: he will not do it. The discussion would be fair. He would hear what I have to say, and would decide according to truth. Though he is Almighty, yet he would not take advantage of that to prostrate and confound me." 
"So far from taking advantage of his mere "power" to crush him, and thus obtain an ascendency in the argument, God would rather "strengthen" him, that he might be able to make his case as strong as possible. He would rather aid him, though presenting his own cause in the controversy, than seek to weaken his arguments, or so to awe him by his dread majesty as to prevent his making the case as strong as it might be. This indicates remarkable confidence in God."


⭐⭐‼️‼️Isaiah 27:5 "let them take hold of my strength, and I will make peace for him, peace will I give him... let them come to me for protection. Let them make peace with me. Yes, let them make peace with me."
"...even the enemies of God, if repentant, may find in Him “their castle and deliverer.” To them, too, there is the gracious invitation to make peace... let the enemy "take hold of me" to become reconciled to me. The figure here is taken probably from the act of fleeing to take hold of the horns of the altar for refuge when one was pursued. God is willing to be reconciled to his enemies, but that peace must be obtained by seeking his protection; by submitting to him, and laying hold of HIS strength."
"Jesus is God's "strength," or "refuge" which sinners must repair to and take hold of, if they are to have "peace" with God."
⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ ""take hold of my strength", i.e. take hold of my arm, which is metonymically strength, and stay it from giving the blow, not by force, which is impossible, but by humble submission and earnest supplication. Or, strengthen himself, or be strong, (as this word properly signifies, and is elsewhere used,) by my strength; not by his own strength, which he will oppose to mine, but by MY strength, which he may, by humble and frequent prayers, not only restrain from doing him hurt, but effectually engage to assist him, and do him good. He seems to allude to that history of Jacob’s wrestling with the angel of Godwhich he could never have done but by a strength received from God."
(This whole "take hold of my ARM" contrast is a GAMECHANGER, especially for someone with a history of physical abuse. I'm used to "grabbing the arm to make it stop hurting me" bring the ONLY option to "have strength" when I was going to be punished... and that's exactly what God is getting at. I was GUILTY. "Getting strength by force" would ALWAYS fail because i couldn't "HAVE" their strength; furthermore, i was still guilty & deserving of the discipline! So God reveals the TRUE strength, for BOTH parties = humility and mercy! Through HONEST PRAYER, we melt God's heart and position ourselves TO receive mercy? We are no longer standing OPPOSED to Him, proud and resistant! Now we are HUMBLED and seeking His HELP. And God HIMSELF says He WILL make peace with even His "worst enemies," if they sincerely repent & seek reconciliation!
BUT the unspoken point that hit me the hardest was this = you have to "TAKE HOLD" of God's strength, which is His ARM. You can either grab it & wrangle with it in opposition, or you can grab it & hold it in pleading supplication. The contact is inevitable? but the manner of the encounter depends on our heart's disposition? How will you meet His touch? You "get what you give." Will you lay hold of Him as an enemy or a friend? Will you wrestle or will you fight?)

⭐⭐❤‼️And of COURSE 2 Cor 12:9-10=
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
“My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enoughalways available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.”
"My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." 
‼️"but His reply has been, "My grace suffices for you, for power matures in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I boast of my infirmities rather than complain of them-- in order that Christ's power may overshadow me."
"my favour is sufficient for thee: for my strength is shown to be perfect by thy weakness." 
"my power is manifested in thy weakness." 
"power is made perfect in infirmity"
"virtue is perfected in weakness"
"My power is made perfect through weakness"
“My grace suffices you, for My power is consummated in weakness.”
⭐"So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak [in human strength], then I am strong [truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength]."



⭐‼️"The true worship of God they should have preserved, since in the priesthood, part of the primogeniture, it was included both as privilege and duty..."
(This applies to us Christians too, especially with the full revelation of worship in Christ! But consider the weight of "TRUE" worship. That can ONLY be revealed BY GOD HIMSELF. All human ideas & methods of worship, however well intentioned, were, and are, "FALSE.")

⭐"...justice and equity they should have maintained as a flower of the crown and kingly authority included in the birth-right, and [thus] a double portion or share in God’s blessings was theirs too.
(Kingdom Princes AND "firstborn privilege"! Both of these are DIRECTLY THROUGH CHRIST. The "crown and authority" are firstborn rights, and this statement implies that justice and equity are their fruits?? But they received those virtues through the Covenant Law? Which MADE them into God's Family in truth? NO other nation COULD be truly just or equitable, because only Israel knew God's Law concerning it. Therefore, as His "firstborn among the nations," they HAD "kingly authority" to "RULE" their brethren in the sense of "maintaining justice & equity" in a misled & idolatrous world, for its own good.)

⭐‼️ "But all these blessings are forfeited by their apostacy, for which at once they should blush, repent, and humble themselves, and at last remember their primogeniture, and labour to recover to a temper worthy of this their original."
(First: The TERRIFYING TRUTH that WE AUTOMATICALLY "FORFEIT" EVEN PROMISED BLESSINGS WHEN WE APOSTASIZE, or in other words, when we "consciously reject" our faith by abandoning its doctrines & practices = because that chosen infidelity MOVES US OUT OF THE PROMISE'S APPLICABILITY!! God made the Promise to HIS PEOPLE, the FAITHFUL LINEAGE OF ABRAHAM. So if you intentionally renounce your commitment to Him, if you decide to stop obeying or following Him, then you are EXCLUDING YOURSELF FROM THAT PEOPLE, even if you are still "Israel" in blood– or "Christian" by baptismal certificate. Our deliberate breach of covenant is a GRAVE SIN, even FATAL... unless we REPENT WITH EXTREME ZEAL. We have to "LABOR" at it! The other steps are part of this effort = not only repentance, which is an "active turning away" from sinful ways, but also blushing– which is FEELING contrition & shame, making it real & tangible, not just a "head decision"– and humbling ourselves. That's the hardest one, perhaps, because it's active mortification. It's an all-out war on your own ego, except your weapon is surrender: a decisive submission to God, in meek reparation for your prior bullheadedness.)


⭐‼️❓❓"it is evident, from the context, the "man" was a divine Person, and no other than the Son of God; who, though not as yet incarnate, appeared in a human form, as a presage of his future incarnation... in reality, it was a real substance which the Son of God formed, animated, actuated, and assumed, for that time and purpose, and then laid it aside; which touched Jacob, and he touched that, laid hold on it, and held it fast, and strove with it, and had power over it, and over God in it; even over Him that is God over all, the true God and eternal life, the Lord Jesus Christ... "
(Is this doctrinally sound??? If so that's AMAZING.)

⭐"now Jacob had power over Him "by his strength"; but not by his natural strength; neither of his body, which could not have been equal to the strength of this human body assumed for the time, as it was used and managed by a divine Person, unless he had been extraordinarily assisted and strengthened (which would still have been God's strength in him, and not his own); nor of his mind and soul, not by any spiritual strength he had of himself."
(I didn't consider the spiritual part?? Jacob was absolutely "wrestling in prayer" but this commentary has me reeling because apparently even his PRAYING was NOT of his "own power"!! Which is a "duh" moment when I reflect on it; "we do not know how to pray as we ought," etc. What do idolaters pray for? Nothing that would prevail with God! And the proud do not pray at all! The unregenerate heart CANNOT pray properly, because true prayer is humble and faithful and submissive– yes, even when wrestling! "Let Thy Will, not Mine, be done!!" Was that not the most intense possible "wrestling" with the LORD? And yet Christ "prevailed" by surrendering!! He won, because He "lost"– because His real victory was in God's triumph! Christ's "weakness" WAS the very Strength of God!! Divine paradoxes; I love them. So as for Jacob, likewise, his humanity could not hold its own against the LORD, or even face Him to begin with. Faith is a theological virtue, a gift of sheer grace, totally undeserved and never bought nor earned nor snatched away. Faith was the biggest and best blessing, the fountain of all other blessings, which Jacob could never "take" for his own... but God already gave it. Without it, Jacob couldn't have prayed for any other blessing at all– because he wouldn't have trusted in the One Who Blessed!!)
(ALSO, by extension of the "naturally spiritual", he had no mental or emotional strength without God either. Take note of that. No fortitude, no perseverance, no grit, no stamina, no determination, no resolution, no honesty, no contrition, no humility, no repentance, no hope. ALL of THOSE came from grace, too.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️"But Jacob "had power" by what he had from this divine Person, with Whom he wrestled; Who PUT strength into him, and supported and increased the power and strength of faith in prayer; so that Jacob prevailed over God (by God's Own doing), and got the blessing, for which reason his name was called Israel..."
(The key is emphasis on the DOUBLE STRENGTH given?? Not only PHYSICAL, (which i actually had overlooked), but also SPIRITUAL! Christ is BOTH GOD & MAN after all; this too is a type. Jesus gives strength to our mortal bodies by grace & hope, as well as to our minds & hearts & souls. We are a united whole! So was Jacob! He wrestled with physical effort as well as moral– and THAT'S how we ALL have to live as true believers!! Our faith is NOT just "doctrine" and "data"; our prayers MUST be accompanied by WORKS!! And CHRIST gives us HIS STRENGTH to do BOTH. We CANNOT do EITHER without GRACE!!!)

⭐‼️"Jacob in the very womb seemed ambitious of the blessing, and when a grown man, he wrestled with the angel for a still higher blessing than before. But, as we are led to interpret the prophet’s thought, the Israelites, instead of justifying their name, and ‘waiting upon their God’, have denied the LORD, and sought for weak human help."
(Is this equating "waiting" with the "wrestling?"?? That's profound. It means that his active striving in prayer was STILL submitted to GOD'S TIMING. "I won't let go UNTIL You bless me"! He WAS waiting, NOT forcing, even IN the strain (of muscle AND faith!) he put forth "in the meantime"! Actually I don't think it would have been "waiting on God" if he HADN'T been so engaged, because the very effort INVOLVED PRAYER & ACTION, WITHOUT WHICH "FAITH IS DEAD"!! And you can't claim to be "waiting upon God" if you AREN'T WATCHING FOR HIS REPLY. And that is done in PRAYER! In truth, faithful waiting is NEVER PASSIVE!! To do that flips all too quickly into a careless attitude, which mutates into either despair or self-reliance! If you're not watching & praying, then you're either giving up hope & trust altogether OR you're starting to trust your own judgment of the situation!)

‼️‼️ "Some are of opinion that the prophet means to give an example by way of warning, and to mention a trait of Jacob's overreaching cunning, and likewise of his violence, and thereby show that Jacob had incurred guilt in a manner resembling that of the then present generation; that is to say, his conduct had been like to theirs in deceit, lying, and violence."
(This is a direct conviction to my past self.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Their ingratitude is showed in this, that they did not acknowledge that they had been anticipated, in the person of their father Jacob, by the gratuitous mercy of God. The first history is indeed referred to for this end, that the posterity of Jacob might understand that they had been elected by God before they were born. For Jacob did not, by choice or design, lay hold of the heel of his brother in his mother's womb; but it was an extraordinary thing. It was, then, God who guided the hand of the infant and by this sign testified his adoption to be gratuitous. In short, by saying that Jacob held the foot of his brother in his mother's womb, the same thing is intended as if God had reminded the Israelites that they did not excel other people by their own virtue or that of their parents, but that God of his own good pleasure had chosen them.


⭐⭐‼️ "The gist of the passage is to exhibit Jacob's earnestness in seeking the Divine blessing as an example to his posterity. Already in his mother's womb, before he saw the light of the world even in his condition of unconsciousness, he had laid hold of the heel of his elder brother Esau, in order to anticipate him as the firstborn, and thereby appropriate the Divine promises. The second clause describes how with zeal, by labor and effort, he had struggled for the position of pre-eminence, sorely struggling for the Divine blessing. In the maturity of his manhood he wrestled with God, or rather with the angel of the covenant, and prevailed so that his name was changed to Israel. This picture the prophet presents to Jacob's posterity for their imitation, with implied promise of like happy result."


⭐"His striving hard for the birthright, and his wrestling with God, in which he conquered by prayer and supplication, are types and pledges of salvation to the tribes of Israel which bear his name... [thus] they may see both the mercy of God towards Jacob, and his resolute firmness towards the Lord."

"Jacob's conduct is not held up before the people for a warning, as marked by cunning or deceit, but is set before them for their imitation, as an eager attempt to secure the birthright and the blessing connected with it."



------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hosea 12 etymology tangent

202. on
force, goods, might, strength, substance; wealth, maturity, power, strong men, vigor

⭐"it consistently conveys innate vigor, potency, or resources—whether physical, social, or economic. When applied to humanity it marks the pinnacle of capability; when attributed to God it underscores His unfailing might that undergirds creation and redemption. The contextual nuances—firstborn prominence, military or bodily force, prosperity, or moral stamina—unite around a single idea: that all true strength flows from the Lord and is accountable to Him."

⭐‼️""on" denotes the primal energy invested in a firstborn son who was expected to mirror paternal character and leadership. Deuteronomy 21:17 protects this divinely ordained order by requiring a father to give the firstborn “a double portion of all he has, for he is the firstfruits of his strength; the right of the firstborn belongs to him”. These passages establish strength as both endowment and obligation, foreshadowing the unique Son who would perfectly fulfill His Father’s purpose."

⭐‼️"In the Exodus... the Lord struck “the firstborn of Egypt, the firstfruits of their vigor.” The same term that once marked covenant privilege now defines Egypt’s loss, portraying salvation as a decisive reallocation of strength from oppressor to God’s covenant people. The narrative anticipates the ultimate substitution where Christ’s life would be given [as the true Firstborn AND true Paschal Lamb], that believers might inherit HIS resurrection power."
Jesus, the pre-eminent Firstborn (Colossians 1:15-18), embodies the full measure of On, yet yields it in sacrificial obedience (Philippians 2:6-8), offering believers His own resurrection life.

⭐"God the Creator is the Source [and true end?] of every creaturely ability... human potency, though impressive, is transient and prone to utter dissolution unless anchored in reverent fear of God = "want will “consume the strength” of the godless; "Their powerful legs become weak, and they stumble on schemes of their own doing.""


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "[We have] Prophetic Assurance of Divine Empowerment for the Weary. In Psalm 40, Isaiah magnifies "On" in cosmic and pastoral dimensions. The prophet calls the heavens to witness that not one star is missingbecause of His great power and mighty strength”. Immediately he applies that inexhaustible reservoir to human need: “God gives power to the faint and increases the strength of the weak”. The text bridges transcendence and immanence, promising that those who wait upon the Lord “will soar on wings like eagles”, a reality beautifully fulfilled in the Spirit’s enabling Presence."
(Oh this is gorgeous. It's "as above so below" in a deeply tender, yet stunningly heavy, way. The Almighty One Who creates and counts the stars is also our Good Shepherd, who creates and counts every one of us with the same power and attention, "carrying us in His arms" like lambs. But we humans are far greater than sheep, and even the stars, to God. He "GIVES"– active tense "promise" language; what God declares through His prophets about Himself is TRUE and WILL be proven true– that SAME "power and strength" that MADE the stars (for all His strength is One), TO US. And why? Because we need it. We need HIM, in a personal and unique way, that no star ever could. And the fulfillment of this need is even more amazing – since God's strength is HIS ALONE, He cannot just "give it to us" in a way that is separate from Himself, nor can we have any strength of our own apart from Him. So God meets us right at that point= He gives us His Holy Spirit, to dwell IN our hearts, making His strength real and immediate, not just a "force" or "law" like it is for the stars.
Another wonderful point= this strength, being Divine, is infinite and inexhaustible. It is the "well that never runs dry". But we can only receive it IN our thirst– IN our weakness and fatigue and exhaustion. We must be empty first, before we can be filled. What's more, though, is that the Psalm also says we must "WAIT." Even when in great want, we must TRUST and be patient. We cannot force God's timing even in our most dire needs. He knows exactly when to give it, and if we trust Him to, not trying to force Him, He certainly will. The Holy Spirit is a still small voice. You can't shout over Him. Also, eagles SOAR. There's no frantic flapping. It's a restful, dignified, trusting action, relying on the air around it– that's how we must cast ourselves into the Spirit’s power.)

"Seek the Lord when vigor wanes; His supply is unending."

"The same strength that upholds the stars assures believers of final preservation and victory, in eschatological hope."

⭐"God has the command of all creatures, and of all created things... Not one fails to fulfil his will. So let us not forget, that He is the God Who spake all the promises, and personally engaged to perform them."
(If all the heavens flawlessly operate by His Word, without fail, then surely His Promises to us will also prove true.)

⭐‼️‼️"THEREFORE, O Israel, Why do you say that "The LORD is not aware of what is happening to me; My God is not concerned with my vindication"? O Jacob, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles? How can you say God ignores your rights?"
"You people of Israel say, "God pays no attention to us! He doesn't care if we are treated unjustly." But how can you say that? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will never grow tired or weak or weary. His understanding is unfathomable, inscrutable, beyond all searching out. It is He who gives strength to the weary, and it is He who increases fortitude and strength in those who are failing."

⭐"God frequently appeals to the starry heavens in proof of his existence and perfections, and as the most sublime exhibition of his greatness and power... [but] it is proof of man's elevated nature that he can thus look upward, and trace the evidences of the power and wisdom of God in the heavens; that he can raise his eyes and thoughts above the earth, and fix his attention on the works of God in distant worlds; and, in the number, the order, the greatness, and the harmony of the heavenly bodies, trace the proofs of the infinite greatness and the wisdom of God... Thus the design of the passage is to convince them of the folly of idolatry, and of the power and majesty, of the true God."


⭐⭐⭐ Hosea’s Double Portrait: Strength Misused and Redeemed= Hosea 12:3 recalls Jacob who, “in the womb grasped his brother’s heel, and in his strength he struggled with God,” reflecting determined reliance on divine blessing. By contrast Hosea 12:8 exposes Israel’s boast, “How rich I have become! I made all this wealth myself! In all my earnings, no one can find any iniquity in me that I can be punished for!" Here "On" is twisted into self-righteous wealth, taking no notice of God or His Providence... "Ephraim congratulates himself on his riches, and with callous conscience maintains that they have been won quite honestly; or if he be not absolutely innocent, yet his few trifling lapses will not be reckoned a sin; so pure were they in their own eyes, so blinded and hardened in sin, and fearless of the divine displeasure... Ephraim argues, "My success in my labors proves that I am not a guilty sinner as the prophets assert." Thus sinners pervert God's long-suffering goodness into a justification of their impenitence." The prophet therefore calls the nation to return to the God of hosts, the only safe ground for true strength."

"when you had eaten and were satisfied, you became proud and forgot your God."


The New Testament affirms that God’s “power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). The principle of On continues as every gift, ministry, and resource is stewarded for the gospel. Invest your resources—physical health, finances, influence—for kingdom purposes.
As Israel’s firstborn privilege carried duty, so family heads, church elders, and civic leaders must exercise strength in humble service, mindful that “power belongs to God".

⭐Acknowledge God as the source of every capacity; thanksgiving preserves humility.
Teach coming generations that true greatness rests in covenant faithfulness, not self-exaltation.


⭐⭐ THERE ARE FREQUENT "PAIRS" WITH THIS WORD? True strength vs false strength, or a lack thereof.
Hosea 12:3 & 12:8 = Jacob's strength from God, Israel’s strength from themselves
Isaiah 40:26 & 28 = Man sees God's strength in making the stars, God gives His strength to help weak humanity
Psalm 78 & Psalm 105= Destruction of Egypt firstborn
Genesis 49 & Deuteronomy 21 = Reuben as Israel’s firstborn, and the law for all like him thereafter
Job 18 & 20 = Ungodly man's strength & vigor & wealth all stripped from him in consequence of his evil actions


‼️‼️ JOB 18 ECHOES THE SINS OF JACOB & ESAU???
"The confident stride of the wicked will be shortened. Their own schemes will be their downfall... A trap grabs them by the heel. A snare holds them tight... Terrors surround the wicked and trouble them at every step. Hunger depletes their strength, and calamity waits for them to stumble..."
THEN IN JOB 19=
"You think you are better than I am, and regard my troubles as proof of my guilt. Can't you see it is God Who has done this? He has set a trap to catch me..."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Followup tangent on 7613. seeth 

"elevation... elation or cheerfulness; exaltation in rank or character; to be accepted, dignity, excellency, highness, raise up self, rising."


"Human grandeur— political, social, or personal— is vulnerable to collapse unless anchored in God... all arrogant autonomy will meet divine judgment. Scripture warns against self-exaltation and commends humble obedience that God may “lift you up in due time”. Honor cannot be seized; it is only bestowed by God on righteousness. All true honor is solely God-granted... the Lord alone lifts up, diagnoses (proud "swelling"), cleanses [it], and enthrones."
()

"All Spiritual leadership— whether of a firstborn son, a king, or a nation— carries accountability. Covenant elevation must be matched by covenant fidelity. Shame and rejection come tragically swift when holiness is neglected."

"Contrast self-seeking elevation with God-given exaltation; call the proud and self-righteous to repent like Cain should have."
(

"[Like leprous scabs,] Sin is not merely private; it is observable, contagious, and community-corrupting. We have the moral duty as kingdom priests to confront sin and heal through the gospel. We can use Leviticus imagery to discuss hidden sin that must be brought to light for healing."
()

"The numinous weight of God’s Presence is a counterpoint to human pretension. Even the most powerful man or formidable creature is still entirely subordinate to God, merely a faint reflection of the Creator’s own overpowering & overwhelming majesty. 
Encountering the splendor of God instills both comfort and holy fear, motivating reverence, worship, and obedience... silencing pride and inspiring adoration."

"The Son of God embodies flawless dignity & exaltation.
In rejection and crucifixion, His face was not lifted up; yet in resurrection and ascension the Father “highly exalted Him”.
He cleanses the deeper “swelling” of sin.
He secures the believer’s final elevation, “when Christ, who is your life, appears"."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For the oppressed let the Lord be a stronghold... in times of distress.Those who know Your Name will trust You;  You will never forsake those who seek You."
(His Name is EXODUS 34:6-7.

"Look at our wounds and save us from the gates of death, so that we may always rejoice in your help and speak your praise in the gates of Zion."
(To save us, Jesus must first LOOK at our wounds? So we CAN'T HIDE THEM.
Also this testifies to His DESIRE to help, as well as His WILLINGNESS to = we cannot praise Him if we don't know His Help TO rejoice in. God's saving us GLORIFIES Him!
NOTABLY the word is "SAVE," not "HEAL," Because often God saves our soul THROUGH our woundedness!)


"...the period of honeymoon in the desert, when Israel was faithfully bonding with her divine spouse (‘There she will respond to me as she did when she was young’, Hosea 3.16-17; or ‘When Israel was a child I loved him and I called my son out of Egypt’, Hosea 11.1),"

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What is human mercy? Exactly this: to have care for the sufferings of the poor. What is divine mercy? Without doubt, to grant forgiveness of sins. Whatever human mercy gives away on the journey, divine mercy pays back when we arrive at last in our native land. For it is God who feels cold and hunger, in the person of the poor. As he himself has said: As much as you have done for the least of these, you have done it for me. What God deigns to give on heaven, he yearns to receive on earth.
What sort of people are we if we want to receive, when God offers, but when God asks, we refuse to give? For when a poor man hungers, it is Christ who suffers want, as he himself has said: I was hungry and you gave me no food. Do not despise the misery of the poor if you want a sure hope of forgiveness for your sins. Christ is hungry now, brethren, in all the poor. He consents to suffer hunger and thirst – and whatever he receives on earth he will give back in heaven.
I ask you, brethren: when you come to church, what do you want? what are you looking for? Is it anything other than mercy? Then give earthly mercy and you will receive the heavenly kind. The poor man asks of you, and you ask of God: the poor man for food, you for eternal life. Give to the beggar what you want to deserve from Christ..."



------‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

072725

Jul. 27th, 2025 07:36 pm
ieroaima: (Default)



STILL sick & retaining water. It's insane how ONE day of carbs WRECKS me.
Nevertheless, it's penance. I will humbly accept it as just consequences and offer it up.
I refuse to let despair and needless guilt (I confessed it! I'm forgiven!!!) rob me of this privileged opportunity to draw closer to my Crucified Redeemer, for the sake of those I love and pray for.

Rainy walk to & from Mass! Really beautiful

Our wifi went down??? Trusted in God to help, grappling with anxiety over possible "worst case scenarios"
WHY AREN'T YOU CONSOLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN THIS????

Sundays are always "feast days." Daringly hitting 2000k today.
Going to try 1600k weekdays for a while, see if that reduces the chronic pain. If our weight drops, though, we have to increase it again.
No matter how our distorted magical thinking fears gain, we cannot risk organ failure.

OCD hell again today. Is it the heat???
Touches are so traumatic.

I'm never, ever "satisfied" by food. I think I dissociate the whole time. Still, honestly I prefer this to "enjoying" it. I hate hedonism and gastronomy. I loathe the "mindful eating" regime. I really despise the fact that my body wants to eat, when my mind and heart do not. My soul only wants to eat God.
I get sick and my pain flares up every day after we eat. It also "wakes up" the greedy, slutty "Jessica" voices. I recognise them immediately, with their long hair and feminine bodies. They all look like we did in high school. It's terrifying. They are sheer malevolence and they hate God. It makes me want to start fasting again, but Father forbade it.
Still. We have to fight. Tomorrow we'll cut calories to 1500, maybe. If that keeps things quieter then thank God.
I'm so tired of always being at war with an internal devil.

But isn't warfare what we've always lived for?
Perhaps God is allowing this misery on purpose, to strengthen us in virtue.
If so, then Lord, give us Your strength to fight, or flee, or stand our ground. Help us to discern Your battle instructions in each moment.
And please, help us persevere until death, however near or far it is. We've been so tired for so long. Please, give us hope. Give us the joy we need to keep going. But keep us detaches from this world.
If we have any joy, let it only be in You.


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finishing Hosea 12.

⭐‼️"Was it not predicted of Jacob, before he was born, that he should become greater than his brother? Yet this was not fulfilled until more than 500 years afterward, nor completely until the time of David."
(I just want to emphasize the ego-killing big picture here. It's never "just for me." Its never "only about me." Life, real life, is so much more vast and extensive than my own individual experience and understanding of it. God's Plans are so much more grand & complex & inclusive than my pitifully myopic mind can fathom. When God makes Promises to an individual person, that Promise ALWAYS OUTLIVES THEM. "No man is an island," nor is he a singular event in history. Every human being is inevitably, intrinsically, inescapably, intimately connected to every other human being. Adam personifies this initial principle; Christ proves & perfects & purifies it. Therefore no one is exempt, nor can they be. God's Promises may first adhere exclusively to a certain lineage in Scripture, but in the end, they too are revealed as being ultimately universal in their scope, through the Incarnate "Amen" of His Son. The point is... don't lose hope. Don't ever feel forsaken or forgotten. If God promised something, and you don't even see a hint of it being realized in your lifetime... well, His timeline is much longer than yours. You're not the only human in the world. Your short span of existence is not the constraining context in which that Promise was bound to be fulfilled. Your story is not the voice of the narrator. You're not even the main character. Your end does not close the book; it may not even turn the page. Do you get the picture? It's profoundly humbling. God is not obligated to fulfill in their entirety even the promises he made to YOU in your own lifetime, because those Promises don't end with you, just as your life is not yours alone, but is inherently bound to all others on this earth. Abraham was promised land and descendants and blessing– and he "received' them IN TRUST, as it were; even if he died without the full realization of those gifts, God did give them truly enough. God "planted the seed", even if it would not become an honest tree for decades, as it were. Even more amazingly, though, is that Abraham didn't even "see" the seed at first– He only needed to hear the Promise that God WOULD plant the seed to believe that it would grow by His Hand, and that the tree "promised to him" was real, even if he would never stand in its shade or eat its fruit. It was still his, in a mysterious way, if only in hope, if only in legacy, if only in future glory. Abraham simply and profoundly had FAITH that God WOULD carry those promises out for his descendants– and that he WOULD have descendants– solely because God said so. That's the bottom line. Don't act like you "have to see every promise and prophecy fulfilled" in this day & age or it's "not true." Don't be so foolishly self-centered; don't be so blasphemously naive. The picture is so much bigger than you. Surrender to that vastness, because it's beautiful, and it's God's, and you're still part of it. Let Him work as He wills and when. If you love Him, then even if those Promises He gave you aren't fulfilled for another thousand years, you will still rejoice in faith, because all that really matters is that His Purpose WILL Prevail. Let THAT be your selfless and secure joy.)


⭐⭐‼️"These gifts were promised to Jacob out of the free mercy of God, antecedent to all potential merit. But Jacob, thus chosen "without deserving", showed forth the power of faith; "By his strength he had power with God." = "The strength by which he did this, was God's strength, as well as that strength by which God contended with him; yet it is well called his, as being given by God to him. "Yet he had power with God," God so ordering it, that the strength which was in Jacob, should put itself forth with greater force, than that in the assumed body whereby He so dealt with Jacob. God, as it were, bore the office of two persons, showing IN Jacob more strength than He put forth in the Angel. By virtue of that faith in Jacob, it is related that God "could" not prevail against him. God "could not" because He WOULD not overthrow Jacob’s faith and constancy. By the touch in the hollow of his thigh, God but added strength to Jacob's faith, showing him [with certainty] Who it was Who wrestled with him, and that He willed to bless him." For thereon Jacob said those words which have become a proverb of earnest supplication, "I will not let thee go, except thou bless me," and, "I have seen God, face to face, and my life is preserved" : "He was strengthened by the blessing of Him Whom he overcame."
(This is SO DEEP & RICH. Let me take it in points.
1. God's gifts and promises are always from His Own generosity and mercy. God operates on GRACE. His Justice cannot reward us because we are fallen & sinful; besides, what could ANY mortal ever possibly merit from Divinity? That's hubris, and it would only merit punishment! So we NEVER "deserve" God's gifts to us. This should fill us with immense humility and gratitude.
2. It should ALSO serve to fortify our FAITH, according to this, which I shamefully never considered before. After all, if we cannot "earn" or "deserve" anything from Him, then the ONLY "assurance" we have OF receiving anything IS FAITH. We cannot do anything more than TRUST HIM– not only His Words, but even morseo His CHARACTER. The absolute first step is BELIEVING that God IS GOOD & HONEST & TRUE & LOVING, and that we CAN depend on Him utterly. Without that basic FAITH in Who He IS, we won't have any faith in what He says.
3. Jacob's ONLY true strength WAS HIS FAITH!!! Why so? Because THAT was the ONLY "power" he COULD ever have with God All-Powerful– no physical strain, no mortal effort, no worldly force or exertion would ever prevail against the LORD. All strength and power comes from Him alone. So, how do we "get" any? We trust in HIM to "be strong FOR us"... or in his case, IN us. It's sheer humble dependence. That's staggering and so inspiring. BY the TRUST in God's power TO help him, Jacob was enabled BY God TO wrestle with Him in prayer to begin with. We cannot do ANYTHING good without grace. God ALWAYS makes the first move.
4. God gives His strength to us and it becomes ours, to have and to use. His strength is GRACE, and by it, we have FAITH– a purely theological virtue that is still "ours," adhering to our soul and person, yet it is just as truly God's alone– we would never have it were it not GIVEN; we cannot ever generate it on our own. So the very strength with which we prayerfully wrestle with God, is the same strength with which He meets and holds and moves with us in our ardent effort. He's not "fighting" us, but He's allowing the contest, and participating, although in a way no mortal can really express or tell. Nevertheless I can assure you, He is there, even to the point of being tangled up with me.
5. GOD IS, THEREFORE, EFFECTIVELY "WRESTLING AGAINST HIMSELF, THROUGH US"?? His OWN strength is what we're USING; He "gave us" the very muscles we strain against Him?? But it's NOT WARFARE; ONLY WRESTLING. GOD ISN'T AN ENEMY HERE. Honestly that is KEY. Jacob's ISN'T "IN BATTLE!" He isn't using any weapons! He's throwing all of himself against all of God and the two of them are contending one-on-one for a rightly won prize, not for violently shown pride!! GOD NEVER FIGHTS TO DEFEAT US. (IF YOU ARE "BATTLING" GOD, THEN IT'S YOUR SIN THAT HAS STARTED THE WAR!!)
6. GOD'S STRENGTH WAS GLORIFIED MORE PERFECTLY IN MORTAL JACOB'S FAITH, THAN IT WAS IN THE "ANGEL"'S MERE MIGHT. "My strength is MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS"!! God's Grace alone was indeed sufficient for Jacob to prevail; and in truth, nothing else could have been!!
7. JACOB WAS PRAYING/WRESTLING BY THE STRENGTH/GRACE OF FAITH THAT GOD HAD GIVEN HIM. God's TRUE victory, therefore, was in JACOB'S VICTORY, WON ONLY BY GOD'S STRENGTH IN HIM. What a stunning and beautiful paradox!
8. I love, and yet am stunned by, the statement that God crippled Jacob to PROVE HIS DIVINE IDENTITY to him (only God could do that), and therefore to ALSO STRENGTHEN JACOB'S FAITH (this IS really God he's wrestling)??? Jacob didn't take it as a "warning" or a "threat" to let go or give up??? I think that's where my frightened mind would have gone. But no, the commentary specifically adds that this disabling touch was a SIGNAL that GOD WAS WILLING TO BLESS HIM??? I'm genuinely struggling to grasp that fully. Holy Spirit help me out. Do our blessings come through the Cross, by design? Or am I not asking the right question? WHAT was the blessing Jacob SOUGHT? It was to "rightly atone for" the one he "stole," wasn't it?? He couldn't face Esau without God's blessing because he knew he had no reasonable ability to do so and survive on his own, because of the theft and betrayal of his youth. Was the crippling touch therefore a "PENANCE" GIVEN??? Was that humbling injury somehow NECESSARY FIRST before Jacob COULD RECEIVE his OWN blessing? Was Jacob's conscience somehow healed by this??? Is that why he didn't despair, but instead held tighter and demanded more insistently– because he felt just retribution in that touch, and after having already pledged the gifts of his stolen blessing TO Esau, sent across the River in contrite apology & restitution, this injury somehow finally put the deepest part of his long-guilty heart at ease??
I don't know for sure. I'll have to look into it more if at all possible, or at least pray about it. But for now, I just need to meditate on that statement = the injury strengthened his faith, because it was proof of God's real and engaged Presence with him. But most importantly, the injury proved that God wanted to bless him in response to his persistent prayers– OH!! I GET IT!!
THE INJURY PUSHED JACOB TO A NEW EXTREME OF FAITH & RELIANCE, WHEREIN HE COULD BE BLESSED, IF HE STILL STAUNCHLY TRUSTED IN GOD'S PROMISE TO HELP & PROTECT HIM DESPITE THIS CRIPPLING EVENT. The injury NULLIFIED ALL OTHER STRENGTHS BUT HIS FAITH IN GOD. Perhaps we can even apply this to prayer itself– when we face spiritual dryness and fatigue, when we are distracted and tired during prayer, when prayer itself is exhausting and burdensome and leaves us in frustrated tears, but we STILL PRAY because we KNOW that ONLY GOD CAN HELP US– AND we TRUST that He CAN and WILL, for without that trust we wouldn't persevere despite the pain at ALL– it is THEN that God blesses us! HE CRIPPLES US SO THAT WE CAN BE VICTORIOUS– BECAUSE IT'S HIS VICTORY THROUGH US, remember!! Our FAITH in Him is our ONLY strength! Our HUMILITY conquers the pride of the flesh and the devil, because the LORD is doing the conquering IN us, and WITH us, when we're not getting in the way by following our egos instead, by seeking our own "glory"! THAT'S when we'll LOSE! Ironically, it is when we might APPEAR to be losing, when we suffer and are persecuted, that we are actually on the royal road to ultimate victory– the sorrowful but Blessed Way of the CROSS. But even then, we can only carry it WITH CHRIST, with His strength in us by His Spirit of LOVE!! And we only get to that point THROUGH FAITH. That's always step one. We must lay everything down at the foot of the Cross and trust that God is True to save. Like Jacob, we have to be emptied out of all we have, brought to our very knees, before we can receive the salvation we need– a healing of our soul, through the suffering of our body– and return home at last, without fear of death.
But Jesus's meekness was proven by how He suffered. His patience and mercy and goodness were all severely provoked and yet He never faltered, because He trusted in His Loving Father to guide Him and save Him, no matter what happened. He didn't have to "fight"– His victory was IN HIS FAITH, too! Likewise, God gains even greater glory when our (grace-gifted!) virtues are TESTED and TRIED BY FIRE, because only He CAN give us the further graces we need TO persevere through them, even unto death! IT'S ALL GOD'S DOING.
9. God's Nature IS to bless those who come to Him in faith?? He "blesses those who overcome Him," but that only happens because He LETS them; rather, He WILLS it.

⭐THERE ARE TWO PRAYERS I SAY EVERY DAY THAT TIE DIRECTLY INTO THIS =

1. "O Lord, Goodness beyond our understanding,"
(Even His act of crippling Jacob was Good, for it served to humble him & therefore bring him closer to sanctification; thus it was all for God's Glory, He Who Is Goodness Itself. For us, when we suffer, even if we never fully understand why, the principle is probably the same= it is our share in the Cross, given to humble us & make us holier. God's Divine Goodness, which transcends our comprehension of "good & bad" because it utilizes both fully for His Loving Purposes, will forever be beyond our mortal understanding. But in any case, we can trust that, if God is the Will behind it, then it IS good... and Nothing escapes His Will.)
🔸️"...Who are acquainted with our misery through and through,"
(God knows the pain of a disjointed hip, just as keenly as He knows the misery, fear and desperation of the soul wrestling with Him in prayer. God knows all of this in Christ Jesus, through His Passion, and through the sufferings of His Body the Church. God is intimately acquainted with our every heartache and agony. He IS the very ground of our existence, the Breath in our lungs, the beat of our heart. His compassion and mercy are infinite because His capacity to suffer WITH us is infinite. So don't ever think He "doesn't realize" or "doesn't care" what you're struggling and suffering through. He does. He's right there IN it WITH you, because He WANTS to be. You never wrestle alone. And remember, He's there to give YOU victory, IN Him.)
🔸️"...and know that by our own power we cannot ascend to You,"
(God also knows we're utterly helpless without Him. No matter how hard we try, we cannot achieve anything truly virtuous on our own. We cannot have the faith, hope, or charity required for holiness without His free grace first bestowing them upon us. We cannot even be saved through Christ without His Father's grace FIRST moving preveniently in our souls, moving us TO repent and recognize Jesus as the LORD. Conviction of wrongdoing, the desire to be better, the wordless ache for higher things, the dissatisfaction with this world, even ALL OF THOSE are ONLY possible BY GRACE. And we HAVE the capacity to receive and act upon it, because were MADE FOR GRACE– our human nature is ONLY BROKEN, NOT RUINED. THE DEVIL DID NOT "WIN." God would never allow it. The Fall messed us up badly, but the damage was not irreparable. That's why Jesus came to embrace and heal us, uniting us to Himself, the new Adam, the True Man– we are not beyond hope. We CAN be restored to what we were meant to be– in fact, through Christ, we become something even greater. But it's ALL THROUGH GRACE, "from faith to faith," from beginning to end. None of it is by our "own power." All the strength we DO have is "on loan" from God, and He can take it back whenever He wishes. The point is, no one is getting to heaven on their own– not by strength, not by merit, not by intelligence, not by force, not by cunning. No human can EVER "ascend" to "divine" status on their own– that will only happen through our union with Christ, our "theosis," and only fulfilled when He returns. If anyone claims otherwise, they are a liar and heretic and they are not on God's side.)
🔸️"...we implore You: anticipate us with Your grace, and keep on increasing Your mercy in us, that we may faithfully do Your holy will, all through our life and at death's hour."
(As always, "God makes the first move". But it's more than that: He "anticipates" us. He "acts ahead" with utmost loving attention: "Your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him", and He has already perfectly prepared that gift specially for you, as well as the ideal circumstances for you to receive it. And what is His gift? GRACE. And what does that grace apparently do in us? It "increases His mercy." What does that mean? It means, God owes us nothing, we cannot merit anything, we are in need of everything, and therefore God alone can and WILL provide for everyone. ALL the graces He gives us are SHEER MERCY. And He lavishes it on us, because He loves us. And yet It has "nothing to do with us," ironically; it's just Who He Is = generous, compassionate, patient, just, kind, merciful. This is WHY it's unconditional; our "lack of worth" doesn't change His Heart. That, too, is mercy in us.
There's a divine paradox here, though, that I didn't address directly. We can't do anything without grace, BUT we "implore" God in faithful prayer to give us grace– a desire and request only possible BY some spark of grace already in us. It's a loop of love, a flowing from Him to us and back, a mutual circulation of Life through the sanctifying Blood of Christ. God gives Himself to us freely, totally, as the Husband He joyfully makes Himself to us, and all He "wants" in return is for us to live in that Love, and ultimately in that Beatific Relationship which is Life and Joy in perfect fullness forever, through giving ourselves freely and totally in return. Otherwise, we cannot receive Grace at all. Jesus Himself tragically said, "There are souls who thwart My efforts. Souls without love or devotion, souls full of egoism and selfishness, proud and arrogant souls full of deceit and hypocrisy, lukewarm souls who have just enough warmth to keep themselves alive: My Heart cannot bear this. All the graces that I pour out upon them flow off them as off the face of a rock. I cannot stand them because they are neither good nor bad." So it's another paradox. God never stops pouring out graces. We need grace in order to love. But if we refuse to love, we make ourselves impervious to grace. Free will is still absolutely legitimate and must be exercised. Original sin, once washed away by baptism, can no longer prevent us from receiving these higher gifts. Now, the only obstacle is our personal sin, and our hardness of heart, and our refusal to repent, et cetera... in short, the lukewarm soul is ruled by their self. With that mindset, grace is IMPOSSIBLE to receive, because you don't think you need it, and will not humble yourself TO accept it. So is there hope for such a one? Yes, just like with Jacob. God is still in control, and if it takes a disjointed hip to bring a lukewarm soul to repentance, then God will give it. Don't underestimate God's Love. He doesn't give up on anyone. And just because a gift is refused now, doesn't mean it will be forever. Man is not incorrigible. Like the gentle rain falling on rocks that makes canyons over patient centuries, God persists with invincible tenderness, and there is always the hope that the hard heart will crack just enough to finally let the light in.
"O Most Compassionate Jesus, exercise the omnipotence of Your mercy and draw them into the very ardor of Your love, and bestow upon them the gift of holy love, for nothing is beyond Your power."
This is a mystery, but it is true. Free will remains, but God may give an unexpected gift, so great and powerful that it changes us from the sheer loving and merciful generosity of it. People speak of "life-changing moments," of sudden conversions and revelations. They happen. God can do it. But we cannot force it, let alone even want or will it ourselves, when we are still unenlightened and cold. The "only hope" for such a soul, besides Divine prerogative, is intercessory prayer, offered by those who ARE open to God's grace, and BY such prayer, are participating in the "flow of charity" that grace both elicits & empowers, and that is necessary for grace to survive in the soul. It must remain living water, moving through us to others, streaming down from God above. And that is the ultimate fruit of all this mercy, of all this grace poured into us through our faithful prayers– we CAN do God's Holy Will. That's the end goal, the whole point. God's Will is His Law, and His Law is Love, and Love is shown to us in Christ, Whose Pierced Heart gushes graces upon all mankind. All we need to do is go to Him and drink from that Fountain. He has anticipated us; He has already called us to Him. Nothing is stopping us but unbelief. We cannot come to Him, or do His Will, without faith. But His grace is omnipotent. He wants to give it. He does offer it always. Are we open to it? Remember, God won't ever force Himself on us. Love must be free. But we aren't free, as long as we're imprisoned in our ego. Still, there is hope... God never gives up on us. His Mercy endures forever. God is Goodness beyond our understanding. If you can implore Him, even a little, do so. Unlock the door, crack it open. There's His goodness already in you, by the very breath of your life, by the very blood of your heart. Don't resist it. Don't be afraid. God's grace won't hurt you, even if it leaves you limping. That, too, is mercy.)


This next prayer, by Saint Jerome Emiliani, is super important and beautiful =

2. "I urge you to persevere in your love for Christ and your faithful observance of the law of Christ. Our goal is God, the Source of all good. As we say in our prayer, we are to place our trust in God and in no one else."
(We can only truly persevere through love– love for Christ, Who is our hope and our strength in all hardships. This love is what enables us to observe His Law, which IS love, mutually shared and celebrated between God and Mankind. Such an observance must be doubly faithful on our part= we must trust in Him Who gave it, and we must prove trustworthy in keeping it. Again, without love, this is impossible. Of course we need grace to do this; we cannot trust in ourselves. But we are not our own goal, even in obedience. The point is not our own merit or satisfaction. Our goal is God. Our beginning is also God. When we trust in Christ alone at the foot of the Cross, and receive our first hope of salvation, we begin this journey of loving perseverance, and He will sustain us. To suddenly try to do it ourselves is to betray Him, to deny the Cross its Power and Judgment. We cannot do real good without Him. When we surrender our trust to His grace, and make Him the goal of our lives... well, actually, we can't do that without love either. Love joyfully wants God as our goal, and chooses to pursue Him in everything. Love moves us to trust in Him freely & wholeheartedly. This trust enables us to persevere, with love as its vehicle. And when we love God, we will keep His Commandments. All of this is true happiness on earth. God is the Source of all Goodness, so when we live for Him, we can lack no good thing.)
🔸️"In His kindness, our Lord wished to strengthen your faith, for without it, as the evangelist points out, Christ could not have performed many of His miracles. He also wished to listen to your prayer, and so He ordained that you experience poverty, distress, abandonment, weariness and scorn."
(God is so kind & merciful that He again anticipates our truest need– He WANTS us to receive His miracles, to trust Him enough to let Him work the impossible in our lives when we cannot (which is always), so He acts to strengthen our faith. How so, though? Well, THAT'S the heavy hitter, especially since it ties directly in to the next desire of God = He WANTS to listen to our prayers. But without faith, our prayers are hollow words. So what does God do, to increase our faith? He ordains suffering for us. THAT'S HUGE.

🔸️"God alone knows the reasons for all this, yet we can recognize three causes. In the first place, our blessed Lord is telling you that He desires to include you among His beloved sons, provided that you remain steadfast in His ways, for this is the way He treats His friends and makes them holy."
(God's ways are VERY DIFFERENT and FAR BETTER than human ways, but they are also almost always "paradoxical", and can only be understood by the Spirit. Case in point = God specifically gives suffering to those He wishes to make His dear friends and beloved sons. Suffering is the MEANS to that end, because suffering MAKES THEM HOLY. It also means that if you ARE God's friend and child, you WILL suffer in this life BECAUSE of it– not as punishment, but as gift, even as privilege. )

🔸️"The second reason is that He is asking you to grow continually in your confidence in Him alone and not in others. For God, as I said before, does not work in those who refuse to place all their confidence and hope in Him alone. But He does impart the fullness of His love upon those who possess a deep faith and hope; for them He does great things. So if you have been endowed with faith and hope, He will do great things for you; He will raise up the lowly. In depriving you of myself and everyone else you have loved, He will offer you an opportunity to choose one of these alternatives; either you will forsake your faith and return to the ways of the world, or you will remain steadfast in your faith and pass the test."
(This hits so hard, but I can attest that it is true. It's terrible, but it's not cruel.

🔸️"Now there is a third reason. God wishes to test you like gold in the furnace. The dross is consumed by the fire, but the pure gold remains and its value increases. It is in this manner that God acts with His good servant, who puts his hope in Him and remains unshaken in times of distress. God raises him up and, in return for the things he has left out of love for God, He repays him a hundredfold in this life and with eternal life hereafter. If then you remain constant in faith in the face of trial, the Lord will give you peace and rest for a time in this world, and forever in the next."
(Again, however God has made my heart, I LOVE truths like this.
The grace of constancy is itself real "rest" in this life, honestly.

And then some Genesis 32 vibes from None at 3pm today =

"I was hard-pressed and was falling, but the Lord came to help me."
()
The Lord is my strength and my song; He is my saviour.
()
There are shouts of joy and victory in the tents of the just.
()
The Lord’s right hand has triumphed; His right hand raised me.
()
The Lord’s right hand has triumphed; I shall not die, I shall live and recount his deeds.
()
I was punished, I was punished by the Lord, but not doomed to die."
()


"Lord God, protector of those who hope in you,
()
"without whom nothing is strong, nothing holy,"
()
"Support us always with your love."
()
"Guide us so to use the good things of this world, that even now we may hold fast to what endures for ever."
()
"Through Christ our Lord."
()

And from Vespers =

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
()
"Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you, alleluia."
()


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Please be bold, because when we pray we usually have a need. The friend is God: he is a rich friend who has bread, he has what we need. As Jesus said: "In prayer be intrusive. Do not get tired ". But do not get tired of what? Of asking. “Ask and it will be given to you”. Prayer requires effort: it asks us for will, it asks for constancy, it asks us to be determined, without shame. Why? Because I'm knocking on my friend's door. God is a friend, and with a friend I can do this. A constant, intrusive prayer. Think of Saint Monica, for example, how many years she prayed like this, even with tears, for the conversion of her son. The Lord eventually opened the door." (Pope Francis, Santa Marta, 11 October 2018)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The sadness that is used by God brings a change of heart that leads to salvation, and there is no regret in it, but worldly sadness causes death.
Our sadness is used by God, and so we suffer no harm, but worldly sadness causes death."


"But to tell the truth, even if I distressed you by my letter, I do not regret it. I did regret it before, and I see that that letter did distress you, at least for a time; but I am happy now – not because I made you suffer, but because your suffering led to your repentance. Yours has been a kind of suffering that God approves, and so you have come to no kind of harm from us. To suffer in God’s way means changing for the better and leaves no regrets, but to suffer as the world knows suffering brings death. Just look at what suffering in God’s way has brought you: what keenness, what explanations, what indignation, what alarm! Yes, and what aching to see me, what concern for me, and what justice done! In every way you have shown yourselves blameless in this affair.
So then, though I wrote the letter to you, it was not written for the sake either of the offender or of the one offended; it was to make you realise, in the sight of God, your own concern for us. That is what we have found so encouraging."


"Again Paul turns to speak of love, softening the harshness of his rebuke. For after convicting and reproaching them for not loving him as he had loved them, breaking away from his love and attaching themselves to troublemakers, he again takes the edge off the reproach by saying: Open your hearts to us, that is, love us. He asks for a favour which will be no burden to them but will be more profitable to the giver than to the receiver. And he did not use the word “love” but said, more appealingly: Open your hearts to us.
    Who, he said, has cast us out of your minds, thrust us from your hearts? How is it that you feel constraint with us? For, since he has said earlier: You are restricted in your own affection, he now declares himself more openly and says: Open your heart to us, thus once more drawing them to him. For nothing so much wins love as the knowledge that one’s lover desires most of all to be himself loved.
    For I said before, he tells them, that you are in our hearts to die together or live together."

"...you have not only removed the cause for any grief but filled me with a richer joy... Then he shows the greatness of that joy by saying not only I rejoice exceedingly but also the words which follow: in all my tribulations. So great, he says, was the delight that you gave me that it was not even dimmed by so much tribulation, but overcame by its strength and keenness all those sorrows which had invaded my heart, and took away from me all awareness of them."

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Paul sees the sin of Adam not as something which happened long, long ago, but as an analysis of our own sin, for ‘Adam’ means ‘man’ or ‘humanity’. This sin, every sin, is a sin of disobedience to God. Christ is, in Pauline thought, the Second Adam. By his obedience to his Father on the Cross he wiped away, dissolved or overrode the sin of disobedience of the first Adam, the sin of humanity. The sacrifice of Christ on the Cross is the complete expression of obedience to the Father, which restores our loving relationship to the Father. This is forcefully expressed by saying that Christ nailed to the Cross the record of our debt to the Law. Circumcision was of no avail; it was only by being baptised into Christ’s death and raised in his resurrection that we could be restored.


Instead of ‘give us this day our daily bread’ Luke gives the insistent ‘give us each day’, which stresses the continuity of our dependence on God. After this prayer follows a series of parables and images which underline the importance of persistence in prayer and continual prayer after the model of Jesus himself. Elsewhere Luke will give us other parables: the Unjust Judge, again teaching perseverance in prayer, and the Pharisee and the Tax-Collector, teaching the importance of humility in prayer.


In him you have been circumcised, with a circumcision not performed by human hand, but by the complete stripping of your body of flesh. This is circumcision according to Christ. You have been buried with him, when you were baptised; and by baptism, too, you have been raised up with him through your belief in the power of God who raised him from the dead. You were dead, because you were sinners and had not been circumcised: he has brought you to life with him, he has forgiven us all our sins.
    He has overridden the Law, and cancelled every record of the debt that we had to pay; he has done away with it by nailing it to the cross; and so he got rid of the Sovereignties and the Powers, and paraded them in public, behind him in his triumphal procession.



072625

Jul. 26th, 2025 12:21 am
ieroaima: (Default)
 

HELL NIGHT.
Absolutely lost and thrown off this morning. Shattered.

In so much pain & fear from selfabuse
Prayed to my brother Dismas for help & consolation
IMMEDIATE contrite WEEPING.
Shocked me. Realized THAT'S what I truly needed= not trying to escape consequences, but to quietly BEAR them with a REPENTANT HEART, and HOPE IN GOD Who is Good no matter what. Humbled & Grateful for this.
Biggest consolation = the Holy Spirit TANGIBLE in me EVEN WHEN I DON'T FEEL GOOD. He is still there, ENABLING my sorrow for sin & desire to do good. Even if my emotions are miserable and fraught, I CAN go deep within & find that "peace beyond understanding" in Him.

I NEED church more than ever today
Especially the Eucharist and Confession = remember it's RECONCILIATION!!!

⭐⭐⭐ When we refuse to carry or even accept our Cross, we treat it as just dead wood, as just inert timber. BUT when we WILLINGLY embrace it WITH CHRIST– for union with HIS Sacrifice is the ONLY way OURS becomes redemptive– it is transformed into LIVING Wood again, made into a TREE OF LIFE for us, and by patiently & meekly enduring our sentence with LOVE and TRUST in our suffering Savior, those very pains WILL BEAR GOOD FRUIT, even totally unexpectedly!

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daily reading from 2 Corinthians convicting me HARD, as well as giving me the HOPEFUL JOY that I need.
I HAVE to finish the Genesis 32 study so I can return to Saint Paul.


⭐‼️‼️‼️"Jacob, having "become two camps," trusting in God and thus enriched by God, returned from Syria to the land promised to him by God; Israel, distrusting God and enriching herself, was to return out of the land which the Lord her God had given her, to Assyria, amid the loss of all things."
(Jacob had no "power" over, OR "say in," how many children he received, or how many flocks he received, because they were BOTH SPECIFICALLY DEMONSTRATED (through prayer & revelation) TO BE GOD'S SOVEREIGN GIFTS. It is ONLY because he TRUSTED God to provide ONLY what was necessary & needed according to HIS Holy Will, no more & no less– not demanding any unwarranted increase nor complaining of any unmet selfish expectations– that God "rewarded" his total surrender of circumstance WITH bounty. GOD IS GENEROUS WITH THE GRATEFUL, and you cannot be grateful if you're greedy, grasping, or grumbling!! Jacob was enriched far beyond his own ability & means, because he RECOGNIZED his own mortal helplessness and lack of wisdom, and so he surrendered the care of it all to the LORD, Who had after all PROMISED TO PROVIDE & PROTECT him, AND his family line, THROUGH that Covenant... and the terms on his side WERE simply & profoundly to HAVE FAITH– to TRUST UNCONDITIONALLY that God WOULD follow through with EVERYTHING, even if he didn't understand, or couldn't comprehend, etc. In sad contrast, his very descendant nation of Israel DIDN'T trust in the LORD to provide for her collective needs. Did she fear that God somehow lacked the wisdom or capacity TO sufficiently care for ALL the individual bodies and souls of her many corporate people? Was she "judging His Strength according to her own weakness"? Or did she doubt that He cared at all? Had the serpent tricked her too, whispering through the dumb idols? Had she failed to remember and reflect on the history of her ancestors, of the countless ways their Covenant God HAD consistently and reliably come through for them, even when it seemed impossible? Had she become so enamored and seduced and sedated by the world that her heart had become numb? Was God's Providential provision no longer pleasing to her poisoned palate? Had she become so gluttonous, so lustful, that God Himself no longer satisfied? It is probably all of these things. The bottom line is, she did not trust God. This was bitterly ironic because He was PROVEN TRUSTWORTHY, and yet, she had set her own "criteria" that she now used to "invalidate" His ACTUAL compassion. He cared for her, but not with enough ease. He fed her, but not what dainties she craved. He delivered her, but not quickly enough. He protected her, but she was often flirting with those very dangers. He loved her, but she loved herself. She was blind to the truth. How did this happen? It had been a small starts, that became a slippery slope straight into hell = all it took was one taste of the forbidden fruit. Just one doubt entertained, just one idol admired, just one sin committed and unrepented. Israel trusted in herself to "get what she wanted," but it was not what she needed, and no matter how many thrilling "lovers" she pursued and whose worldly benefits she delighted in, she was still a married woman, and her husband WAS coming to get her, and she WOULD lose everything she had "gained" so unrighteously. She couldn't take any of it with her– it was not meant to be hers to begin with. Now she WOULD learn to rely on her LORD, having no other choice, being stripped of her counterfeit "glory" and humbled utterly... but she would, in her very misery, realize that God's care for her WAS constant, and unconditional, and enough. She would be stunned by quiet yet unfailing proofs of His tenderness, even as He chastised and disciplined her unruliness. As her lusts were silenced by hardships, and her pride crushed by helplessness, then her spiritual appetites were awakened, and in humility– even through desperation– she would turn to her LORD to deliver her instead. And true to His Word, He would. Throughout her exile, that "school of chastisement" for the sake of saving her soul, she would slowly but surely come to desire only what He gave, and so be satisfied as she truly needed, and so find both enrichment and joy in learning true trusting submission. But it all began with losing everything BUT Him. She needed to be as empty-handed and helpless as dishonest Jacob had been upon wrongfully receiving another's blessing, in order to begin the process of honestly receiving her own rightful blessing from God.)


Tangent on 4264. machaneh =
"1. an encampment (of travellers or troops)
2. (hence) an army, whether literal (of soldiers) or figurative (of dancers, angels, cattle, locusts, stars;
3. or even the sacred courts)"
(Definition 2 is unexpectedly gorgeous and I want to meditate further on that)

⭐ "The term ranges from a temporary nomadic settlement to an organized military base"
(From Jacob as a fugitive, to Israel as the proto-Church Militant; from our exiled earthly bodies to the Kingdom & army of heaven)

⭐ "The word first occurs when Jacob meets the angels of God and names the site "Mahanaim"— “two camps”. This dual camp of heaven and earth sets the tone for ("machaneh"'s) later associations with divine Presence among His people."
(Jacob HIMSELF "becomes two camps" right before his name is changed = implying the new solidly spiritual purpose of his life, given by God and not his own efforts, whereas before he had still been very humanly motivated in his proud grasping. GOD makes him "heavenly AND earthly" at once now, with his two names, which only happened once Jacob wrestled with "Gods Presence among His people", a Presence that MADE Jacob INTO a "people," calling him beyond his self-reliance by making him dependent through weakness. This also hints at CHRIST, Who "has become two camps" in being simultaneously God and Man, typologically as the "ultimate Israel" in His Person & in ancestral fulfillment. God's "weakness" IS true Strength!)

⭐ "...it describes Israel’s encampments (in the Exodus) from Egypt to Canaan"
("Two camps" at the Jabbok, when Jacob becomes Israel = those "two camps" of God & man then proceed on together when Israel crosses the Red Sea = the "two camps" become armies when Joshua leads them across the Jordan = "two camps" of God & Man become perfected in Christ, when he crosses the river of death forever and brings us with him into the Promised Land)

⭐"the divinely mandated arrangement: “The Israelites are to camp (in a specific order and placement) around the Tent of Meeting at a distance from it"... this displayed order, identity, and theocentric community life" ... The structured camp challenges the modern church to maintain doctrinal clarity and disciplined living, keeping accountability to His commands."
(Israel's daily life and spiritual life both centered around God, but in each they were forbidden from drawing so close as to foment pride/ entitlement/ irreverence/ death! Even so, God WANTS to dwell with them, and not distantly– He specifically ORDERS Israel (and us) to dwell ALONGSIDE Him, but in a particular way, that corresponds to the Holy duties of service He gives them– implying that nearness to God is never idle, but requires active worship (an echo of heaven). Likewise, God protects and sanctifies US by the nearness and assignments He jointly mandates (their connection is so important), even as we thereby are given the privileged honor of "protecting" His Presence among us BY our obedient reverence?? We don't let anyone or anything harm the Church as Christ's Body, or the Temple of the Holy Spirit that is our own personal body. We DEFEND & UPHOLD the Truth of His Laws, demonstrated in the Doctrines & Dogmas of the Faith. We live holy, disciplined, "theocentric" lives as "pilgrims & sojourners" on this earth, keeping in "military formation" as we wage daily spiritual warfare as God's mobilized soldiers in obedience to the Spirit’s commands. Our entire identity is ordered around the fact that we are the "camp" of God, of "Israel"= His People, His Army, in exile and in battle, abandoning Egypt and conquering Canaan, enriched & empowered solely by God's limitless strength & grace, and wrestling with Him (pun intended) in powerful prayers all through the nights of our lives.)

⭐ "God’s leading Presence alone gives the camps their marching orders, and they follow Him in a precise sequence, divinely ordered and in tribal formation... Their rhythm of rest and advance, unconditionally following the Shekinah, emphasized obedience and unity under the visible guidance of the LORD... Just as Israel struck camp at God’s signal, the church must be always ready to move OR stop in obedience to His Laws and His Holy Spirit, AND prepared to march on with our particular duties, as His People, in carrying out the Great Commission."
(Israel NEVER decides on its own WHERE or WHEN she is to travel through the wilderness! She WATCHES GOD with vigilant attention, and when He finally moves– even in the middle of the night!– she IMMEDIATELY gets up, packs up, and follows Him. But she doesn't do THAT haphazardly either; her people were GIVEN "MARCHING ORDERS." That still applies to us as the Church!! We all must follow, but according to our assigned duties & gifts given, we follow in a SEQUENCE. We are NOT just a rushing clamor or crowd; our God is an ORDERLY and PURPOSEFUL God. There are "orders" of Church hierarchy that MUST be respected; there are certain duties & permissions & privileges that "other tribes" have NO right or authority to intrude upon or usurp! GOD has given you your side of the Tabernacle, and your responsibility for its care, and your place in line. You don't need to understand it. HE knows what He's doing, and why, so let that be enough. Your job is to simply trust Him and obey.
🔸️We also REST when GOD "rests"– when His Presence lingers for a time, we don't get impatient or restless, or try to "force progress," or push others to move. God dictates the speed & direction of "movement" in His Church. He will make His direction for us known in due time. There's just one key thing to remember = God's Presence is ALWAYS resting on the "Tabernacle of the Testimony" = on the COVENANT LAW, which is ultimately FULFILLED IN CHRIST, Who IS the very Presence of God!! So in a sense, we are ALWAYS "resting" in regard to the Law, as it is revealed fully in Christ Jesus = its position is fixed and perfected on the Cross and in His Eucharistic Tabernacle. Therefore ANY "movement forwards" or alleged "progress of change" in regards to those things is a "FALSE START." God has "SETTLED" with us there, not in a temporary camp but in a TEMPLE– our very hearts! So we must be very wary of those who try to push the "camp" of pilgrim Israel into travel or battle after the lead of a different "cloud", the only one that they can see– after the "baals" of the world, flesh, or devil. Don't let them budge you. "Stand still and the LORD will fight for you."
🔸️On a personal note– When God keeps me on an OT Bible Study "tangent" for days when I want to get back to the NT, I need to stop griping in my confusion and just sit down with him here! And when I feel stuck and stagnant in life, but God hasn't opened any more doors, I need to just sit and rest with Him right here, and wait– but actively, watching Him even through the night, ready to move. But it might take years. Don't sit idle! You still have your holy duties! You still need to pray & work & sacrifice & live! Just do all of it with the Tabernacle at the center, always listening for the Trumpet, always ready to leave everything behind and move on.
🔸️We follow and obey AS A UNIT. The Church, "spiritual Israel", is NOT just a "collection of individuals." We are a COMMUNITY; we are UNITED as a WHOLE. But we cannot be or do this by human effort– our connection is based and grounded and enabled ENTIRELY IN THE ONE LORD. Through the Sacraments, through our one Faith, through the Scriptures, and especially through the Holy Spirit, we are bound together. We are ONE BODY of the ONE CHRIST through Whom alone we were "saved from Egypt" to begin with; it is HIS Blood that links us all as a "Family"! So, we must therefore also ENSURE that we ARE OBEDIENT TO HIM AS ONE. Heresies, apostasies, schisms, all destroy this unity. So does any creeping tendency of idolatry or self-determination. Pride and distrust kill community & obedience faster than anything, and isolating ourselves from the Church puts us at severe risk– which THEN puts us at the further & often fatal risk of fraternizing with the enemy's camp!!!
🔸️We follow "VISIBLE GUIDANCE"= we follow the "SHEKINAH"= the "cloud of glory" and "pillar of fire" which is CHRIST, Who "descends and ascends upon" the "Tabernacle," IN THE EUCHARISTIC SACRIFICE. FURTHERMORE, HE IS ALSO "VISIBLE" IN HIS BODY, THE CHURCH, but as veiled in a "cloud" = God has given us the PAPACY and PRIESTHOOD, men through whom HE HIMSELF acts and operates by the Fire of His Spirit, ENABLING His Presence TO be perpetually manifest IN the Eucharist! Perhaps we can even argue that, when night falls on the "camp," that Fire becomes truly manifest in them, and always burning bright above the Tabernacle.
🔸️We also "FOLLOW" the Eucharist, and what it re-presents. When Christ is "lifted up" on His Cross, we follow Him with our own... when He is "lifted up" from death, we will follow Him then too. When Christ "comes down" to feed us with Himself, we follow Him and do the same for others... when He "comes down" in the Parousia, we will follow Him home. Everywhere, and in everything, we follow our Eucharistic Lord, "God With Us."
🔸️Lastly, we follow the HOLY SPIRIT, and like the wind He is ALWAYS MOVING. This ties into the "great commission" we all have from Christ– it is the Spirit Who directs us, and speaks through us, and moves hearts to listen & receive. Saint Paul attests to all of this. THIS is our "marching orders" on this earth, given by Jesus Himself, to last all through this wilderness, to be our daily battle against the world. The Tabernacle of our heart is where the Spirit dwells, and we must constantly be listening to Him in that holy inner silence, and watching where He leads us in the Church, the "Israel of God" in which He is corporately Present. The Holy Spirit ALSO gives us His Gifts & Fruits to serve the Church, and to bring others into it. In that sense we must "find our tribe" and walk in step with them, working together in the service of the LORD.)


⭐⭐‼️ "The camp’s sanctity was paramount because God dwelt there... purity & holiness regulations & measures portrayed the moral and ceremonial separation necessary for divine fellowship... Purity within the modern believing community remains essential, mirrored in New Testament exhortations to church discipline."
(REMEMBER, purity = UNMIXED.

⭐ "OT holiness imagery points forward to the redemptive work of Christ Crucified, accomplished apart from earthly sanctuary ("outside the camp"), inviting believers to bear His reproach while awaiting the “city that is to come.”"

⭐"Although the Tabernacle stood centrally, the Tent of Meeting for Moses’ personal communion was pitched “outside the camp". The dichotomy underscored intimacy yet distance, drawing a line between ordinary life and revelatory encounter UNTIL the Tabernacle was fully operational."

⭐""Machaneh" often functions as a military term... tying national destiny to the security or collapse of encampments."


⭐"The Psalms spiritualize "machaneh" into a promise of Presence & protection... portraying God as the ultimate sentry of His people... merging the camp motif with permanence and peace. Our Confidence arises from the LORD’s encamping angelic host, fueling prayer and courage amid opposition.



------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Father, accept us as a sacrifice of praise, so that we may go through life unburdened by sin, walking in the way of salvation, and always giving thanks to you.

Father, because Jesus, your servant, became obedient even unto death, his sacrifice was greater than all holocausts of old. Accept the sacrifice of praise we offer you through him, and may we show the effects of it in our lives by striving to do your will until our whole life becomes adoration in spirit and truth.

072525

Jul. 25th, 2025 12:20 am
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Only 10m Adoration because of therapy at 9
Still, we needed that time with Him. Still got right up close to the glass at the end. We feel most at home there.

Therapy = Talked about boundaries being all or nothing, toddler-like addiction to saying no, struggle with performative self care, fun as a curse word, etc.

Really rough reaction to screentime
Vidcall messes me up just as badly as a phone call

Mom text about trauma
Dragging me back into the last identity?
MELTDOWN of griefrage on bike

OCD hell, no surprise
Trauma touch feelings won't go away
Angry at mom for bringing it up, but remember "our battle is not against flesh and blood"; she just wants to help, she doesn't realize it disturbs us.

DVM thought =  Nothing but the sheer love shown in the crucifixion could ever have moved us TO the repentance and contrition NECESSARY to be saved! CHRIST, AS LOVE, ENABLED & ALLOWED US TO LOVE = WITHOUT LOVE WE ARE DEAD IN SIN


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still relevance in Genesis 32, but today we take a Hosea 12 tangent to conclude.

⭐ "God sees the sin of His Own people, and will reckon with them for it. They are put in mind of what Jacob did, and what God did for Him. When Jacob’s faith upon the Divine Promise prevailed above his fears, then by His strength he had power with God. ...God's people, who have betrayed and gone away from Him by their sin, must return through humbled repentance and sincere faith, as Jacob did, decidedly turning to the Lord as THEIR God (the particular & exclusive Covenant relationship, the recognition of mutual giving & belonging it includes, and the unique authority God therefore has over them are KEY POINTS IN THE RETURNING!!).
⭐‼️...Let us wrestle with God for promised blessings, determined not to give up until we prevail (for the promise is SURE), and let us seek Him in His ordinances."
(I'm interested in that addendum. Is that supposed to be PART of the wrestling? That actually makes a LOT of sense– how can we wrestle Him if we don't know where to find Him? If we are "far away from Him" by sin, then we cannot "get close" by simple logic. Remember, Jacob at the river was ALREADY changed inside; He was in the very ACT of "coming back to God," literally and spiritually! If he hadn't been, he never would have SURVIVED a close encounter with the LORD, even in His condescending disguise. God's Presence BURNS sin. A sinner cannot "wrestle" God because 1. They're distanced from Him by choice, 2. God's mere touch would incinerate them, 3. Sinful hearts cannot pray. So what's step one in changing this? "SEEK Him in His ordinances"; in other words, by following His Laws, you will discover Him already there, for His Law manifests His character and gives His grace to the humbly obedient. Furthermore, for a hardened sinner, simply trying to keep the Law of Love IS a wrestling match, in its own right. And that striving, if honest, WILL inevitably move one to prayer.)
(A reminder to myself = you need to KNOW the Promises BEFORE you can wrestle with God for them!!)

⭐‼️ "Let them remember, not only what a mighty prince Jacob was with God, but what a servant he was to Laban... Though Israel took great pride in their great name, they needed to remember that their namesake progenitor was the same Jacob who was a fugitive for his sins, and who served Laban for fourteen years as just deserts, but he never forgot the LORD Who preserved him when fleeing from Esau, and would deliver him from oppression by Laban. That same God, Israel’s Covenant God, delivered and preserved the namesake nation from Egypt, which was a far more powerful foe and oppressor than those their patriarch faced. God also loaded Israel with His favors, both in spoils and in miracle provisions– far more than even Jacob enjoyed. And yet, Israel remained stubbornly unwilling to return and submit to God, instead trusting & boasting in her own cleverness and unjust gain– she was acting like Jacob the supplanter, not like Israel the prince!"
(Refusing to acknowledge Jacob's faults meant they didn't have to admit their own. But it was a caricature of the truth, and mocked the gravity of his grace-given greatness. To honor Jacob's princely promotion at Peniel without admitting the plunderer's path that preceded it, only diluted and disdained the power and mercy of God in the big picture. It blinded them to their own tumultuous journey, to their own inherent moral weakness and helplessness, and to the unfailing, ever-present, undeserved and overflowing Providence of God.)
(God purposefully put Jacob where he was, and God alone brought him out in due season. Jacob's hands were given to brazen subterfuge, and so God justly delivered him into duplicitous hands. Israel was no exception to divinely poetic justice. What they sowed they would reap.)
(Despite his unhappy fortune, Jacob recognized it AS fair chastisement, and bore it with patient trust in the LORD. God responded in kind by mercifully restoring his fortunes. Israel does not remember this apparently– or they are unwilling to yield to the possibility of loss, to surrender all outcomes to God, even if it meant servitude and poverty. They want to control things, to "guarantee" their own progress on their own terms... and in their current comfortable prosperity, they are fooled to think that they can.)

⭐‼️ "This point of servitude is mentioned to show the meanness of Jacob the ancestor of the Israelites, from whom they had their original and name; he was a fugitive in the land of Syria; there he was a Syrian ready to perish, a very poor man, obliged to serve and keep sheep for a wife, having no dowry to give; and this is observed here to bring down the pride of Israel, who boasted of their descent, which is weak and foolish for any to do; and to show the goodness of God to Jacob, AND to them, in raising him and them from so low an estate and condition to such eminency and greatness as they were; and to upbraid their ingratitude to the God of their fathers, and of their mercies, whom they had revolted from, and turned to idols."
(Idolatry isn't just ingratitude, it's a "revolt against mercy." God alone can raise us wretched sinners out of our misery, and bless us, so we can become better. God alone delivers us from danger. Idols are worthless and empty; they cannot and do not care about mankind. To serve them is to serve one's own desires & whims & priorities. But this is a prison and a dead end. Only the LORD'S plans will prevail. But He is Good, and He always cares for us. He pours out compassion on us daily. We only breathe because He wills our existence in His Love. How insane and horrible the ingratitude of idolatry is when we realize this fact!)
(Jacob was only in such a lowly position because he had greatly sinned in his dishonest treachery and distrust of God. But that very God kept him alive and directed every step of his path still, and always planning his future to be good, according to His Promises. So yes, as a poor homeless fugitive servant who only got to that point by PRIDE, Jacob was in no way someone to take pride IN! The ONLY One Israel should "boast about their relation to" was THE GOD OF JACOB. Their blood descent would be of no merit, had it not been connected to the Covenant. They, too, would have NO power or honor or future unless God mercifully granted it to them. ALL good things in life come from HIS HAND, never from mere human "wisdom" or "strength"... and ESPECIALLY not through trickery, lying, and alliances with pagan nations, which is what they WERE doing.)

‼️ "If you boast of your riches and nobility, you seem to reproach your father, who was a poor fugitive and servant."
(This hits rather hard. The riches & nobility were gifts of God, yes, but as such they were unearned. GOD made them a great nation, just as He made Jacob great. But to BOAST implies a sense of deserving, of ownership by effort, and always of pride. To take pride in such things really DOES, by necessary extension, disdain poverty and humility. That not only indeed casts reproach on the Patriarch, but it also hardens their hearts against the downtrodden. Likewise, it prevents them from ever seeing such a lowly state as blessed or desirable, if it be the LORD’S Will– as it indeed mysteriously was for Jacob! AND it is the way CHRIST chose to live! Riches and nobility can be lost in an instant, by the LORD'S Hand. Then their boasting will become a great shame and humiliation. Rather, they should simply thank God for it as a Gift, which is kept at His disposal, while simultaneously acknowledging His loving care for, and the human worth of, those who do not have such apparent wealth & honor. To look at their ancestor in his wretched state, and see how God still cared for him, long before he was materially blessed, would SHIFT their sense of pride to GOD Who alone is worthy of praise.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Jacob chose poverty and servitude rather than marry an idolatress of Canaan. He knew not from where he should have "bread to eat, or raiment to put on", except from God's bounty and providence. "With his staff alone he passed over the Jordan"... but all this he rather chose than to betray his God."
(I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS!! Bro we NEED to reread the OT before we comment on these things. We're missing the essential context.)
(I just read Genesis 27-31 and Jacob ONLY "chose" poverty because his MOTHER told him to flee Esau, and at her suggestion, his FATHER told him not to marry a Canaanite! So Jacob entered into poverty and servitude in obedience to his parents, as a direct result of his AND his mother's trickery of Isaac and Esau! It wasn't as "noble" a decision at the outset as the commentary makes it sound, BUT there is still a real spark of integrity in it = Jacob still obeyed them, and He still trusted God to provide for him. He constantly credits God for his fortune and hope. He does not lose faith, despite all that happens to him. And THAT is noteworthy. So it can absolutely be said, in THAT context, that Jacob himself DID "choose" to suffer those circumstances, even though they were means of chastisement, because his faith was such that he would NOT have acted idolatrously in any case, had he BEEN given the option to.)
(AN IMPORTANT REALIZATION = ESAU DID MARRY IDOLATROUS WOMEN!! So he was "going against God's true plan for marriage" in TWO WAYS. Yes, he was wrongfully cheated out of his blessing, but God still permitted it– what would have happened, if that blessing of fruitfulness went to a spiritually illicit union??)
(ALSO!! I didn't realize how LONG A TRIP AWAY it was for Jacob TO get to Laban, which was APPARENTLY the ONLY OPTION for "keeping the marital bloodline WITHIN THE FAMILY" and consequently "IN THE FAITH!!! Isaac's family had FLED TO CANAAN due to famine and therefore all their relatives were still back in Syria?? But ESAU APPARENTLY DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THE (admittedly significant and difficult) EFFORT TO RETURN THERE FOR A WIFE. Instead, despising the integrity of family and faith, he "took the easy option" and just married the "local heathen girls." HE WAS ALREADY DESPISING HIS BIRTHRIGHT!!!!)


‼️‼️ “So opposite to yours was the conduct of your father Jacob, that he fled into Syria to avoid an alliance with any of the idolatrous families of Canaan; and, in firm reliance on God’s promises, submitted to the greatest hardships.”
(Point one = it is better to outright flee from idolatry, rather than risk making an alliance in your weakness. This means, in modern day, to not "hang around" people or places, online or offline, that are idolatrous– because yes, the world absolutely still operates that way, even if it increasingly claims atheism. Anything that denies the reality of God, or that mocks the very idea of God, or promotes itself above any religion of God, or that leads one away from the laws of God, or that makes promises that only God could accomplish,  etc. IS IDOLATRY as far as the Only True God is concerned. In all such cases, we are "worshipping" ourselves– we are putting our own pride and power at the top of our hierarchy, making our egos the "Lord" of our lives. And, ultimately, knowing the truth of the spiritual realms and of moral reality, worshipping anything but the LORD is actually worshipping Satan, who did the exact same thing. So don't even risk getting infected; get out of there, no excuses. Be holy– stay set apart! The world WILL try to lure you in and "be friends," but don't be fooled by their sickly sweet talk. Don't fall for their hollow offers of treasure and security and pleasure. If God isn't at the heart of it, it's just death in disguise. "I would rather be a homeless vagabond sleeping on the doorstep of my LORD'S Temple, than to consider myself 'at home' lounging comfortably in the mansions of the godless!" Even if you have to "run all the way (HOME) to Syria" to get safely enough away from the "idolatresses," it's a far better fate than ending up "married to the daughters of the enemy"!! Whatever pretty temptation is trying to woo you away from your rightful Husband, don't make small talk, don't stand around, don't debate, don't hesitate– RUN AWAY and STAY AWAY!)
(Point two = God's Promises are PERMANENT AND TRUE AND SURE. God is Lord of All, and therefore no circumstances in the universe can shake His Word. If God SAID He will do it, then God CAN do it, God WANTS to do it, and God WILL do it. God HIMSELF is the surety of His Word. You literally cannot have a more secure and certain confidence than that. So, when Jacob– for obedience's sake, to his credit– had to become a fugitive with no provisions or protection, he could courageously protest those "no's" with the faithful assurance: "none on earth, but all in God!" He knew that, regardless of apparent circumstances, and independent of his own ideas and plans and efforts, God's promises to his family line– and soon, to him personally– were fixed outcomes. One way or another, they WOULD be fulfilled, even if he couldn't comprehend or imagine or even see how. God was trustworthy; God was faithful; God loves to work miracles in the face of the "impossible." And therefore, even if the road ahead is objectively full of pain and suffering and hardship and loss, if God has promised to see us through it, or even only that there is something after it, then we can and must endure every arduous second of the journey, even with joyful hope in our hearts, because God cannot let us down, and He loves us.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Jacob's voluntary poverty, bearing even unjust losses, and "repaying the things which he never took" (all referring to his treatment by Laban, for the sake of obtaining a good and believing wife), reproved proud Israel's dishonest financial traffic (in adulterous double-dealing with pagan nations); his trustfulness in God reproved their mistrust (he actually and even verbally put all his hopes for success in God's will, claiming no effective power of his own; whereas the nation Israel was trying to forcibly orchestrate their own fate and fortune, unwilling to yield to whatever God's plan was for them, come what may); his devotedness to God in a strange land reproved their alienation from God, and their devotion to a strange land's idols. (Jacob refused the infidelities of both self-reliance and pagan marriage; Israel succumbed entirely to both).
‼️‼️‼️‼️And as the conduct was opposite, so was the result. Ill-gotten riches end in poverty; stable wealth is never gained by the cupidity of man, but only by the good pleasure of God.
(THIS ALSO APPLIES TO "SPIRITUAL RICHES" such as honor, glory, inspiration, knowledge, talent, beauty, strength, etc.?? Not just "tangible" power, fame, status, wealth, possessions, etc.!! "Ill" means "objectionable, offensive, morally evil, pernicious," etc. So to "get" something in such a way– by theft, robbery, deception, manipulation, cheating, bribing, threatening, etc. OR by a means or manner that causes scandal, injury, loss, grief, offense, betrayal, etc. to another– is to have it "ill-gotten," for acting from the sickness of sin is what obtained it, and that illegally, because it is UNLAWFUL in the sight of God (the Giver of ALL, including the Law) and WILL be met with restorative vengeance by His Righteous Hand. And if you try to get those "spiritual goods" by your OWN "power" and "intelligence" etc., as if the power and authority TO do so was in YOUR hands and NOT GOD'S, then you WILL and MUST lose them ALL, because they WERE NOT YOURS TO TAKE.)
("Cupidity" is the "eager desire to possess something," specifically through "passionate desire, lust; ambition." THAT'S THE PRIDE OF SIN IN A NUTSHELL.)


The verse preceding this one =
‼️‼️‼️‼️ "Is there "iniquity" in "Gilead?" Alas, there was nothing else. "Surely they are vanity," or, strictly, "they have become merely vanity." As he said before, "they become abominations like their love." "For such as men make their idols, or conceive their God to be, such they become themselves. As then he who worships God with a pure heart, is made like unto God, so they who worship stocks and stones, or who make passions and lusts their idols, lose the mind of men and become 'like the beasts which perish.'" 



072425

Jul. 24th, 2025 09:04 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Nightmares all night

TONS of LotH stuff so its in a separate document

Adoration meditation on Glorify = SLAVE VS CHILD, and the surprising SIMILARITIES between both; key difference is ADOPTION & LOVE

Saint Ann possible schedule panic.
Still so controlling.
Need to surrender more. Trust God more. I'm still too afraid of inconvenience and "disorder." OCD vice

Honestly WHAT am I so afraid of?? I pack my schedule down to the SECOND. I have EVERYTHING "organized' to a tight fit, there's no wiggle room, it's all exact and it keeps me constantly busy, nonstop prayer and work, no idle time. And so when it gets interrupted or suddenly changed I PANIC and freak out and cry and get angry and SO SCARED AND LOST.
WHAT ARE THE REAL ROOTS OF THIS???
We NEED to sit and think/ talk/ feel this through AS A SYSTEM!!!

Clicktopray has ESSENTIAL MEDITATIONS that we HAVE to journal about

Sudden headspace vision in Adoration = Lynne and Anxi sitting at a bonfire, at night? Reflecting on the "darker side of Orange," on what its depths and sorrows would be. Autumn especially is key; Orange holds the "Halloween" vibes.
OH!!! This was TRIGGERED because I smelled the MUMS at the chapel bouquet and I got FLASHBACKS to county fairs which terrified me. BUT SUDDENLY Lynne associated the smell with orange mums in a GRAVEYARD for All Souls Day and THAT FELT SAFE. And it was surprising, for HER to have this NOTABLY POSITIVE CONNECTION with DEATH. But Autumn in general is. So we need to explore those depths.

Lynne also wondering on this topic = Orange being almost a "regression" COPING MECHANISM in contrast to her original "female adult forced ideal" role, which was apparently CERISE?? or something in the Red regency. But Orange is SO CHILDLIKE for us; it's currently defined as PURE JOY but it's also NEVER GROWING UP. So for LYNNE to take on THAT color, shows a TRAUMA KICKBACK from her original role, once Q showed up, and she could no longer hold that position without terror and danger?? It was NO LONGER SAFE OR VIABLE.

We still need Yellow, Green, and Blue.
That historical lack is DEFINITELY tied to the fact that "those colors BELONG TO OUR BROTHERS."
I wonder... would the Nousfoni who are truly the "stable" Centralites FOR those colors REFLECT that???? Would they HAVE to be LIKE our brothers, in order TO hold those hues??
IS PURPLE GIVING US THE SAME ISSUE, WITH MOM?????



------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐⭐⭐"From one man the covenant line now bears a corporate destiny that will unfold through his twelve sons... Israel is both a person and the embryonic nation in which “ALL the families of the earth will be blessed [through the Messiah, born from that line and according to/ fulfilling all their promises]...
At the Exodus the name Israel designates the corporate people redeemed from slavery... "You shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation”. Deuteronomy revisits the covenant, stressing election and calling for wholehearted obedience."
(Oh wow this actually ALL sounds like our CORE BLOODLINES!)
1. All members of a Bloodline DO have one shared destiny
2. The System as a Whole shares a destiny
3. Twelve colors?
4. "Gentiles" being the Spherae??? They will be blessed IN being "brought into the family" THROUGH CHRIST
5. Exodus from trauma history & sin
6. Priests offer SACRIFICE; that concept is beloved & vital to us; also "living sacrifice" calling
7. Holy nation = "set apart" from world AND Somafoni???
8. We don't pick our positions inside?? We cannot force roles & jobs. God gives them and creates us FOR them, to do HIS WILL.
9. We are the Cathedral BECAUSE our whole existence REVOLVES AROUND GOD.
10. Our whole heart, pun intended = ALL the Cor(e)s, ALL the colors, loving & serving the LORD. Also mandatory reference to Infinitii historically being the "other half of the Cor(e) heart" 


❓"Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob receive irrevocable promises concerning land, seed, and blessing."
(Highlighting this because those are ALL ultimately fulfilled in Christ?? He is THE Seed = the Church spread throughout the world, His Body, countless descendants of Abraham by faith. He is the Source of blessing to all the world; He IS the blessing; we receive all good things IN HIM & THROUGH HIM for He is GOD. But what about LAND? Is that now the Heavenly Jerusalem? Is it the global reach of Christianity? Is it the fact that the Promised Land on earth is still marked forever by His Physical Presence and will remain irrevocably holy forever no matter what happens? Perhaps all of that. How is Jesus Himself the "Land"? Is that the Gates of Heaven, our true Homeland, open through Him alone? Is it "conquering Canaan" through conquering the devil/ flesh/ world, and making out very bodies a new settlement of grace? Is it that the whole earth belongs to Christ and we belong to Him? We leave everything behind to follow Him and live in Him. He IS our "Land" in which TO live. No matter how we wander in this fallen world, as sojourners and exiles called out of it, we are always settled and at home in Christ.)

⭐"...full possession [of the promises] awaits continual faithfulness... (if they do not prove that they are committed to covenant loyalty and steadfast love to God, by keeping His Commandments, then they cannot fully possess the promises– not because of any reticence or inability on God's part, but because FAITH is REQUIRED to RECEIVE?? God WILL keep His Promises, but they aren't universally bestowed??? Remember the "children of Abraham" debate!! God will wait as long as He needs to, before the fulfilment occurs. But it HAS, in JESUS. Still, even we cannot "fully possess" Him unless we are continually faithful. It's like a marriage. If our hearts are still partly frozen or hard or locked off, we literally CAN'T be full of anything God gives! We cannot hold all His gifts if our hands are clenched in angry fists, or clinging to material things! To fully receive, we must be fully prepared, and fully emptied of all hindrances.)
⭐‼️ Instead, continual cycles of apostasy and deliverance reveal Israel’s need for righteous leadership [which is ultimately Christ Jesus]."
(It's notable that they NEED a HOLY LEADER in order to be steadfast in righteousness? On their own, it seemd they were seduced by any false teacher or idolatrous nation that came along? I need to re-read the OT. But in any case it does speak to the human condition. We are too proud & self-reliant to really admit that, i think humans are wired to need a leader figure. We are MADE to SERVE, and to OBEY, the LORD ALONE. So if we don't, and refuse to, our very nature will nevertheless search for a "substitute". Unfortunately the devil knows this and WILL jump into that void ASAP. So of course we will fall into cycles of sin without God as our Leader! The problem is that unredeemed souls feel comfortable in those cycles. They might even LIKE sin. It's scary. I've been there. The devil tricks us by pretending there are "no rules, no laws, and no consequences," but that is a LIE that defies the nature of reality itself. In the blinded anarchy of pride, we claim we are free, but we don't know what freedom actually means. In truth, without God, we're helpless prisoners of the devil, even if we don't "want" to be, because he is the "original sinner" and if you're sinning, you're under his jurisdiction. You're living in his kingdom, and he calls the shots. Even if you're an atheist, a total unbeliever in anything spiritual, as long as you still give free reign to your own wants and desires, the devil is directing you like a puppet. In this fallen world, "you're always a slave to something"... unless, that is, you are adopted by grace. You're either a slave, or a child, and you have no power of your own to change your status. The Good News? The God Who created you TO be His Child has the adoption papers already signed and ready to go, and HAS been ready since the moment of your conception. The only hindrance to it happening is that no one ever told you. Satan has you locked up. You don't know that your contract is ready to be ripped up and replaced! And why? Because there's ONLY ONE WAY OUT OF SATAN'S SLAVERY = GOD HAS TO BUY US OUT. And He HAS!! CHRIST HAS PAID OUR "BAIL PRICE" IN FULL. The only thing is, now that EXPLICITLY MAKES HIM OUR "MASTER"= OUR LEADER. And if someone enslaved to sin denies they're a slave at all, and probably denies the existence of the devil too, how can they ever be free? If they don't want ANY "leader," refusing to admit the inevitability of authority, they're stuck by their own stubbornness. Pride will destroy them. Without a Good Leader, we cannot learn HOW to be good; without a Father teaching us as His children, we cannot truly BECOME good. Mere slavery is just mechanical action, and a proud, hypocritical, bitter, hollow, spiteful, sly, scared, faithless, loveless heart undermines all allegedly "good" acts. Besides, whose "lead" are we following, if we insist on being "free" to a fault? Only our own, right? But how does one teach themselves? You can't. Your own "autonomy" is an ouroboros. Being your "own authority" is a complete lie, and it fools so many. You are an echo chamber, magnifying only your ego. And to what end? You have no higher purpose than yourself. You're doomed, and the worst part is, the devil is still delighting in it. He's still the ruler of the realm you're operating in, like it or not. Any and all "servive of self" is satanic. If you reject the LORD, there's nowhere else to go.)
(Christ leads us into TRUTH, for He IS Truth. He leads us in the Light, for He IS Light. He leads us to restful waters, and green pastures... He also leads us to Calvary and the Cross. But He is a GOOD Leader, a GOOD Shepherd. He DEFINES righteousness, for He IS the Word that spoke the Law– the Law that reflects His Nature! And in Christ, we find that the Law is LOVE. That's HOW we become righteous, and free from sin. But we cannot love unless we LET Him love us, first. We cannot give, or act on, what we do not have. God IS Love. We need God IN us TO love. That happens by grace, through the Holy Spirit. And we only receive Him by being forgiven and recreated in Christ. How does He do that? By putting our fallen nature to death on the Cross, and paying the death penalty of sin in His Own Body, both accomplished in our place– personally and collectively. He redefined everything. The only obstacle = He will not force us to accept this exchange. We must first believe that He is God, after all. Without faith in the REALITY and TRUTH of His Sacrifice, we cannot receive it. We must have faith in Him, not ourselves. We must have faith that He loves us. We must admit that we are slaves, and desire to be free. We must have faith that He had paid the price. Et cetera. It's all on God. We must let Him lead, at last. But we do not submit as slaves again. No, the Holy Spirit makes us children at last, truly free because now we can LOVE. It's not about "me" anymore. It's about my family in Christ. Life is relationship now. Life is serving because I can, not because I "have to." Everything is joy in Him, and He leads me every step of the way. I trust Him.)
(Notice what follows apostasy in the cycles though. GOD ALWAYS DELIVERED THEM. But realize WHY = it's because THEY'RE HIS COVENANT PEOPLE. He is BOUND to them BY HIS OWN LOVE AND PROMISE!! So He literally CANNOT let them perish completely; He ALWAYS leaves a remnant when He punishes & purges their sins. He loves them; He doesn't want to lose them! And so He WON'T. He's a JEALOUS God; He is zealous to keep and protect and take back what is rightfully His, not as a mere "possession" but as a beloved– but on the flipside, He tolerates no unfaithfulness in His people! God hates the idols that steal us away, but what REALLY makes His Heart "jealous" is when we run after them ourselves. God wants US, completely and devotedly; He "MARRIED" us as spiritual Israel in His Covenant, just like our namesake ancestral nation, and WE, AS ISRAEL, AGREED WHOLEHEARTEDLY to it! Don't forget that part! God therefore has EVERY REASON to jealously punish our idolatrous ways, to burn that evil lust out of us. BUT. THEN HE ALWAYS TAKES US BACK TO HIMSELF. "His anger lasts but a moment," but His love & mercy & kindness & sweetness last FOREVER. So cling to this, when you struggle and stumble and slip and fall. Don't ever despair. God has delivered you DECISIVELY at the Cross. In Christ, you are ALREADY SAVED AND RESTORED. Never again will the cycles of wrath crush you. Jesus Christ has broken the ancient loop. His Arms are wide open to call you home. Run to Him! His Heart yearns for you, and He will never turn you away. In Him, you are home.)

⭐"The Tabernacle, and later the Temple, place the LORD’s dwelling “in the midst of Israel”. Sacrificial worship, festivals, and the priesthood set Israel apart as a theocratic society."
(Christ = Emmanuel = God with us. God has desired to dwell with humanity since Eden.
Tabernacle = Eucharistic language; through the Sacrament, God in Christ is literally dwelling in our midst even right now. He also makes US His "Tabernacles" when we receive the Sacrament. Note the "temporary" aspect of the word, recalling the wilderness wanderings and exile = so too is our life here on earth, and God accompanies us still, leading and accompanying us wherever we may go, in real yet temporary forms, until we reach our "Promised Land".
God's Temple = His Incarnate Body, the place where God is perfectly worshipped. Now, by the Holy Spirit, our own bodies become Members of His Spiritual Body, a Temple of "living stones" for Christ to worship the Father through & in us. Again, the Eucharist ties into this? It's like a nesting doll. The church building as Temple, the church people as Temple, the Host as Christ's Body as Temple. And all of this is done in a Mass that is offered simultaneously here on earth and in the true Heavenly Temple.)
(We are STILL SET APART FROM AN "AUTOCRATIC" SINFUL WORLD BY THREE THINGS = SACRIFICIAL WORSHIP, PRIESTHOOD, & FESTIVAL. All of these are necessarily IN CHRIST. He Himself is our High Priest, and He makes US priests IN Him. Priests exist TO offer sacrifice, and our one and only ultimate perfect Sacrifice IS JESUS HIMSELF, a LIVING and LOVING and SINLESS Sacrifice, perfect and pure, offered freely and willingly in humble obedience to God, FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS. And this IS our "festival," the celebration of HIM, of His death AND resurrection, of His saints and salvific plan unfolding to this day, until His return; the Christian life IS a festival for joy in Him. Israel rejoices in their God, in His Covenant Promises, in His faithful love, in their great blessings at His Hands. So too do we. We are GOD'S people, HIS Holy Nation; we do not belong to ourselves. Our entire way of life revolves around Him. Our past, present, and future are in His Hands alone. Our Laws are HIS Laws. Our hopes are set solely on His Will for us. Our whole existence is for God and about God and in God and because of God, and it is beautiful.
In contrast, the world that "rules itself," rejecting God, does not have true "festival" but only "parties" and "circuses" and "carnivals," all fleshly & worldly & celebrating earthly things. They have no priests, for they disdain the very notion of sacrifice. Idol-worshippers may have priests and sacrifices, but they are based on human authority and ideas; they are temporal and temporary, lacking the virtue and merit and selfless motives of Christ. They have completely different offerings and methods than those in God's Law. Their festivals also differ from the truth, for they are not celebrating salvation, or election, or covenant, or promises. Though perhaps similar in some outward appearance, they and Israel are not the same at all. And in the end, no idol will ever, nor CAN ever, speak to, watch over, provide for, lead or guide or teach or LOVE like the God of Israel can and does and always will.)


⭐"Prophets such as Hosea and Amos indict the nation for idolatry and social injustice while pledging future restoration. Isaiah proclaims, “You are My servant, Israel, in whom I will display My glory”. Jeremiah promises a “new covenant"... Ezekiel’s vision foretells national reunification under “My servant David”."
(This implies that idolatry LEADS to social injustice!! That makes sense, because only the True God is just, and rejecting Him and His Law of Love will INEVITABLY result in terrible harm to the human person and society.)
(Again, GOD pledges to restore, to "display His glory," THROUGH the New Covenant, which is in Christ, the Servant in the line of David, Who reunites ALL nations AND ALL THINGS, as they were before the Fall!)

I'm spending too much time on this so here are snippets =
⭐Exile scatters Israel; our time on earth is an Exile and we are all over the planet, disconnected even in the Church schisms. But God ALWAYS preserves a faithful remnant, all over the planet. He "preserves, restores, and reforms" us even in the midst of oppression and "foreign rule," like in persecuted countries. God keeps us alive, heals our minds and souls and teaches us the Truth, and continually reshapes us to be more like His Son. God will continue to do this until Christ returns, no matter how catastrophic the state of the world AND the church may get. Even as churches close and devilish lifestyles prevail, there IS a remnant, and we WILL stand invincible by God's Power.
⭐ Our history is a reason to praise God always, and a solid exhortation to put all our hope in Him still. We are "exalted" not by the world, or by worldly means, but because we have been given the righteousness of God in His Law of Love in Christ, by grace. He alone is our glory, and it is an eternal glory. We really have a duty of love to praise His merciful compassion and rejoice in it!
⭐ Historical Israel always had a destiny of hope, because of Messiah– but this hope was linked with repentance. The three all go together. Christ our hope belongs to us, and we belong to Him, but we must repent before we can receive Him. Even so, it is our intended destiny to do so, and therefore God will give us every means to accomplish it, by His grace.
⭐ THE PROMISES ARE STILL "NOT YET FULFILLED" ON EARTH??? All of national Israel still has not repented and come to Christ, which the NT speaks of frequently! The Promised Land is still a warzone! And yet "the covenant and promises, the law and the worship," all "BELONG" to Israel; they cannot be lost or revoked. This is a powerful hope. And even now the promises are expanding beyond initial expectations; the nations are blessed by being brought into the Kingdom, the "Land" reaches to the heavens themselves, etc. Until Jesus returns, there is still a Plan unfolding, and Israel is never forgotten or lost.
⭐ Ethnic Israel is forever chosen, blessed, special, and essential to the future of the whole planet. They have a particular destiny that continues alongside "spiritual Israel," the two of us mysteriously linked yet separate = "Scripture holds both continuity and distinction between national Israel and the multinational body of Christ."


⭐"Prophecies, anchored in covenant hope, anticipate = 1. a final regathering of ALL the exiled & scattered tribes of Israel (literally so, not just in "spiritual Israel"?? Isaiah 11 is clearly describing Jesus, but in a "now and not yet" sense; is this Parousia prophecy?? In any case, God will not leave His chosen people in such a pitiful state as they still are, so hated without cause and nearly destroyed; He has still kept a remnant, and they are beloved to Him forever, and He WILL bring them home to the land of Abraham. Yes, Christ lived there, but it belongs to the Jews, not the later Christians, although we share in it through Messiah. But they are forever the people of the Promises, and I firmly trust that God WILL vindicate and glorify His Israel in the end.) (Also, honestly? I'm a Gentile and I'm still so excited to think that, on that day, JUDAH will return– the ten "lost tribes" will be revealed and restored, to finally rejoice in their true and blessed heritage and lineage! It'll be a homecoming like the world has never seen.) 2. spiritual renewal (cleansing Israel from all penchant for idolatry and hardness of heart, which plagued them historically; God will give them HIS SPIRIT and they will finally be ABLE to keep the Covenant in truth. As a Christian I wonder if this implies the acceptance of Christ as Messiah by ALL Jewish peoples? Especially with the "new heart" bit (no longer resisting the revelation) AND considering the Christian belief that you can ONLY receive the Holy Spirit in His true fullness through faith in Christ, and subsequent baptism into Him. Otherwise, original sin keeps Him out. BUT ARGUABLY, the circumcision covenant worked the same effect before Christ??? Because they HAD grace for sure, it was just an "imperfect" bestowal. I actually don't know church doctrine on this, with original sin vs grace in the OT. I need to go read about it.), and 3. Messianic reign from Jerusalem. (DEFINITELY the Parousia, and it makes me very happy to KNOW that no matter how devastated the Holy City is now, by politics and war and heresy, in the end it will be honored above all cities on earth once again.) Revelation lists “twelve tribes of the sons of Israel” sealed during tribulation, and the New Jerusalem’s gates bear their names, attesting to Israel’s enduring place in God’s redemptive program." (Which is why "replacement theology" and "dispensationalism" are both completely untrue and dangerous. Israel, as both a people and nation, are forever blessed and beloved to God, even in their exile & remnant state, and therefore their place in this whole planet's history & destiny is central and essential.)

⭐‼️ A very eye-opening snip from Catholic Answers =
"So we are talking about contemporary Jews who, like Christians, await a coming Messiah. The difference is that Christians recognize this future coming of Messiah as the Second Coming of Christ. Jewish messianic expectation is not in vain in the sense that Christ is indeed coming back. What is incomplete in Jewish understanding is the failure to recognize that the Messiah already has come once, that He is present and active in Christians, and that when He returns He will be the same Jesus Who appeared in the first century."
(I actually love how that highlights God's great mercy & love for His chosen people. No other nation on earth is getting a "second chance to receive the Christ" like Israel is, and furthermore, He's doing so in a way that completely validates & respects their pious hopes and covenant faith in their LORD. So do not ever condemn them for it! In the end, after all, even their current doubts and incomplete understanding WILL serve to glorify God, Who loves them dearly, all the more.)


⭐Titles for Israel =
• Firstborn son (the first of all nations to return to God after the Fall, also the lineage of Jesus, the "literal" Firstborn Son of God + cherished, special inheritance, family rights & privileges, authority)
• Congregation of the LORD (lexicon says = "an assembled company bound together by covenant identity, purpose, or occasion... it regularly describes Israel gathered as one people, whether in worship, governance, warfare, or repentance... an identifiable body before God and the world."  That's very beautiful, especially with the modifier "of the LORD." It means that, of all the assemblies of all peoples on earth, ONLY Israel was bound together BY GOD, FOR GOD, and that IDENTIFIED them "as one body." They weren't just gathered, they were ONE. No wonder their national & ethnic consciousness is so strong and important; it rightly should be! We have a lot to learn from them, in the Church, who are also called through Christ's Covenant to be "a congregation of the LORD." Sadly though, at least locally, we lack this awareness of being "bound together as one people," and thinking even of ourselves as intrinsically part of that "one body", before God and the world; we never stand apart or alone. How ironic, that the Body of Christ still seems to lack that persistent corporate consciousness!)
• Holy nation (BECAUSE they were "a kingdom of priests"! Commentary says = "It is not the duty of personal, but the privilege of official, holiness that is here intended... Personal holiness was the natural and fitting outcome from this official holiness...
Each Israelite was to be as near to God, as fully entitled to approach Him, as the priests of other nations either were or thought themselves... All the Israelites, if compared with other people, were priests unto God, so near were they to him, so much employed in his immediate service, and such intimate communion they had with him." Also on the holiness topic, "The tendency of the laws given them was to distinguish them from others (who did not know the true God), and engage them for God as a holy nation (as opposed to being primarily engaged in idolatrous or worldly affairs; their national purpose and identity was wholly devoted to God alone and directly dictated by Him)."
• Vine out of Egypt (Egypt symbolizing oppression & slavery & idolatry= the "type" of all hostile unbelieving nations. The "vine" is a grapevine, healthful & fruitful & beautiful, but needing to be "transplanted out" of that situation before it could truly thrive. God did so in the Exodus, and also "cast out" all the hostile inhabitants of Canaan to "plant" Israel there in fertile soil. Basically God is highlighting Israel's unique status among the nations, as being this special living nutritive thing, which would have had no hope had He not decisively and purposefully removed and cared for it.)
• Servant of the LORD (Lexicon = "Context decides whether the emphasis is legal status, vocational duty, covenant relationship, or a posture of humble dependence." This is a word I NEED to study. But for now, it suffices to emphasize that Israel is declared to NOT be a servant of sin. Israel is "legally bound" to God, not any idols or foreign authorities. Israel has a privileged calling and destiny to consciously serve the Creator and Master of All. Israel is humbly aware of her mortal weakness and inability to save herself from Pharaoh, but this meekness positions her to depend on He Who alone CAN and WILL provide bountifully for her, and Who she will now serve joyfully as a good and just "Master"– "Redemption from Pharaoh redefined Israel’s identity; they now served Yahweh alone (who effectively "redeemed them / bought them out" BY THE LAMB'S BLOOD, a type of Christ!!)." Again, "The Exodus paradigm frames salvation as a transfer of ownership. Having been freed from a harsh master, Israel joyfully embraces service to a benevolent Redeemer." Even if they didn't "owe" God service, the staggering display of both His unfathomable Power and Goodness towards them, should have elicited such immense gratitude in their hearts, and recognition of His character, that they would have willingly offered to serve Him in return. What could be better? How could they possibly not serve, let alone leave, such a God? It's the same thing with Jesus. Do we realize this about Him? We are now OWNED by God, and no human power can ever take us away from Him! Remembering from whence we were delivered, we should be rejoicing constantly over that blessed fact.
Most of all, though, Israel is "servant" in a completely unique way: through covenant relationship. That was no business contract or financial arrangement. In a covenant, the two parties give themselves, MUTUALLY. Covenant is INHERENTLY FAMILIAL!! So even now we have an eventual hope of true & total adoption. "Israel is MY people. Israel, I am YOUR God." The "servanthood" here is but a natural element of divine-to-human relations, but the Covenant puts it in a whole new light. God is THEIR God. He "belongs" to Israel as much as they belong to Him! Service, then, becomes oddly tender, touched by a sense of "home," of being "wanted and welcome," of doing these duties not as a chore but as a sharing of purpose and life.
Lastly, on that note, "their designation [as God's servants] marks them as instruments of revelation and redemptive history." This is actually a given, when you consider it= what is God's business? Salvation. So if you're His servant, you're not doing worldly work; you're necessarily going to have duties that correspond TO His mysterious Plan and holy Purposes!)

• Wife of the LORD (THIS is the MAJOR one in my eyes. It floors me whenever I read it.)
Taking a tangent to copypaste the Concordance notes because this is an essential topic that really deserves its own day of reflection, especially in light of System experience =
⭐"Covenant love entails rightful authority and exclusive loyalty... marriage is a sacred covenant. [It] carries the weight of lawful possession, insistent on exclusive belonging. [As His "Bride,"] Israel is under God's covenant protection, and any intrusion invites divine judgment.
‼️ "Idolatrous powers are illegitimate husbands whom Israel has wrongly served... The Divine Husband constantly claims His wayward spouse, securing her repentance by reaffirming His ownership... Idolatry is spiritual adultery; repentance is a return to one’s rightful Husband... As adultery breaches covenant, so idolatry corrupts worship. Purity safeguards covenant identity."
⭐❤"By employing marital imagery for Zion’s renewal, promising her restoration, God binds Himself to His people with the deepest covenant language, securing future fruitfulness... such language of endearment reveals the redemptive trajectory of covenant history... From the Garden to the New Jerusalem, marriage typifies God’s redemptive plan."
⭐‼️ Malachi laments, The people of Judah have treacherously broken their promise to God. They have done a horrible, disgusting thing in Jerusalem...They have defiled and dishonored the Temple which the LORD loves, and their men have married women who worship foreign gods!" This syncretistic betrayal exposes covenant infidelity both religiously and matrimonially, preparing for the Messiah who embodies faithful Israel... Israel’s breach necessitates the new covenant fulfilled in Christ... The new covenant secures what the old could only prefigure: an unbreakable union in Christ."
⭐‼️ "Human marriages are covenant laboratories where divine fidelity is modeled and learned. Marriage is the first social covenant; its protection stabilizes families and reflects the faithfulness of God... Christ is the ultimate Bridegroom whose Blood secures the bride’s purity... All Biblical headship mirrors Christ’s sacrificial lordship, calling husbands to protective love and wives to willing partnership. Every husband's authority is covenantal, protective, and accountable to God."
⭐⭐ "Husband" threads through Scripture as a golden strand of covenant lordship and conjugal love, reaching its fullest expression in the union of Christ and His Church. Recognizing the breadth of its usage equips believers to honor marriage, resist idolatry, and rejoice in the steadfast love of their covenant Lord."

Seriously, don't leave that uncommented. Return to it later.

• People of His pasture (Commentary = "As the shepherd owns the flock, so God is our owner; we are particularly His Own. As our Good shepherd, God guards us, takes care of us, and provides for us... He that made us, personally and closely maintains us, and gives us all things richly to enjoy."
"But we are also helpless and defenseless; we need His care, as a flock needs the care of a shepherd. And so we might naturally look for it, just as the care of the shepherd for his sheep might be expected..."
"We are thine, we are the objects of thy care, we are poor, silly, and defenceless things: pity us, forgive us, and come to our rescue. We are but sheep, do not continue to be wroth with us.")
(I've posted all that because it's such a tender and careful relationship, although like marriage and parenthood, also emphasizing "ownership" or "authority," albeit inundated with devoted, self-giving Love. There's inherent humility in being a sheep, in knowing and ADMITTING you're "poor, silly, and defenseless," but that same cognition brings a profound comfort and joy because God has declared Himself as your Shepherd. We can bank on that. He knows we need care and protection and provision, and so He appoints Himself forever to lavish it on us– but not merely as a distant benefactor. No, He deems us to be His Own flock, belonging to Him and precious to Him; He will die for His dear sheep.)

• Light to the nations = "Through Israel came the revelations of Scripture, worship, and ultimately the Savior."
(BE GRATEFUL. THAT'S ASTOUNDING TO REMEMBER.)


⭐ "God’s sovereign, elective choice of Israel (both the man and the nation!) underscores grace."
(No one ever earns grace. Jacob's destiny was designed when he was still a zygote. And his descendants were both "good and bad," all together as a people, neither affecting the Will of God– the unfaithful didn't "make God change His mind", just as the faithful didn't "get bonus points" so to speak. Although God still delivers just punishment for sin, His Covenant stands unperturbed by ANY outside influence. He chose them ALL, as one, permanently. His promises apply without exception, as their constancy is based solely on His Nature. He has decided, and "will not repent.")

⭐ "Unconditional covenant promises anchor biblical history and theology."
(This hits heavy. HISTORY hinges on those Promises, as does everything we believe. God's faithfulness is the sole bedrock on which any and all human hope stands.)

⭐ "Israel’s calling models holiness to others, and their obedient witness to it proclaims God’s character to the nations."
(Israel didn't know how to be holy until God outlined it in the Law. No human being does! Holiness is GOD'S intrinsic character; we lost it in the fall. We only "get it back" THROUGH Him. Therefore, by obeying His holy instructions, we inevitability mirror Him, however dimly. This is what first makes Him "perceptible" to mortal man, outside of direct revelation! He used Israel as His ambassadors, really. Like us Christians, they "preached the Truth by their actions," not just by words– especially when words mean little or nothing to staunch unbelievers. But holiness is powerful. God does work through our obedience, almost by default– if He IS Holy, just as He IS Love and Truth, then when we act according to His Laws and decrees, we ARE accomplishing His Will in a real way, however particular, and that makes Him "present" in echo.)

⭐"“Israel” moves from one man’s new name to a nation chosen, chastened, scattered, and destined for glory. In both Old and New Covenants the term remains central to God’s unfolding plan, culminating in a redeemed remnant and the universal reign of the Messiah, underlining the surety of divine promise and the unity of Scripture’s testimony."
(Notice that the "chastened and scattering" do not nullify the choosing, nor do they alter the destiny. The end from the beginning has always been glory. The plan has ALWAYS been redemption; it's ALWAYS been salvation, and God's plans & promises are UNSTOPPABLE.)
("Israel" as a term is "central" to this plan?? As in"He who wrestles with God"?? That feels hugely important. Perhaps THAT ties in to the "holy tumult" of their/our history; we all begin as "Jacobs," and have to get divinely roughed up a bit before we can really "grow into" the national name. Something like that. It's worth pondering. The end is that what little we have left still makes it to see the dawn. The day still arrives for us broken few, a day that never ends, and the LORD Who promised to never leave us never will. He will being us back, and we will worship Him forever.)

------‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

072325

Jul. 23rd, 2025 08:48 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 
Unexpected mom call
First week of August we have to housesit + catsit
Actually looking forward to it, its God's plan
Just schedule obsession OCD kicking in
Put it in God's hands!!


Finally put up some of the Portraits of Saints prayer cards on the bathroom wall by the towels, so our mind is never unoccupied with worship in there– otherwise we get stuck in OCD rituals and trauma flashbacks






------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‼️‼️‼️ "A supplanter is someone who, in selfishly seeking to "get ahead" or otherwise gain status/ position/ power, purposely makes a deliberate act of replacing or displacing someone who was previously in the desired position. It's not just a passive replacement, but an active process of taking over the role of, or place of, someone else who was in that place first... This is typically achieved through various underhanded tactics, such as:
Force: Using physical power to remove the previous occupant. 
Scheming: Employing cunning, trickery, or deception to undermine the existing position. 
Strategy: Using careful planning and tactics, even manipulation, to gain an advantage.
In any case, supplanting is not an act of integrity or honor."


⭐"He is a prince indeed that is a prince with God, [for royal blood does not necessarily mean a noble soul. Earthly titles, however grand, hold no inherent merit and carry no honor in heaven; yet even a pauper can be a prince with the LORD if he perseveres in his pious practice of prayer. Yes,] the truly honourable man is one who is mighty in prayer. [Such a man knows that ALL his strength and virtue both come from God, the All-Good and Omnipotent, and so he puts no hope whatsoever in his distorted will, moral frailty, or physical weakness; nor does he take any pride in the ultimate impotence of any worldly thing. Honor only exists where egotism is absent. A prayerful man, whose mightiness is entirely sourced from that divine supplication, will be honored by others, for virtues naturally merit such response even in this world. But that man is still not a "prince" through popular appraisal, even if he is a good and worthy man in their sight– for his humility is his true crown of nobility, and any earthly honor he receives he rightly redirects to HIS LORD. This is the paradox of spiritual royalty; "He raises up the lowly".)

❓"...[Such a prayerful soul, thereby] having power with God, shall have power with men too; for "having faithfully prevailed for a blessing from heaven, he shall, no doubt, prevail for the favor of his fellow man.""
(Because GOD moves THEIR hearts too?? OR, is a truly prayerful person just so "radiant with grace" as a result OF the sanctity obtained by such prolonged communion with the LORD, that their presence naturally (even if unconsciously) elicits a positive response from those who they come in contact with, by "spiritual effervescence" alone? Like so many Orthodox monks & hermits! They even have that effect on wild animals! They are so steeped in constant prayer, which inundates them with Gods Love and Presence, that your OWN soul can't help but respond in kind. It's "sympathetic vibration" in a way? But I think we humans are BUILT FOR IT. We're SUPPOSED to be like that! And its why Saints are SO IMPORTANT, especially in modern times. Holiness is contagious! Virtue is catchy! Edification can even be passive, if only you have so much of Christ’s Light within you that you're emitting it like the "Light of the world" He called you TO be!)




------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

3201. yakol = "to be able to do a thing, whether the ability be physical, moral, constitutional, or dependent on external authority... [Meant] literally (can, could) or morally (may, might)... to attain, to accomplish, to endure, to overcome, to have power, to prevail, to suffer."

⭐⭐ "Yakol can describe sheer capability, permission to act, endurance, victorious strength, or impossibility (when negated). The verb therefore serves as a hinge between God’s power and human limitation, frequently highlighting the contrast between the two. Most significantly, it underscores the limitless power of God... [it] attaches divine ability to the certainty of divine promise. = "Is anything too difficult for the LORD? [No!] There is nothing too difficult or too wonderful for [the LORD to do]!"

⭐⭐‼️ "The prophets repeatedly ground their calls to repentance and hope in this truth."
ZECHARIAH 8 essence =
""The LORD who rules over all says, 'I am very much concerned for Zion; indeed, I am so concerned for her that my rage will fall on those who hurt her. ...I have longed to help Jerusalem because of my deep love for her people, a love which has made me angry with her enemies... I am returning to Mount Zion, and I will live in the very midst of Jerusalem, my holy city... All this may seem impossible to you, who are but a small remnant left of my people, [but why would your judgment make it seem impossible to Me as well? Do you have such a small idea of what I can do, of Who I Am? If I have said it, will I not do it? I promise you, I can and will fulfill every Word I have spoken to you, for I am True, and nothing is impossible for Me– I Who Am the LORD All-Powerful]. You can be sure that I will rescue my people from the east and from the west. I will bring them home again to live safely in Jerusalem. They will be my people, and I will be their God, and I will be faithful and true and righteous to them as their God. I am the Lord All-Powerful! So don't give up. My people, my remnant, only a few of you are left, and I promise not to punish you as I did before... People of Judah and Israel, you have been a curse to the nations, but no longer! I will rescue and save you, and I will make you become both a symbol and a source of blessing to them. So don't be afraid. Have courage and be strong."
(ALL the prophetic hope is BASED ON GOD'S OWN PROMISES OF RESTORATION AND MERCY. What hope would we have TO repent if God had not first guaranteed that it was NOT futile, that He  COULD and WOULD forgive and heal and restore us to Himself? What future would we ever have without His Presence with us? Despair is the devil's greatest weapon. If Israel felt that God "was not able" to make things right, either through lack of power or lack of will, what reason would they have had TO pray? Why seek Him, if He had left forever? Why turn back, if He had turned away? THAT is WHY God sends the prophets– they speak His judgment, rightfully and truly so, yes, BUT then they ALSO speak His MERCY AND FORGIVENESS, when it seems most impossible and improbable!! God is ALWAYS ABLE TO SAVE, and He PROVES THAT UNDENIABLY IN JESUS CHRIST = THROUGH Christ, God CAN forgive ANYONE, and IN Christ, God can even bring them back to life from death itself– which is the ULTIMATE VICTORY over ALL sin!! So what have we to fear? Nothing! No matter how desperate and impossible things may seem, no matter how hopeless or despairing we may feel, GOD CAN, AND GOD WILL, DO EVERYTHING HE HAS PROMISED... and remember, His biggest Promise was to send us a Savior. And He DID. So don't forget what "Savior" MEANS = it means, GOD IS ABLE. Just have faith!!)


⭐ "The same verb measures human frailty & limits. Such honesty invites dependence on the God Who alone “is able”."
2 CHRON 20 = "O our God, won’t you stop them? Aren't you going to punish them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us! We won't stand a chance when they attack. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to Youwe are begging for Your help. All our eyes are on You alone."
(THAT'S a wrestling prayer. Its raw honesty, completely open, and emptied of all pride or self-reliance.)

Understanding "Yakol" cultivates praying faith and models intercession, for “In His Hand [alone] are [all] Power and Might, and no one can withstand, oppose, or defeat Him; God CAN accomplish ALL things, and NOTHING can thwart His Purposes; His Plans are unstoppable; God can do everything He wants."
(If God wills something, it WILL be done. But in our prayerful intercession for the "yet-unrealized" good of others– especially their conversion and salvation– we HAVE to have HOPE that He MIGHT grant it, because we KNOW that He DOES desire such a thing, and so we can cling to FAITH that He CAN make it happen. He is our ONLY hope. That should INSPIRE us to pray for others, not despair that "well He might not want to." Who else would you ask?? And do you not know God's character?? Do you doubt His love and mercy and goodness so much?? Do you not know He has a Father's Heart?? If your doubt is not in His POWER to act, but in His NATURE concerning the act, then you have a much bigger problem sir!!)

⭐‼️❓ "We must admit and confess even our worst sins, or we are lost. Still, we may fear that they are "too bad to be forgiven." Do not think this! When we come with contrite hearts to God, we can cling fast to His PROMISE AND ABILITY to SAVE us and give us another chance, DESPITE the inevitable consequences of our iniquity."

❓ "Ezra attests = “My God, I am too ashamed and hurt to turn to you, because we’re in our iniquities over our heads. Furthermore, my God, our sins have grown as high as the heavens... Now for a short time, O LORD our God, you have been gracious and kind to us and have let some of us escape from slavery and live in safety in this holy place. You have let us escape from slavery and have given us new life... for we were slaves, but in Your unfailing love You did not abandon us in our slavery... And now, O our God, what can we say after all of this? For once again we have abandoned Your commands! ...Now all these calamities are happening to us as a just result of our terrible sins, for our evil deeds and our overwhelming guilt. But God, You have spared us even so, for in Your great mercy and restraint You have actually punished us far less than we deserve. You have even allowed some of us to survive and escape, delivered by You as a remnant... O LORD God of Israel, You are just and righteous, but/therefore You have let some of us survive. We confess our guilt to You; we have no right to come into Your Presence... our sins have made us ashamed to face You."

⭐"The Psalms often frame lament or praise on the same axis: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart” = "Though I have no strength in myself, I have it in God, my never-failing refuge, to Whom I will trust as long as I live."
("I CAN'T, BUT GOD CAN." It is never, ever the opposite– to reverse it is DEMONIC PRIDE & A TOTAL LIE!! This also shows that we cannot lament our own sins, OR praise God, WITHOUT standing on this humble axis! We trust and rely on HIS ABILITY, when we admit that we have no ability of our own without Him!! We are mortal, and finite, and blind and weak and dying every day! We can't even resist the smallest temptation, let alone pursue the smallest good, without His grace! Our flesh and our heart ARE failing, by design, every day. BUT. We don't need to worry about that, if our strength is in God. He CAN and DOES sustain us who rely on Him, according to our needs, and His Will. That total confident trust in His active and infinite capacity for our Good IS the strength of our hearts. We can rest in His Power. We can fight by "standing still," as Moses told Israel, and as Jacob ultimately ended up doing at the River, when his flesh failed. This is the foundation of all our lament AND praise = when we have no reason or desire whatsoever to praise ourselves, and therefore we see endless reasons and have overflowing desire to praise God! Is this not strength, to sing for joy in the greatest poverty? Is that not an invincible power in itself? How can any pain or trouble ever defeat you, when you trust so radically and totally in God Your Savior, God Who CAN do, and DOES do, whatever NEEDS to be done? Nothing can shake you then, even if your own body fails, even if all your heart can do is look to Him, cling to Him, trust in Him. That's enough. That's victory.)

⭐⭐"Because God both promises andis able,” "Yakol" underwrites covenant reliability... The link between promise and power explains why the exile is not final: “He who scattered Israel will gather them and watch over His flock like a shepherd". Divine capacity guarantees covenant restoration."
(This is the most amazing aspect of this verb to me. God uses it SO OFTEN in PROMISES, notably of SALVATION. That's what the Covenants He made are all ABOUT! He uses them to BLESS and BESTOW GRACE, so as to MAKE US HIS PEOPLE, HOLY AND FREE FROM SIN. And that point is WHY He promises= because nothing in the universe HAS power to save and sanctify BUT GOD. And even better, He PROMISES to. Our "only hope" has GUARANTEED that hope. How astoundingly benevolent He is! Seriously, I think EVERY SINGLE PROPHECY about Israel that does speak of exile or likewise just punishment for their sin, IMMEDIATELY ALSO INCLUDES A PROMISE OF RESTORATION. He keeps our hope vibrantly alive and unshakable IN HIMSELF, the only One Who CAN deliver and preserve and rebuild and forgive and save. All we need to do is trust Him, and IN that trust, come back to Him.)

⭐"Yakol" frequently appears in military settings to describe prevailing power... [but] victory depends on the LORD, not on troop strength... Military might is relativized; ultimate victory belongs to God."
(Again a super notable bit in Scripture = see Samson & David & Joshua & Jericho. God loves to conquer through human weakness, and in spite of mortal strength. We forget too often, when we have legitimate muscle and weapons and firepower, that God is STILL calling the shots. Even with all "logical" odds are stacked on the bigger army's side, the battles of Lepanto and New Orleans can still happen... because the smaller army KNEW their weakness and disadvantage but didn't seek to empower themselves by mortal means; instead they turned to GOD for help, specifically in PRAYER. The distinguishing point was WHERE THEY PUT THEIR TRUST. Even a military cannot truly trust in itself, regardless of its strength, because God GAVE it that strength and He CAN take it away OR nullify it, yes, even "against all odds". "The LORD is a warrior," the "God of angel armies," remember; all victory in heaven AND on earth BELONGS to Him; "NO flesh shall glory in His Sight"!! In the end, EVERY example of human "power" will be relativized, and seen as completely useless, without the divine ability that allowed for, provided for, and sustained it in the first place... and Who only did so for His purposes, after all. Be humbled! But be grateful, too! Whether you're a high-ranking soldier fighting an external enemy, or if you're an addict or an invalid fighting an internal one, your status of "strength" doesn't change your chance at "victory." GOD CAN be victorious in you, however He wills, if only you surrender your power TO His disposal, and allow Him to use you as He wills. That total obedience to the General of All Armies is what being a REAL "soldier of God" is about. NOW you're on the winning side no matter what! Let THAT– let HIM– be your true strength and ultimate victory as well.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️ Job’s theology of suffering is framed by "yakol" = human endurance is finite (we cannot), but divine sovereignty is boundless and beneficent (God can)."
⭐⭐‼️‼️ Examples given are Job 6= "I have no strength to keep on living. Why go on living when I have no hope? I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for." VERSUS Job 42 “I know that You, God, can do anything, and no one can stop You. You ask how I dare question Your wisdom when I am so very ignorant. I talked about things I did not understand, about marvels too great for me to know..."  =  "...while to Job's finite view, God's plans seem bad, to the All-wise One they continue unhindered in their development, and will at last be seen to be as good as they are infinitely wise. No evil can emanate FROM the Parent of Good; but it is His prerogative to overrule evil TO good.")
(The commentary on Job 6 is HEAVY=
"...the sense is, that he could not hope, from any strength that he had, to bear without complaining these trials until the natural termination of his life; and hence, he wished God to grant his request, and to destroy him. Feeling that his patience was sinking under his calamities, be says that it would be better for him to die than be left to dishonor his Maker. It is just the state of feeling which many a sufferer has, that his trials are so great that nature will sink under them, and that death would be a relief. THEN is the time to look to GOD for support and consolation."
So in ANY case, we MUST NEVER DESPAIR!!! God is able to TURN EVIL TO GOOD, and to SUPPORT US AS WE SUFFER THAT EVIL, and we must TRUST HIM AS OUR GOOD & WISE & CAPABLE GOD IN ALL OF IT. That's the "theology of suffering"= it's the mystery of the CROSS. We may be utterly despondent, with no hope or strength left, with no future, with no trust in ourselves, totally bereft. We may be crushed by loss and pain and terror, with "nothing to live for," with an absolute inability to cope... by ourselves. What can we do? We can PRAY to the One Who CAN do ALL those things FOR us and IN us. We CANNOT endure forever and we're not MEANT to; God is Sovereign and He in TOTAL CONTROL of what's going on with us & around us & to us. And He knows we are but dust. He doesn't expect us to be superhuman, or even worse, to try to be godlike in our endurance. Rather, He WANTS us to turn to HIM IN our sufferings, like CHRIST did. He WANTS to be our strength! But we have to be completely emptied of our own first, remember? Only then can God work miracles: through surrender. What do we have to live for? God. What do we hope for? What is our future? God. Where is our strength, our joy, our comfort, our direction, our support? God. Where do we place ALL our trust? GOD. When we turn to HIM to be our EVERYTHING, because we have nothing left "in heaven or on earth" BUT Him, we find that He CAN be, and already IS, everything we could EVER want or need. His Sovereignty, His Ability, is ALL-SUFFICIENT for perfectly meeting our needs, and it is INFINITE in its capacity and application, and it is ABSOLUTELY BENEVOLENT. Do NOT forget that, because it's weirdly easy to, since it's so shocking to our melancholic minds and guilty hearts. EVERYTHING GOD DOES IS GOOD. We just might not understand or comprehend it as such at the time, with our limited and distorted mortal perspective. But we can nevertheless TRUST in God's Name: compassionate, merciful, forgiving, just, true, righteous, faithful, patient, reliable... "God WITH us"; "God Who sees and hears me," "God Who saves." )


⭐⭐"No nation can thwart God’s redemptive plan... "Yakol" encapsulates the eschatological hope: “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” a statement of divine capability fulfilling end-time restoration... [Zechariah 4 attests that it is] "not by force of arms, nor by human power, but by the aid of God's providence and grace... God would, not by those human means, in which they were sufficiently sensible of their own deficiency, but by his own Spirit, render his church triumphant over all opposition."
"[Man] need not be disheartened because of his weakness; for as the work [of restoring & preserving the Church] is one to be effected by the living Spirit of God, man's weakness is no obstacle, for God's might will perfect strength out of weakness."


⭐‼️ "The theology of "yakol" foreshadows New Testament declarations such as “With God all things are possible” and “He IS able to save completely those who draw near to God through Him” ...directly linking Old Testament revelation of divine ability to Christ’s demonstrated authority over nature, demons, sickness, and death."

"The same God who “was able” to bring Israel out of Egypt is “able to keep you from stumbling”. [In His constancy of capacity AND love, you have an assurance of His current devotion to your deliverance and salvation.]"
(THIS is what they mean by "God never changes"!!)


⭐‼️"Believers will and must inevitably confront and humbly accept their own “I cannot” moments, but it is then that they can look with dependent faith to the Holy Spirit, Who “IS able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”. It is in Him that they will find and receive the necessary empowerment for Godly service."


⭐⭐⭐‼️ "When we are afflicted and suffering, especially from great loss & grief, we can actually find the encouragement to persevere in hope in passages like Lamentations 3:21-24, where we are taught that all real & lasting hope rests on God’s unfailing capacity, and that capacity is rooted in His unfailing LOVE for us."
(Here, read ALL of that Lamentations bit and MORE as it's ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING =
"Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”  The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in HIM!”  The Lord IS good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord... For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of His unfailing love. For He does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow..."
ET CETERA. The WHOLE CHAPTER is a GOLDMINE.)

⭐"The Church's global efforts of mission & evangelization, in obedience to the Great Commission, derive ALL their real efficacy and confidence from the God Who declares, “See, the Hand of the LORD is not too short to save”."
(WE don't save people. Only GOD saves people. But it is our SOLEMN DUTY and JOYFUL PRIVILEGE to COOPERATE in His mission by witnessing to His Gospel, and living as the Body of Christ to bring HIM to the whole world.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️❤ ""Yakol" functions as a theological fulcrum, lifting human eyes from personal impotence to divine omnipotence. It forms a Scriptural tapestry that binds creation, covenant, redemption, and eschatology into one coherent declaration: the LORD is able, therefore His Word, His Promises, and His Purposes WILL stand."


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

8280. sarah = "to prevail -- have power (as a prince)."
"to persist, exert oneself, persevere; contended, striven, wrestled."

⭐‼️"It conveys energetic contending that ends in victory. It pictures a strenuous, face-to-face struggle that refuses to let go until blessing is secured. The thought world is not casual opposition, but princely determination empowered by God."
(Face to face is KEY. So is the fact that it's NEVER "CASUAL.")


⭐‼️"The struggle was the turning point in the life of Jacob. It gives him the new covenant name of Israel, forever stamping the nation’s identity with the memory of persevering faith."
(I like the concept of his new name + identity, and that of the nation, are defined by a turning-point event, notably a "struggle of persevering faith". That's WORTHY of being named for, or rather BY. I can only hope & ponder this as a principle, in hopeful application to us...)

⭐‼️ "The new name "Israel" embeds the root "sarah" within it, so every mention of the nation silently echoes the idea of wrestling with God. Israel’s collective calling is to cling to the Lord until full redemptive blessing arrives— a theme ultimately fulfilled in Messiah."
(Same topic = a name SHOULD echo a CALLING. And I love that the calling finds its "telos" in CHRIST. That's really the ideal, and actual, purpose of everything. Again, I want to ponder this for myself and the System. What calling to Christ is echoing in our names?)

⭐⭐‼️💜 "The verb highlights the mysterious confluence of human exertion and divine condescension. Jacob “prevails,” yet only because the Lord allows it. Scripture therefore presents earnest striving not as self-salvation, but as the very arena in which grace is bestowed."
(I love that about God so much. He ALWAYS wants our COOPERATION. He's absolutely a Father in that.)
(ALSO the ARENA concept!! We need to "enter the ring" to get the trophy, but we can't do so unless we prove ourselves a combatant, and that's not done by claims or theories! It's ALL OR NOTHING. Either we FIGHT or we DON'T. But once we're in there, we cannot bail out or back down, or we'll end up worse off than before. I really think that half-hearted, wishy-washy prayers are detestable to God. If we're going to dare to enter the arena, by beginning to strive in prayer, we NEED to KEEP IT UP, even if we're barely able to stand up, we CANNOT QUIT. But the secret is that we must simultaneously realize that we cannot win on our own. Pride goes before a fall! God set up this arena TO BLESS YOU. The whole point of this struggle is for Him to EMPOWER you TO persevere in it! I'm going in circles. It's a Father and child. Dad lets the kid win the tussle, but the kid still has to do their best, and they learn from him as they go– He even takes their hand and "shows them how" to hit him good if they're really young or confused! As long as they stay with him in the "fight", focused on him, he will lead them to "victory." And yet this "loss" will be to his "glory" as a father for strengthening their bond, and proving his love and strength, and bringing the joy of rewarded trust & persistence to his child. Et cetera. But I actually love the idea of none of it being "my ability," "my credit." I'm so tired of this world pushing self-reliance. I'm exhausted by the atheistic perfectionism. I just want to give up on the scrupulosity and instead get on the rug with my Father and let Him teach me how to pin Him down in prayer, both of us struggling and laughing by the end, even through my tears. I want to earnestly strive because I just love striving with Him. There's such a key, yet quiet, distinction. I want to exert myself to exhaustion in a way that leaves me smiling and happy and "I can't wait to do it again tomorrow." But that never happens without love. And so it never happens without God. So... how do I strive? I pray. I start there, empty at the river. I wrestle all night and suddenly it's all I want in the whole world, to stay in His Arms, even if I end up hobbling away in the end. I'll treasure it. I've found my purpose now, my name, called by my Father. I'd rather limp, if it means He will be my support. I'll gladly take the damage of the fight, since means I'll therefore carry the proof-marks of His Touch.)
(Can you tell I'm getting tired? This is good though. I'm slowly sliding back to poet mode capability. By grace I'll get there. Just perhaps not on a phone touchpad.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Hosea uses the verb to convict rebellious Ephraim by contrasting Jacob’s tenacious seeking of God with their current faithlessness! Hosea’s prophetic use underscores covenant accountability. Israel’s namesake forefather contended for blessing; the nation must do the same in repentance, or face judgment."
(Oh wow this ups the ante. There is a CONTRAST between "audacious striving after God," even to the point of "hunting Him down," and LUKEWARM INDOLENT DISENGAGED APATHY. It's that extreme a break!! If you DON'T have the guts to go after God, then you're gutless. There is no real gray area with faith. You either have it, even just a mustard seed, or you don't. )
...


⭐‼️‼️ "The Psalms repeatedly urge the faithful to “seek His Face continually”, an exhortation resonant with Jacob’s night of striving... Prophets liken prayer to watchmen who “give Him no rest”. In the New Testament, the widow who continually petitions the judge and Paul’s command to “strive together with me in prayers to God for me” carry forward the same spiritual dynamic."
(I am continually shocked by how God is apparently going against ALL human logic and almost delighting in being bothered and pestered and interrupted??? Like "we won't let Him sleep" and He LOVES it?? We won't stop bugging Him about the same problem, every day like clockwork, and He LOOKS FORWARD to it?? He hides Himself and keeps silent and in response we go tearing the neighborhood apart looking for Him and calling His Name and turning over every rock in sight and He actually CAN'T WAIT TO BE FOUND?? But He WANTS US TO PUT THE EFFORT IN FIRST. Honestly it's just COURTSHIP. It's God's crazy wonderful way of "wooing" us ridiculous little creatures who He is madly in love with. He cherishes the seeking and knocking and asking. Yes, He DOES want to be bothered, and interrupted, and kept awake, and wrestled with. Yes, that's how JESUS loves us. And yes, that's therefore how He wants US to love OTHERS, too. It's a total game-changer, when it hits home.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️💜💜 "Prayer as Wrestling: Believers are ENCOURAGED to engage God with bold persistence, confident that He INVITES such importunity!"
(I LOVE this SO MUCH that it's hard to accept. I've WANTED this with God ALL MY LIFE but was always shamed for it and chastised against it. I was raised to see God as cold, aloof, judgmental, too holy to give me the time of day, untouchable and unapproachable lest I be annihilated for my brazen cheeky entitled foolish impertinence. It was basically the family dynamic. "Don't bother God, He doesn't want to hear you whine/ doesn't have time for your nonsense/ doesn't care about such stupid things/ doesn't tolerate such intrusion." Et cetera. God would never wrestle with me the way I yearned to wrestle with kids my age, and was likewise rejected with repulsion. Except God WOULD. I just... never realized it, or dared to even hope for it, until the System woke up and Laurie showed up and suddenly God was throwing punches through her. The rest is history, as they say. But... that's why the System is forever beloved to my heart. God works THROUGH them, IN them. I wouldn't have gotten to know Him otherwise. I wouldn't know that He loves me the way Laurie does. And... that is everything. It's the blinding light of dawn that destroys every shadow of doubt I've ever had.)


⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Transformation through Struggle: Jacob limps away blessed but broken; Christian maturity likewise often comes through nights of hardship that yield dependence on God."
(STORY OF OUR LIFE)

⭐"The embedded theology of "sarah" gives national hope for Israel; it assures that the covenant people, though currently in unbelief, will yet prevail in the end by God’s sovereign mercy."

⭐⭐‼️""Sarah" illustrates the paradox of divine-human encounter: determined striving that culminates NOT in human triumph OVER God, but in GOD’S triumph WITHIN the human heart. Whenever Scripture invites steadfast prayer, wholehearted seeking, and persevering faith, it quietly summons believers into the same princely struggle that forged the name Israel."




072225

Jul. 22nd, 2025 08:37 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Blackout exhausted this morning

Need to schedule psych work into daily schedule.
The 3 hours after dinner are getting lost; that's time i could use for System work



------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

God won't let me quit Exodus 32 because it's EXACTLY WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW and I am in TEARS.

ALSO after Mass I am realizing there are a few interesting PARALLELS between Jacob and Mary Magdalene in this situation???
1. Both "wrestled all night" in "tearful prayers and supplications" to God, a night that was notably tied to death
2. God revealed Himself AS divine AT DAWN; previously they thought He was just a man
3. God told both of them to "let me go/ don't hold on to me"
4. Both their ROLES change?? Jacob becomes a true patriarch & father of a nation, Mary becomes "apostle to the apostles" and the first herald of the Gospel
5. Rivers = Jabbok & Styx, arguably
6. Garden & Promised Land BOTH echoes of Eden / Heaven
7. Mary and Jacob both go to their "brothers"
So those are just a few odd thoughts I had upon hearing the Gospel after Adoration; Adoration is when I posted all the following paragraphs to comment on now that I'm finally home for breakfast. Thank You Holy Spirit for all your guidance. Thank You Christ for Your beautiful and eternal love, for both of them and for me even now.

⭐⭐⭐OH ALSO!! DON'T FORGET, IN LIGHT OF YESTERDAY'S REVELATION ABOUT "PROMISES" AND "I WILL" LANGUAGE IN SCRIPTURE= DURING ADORATION GOD SUDDENLY POINTED US TO ISAIAH 54, WHICH IS APPARENTLY ALL PROMISES. THAT HAD US WEEPING.
AND!! DURING MASS WE REALIZED, JESUS'S VERY NAME IS A PROMISE ("Yehoshua" in Hebrew) = IT MEANS "GOD SAVES!!" THAT'S ACTIVE TENSE!
(The other Hebrew spelling of the same Name– "Yeshua"– means "God WILL save," which further proves this point)


⭐‼️ "Perhaps the [LORD] was unwilling [that] His Own glory should be beheld by Jacob... that His form might not be more distinctly seen by Jacob, and much less by any other person... [for the encounter and vision] was meant for Jacob only..."
(God does not let anyone see His Face until the Incarnation, in which He DOES appear in full daylight, AS the TRUE Light.
Had He let Jacob see this "face" more clearly, perhaps he WOULD have died from the evrn partially "unveiled" glory, for God IS Light and mortal eyes cannot comprehend or bear it directly, ever. His departing at dawn was a mercy. It's also symbolic– God only wrestles with us in the dark. When morning comes, the struggle ends. He leaves us as "the angel," and sends us off to ACT ON the blessing He has given. Also, like we said yesterday, it's a private affair. We can glorify God to others by testifying OF the encounter and His grace in it, BUT the wrestling itself will NEVER occur in truth if it is publicized. "Pharisaical" prayer will never enable such an encounter. God works mysteriously, and to grasp that in any way requires our humility. Truthfully, No one else CAN see our most sincere struggles, for they are in our hearts and souls.)

❓"...A survival of the old belief that unearthly visitants of the night must be gone before daybreak."
(Light reveals what is hidden. Light displays the truth. Night is when the human mind is more prone to openness to mystery and hidden things, but it is also vulnerable to deception. So BOTH good and bad spirits are more perceptible at night, both literally and metaphorically? Stars shine brighter in the black. God works greater Power in our darkest times. But when day breaks, we are brought back to earthly life and duty, and we "forget" spiritual things and insights. We "don't see them". Often it takes sufferings and hardships, the shadows of life, to bring us back to awareness of our mortality and the reality beyond the physical. God may be "invisible" during the day (we can be blinded by our own "sparkle" of pride) but when the night falls and we realize our helplessness, our souls instinctively search for the protection of our Father.)
("Must be gone" = divinely ordained "separation" of things; light & shadow, sea & land, etc. Night is a time of dreams & visions, a time of "thin walls" when the blue ceiling above us disappears and the extraterrestrial cosmos itself opens up to human sight. Night is by definition "unearthly." I think we need it, to keep that sense of the greater reality, and for God to nourish and sustain our spiritual side even unconsciously, as we sleep. But it has its set time, as in divine order. Another symbolic point = any hostile spirits "of the dark" are ordered that they "must" depart upon daylight; this refers to Christ, Who is the "Morning Star" and the "Dawn from On High" and the "Eternal Day" and the "Light of Life". When Christ appears, all shadows must flee; all night is ended. Christ comes to save and recreate the Earth too, in His full Plan of Salvation, beginning with us as the adopted Sons of God... and so all "visitors", all spirits and creatures that are NOT of Christ’s New Earth, His New Eden, "must" be gone forever, for the Daybreak is here with us forever.)

⭐‼️ "Jacob had suddenly realized, through the touch of physical suffering, that he was in the grasp of more than mortal power. He neither shrinks, nor desists, but maintains his hold and asks for a blessing."
(SUFFERING (the CROSS) is effectively what awakened him TO the Presence of divinity with him?? SPECIFICALLY that the DIVINITY is Who CAUSED the suffering!! It was not random, nor accidental, nor an assault of evil. God proved He WAS God by injuring Jacob's mortal body, by a mere touch, NOT a violent act or attack. This paradox was somehow Godly. I want to meditate on that more.)
(NOTABLY, Jacob doesn't freak out or get scared or panic over this. He realizes he has just been severely hurt, crippled even, by GOD, and his reaction is NOT to give up, but to hold on even tighter! That's a highly commendable response. Why WOULD you let go of God if you suddenly realized you HAD Him in your very hands??? And why WOULDN'T you dare to ask to be given a blessing, if the Source of every possible one was already letting Himself BE held by you??)

⭐‼️""And the man said, 'Let me go' (literally, "send me away"; meaning that he yielded the victory to Jacob, adding this as a reason for his desire to depart), 'for the day breaketh'... therefore it is time for thee to proceed to other duties, e.g. to meet Esau and appease his anger."
(God is implying He won't leave either, unless Jacob releases Him, and with this shocking permission for authority, "sends Him away"???)
(BUT the "for" suggests God is perhaps saying: "send me away now, release me from your grip, because the dawn is rising (Christ language!), and you no longer need to struggle with me in the shadows; if you cling to me like this, you will not be able to face the day, which is where I will lead you on from here. You must let me go first, and move into the light, for it is time; you are not meant to struggle forever; all prayers will have an answer"??? Something like that. It's that feeling like, "joy comes in the morning.")
(Was this perhaps a subtly "playful" statement of the LORD, if I may call it that? God WANTED to bless him. God LET Jacob "win," implying it by refusing to disengage Himself from the "conqueror" of His Heart. "Send me away," God says, but He doesn't want him to. He only gives permission, so Jacob's refusal to do so is freely chosen. Jacob WANTS to hold on; God's allowing him another option means he doesn't just HAVE to.)
(ALL OTHER SCRIPTURE INSTANCES OF "LET ME GO/ SEND ME AWAY" ARE ATTACHED TO "SO I CAN RETURN TO MY FAMILY/ MY OWN COUNTRY!!! Looking back on the "unearthly spirits" thing, is this ALSO an omniscient "play on words" suggesting to Jacob that they BOTH had to "return to their family & native land"?? Like, yes we can be together in the dark (like lovers even), BUT now with the daylight, we each have our "states of life" to attend to– you to your brother and the land of your fathers, and Me to LEAD YOU THERE??? But ONLY once you "release me" so I can return to MY "native place" (heaven) with my "Family" (united Trinity, in contrast to the apparent "singular" of this form), and thus be ABLE to accompany and guide you"??? Feelings of "noli me tangere." God won't let us keep Him in a box, or in our grip, for longer than He wills. But when we "send Him away" it is not rejection, but releasing, at His Own request and enabling, and our humble acquiescence– instead of trying to "keep Him to ourselves"– is itself an act of humility & surrendering trust. BUT. God blesses us before He goes, IF WE ASK. It's like kissing someone goodbye, when you don't know them too closely yet (Jacob didn't!). God is "too much of a gentleman to assume"? He waits for us to ask first, but He never refuses it; He wants to "kiss us" more than we know, and He gives us every opportunity to let Him. But we have to ASK, because God wants us to confess our hearts in the process.)
‼️‼️ ORIGINAL BLESSING CONTEXT= "Then his father Isaac said to him, “Please come close and kiss me, my son.”"!!!

➕SUDDEN INSPIRATION AT NONE???

⭐‼️💜"Lord Jesus... for us you went down to the realm of death and became free of death...  you chose to suffer and be overwhelmed by death in order to open the gates of death in triumph. Stay with us to help us on our pilgrimage; free us from all evil by the power of your resurrection..."
(God "meets us where we're at," just like He met Jacob, right in the depths of death & darkness & distress, BUT He does so IN ORDER TO FREE US FROM IT. God "lets Himself be overwhelmed" IN our wrestling, by our sobbing prayers of pain, suffering WITH us in them, IN ORDER TO "OPEN THE GATES OF DEATH" and triumph WITH us, IN us!!)

⭐‼️"Will your wonders be known in the dark...? As for me, Lord, I call to you for help: in the morning my prayer comes before you. Lord, why do you reject me? Why do you hide your face?... your terrors have utterly destroyed me. They surround me all the day like a flood... Friend and neighbour you have taken away: my one companion is darkness."
(Jacob WOULDN'T have seen the ANSWER to his prayers IF HE STAYED IN THE DARK = if he stayed in that state of "wrestling" longer than was necessary? Once the light comes, he must meet the light with prayer?)
("Reject me"= "send me away"?? "Hide your face"= won't let Jacob see Him clearly? But this is misinterpreted as negative; in fact God is acting with LOVE in His "delayed answer" and "hiding Himself"; we just don't understand that in our pain.)
("Flood of terrors"= the "poured out" name of Jabbok, and the probable death waiting on the other side.)
("Taken away"= left alone on this side, with only the stranger IN the darkness for a companion. What beautiful strange irony. God is still with us there, just hidden, just silent, just dark.)

⭐⭐‼️‼️"Jacob now clearly recognized his mysterious Antagonist to be Divine, and sought to obtain from Him the blessing which he had previously stolen from his aged father by craft."
(His mind IMMEDIATELY GOES THERE. His heart KNOWS this is his only chance to atone for his sin, and set things right.)
(A stolen blessing isn't "legitimate" morally, even if it was "promised" to him in the womb. He still tried to "get it by his OWN power and means," LIKE ABRAHAM DID WITH ISHMAEL AT FIRST. So, also like Abraham, Jacob had to be SORELY TESTED and had to "LOSE ALL HIS OWN POWER TO BE BLESSED" before GOD ALONE COULD BLESS HIM. They both had to be brought to a breaking point of total surrendered obedience, to do things on GOD'S terms, despite all costs to themselves? Mountain and river moments. THAT'S when BOTH their "new names" were merited, although Abraham's had been given earlier– it just needed to be PROVEN in the very FAITH of what it meant from God ("father of nations", but only through Isaac)! But the point is that, you can't force the blessing, AND the blessing is apparently ALSO ATTACHED TO THE NAME?? Jacob's name is RATIFIED three chapters LATER when he RETURNS to Bethel, where he FIRST met God on the Ladder, and God had PROMISED TO BLESS HIM, SPECIFICALLY WITH ABRAHAM'S BLESSING!! THAT IS THE REAL INHERITANCE, and it ONLY COMES SOVEREIGNLY FROM GOD. Isaac's blessing was for harvest and military might, for superior status in the family, and for curses on enemies. These were patriarchal blessings, thereby human and temporary, although nevertheless authorized and effected solely by God.  BUT the DIVINE PROMISE, the SALVATION PLAN, is a PROMISE OF LAND and OFFSPRING and GLOBAL BLESSING. No one can bestow or invoke those gifts but God Himself! Jacob couldn't steal, slip, sneak, or manipulate it out of God's Hands. He couldn't grab the heel of his LORD... only the hem of His wrestling robes. God's blessings are only received through our absolute faith that, against all odds, God WILL give what He HAS promised us. And God HAD promised Jacob the Abrahamic blessing at Bethel, when they first met. Desperate as he was, and recognizing the very God that had assured him of His protection, Jacob insists on... oh my gosh. Jacob INSISTED BECAUSE HE RECOGNIZED GOD, WHO HAD SAID TO HIM AT THE BETHEL BLESSING, "I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED GIVING YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE PROMISED YOU"!!!! I DIDN'T REALIZE THE PARALLEL PHRASING!!!
So when God says "send me away," He's actually ALSO HINTING AT THIS; He's simultaneously refusing to leave, and BY that refusal REMINDING JACOB OF THE PROMISED BLESSING!! God IS being "playful" here!! And Jacob CATCHES ON. "I WON'T let go until you bless me"= "you're not finished with ME yet either!!" "You PROMISED me this land and countless descendants and said You'd make ME a blessing to the world! I'm nowhere near that; I'm near death! But You PROMISED and I'm putting every last ounce of my hope in that. Listen, the last time I saw my brother, I had stolen his blessing. That promise didn't belong to me. So now that I'm finally going to see him again, I need to set things right... with him AND with you. I need my own blessing, the only one I have any right to hope for– the one You alone have guaranteed." Etc. "I won't let go until you bless me" because his asking for one in this broken humbled position is atoning for his initial stealing one in clever pride?? I feel that "restitution" aspect HAS TO play into this scene. He wouldn't be asking, if he wasn't haunted by the taking.)
(I wonder how much led up to this that we don't know? Perhaps his wrestling prayers WERE ABOUT THAT STOLEN BLESSING. Maybe he had been sobbing all night to God about his bitter regrets and sharp worries and immediate terrors, all sprung from that one fateful day when he stood disguised before his father and claimed a different name. More divine irony. Not Esau, but no longer Jacob either. Isaac held him until he blessed him, too. Maybe Jacob was thinking of all those things, and telling them to God, and we're only here seeing the conclusion of a long and heartfelt night's worth of contrite repentance.)
("I won't leave you until I've done all that I've promised you." "I won't leave YOU until you follow through with that!"
( "send me away, it's morning" callback to WAKING FROM THE LADDER DREAM??? God wryly suggesting "if you feel this is but a dream, then let it be as such to you"?? "If you want to go forwards on your own still, you can"?? Even so, as I said, intimating that He wouldn't just leave him, specifically unblessed; He had promised not to!! God was "setting Jacob up" TO be blessed by doing this? I feel like God does this a LOT, when we start to forget or doubt what He HAS promised. He puts us in a position where we not only remember, but we are almost driven to AFFIRM the Promise given, even ASK for it OURSELVES now!!!! We HADN'T asked for it at first!! NOW, GOD IS GIVING US THE OPPORTUNITY TO RESPOND, "YES, I WANT THAT BLESSING!!" AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY, "YES, I TRUST YOU WILL GIVE IT TO ME!!" because you can want but not trust!! AND some have suggested that Jacob DIDN'T fully trust at first= "IF God will indeed be with me and protect me on this journey," etc.!! That's a CONDITIONAL STATEMENT!! HE DIDN'T HAVE STRONG FAITH YET; God had only JUST INTRODUCED Himself!!! Now, at the Jabbok, this turning point where the promises seemed to pale in the face of death, Jacob sought the Face of God in response through wrestling-prayers and wrenching tears no doubt, recognizing that his only hope in the universe was the reliability of the God Who had MADE the Promise. "ARE you trustworthy?" Perhaps he was wondering, chastened by the very concept. "After all, I surely haven't been. So can I trust anyone else to deal trustworthily with me, if I'm not worthy OF being trusted BY others?" Did he feel frightened by this possibility of despair? Did he, even momentarily, think of therefore "stealing" these promises too? and THAT'S what plunged him headlong into his shattering contrition? He wrestled because he was tired of doing everything behind people's backs. Now, he was facing Everything head-on, face to face, up close and personal. He wouldn't weasel out of this anymore, especially if this was his last chance to finally act with justice and honesty. He had a family now, and he wanted to be an honorable man, a righteous father. He wanted to be worthy of those promises God had made. Facing death at the Jabbok, he made up his mind– He wanted the promises– not for his own sake anymore, but for the sake of his family... for his people.  Deep down, his name was already changing. And God just set the stage for Jacob himself to have the honor of effectuating it.) 


⭐‼️"it was not a natural or corporeal wrestling, [nor was it merely] a dream or vision... but a "real conflict of both mind and body, a work of the spirit with intense effort of the body", in which Jacob was lifted up into a highly elevated condition of body and mind resembling that of ecstasy, through the medium of the manifestation of God. "

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "In a merely outward conflict, it is impossible to conquer through prayers and tears... [nevertheless, Hosea attests that this was no phantasm. The] outward conflict of bodily wrestling, and the spiritual conflict with prayer and tears, are [not] opposed to one another [nor] spiritually distinct, [for to claim such a severance would contradict] the meaning of the narrative and the interpretation of the prophet Hosea. Since Jacob still continued his resistance, even after his hip had been put out of joint, and would not let Him go till He had blessed him, it CANNOT be said that it was NOT till all hope of maintaining the conflict by bodily strength was taken from him, that he [finally] had recourse to the weapon of prayer... [Hosea] did not regard the weeping and supplication as occurring after the wrestling, or as only a second element, which was subsequently added to the corporeal struggle. Hosea evidently looked upon the weeping and supplication as the distinguishing feature in the conflict, without thereby excluding the corporeal wrestling."

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "At the same time, by connecting this event with what took place at the birth of the twins, the prophet teaches that Jacob merely completed, BY his wrestling with God, what he had already BEEN engaged in even from his mother's womb, viz., his striving for the birthright; in other words, for the possession of the covenant promise and the covenant blessing. This meaning is also indicated by the circumstances under which the event took place. Jacob had wrested the blessing of the birthright from his brother Esau; but it was by cunning and deceit, and he had been obliged to flee from his wrath in consequence. And now that he desired to return to the land of promise and his father's house, and to ENTER UPON the inheritance PROMISED him IN his father's blessing; Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men, which filled him with great alarm. As he felt too weak to enter upon a conflict with him, he prayed to the covenant God for deliverance from the hand of his brother, and the fulfilment of the covenant promises. The answer of God to this prayer WAS the present wrestling with God, in which he was victorious indeed, but not without carrying the marks of it all his life long in the dislocation of his thigh.

⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️"Jacob's great fear of Esau's wrath and vengeance, which he could not suppress notwithstanding the divine revelations at Bethel and Mahanaim, had its foundation in his evil conscience, in the consciousness of the sin connected with his wilful and treacherous appropriation of the blessing of the first-born.
To save him from the hand of his brother, it was necessary that GOD should first meet him AS AN ENEMY, and show him that his REAL opponent was GOD HIMSELF, and that he must first of all overcome HIM before he could hope to overcome his brother.
And Jacob overcame God; not with the power of the flesh however, with which he had hitherto wrestled for God against man, but by the power of faith and prayer, reaching by firm hold of God even to the point of being blessed, by which he proved himself to be a true wrestler of God, who fought with God and with men, i.e., who BY his wrestling with God overcame men as well. And whilst by the dislocation of his hip the carnal nature of his previous wrestling was declared to be powerless and wrong, he received in the new name of Israel the prize of victory, and at the same time, directions from God how he was henceforth to strive for the cause of the Lord."

⭐⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️‼️"By his wrestling with God, Jacob entered upon a new stage in his life. As a sign of this, he received a new name, which indicated, as the result of this conflict, the nature of his new relation to God. But whilst Abram and Sarai, from the time when God changed their names (Genesis 17:5 and Genesis 17:15), are always called by their new names; in the history of Jacob we find the old name used interchangeably with the new. "For the first two names denoted a change into a new and permanent position, effected and intended by the will and promise of God; consequently the old names were entirely abolished. But the name Israel denoted a spiritual state determined by faith; and in Jacob's life the natural state, determined by flesh and blood, still continued to stand side by side with this. Jacob's new name was transmitted to his descendants, however, who were called Israel as the covenant nation. For as the blessing of their forefather's conflict came down to them as a spiritual inheritance, so did they also enter upon the duty of preserving this inheritance by continuing in a similar conflict."


⭐⭐💜 "Whatever enemies we have, if we can but make God our friend, we are sufficiently safe and happy: they that, by faith, have power in heaven, have thereby as much power on earth as they have need of."
(GOD HIMSELF becomes our strength and our song!)

⭐⭐‼️"And he said unto him, What is thy name? (not as if requiring to be informed, but as directing attention to it in view of the change about to be made upon it)"
(Oh this is STRIKINGLY RELEVANT to my life and the System.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ "Esau had given a bad meaning to the name of Jacob, nor had it been undeserved. But a change has now come over Jacob’s character, and he is henceforth no longer the crafty schemer who was ever plotting for his own advantage, but one humble and penitent, who CAN trust himself and all he has in GOD’S Hands."
(...this is exactly what happened to us with SLC & CNC. Our names were utterly scandalized & destroyed but we deserved it. ...and yet, a change has come to us now, too, at last.)

⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️""What is thy name?" He reminds him of his former self, Jacob, the supplanter, the self-reliant, self-seeking. But now he is disabled, dependent on another, and seeking a blessing from another, and for ALL OTHERS as well as himself. No more Jacob shall thy name be called, but Israel– a prince of God, in God, with God. In a personal conflict, depending on thyself, thou wert no match for God. But in prayer, depending on another [GOD], thou HAST prevailed, with God and with men. The new name is indicative of the new nature which has now come to its perfection of development in Jacob. Unlike Abraham, who received his new name once for all, and was never afterward called by the former one, Jacob will hence, be called now by the one and now by the other, as the occasion may serve. For he was called from the womb Genesis 25:23, and both names have a spiritual significance for two different aspects of the child of God, according to the apostle's paradox, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God that worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure".
(IS THIS WHY GOD WON'T LET US ABANDON OUR OLD NAMES EITHER???)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️""Disclose to me thy nature. This mysterious Being intimates by his reply that Jacob was to learn his nature, so far as he yet required to know it, from the event that had just occurred; and he was well acquainted with his name. And He blessed him there. He had the power of disabling the self-sufficient creature, of upholding that creature when unable to stand, of answering prayer, of conferring a new name, with a new phase of spiritual life, and of blessing with a physical renovation, and with spiritual capacity FOR being a blessing to mankind. After all this, Jacob could not any longer doubt who He was."


⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️There are, then, three acts in this dramatic scene: first, Jacob wrestling with the Omnipresent in the form of a man, in which he is signally defeated; second, Jacob importunately supplicating Yahweh, in which he prevails as a prince of God; third, Jacob receiving the blessing of a new name, a new development of spiritual life, and a new capacity for bodily action."


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️"The old name was not to be abandoned; but, referring as it did to a dishonorable part of the patriarch's history, it was to be associated with another descriptive of his now sanctified and eminently devout character."
(Oh wow this hits hard. The black backdrop only serves to glorify the Light of God now manifest.)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐‼️"By metonymy, for the posterity of Israel i. e. the Israelites (a name of especially honor because it made reference to the promises of salvation through the Messiah, which were given to Jacob in preference to Esau, and to be fulfilled to his posterity... not all those that draw their bodily descent from Israel are true Israelites, i. e. are those whom God pronounces to be Israelites and has chosen to salvation."

⭐⭐⭐ Acts 3:25-26 = ""...You [Israel] are the descendants of the prophets and the heirs of the promise that God made to our ancestors when he said to Abraham, 'Through your descendant all people on earth will be blessed.' ...When God raised up His servant, Jesus, He sent Him first to you people of Israel, to bless you BY/IN turning every one of you back to Him/ away from your sins & iniquities.”


⭐‼️""[God sent Jesus to you] TO bless you..." [or rather, "God]sent Him as IN the very act OF blessing". The verb "bless", which strictly and commonly expresses a spoken benediction, is here used in a secondary sense, as conveying the reality OF blessedness."
(Jesus's very Presence blesses; the very sending of Him to you IS a blessing. Jesus "cannot NOT bless"??? He's always "in the very act of blessing" by virtue of His Divinity and inherent Grace? Like ALL His actions bless others, Inevitably)

⭐⭐‼️ "...the blessing [given by Christ] is found, not in mere exemption from punishment, not even in pardon and reconciliation, but in a change of heart, in “turning each man from [all] his wickednesses"... from all the many concrete forms in which man’s wickedness could show itself."
(Jacob demanding a blessing= His divinely ordained name change SIGNALED THIS change in him!!)
(The exemption + pardon + reconciliation ARE OFFERED PERPETUALLY IN CHRIST CRUCIFIED, BUT HE REPEATEDLY EMPHASIZES THAT WITHOUT A CHANGE OF HEART, WE CANNOT RECEIVE THOSE GRACES!! We need to have FAITH in His atoning Sacrifice for us, and THAT is IMPOSSIBLE with an unrepentant heart!!! So how DO we repent, and turn away from ALL our iniquities? SOLELY BY GRACE. Look at my brother Dismas. We can't willpower our way into salvation OR conversion, and the two are intrinsically linked. God sends Christ to ALL of us; HE is our ONLY AND TRUE BLESSING. He is the treasure-house of ALL goodness. So... when Jacob was blessed, it was Inevitably given BY Christ, through grace, and received in humility. Thus the blessing changed his heart, and changed his name as a sign– Christ’s blessing turned him from the sinful ways of his old name. This is a symbolic picture of what happens to Christians today, who become "Spiritual Israel"?)

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

While she was there, weeping, she saw her beloved, and then told the good news to the others.* Blessed is she who deserved to be first with the news that Life had risen from death.


We should reflect on Mary’s attitude and the great love she felt for Christ; for though the disciples had left the tomb, she remained. She was still seeking the one she had not found, and while she sought she wept; burning with the fire of love, she longed for him who she thought had been taken away. And so it happened that the woman who stayed behind to seek Christ was the only one to see him. For perseverance is essential to any good deed, as the voice of truth tells us: Whoever perseveres to the end will be saved.
    At first she sought but did not find, but when she persevered it happened that she found what she was looking for. When our desires are not satisfied, they grow stronger, and becoming stronger they take hold of their object. Holy desires likewise grow with anticipation, and if they do not grow they are not really desires. Anyone who succeeds in attaining the truth has burned with such a great love. As David says: My soul has thirsted for the living God; when shall I come and appear before the face of God? And so also in the Song of Songs the Church says: I was wounded by love; and again: My soul is melted with love.
    Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek? She is asked why she is sorrowing so that her desire might be strengthened; for when she mentions whom she is seeking, her love is kindled all the more ardently.
    Jesus says to her: Mary. Jesus is not recognised when he calls her “woman”; so he calls her by name, as though he were saying: Recognise me as I recognise you; for I do not know you as I know others; I know you as yourself. And so Mary, once addressed by name, recognises who is speaking. She immediately calls him rabboni, that is to say, teacher, because the one whom she sought outwardly was the one who inwardly taught her to keep on searching.



Happy the man who meditates on wisdom,
    and reasons with good sense.
She will give him the bread of understanding to eat,
    and the water of wisdom to drink.


The Song of Songs is a collection of playful love-songs between young lovers. The ancient rabbis who determined the Hebrew canon of scripture included them in the Bible as an image of the ardent love between the Lord and Israel. It is a useful reminder that our love for God is nothing cool, abstract and artificial, but needs to be as passionate, absorbing and embracing as any human love.


Salvation is not achieved by this knowledge of the earthly Jesus. The message of the gospel makes sense only in the light of the Resurrection. The Risen Christ is the firstborn from the dead, and his Resurrection is the model for ours. This is the ultimate answer to Job’s question: whatever sorrows earthly life may bring, if we are baptised into Christ’s death, we will also share his Resurrection. We already share Christ’s life and are being transformed into him. The life we are experiencing now is only a preparation for its fulfilment in Christ’s Resurrection.


The love of Christ overwhelms us when we reflect that if one man has died for all, then all men should be dead; and the reason he died for all was so that living men should live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised to life for them.


We know that when the tent that we live in on earth is folded up, there is a house built by God for us, an everlasting home not made by human hands, in the heavens. In this present state, it is true, we groan as we wait with longing to put on our heavenly home over the other; we should like to be found wearing clothes and not without them. Yes, we groan and find it a burden being still in this tent, not that we want to strip it off, but to put the second garment over it and to have what must die taken up into life. This is the purpose for which God made us, and he has given us the pledge of the Spirit.




072125

Jul. 21st, 2025 08:50 pm
ieroaima: (Default)
 

Bad night again
95 pounds???
Feel sick all the time now

PSALM 73 consolation


Google maps TRAUMA FORCING????
Flashbacks and Sobbing uncontrollably for like TWO HOURS.
Canceled the nun call. Told her WHY.

90m biking, body starving for it
But also triggering flight response Flashbacks

OCD hell in bathroom, no surprise. Sobbing helpless there too

God this cross is so heavy. Please help me carry it better.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐‼️ "...The Son of God in the form of man, prevailed not against Jacob, by casting him to the ground, or causing him to desist and leave off wrestling with him; not because he could not, but because he would not, being willing to encourage the faith of Jacob against future trials and exercises [of that faith], and especially under his present one. Besides, such were the promises that this Divine Person knew were made to Jacob, and so strong was Jacob's faith at this time in pleading those promises in prayer TO God, that, consistent with those very purposes and promises, the Divine wrestler could not do otherwise than suffer Himself to be prevailed over by him."
(To reiterate clearly for myself = God doesn't ever "throw us to the ground" when we engage with Him. God never tells us to "stop wrestling with Me," to "give up already," or to "give the prayers a break" like humans say to us. God never does this because He wants us to "exercise" our faith, and that requires sustained inner exertion & even painful effort; we need to "break a spiritual sweat" as it were, or we won't get stronger as our opponents do. God wrestles with us for as long as He knows we need to, never cutting it short or treating our striving casually or carelessly, never looking down on our inexperience or patronizing us. He is the best possible Teacher, the strongest possible Trainer, and He WANTS us to take FULL ADVANTAGE of that fact by sparring it out in fervent prayer consistently and enthusiastically, even desperately. But He LOVES and ENCOURAGES this. It's VITAL to BOTH our success as His soldiers, AND to our closeness as His beloveds!)
(God always keeps His Promises, but He nevertheless desires us to cling to them in zealous hope & steadfast trust. To "take them for granted" is terribly entitled & ungrateful, and may ultimately even merit dire punishment despite the promise still standing. Remember Israel in the wilderness? God still gave them Canaan, as He promised, but NOT to the faithless generation! Instead, THEY should have done what Jacob did– in their weak & mortal human fear and doubt and grief, they should have "cast those cares entirely upon the LORD"– Who they KNEW cared for them by His miraculous PROOFS of Love all throughout their wilderness wanderings– and wrestled with Him in prayer about it. Even terrified prayer, even furious prayer, even weeping prayer– God WANTS to hear what your heart is REALLY feeling!! He WANTS to wrestle with you, and He WON'T ever throw you down or out or aside or away!! He will gladly "dance" with you all night in that grappling embrace if you need to. Just don't let go of Him. Don't give up or give in! God won't let you lose! You have everything to GAIN when you're in His intimate grip! Why? Because you're wrestling on the grounds of HIS PROMISES. He said, "I WILL give you the Promised Land." But you fear the giants, you fear the unknown, you fear your own littleness and weakness in comparison to the nations nearby. You cannot see how the Promise is possible... all you CAN do is decide to fling all hopes for yourself and your future onto God. All you can do is choose to put your faith in Him so blindly that it feels like jumping off a cliff backwards. All you can do is TRUST that His Promise rests IN His Omnipotence and Omniscience and that no matter what earthly things appear to oppose it, the Will of the LORD your God stands invincible. THAT'S when you are ready to wrestle. These acts of spiritual surrender don't ever come easy in the face of real physical threats and terrors. That's natural, and humbling, and an impetus to implore more grace. You have to commit to trust, but then you have to struggle to conquer through it. The adversary won't quit fighting YOU, either; he won't quit assailing you with his lies of doubt and distrust! But you cannot defeat him alone– only your Master can. So don't even try to take out the devil; instead, start praying— start WRESTLING WITH GOD, because THAT'S where the victory is won! You HAVE to FIGHT FIRST, and FIGHT WORTHILY, before you can rightly gain the prize, after all, even if it HAS been promised to you! God doesn't merely "let you win"– He's giving you a proper throwdown, to prove your prayerful fighting spirit, and encourage you to persist in your virtuous efforts! In fact, the wrestling-prayer ITSELF is the very MEANS of your reward; the Holy combat paradoxically IS the very blessing you need in order TO fight on in the future! You wouldn't BE wrestling if you weren't convinced you WOULD be blessed! That determined and devoted perseverance into the dark hours is HOW your faith bulks up. That's HOW you learn the shape of God more closely, and are more closely shaped to be like Him. That's HOW you get through the night, and across the River, and into the daylight of the Promised Land... leaving the shadows– and your old life– behind.)
(Lastly, don't ever forget = God wins in us, by letting us "win over Him"... or rather, we "win Him over," like a loving Father to His scared but believing child. He already told us He will bless us, and deliver us, and stay with us, but when we run to Him despite our haunting fears and insistently plead His reassurance, that imploring unflagging faith in HIS faithfulness, despite our dread, moves Him to deeper mercy... and even if all we can do is cling to Him helplessly, He will hold us tightly to Himself, and we will not be lost.)
(I may have said all this before. Still, I needed a reminder today.)

⭐‼️ "The "victory" Jacob got over the Divine Person was not by his own strength, but by divine assistance, and by the sufferance of the One he wrestled with; so that he had nothing to boast of."
(God helps us TO pray so avidly. "We do not know how to pray as we ought"; "The SPIRIT intercedes FOR us", etc. Mortal man has no inherent spiritual strength; just read Romans 7! All the good we do is by grace. That's why we can only "win" a wrestling match with God BECAUSE it's with God. His very involvement, our very engagement with Him, is the channel of grace that gives us strength to struggle at ALL.)
(OH BY THE WAY, REMEMBER GOD STARTED IT. So attach that to the precious exhortation too. When we are afraid & tempted to doubt God's Promises to us, and still decide to trust in God, we enter a "fight" against the fear BY that very decision, BUT!! It is GOD Who has started the battle, as it BANKS ON HIS PROMISES, and our very ability TO trust Him IS BY GRACE. If we rely on sheer willpower for our "trust" WE WILL FAIL, because that secretly shifts the object of our trust to OURSELF. We would become PROUD that WE had the "power to resist" doubts. Except we don't. Our trust has to be ENTIRELY IN GOD to follow through. We end up wrestling with demons instead of the LORD, whenever we focus on "being strong in ourselves," on being Jacobs, cunning and resourceful heel-grabbers who "make it work" ourselves. If we say "God promised" and then try to make that promise happen OUR way, we're not wrestling at all. I'm way off-topic. The point I need to deliver is = God always makes the first move, even if it seems like we've thrown the initial punch in a desperate prayer... or in angry shouting, or in sobbing uncontrollably, or in terrified begging. But no, God has already laid His Hand on our heart, FOR us to do so. He works mysteriously, appearing out of nowhere, in the dark, unannounced... and suddenly we're locking limbs. The whole time He plans to "give us the victory," but He orchestrates the whole combative dance, and in His humility limits His Own infinite strength to meet ours. We have nothing to credit ourselves for in the entire process, except maybe the doubts that drove us there– which the LORD knew we would struggle with anyway. But our desire TO trust despite doubt necessarily involves His grace. So He set us up to succeed, to grow our virtues through trial, to meet faith's opposition on the front lines. The good fight is what makes us really Christians.)

"...it teaches the weakness and infirmities of the saints, that attend them in their spiritual conflicts."
(Inevitably. But I like the word "attend"; the dictionary defines it as "to take care of; minister to; devote one's services to; to wait upon; accompany as a companion or servant; to watch over; look after; tend; guard"... so that is thought provoking. If we are God's saints, THEN when we are in spiritual warfare, by grace even our very infirmities will serve us, and minister to us, and look after us. How so? They keep us humble, for one.
...)


⭐‼️💜 "For God assails His people with the one Hand, and upholds them with the other."
("He hurts, but also heals." I actually love that about God so much. It means that even my wounds at His Hand are acts of Love, and nothing painful can happen to me that isn't accompanied by His mercy and goodness. God is the ONLY One Who directs all things, and so I can trust His decisions entirely for my welfare and salvation and His Glory (which is my highest joy); I can put all my hope in Him, "even if He slay me.")


⭐⭐‼️‼️ ""Let me go" — ...by an admirable condescension, God speaks to Jacob as He did to Moses, Exodus 32:10, "Let Me alone," and that [likewise] to show the prevalency of his prayer with God, and also to encourage him to persist in the conflict. 
(That's an AMAZING parallel. Exodus 32 has Moses basically "wrestling" with God too, in his earnest argument-prayer on behalf of Israel, and God indeed "let him prevail over Him"!)
⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️💜💜 (PULPIT COMMENTARY AGREES BTW= "Moses has three pleas wherewith he "wrestles with God"... 1. Israel is God's people, for whom He has done so much that surely He will not now destroy them, and so undo His own work; 2. Egypt will be triumphant if Israel is swept away, and will misapprehend the Divine action... 3. The promises made to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, which had received a partial fulfilment, would seem to be revoked and withdrawn if the nation already formed were destroyed..." I FEEL THIS IS AN APPLICABLE PATTERN FOR ALL OUR CHRISTIAN WRESTLING. We belong to God, Who has helped us so much already; if God does not save us then the enemy will rejoice against Him; God HAS made promises to us that are not yet fulfilled, and we CAN plead those. What promises? Honestly I NEED to make a LIST because I literally DIDN'T KNOW GOD MADE PROMISES TO BELIEVERS until barely two years ago. I thought He only promised things to the Patriarchs. But no, apparently there ARE New Covenant Promises and as a Baptized Christian they apparently stunningly DO apply to me???  But offhand, I don't know what they are... so I cannot wrestle. No wonder my faith is weak and my prayers confused. I'm "shadowboxing" without a direct aim and motivation. I NEED to know WHAT GOD HAS PROMISED TO GIVE ME TO FIGHT FOR. I need that PURPOSE! I need God to lay His Hands on me, to clasp me close in combat, and tangle with me all night. I'm serious. God knows I have a fighting spirit and I feel most loved in that context. So I think I'm spiritually predisposed to pray like a warrior, and Lord knows I WANT to. I just can't yet, because I don't have the proper training or weaponry? I NEED to know Scripture better; I MUST learn God's Promises. Then I can use them to pray powerfully, by God's grace, for my salvation and the salvation of many others. I hope so. God correct me if I'm wrong. Holy Spirit guide me in all of this; it is only possible with & through You.)


⭐‼️‼️ ""For the day breaketh" — Therefore he would not any longer detain Jacob, who had business to do, a family to look after, a journey to take. 
(As a scrupulous person, this hits hard. There is a proper time even for prayer. We can wrestle all night, but in the morning, we have other holy responsibilities. And yes, Holy! Prayer isn't the sole means of sanctification; we can sanctify our everyday chores and duties too, by consecrating them to God! "Ora ET Labora!" God will NOT "make us" pray longer than is proper & prudent to our situation & state in life; if we obstinately persist in it AFTER God tells us "enough," and redirects us to service, then our prayer becomes just a proud flexing, and hinders our charity for others, and it is no longer of any benefit to anyone.)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️‼️ ""I will not let thee go except thou bless me" — He resolves he will have a blessing, and rather shall all his bones be put out of joint than he will suffer the angel to leave him without a blessing. Those who would be blessed by Christ, and have His salvation, must be in good earnest and importunate for it. Reader, art thou so? Dost thou pray and not faint?"
(I'm too cowardly? I am so keenly aware of my unworthiness that I often let it override His mercy. It's terrifying. )
Do I want it? More than anything. I NEED it.
But I'm not allowed to want things, that's selfish and demanding.
But Christ wants you TO want it. He wants you to be saved!
Wouldn't He get mad at me for being importunate? I have no right to ask anything of Him, especially not so crassly.
He likes when you ask Him. It shows you trust Him to give it. And that you trust that He CAN give it and WANTS to and WILL if you ask. Also, God does NOT ask trick questions or "set you up." I know people do that to you. But Jesus would never ask you "do you want this?" In order to shout "aha! Gotcha!" And punish you when you say "yes," Because you "weren't supposed to want it" and the asking was a trap. God NEVER does that. Only the devil tricks people.
So... my "demanding" a blessing isn't going to get me a slap in the face and locked in the dungeon? And then barred from blessings forevermore as just deserts for my brazen rudeness?
Why would God do that? Do you not realize He WANTS to bless you, more than you even want to BE blessed? He's practically looking for excuses to shower you with graces.
...That kind of gracious generous love is nearly incomprehensible. No wonder He's God.
Yes, and not a fallen human. So stop judging Him by mortal standards. Even so, remember the fishes and eggs. God is the Giver of all good gifts. He can't help but be generous. He won't get offended if you ask.
But that's taking advantage of His generosity! That's assuming He'll bless a wretch like me! That's pride!
Why would you ask for a blessing?
...Because I'm a wretch. Because I NEED His blessing in order to be good at all. I don't want a "blessing" like gifts or toys or that sort of thing. I want a "blessing" of virtue, to help me stop being bad.
And that's pride?
...
God will give you that blessing if you have faith that He not only can, but WILL give it, out of Love and not begrudgingly... and then you must believe that you have received it. That second part is the hard part for you. But it's faith all the way down. If you trust that He CAN bless, but then don't let yourself BE blessed, you're still offending His Goodness by preventing it from taking effect. THAT'S where pride is coming in.
Wait it offends God for me to... refuse His blessing oh man that IS hurtful. I am so sorry.
He knows. Just go to Him and tell Him you're struggling. Go wrestle lightly, as it were. Tussle just a bit. But let yourself be held, in the only way you know how. It'll bear fruit, it always does.)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "Jacob was aware of the character of Him with whom he wrestled; and, believing that His Power, though by far superior to human, was yet limited by His promise to do him good, he determined not to lose the golden opportunity of securing a blessing. And nothing gives God greater pleasure than to see the hearts of His people firmly adhering to Him."
(God's GOODNESS limits His Power??? At least in the sense that God won't crush us or overwhelm us or destroy us! And as we ARE still unworthy sinners, God has EVERY RIGHT to do so, if He so wishes. But He doesn't. He instead PROMISES to deliver us, and redeem us, and sanctify us, and save us. He PROMISES the very things that would PREVENT His dreadful Power from falling upon us! More than anything, He Promises us LIFE, and simultaneously, MERCY. "I WILL lead you out of this wasteland." "I WILL make of you a great nation." "I WILL NOT leave you or forsake you." "I WILL restore Israel" NEVERTHELESS, He ALSO promises, "I WILL punish sin." "I WILL act with justice." "I WILL destroy the evildoers." Even so, there is unfailing goodness= "I WILL spare the repentant." "I WILL turn away my wrath if you return to Me." Et cetera. God does not want anyone to die, but He must destroy sin. So He ACTS PREVENTATIVELY and He BLESSES us and gives us GRACE so we CAN repent and do good and LIVE! And that GOODNESS is God's REAL Power, the very same Power evidenced in Christ Crucified– the Power of MAKING HIMSELF WEAK in order to empower US, who admit our innate weakness, WITH HIS STRENGTH. And that's apparently happening here with Jacob. God humbled Himself in weakness, so that Jacob– once he was made both humble and weak by his dislocated hip– could work His Greater Power in blessing Him, now that Jacob was in a faithfully receptive state!)
(Jacob KNEW GOD'S CHARACTER; and THAT is what emboldened him to demand a blessing?? This was the very same God Who had blessed his fathers, and he had INHERITED those Promises!! Not only that, but I'm thinking there's actually something proud and ungrateful about recognizing God and NOT Imploring His favor somehow?? Like it feels instinctive to at least beg for mercy and forgiveness and grace. And THOSE ARE BLESSINGS.  They aren't "owed"! But we NEED them to be who God WANTS us to be; we CANNOT do do on our own; we are weak and broken; our asking for blessing therefore HONORS GOD as the SOLE SOURCE OF BLESSINGS, AND IS COMPASSIONATE AND GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO GIVE THEM!)
(Jacob's heart "firmly adhered to God" BY HIS ASKING. Again, this is all new and groundbreaking to me. His "stubbornly trusting" demand– it really wasn't a request; he said "I WON'T let go UNTIL you bless me"; he didn't make any space for alternatives, which also proved his adherence– proved in its very vehemence that Jacob knew he had nowhere else TO turn, that no one else COULD bless, that God was his ONLY hope, and most importantly, that God was his SURE AND CERTAIN hope. In a word, "if you don't bless me, I will therefore keep my grip on you until I die." What other future did he have, if he left GOD HIMSELF without obtaining a blessing?? To see God IS to die, otherwise!! Yet even besides that, Jacob knew He was a God Who made Covenants. He was a God Who HAD historically blessed His people. Jacob was in great need; why shouldn't he ask? No idol could help, no man could help, he couldn't help himself! So of course his heart adhered to God. BUT IT HADN'T ALWAYS, that's the key. Jacob HAD been self-reliant for decades. Only now, utterly crippled and exhausted, feeling his mortal impotence with a new and definitive immediacy, with nothing left in the world but his very LORD grasped in his desperate fists, did he have a crushed and humbled enough heart TO hold on to Him so, both literally and figuratively. He only asked now because he could no longer fight for it. Hence the TRUE meaning of spiritual wrestling. If we're trying to "wrestle a blessing OUT of God's Hands" by our own power and will and wit, or anything else of ourselves, we're doomed to tussle at a tie until God touches our hip. It always comes down to that, unless we go in knowing we're already disabled. When we wrestle Him in earnest, the POINT is to EXHAUST OURSELVES in the same way a good workout exhausts you. You're AIMING at the end of your own strength. THAT'S the "victory"; that's when you know your muscles will grow! And with God, wrestling until you can't do anything but hold on for dear life is when you've PROVEN that you aren't going to go anywhere else for a blessing! You've poured yourself out at His Feet, in His Arms! And THAT'S a blessing in itself too. Lastly, imagine wrestling your dearly beloved yet intimidating Teacher, and you know that this fight will bring you closer together. You you know what he's like– he'll wrestle until you can't go anymore, and you won't give in or give up until that point, when you're just too exhausted to continue. But he won't triumph over you; he'll honor your sincere and devoted effort, and encourage you as his student, and his words of delight in you will light a fire in your heart to persevere and continue to improve in future combat, even as his strength has served to increase yours. BUT!! If you DID throw in the towel BEFORE you were spent, simply "deciding to quit", he would be upset and disappointed in you; he would even shout at you to get up, keep going, etc.! You would dishonor HIM as your teacher to NOT do your utmost, and therefore NOT seek his edifying favor in the process!! Does that make sense? It's something similar. God is training us as His children, even in this way. Nobody else can do so. And honestly we wouldn't even desire that. AS His children, as His Chosen People, Who else would we even care to turn to? No one is like our God. We're not interested in the empty praises and gifts of strangers and idols. Our God is the only One we WANT a blessing from, let alone CAN be blessed by. And we wouldn't strive so hard if it wasn't WORTH striving for. True blessings are never just handed out for free. Even if it seems like it is, we must first be brought to a point where we CAN be blessed and RECEIVE that blessing, and that process, however overlooked or unconscious, may indeed be arduous. And yet blessings are always being showered down upon us, in countless ways– rain, sunshine, harvest, rest, safety, health, etc. THAT'S GOD'S CHARACTER! He is MERCIFUL and He LOVES to bless us. But if we are ungrateful and careless with them, He will withhold them. Likewise, if we have a history like Jacob, of being manipulative and arrogant, we need to PROVE our repentance and willingness to be changed by grace before God will bless us with something great. That's for our good too; we won't therefore be condemned for misusing it. Wrestling wears out our ego. When we're worn out and utterly dependent on God to lift us up, He will.)
(I'm rambling again. I can't get my thoughts in order on a phone. I apologize.)


⭐⭐⭐‼️‼️ "[Let me go, for] The day breaketh, and I am not willing that there should be any spectators or witnesses of these things."
(THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. OUR WRESTLING IS NOT MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT OR SHOW. THERE IS NO AUDIENCE. IT'S INTIMATE AND PERSONAL AND IN THE SECRET DARK. If you DO act like you're doing it for the camera, so go speak, then GOD will treat it the same way, and glorify Himself by utterly defeating you. You've turned it from prayer into performance, seeking your OWN glory, and so you will lose your blessing. But God still blesses you; its Who He is; because now, with your ego humbly crushed and your soul in need, you may be moved to quietly and desperately seek for Him alone by the river...)


⭐⭐‼️ "Except thou bless me with the blessings which Thou hast promised to Abraham and to me, among which one is protection in this hour of my danger."
(See I had NO IDEA that God had PROMISED such protection!! But there it IS, in Genesis 28:15= "I am with you! I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you!" I never realized God's "I will" statements are effectively promises in themselves. Honestly that's rewiring my entire brain. I'm so used to people saying "I will" and never following through, so I overlooked the same language in Scripture, not pausing to realize that GOD ACTUALLY DOES EVERYTHING HE SAYS HE WILL DO. So that reframes my whole perspective. I need to reread Scripture with THAT understanding; then I will much better understand His character.)


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------
------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It is worth noting that Israel's murmuring, complaints against Moses and longing to return to the peaceful lack of responsibility in slavery, which will be so typical of the desert wanderings, begin as soon as they face the first obstacles."

"...using His mysterious preferred title ‘Son of man’ (which He often uses in connection with the Passion)"

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Preaching, then, is an apostolic task, an angelic task, a Christian task, a divine task. The word of God is so filled with manifold goodness that it is like a treasury of all good things. From this word come faith, hope, charity, all the virtues, all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, all the gospel beatitudes, all good works, all merit in this life, all the glory of paradise. ‘Receive the implanted word which is able to save your souls.’
    For the word of God is light to the mind and fire to the will, enabling man to know and to love God. To the interior man who lives by grace for the Spirit of God, it is bread and water; but it is a bread sweeter than honey from the comb, a water better than milk or wine. For the soul it is a spiritual treasure-house of merits, and so is called gold and very precious stones. For the heart that is obstinately hardened in vice it is a hammer; and against the devil, the world and the flesh it is a sword that slays every sin.'

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cannot wait to truly read this next chapter of Corinthians =

"Well then, I made up my mind not to pay you a second distressing visit. I may have hurt you, but if so I have hurt the only people who could give me any pleasure. I wrote as I did to make sure that, when I came, I should not be distressed by the very people who should have made me happy. I am sure you all know that I could never be happy unless you were. When I wrote to you, in deep distress and anguish of mind, and in tears, it was not to make you feel hurt but to let you know how much love I have for you.
    Someone has been the cause of pain; and the cause of pain not to me, but to some degree – not to overstate it – to all of you. The punishment already imposed by the majority on the man in question is enough; and the best thing now is to give him your forgiveness and encouragement, or he might break down from so much misery. So I am asking you to give some definite proof of your love for him. What I really wrote for, after all, was to test you and see whether you are completely obedient. Anybody that you forgive, I forgive; and as for my forgiving anything – if there has been anything to be forgiven, I have forgiven it for your sake in the presence of Christ. And so we will not be outwitted by Satan – we know well enough what his intentions are."

Profile

ieroaima: (Default)
ieroaima

August 2025

S M T W T F S
      1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Aug. 26th, 2025 02:58 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios